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Student, Author, and Programmer


E

Becoming Dragon Lord has brought a wave of new responsibilities for Ember, none of which she enjoys. The first of these tasks are the formal negotiations with Equestria, which will either formalize peace between the two nations or else be the start of a deadly war. She's pretty sure it's going to be the former, but if she has to sit through another awful meeting, she may change her mind.

Spike offers her an alternative: visit the spa.


Written as a minific commission by Vilken666 on my Patreon. Fluff isn't really my genre, but I took my best crack at it anyway. This was the result. Credit for the fantastic cover goes to Zutcha, as usual.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 54 )

On seeing the title, I was wondering if this might be a continuation of Rainbow Dash/Twilight/Rarity go to The Spa.
Guess not :p

Twilight tilted her head as she thought. "This is..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ember, but my answer remains no."

"What's the problem? I thought you ponies liked..." Ember's face twisted as she spat out the last word, "generosity."

"We do, and this offer is remarkably generous on your part. But I can't set a precedent of using Equestrian citizens as bargaining chips."

Ember rolled her eyes. "So wrap it in some flowery pony language. Say he's an ambassador or something."

"I might... if you explain why you're willing to exchange that many gems a year for Bulk Biceps of all ponies."

After a few seconds of silence, Ember said, "What's that word you keep using when I ask about your army?"

"Classified?"

"Right. That's classified."

That last exchange between Spike and Ember could totally be... um... taken the wrong way... :trollestia:

8167692 oh gods my sides :rainbowlaugh:

Well, this was quite cute. Yes Star, you can write fluff too :yay:
I just wonder when will Spike realize Ember is sweet on him :raritystarry:

Thats last sentence?

By your command.:raritywink:

8167826

Almost as good as "As you wish" hehe

It had taken him years before the comparatively backward ponies of Ponyville had finally accepted him into the village. He didn't want to go back to the days of mothers pulling their foals close whenever he walked by.

*Watches the show.*

Nope, not seeing any dragophobes in Ponyville.

8167692

Twilight tilted her head as she thought. "This is..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ember, but my answer remains no."
"What's the problem? I thought you ponies liked..." Ember's face twisted as she spat out the last word, "generosity."
"We do, and this offer is remarkably generous on your part. But I can't set a precedent of using Equestrian citizens as bargaining chips."
Ember rolled her eyes. "So wrap it in some flowery pony language. Say he's an ambassador or something."
"I might... if you explain why you're willing to exchange that many gems a year for Bulk Biceps of all ponies."
After a few seconds of silence, Ember said, "What's that word you keep using when I ask about your army?"
"Classified?"
"Right. That's classified."

Spike: ":moustache:YEAH!"
Twilight: ":twilightoops:"

(Reads description) oh cool, must be a clopfic

(Looks at tags). Awwww, never mind

I am disappoint

Welp. That's goin' in my favourites. :twilightsmile:

Well, this was cute.:rainbowlaugh:

Pretty clever of Ember, too.

Least they didn't say 'date'.

8168465 Good sir. . .not everything has to be clop.

8168465
Same here

At you, not the story.

If Bulk wasn't strong enough to break her back, the next person who would have busted in through the wall would have been Bane.

8169659
oh hay look its Taiga Aisaka

8169490
8169724
Those are both examples of the "Ad Hominem" fallacy (look it up). Therefore, your arguments are invalid.l

8169270
Good, at least there's someone reasonable here. Yes, you're right. Not everything has to be clop. I've read plenty of good stories on this website that have no sexual content in them what so ever.

However, the basic premise of this story just screams "clopfic". Ember get's stressed about her work and goes to the spa to relax. That could easilly turn sexual. Not to mention the cover image.

If you seriously don't think a clopfic with that premise could show in the featured box, then you must not have been on this site for very long. I've seen some $#!%. Or maybe I'm just f***ed in the head. Idk.

