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Becoming Dragon Lord has brought a wave of new responsibilities for Ember, none of which she enjoys. The first of these tasks are the formal negotiations with Equestria, which will either formalize peace between the two nations or else be the start of a deadly war. She's pretty sure it's going to be the former, but if she has to sit through another awful meeting, she may change her mind.

Spike offers her an alternative: visit the spa.


Written as a minific commission by Vilken666 on my Patreon. Fluff isn't really my genre, but I took my best crack at it anyway. This was the result. Credit for the fantastic cover goes to Zutcha, as usual.

First Published
16th May 2017
Last Modified
16th May 2017
#1 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

On seeing the title, I was wondering if this might be a continuation of Rainbow Dash/Twilight/Rarity go to The Spa.

Guess not :p

#2 · 1w, 2d ago · 40 · ·

Twilight tilted her head as she thought. "This is..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ember, but my answer remains no."

"What's the problem? I thought you ponies liked..." Ember's face twisted as she spat out the last word, "generosity."

"We do, and this offer is remarkably generous on your part. But I can't set a precedent of using Equestrian citizens as bargaining chips."

Ember rolled her eyes. "So wrap it in some flowery pony language. Say he's an ambassador or something."

"I might... if you explain why you're willing to exchange that many gems a year for Bulk Biceps of all ponies."

After a few seconds of silence, Ember said, "What's that word you keep using when I ask about your army?"

"Classified?"

"Right. That's classified."

#3 · 1w, 2d ago · 6 · ·

That last exchange between Spike and Ember could totally be... um... taken the wrong way... :trollestia:

#4 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

>>8167692 oh gods my sides :rainbowlaugh:

Well, this was quite cute. Yes Star, you can write fluff too :yay:

I just wonder when will Spike realize Ember is sweet on him :raritystarry:

#5 · 1w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Thats last sentence?

By your command.:raritywink:

#6 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

>>8167826

Almost as good as "As you wish" hehe

#7 · 1w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

It had taken him years before the comparatively backward ponies of Ponyville had finally accepted him into the village. He didn't want to go back to the days of mothers pulling their foals close whenever he walked by.

*Watches the show.*

Nope, not seeing any dragophobes in Ponyville.

#8 · 1w, 1d ago · 3 · ·

>>8167692

Twilight tilted her head as she thought. "This is..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ember, but my answer remains no."

"What's the problem? I thought you ponies liked..." Ember's face twisted as she spat out the last word, "generosity."

"We do, and this offer is remarkably generous on your part. But I can't set a precedent of using Equestrian citizens as bargaining chips."

Ember rolled her eyes. "So wrap it in some flowery pony language. Say he's an ambassador or something."

"I might... if you explain why you're willing to exchange that many gems a year for Bulk Biceps of all ponies."

After a few seconds of silence, Ember said, "What's that word you keep using when I ask about your army?"

"Classified?"

"Right. That's classified."

Spike: ":moustache:YEAH!"

Twilight: ":twilightoops:"

#9 · 1w, 1d ago · 2 · 26 ·

(Reads description) oh cool, must be a clopfic

(Looks at tags). Awwww, never mind

I am disappoint

#11 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Welp. That's goin' in my favourites. :twilightsmile:

#12 · 1w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Well, this was cute.:rainbowlaugh:

Pretty clever of Ember, too.

#13 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Least they didn't say 'date'.

#14 · 1w, 1d ago · 9 · ·

>>8168465 Good sir. . .not everything has to be clop.

#15 · 1w, 1d ago · · 5 ·

>>8168465 fuck yourself Cumb Dunt

#17 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

>>8168465

Same here

At you, not the story.

#18 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

If Bulk wasn't strong enough to break her back, the next person who would have busted in through the wall would have been Bane.

#19 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

>>8169659

oh hay look its Taiga Aisaka

#20 · 1w, 1d ago · · 6 ·

>>8169490

>>8169724

Those are both examples of the "Ad Hominem" fallacy (look it up).  Therefore, your arguments are invalid.l

>>8169270

Good, at least there's someone reasonable here.  Yes, you're right.  Not everything has to be clop.  I've read plenty of good stories on this website that have no sexual content in them what so ever.  

However, the basic premise of this story just screams "clopfic".  Ember get's stressed about her work and goes to the spa to relax.  That could easilly turn sexual.  Not to mention the cover image.

If you seriously don't think a clopfic with that premise could show in the featured box, then you must not have been on this site for very long.  I've seen some $#!%.  Or maybe I'm just f***ed in the head.  Idk.

#21 · 1w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

>>8169998 I have no real desire to get in on this discussion, but I feel that if you are going to try and educate others using fallacies you should be held to them yourself as well. You sir have been caught using

The fallacy fallacy

-You presumed that because a claim has been poorly argued, or a fallacy has been made, that the claim itself must be wrong.

-It is entirely possible to make a claim that is false yet argue with logical coherency for that claim, just as it is possible to make a claim that is true and justify it with various fallacies and poor arguments.

-Example: Recognizing that Rarity had committed a fallacy in arguing that we should eat healthy food because a nutritionist said it was popular, Pinkie said we should therefore eat double hayburgers every day.

#22 · 1w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

>>8169998

Say what you want, champ.

#23 · 1w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

Lovely story! Also impressive use of Bulk here :raritywink:

Zyrian
Story Approver
#24 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

>>8168465

Still a good fic though.

#25 · 1w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

>>8167692

"Right. That's classified."

See 1:28 - 1:35

#26 · 1w, 20h ago · · 13 ·

I came here expecting a comedy, but got very little. That aside this is a fairly good short story.

If you were looking for a comedy like I was. Check out my story, Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo Make an Abomination It relies heavily on a punchline at the end.

Yaaa for shameless self-promotion, people are very nasty with down votes. I generally can use those to determine if something is good or not but the reasons some people down vote some stories leaves me questioning if I should continue that practice. Anyways, I don't down vote any story b/c it leaves a scar on a story that could always be improved.

#27 · 1w, 13h ago · · ·

Using the information delivered by >>8170142 I have reached the addendum that >>8169998 is in fact, a dumb cunt. Shut your face and get your mind out of the gutter.

#28 · 6d, 3h ago · · ·

At the risk of giving away a future episode spoiler, there's going to be an episode where King Thorax and Princess Ember go to Ponyville for a meeting on the same day. The episode will be called 'The Triple Threat', and after reading this story, I can imagine Spike taking Ember to Ponyville Spa to keep Thorax from meeting her and causing trouble. That's how good this story is - it's good enough to actually happen in the future episode, minus Ember saying 'crap' of course. XD

#29 · 6d, 3h ago · · ·

>>8169270  Hey Crisis, do you want to be friend? Because you and me have a similar mindset. Thumbs up to your comment, good sir or madam. I'm gonna guess 'sir'?

#30 · 5d, 22h ago · · ·

Good story, though at the start Ember did seem a bit...uncharacteristically mean. To me at least.  "The last part was always what Spike looked forward to the most: the massage." :moustache: I immediately thought of Bulk Biceps after reading that. YEAH!! Anyways, good job. I enjoyed it!

Dan
#31 · 5d, 17h ago · 2 · ·

Considering some of the dragons wanted to invade Equesrtria to steal pillows, I'm surprised Ember hasn't negotiated a trade agreement for bedding.

#32 · 2d, 3h ago · 1 · ·

This was quite amusing.  Thanks for writing it. :twilightsmile:

#33 · 21h, 15m ago · · ·

I really enjoyed this piece of amusing fluff. Ember certainly felt rather in character, with a really solid reasoning for her more abrasive earlier behavior. I wouldn't mind a different story, one where Ember shows off what dragons can offer ponies, things that BOTH species can enjoy <3

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