8169998 I have no real desire to get in on this discussion, but I feel that if you are going to try and educate others using fallacies you should be held to them yourself as well. You sir have been caught using
The fallacy fallacy
-You presumed that because a claim has been poorly argued, or a fallacy has been made, that the claim itself must be wrong.
-It is entirely possible to make a claim that is false yet argue with logical coherency for that claim, just as it is possible to make a claim that is true and justify it with various fallacies and poor arguments.
-Example: Recognizing that Rarity had committed a fallacy in arguing that we should eat healthy food because a nutritionist said it was popular, Pinkie said we should therefore eat double hayburgers every day.

8169998
Say what you want, champ.

Lovely story! Also impressive use of Bulk here :raritywink:

8168465

Still a good fic though.

8167692

"Right. That's classified."

See 1:28 - 1:35

I came here expecting a comedy, but got very little. That aside this is a fairly good short story.

If you were looking for a comedy like I was. Check out my story, Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo Make an Abomination It relies heavily on a punchline at the end.

Yaaa for shameless self-promotion, people are very nasty with down votes. I generally can use those to determine if something is good or not but the reasons some people down vote some stories leaves me questioning if I should continue that practice. Anyways, I don't down vote any story b/c it leaves a scar on a story that could always be improved.

Using the information delivered by 8170142 I have reached the addendum that 8169998 is in fact, a dumb cunt. Shut your face and get your mind out of the gutter.

At the risk of giving away a future episode spoiler, there's going to be an episode where King Thorax and Princess Ember go to Ponyville for a meeting on the same day. The episode will be called 'The Triple Threat', and after reading this story, I can imagine Spike taking Ember to Ponyville Spa to keep Thorax from meeting her and causing trouble. That's how good this story is - it's good enough to actually happen in the future episode, minus Ember saying 'crap' of course. XD

8169270 Hey Crisis, do you want to be friend? Because you and me have a similar mindset. Thumbs up to your comment, good sir or madam. I'm gonna guess 'sir'?

Good story, though at the start Ember did seem a bit...uncharacteristically mean. To me at least. "The last part was always what Spike looked forward to the most: the massage." :moustache: I immediately thought of Bulk Biceps after reading that. YEAH!! Anyways, good job. I enjoyed it!

Dan

Considering some of the dragons wanted to invade Equesrtria to steal pillows, I'm surprised Ember hasn't negotiated a trade agreement for bedding.

This was quite amusing. Thanks for writing it. :twilightsmile:

I really enjoyed this piece of amusing fluff. Ember certainly felt rather in character, with a really solid reasoning for her more abrasive earlier behavior. I wouldn't mind a different story, one where Ember shows off what dragons can offer ponies, things that BOTH species can enjoy <3

Very cute bit of fluff, I love when someone gets a tsundere character like Ember down just right! The Bulk Biceps part, while not gut-busting, was very, very chuckle-worthy and I enjoyed the whole fic very much. Well done, indeed, thank you for the pleasant and fun read! :scootangel:

Figured Bulk would show up when Aloe mentioned dragons requiring more force than ponies. And he did not disappoint.

This story was about: 20% comedy, 15% slice of life and 65% upliftingness.
All in all, very pleasant. Made my day much better. (I had the "meh" feelings before I had read this story. Now I smile like an idiot for no reason.) Thank you for that! :heart:

Well, wasn't expecting a second chapter to this. Funny as the first one though.:twilightsmile::rainbowlaugh:

Alondro rises up next to Ember with a creepy leer, "Heyyyyyy, dragon babe. Let me knead all the kinks out of ya... and I do mean 'kinks' in every sense of the word! Giggity!" :rainbowwild:

pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/518258838395711489/BLS_1kZz_400x400.jpeg

Ember shreds the perv to bloody bits in ten seconds flat.

:trollestia:

There was only one roasted cow here

"OH MY FAUST, THAT WAS Daisy Jo!!" :raritydespair:

You sick twisted dragons! How could you do something so vile! Cooking talking creatures is PURE, UNADULTERATED EVIL!!

*pants in rage, then smooths his hair*

Now, doing smexy things and then swallowing them whole, on the other hoof.... that's totally awesome. (The dragons flee in terror from the horrific vore.) :pinkiecrazy:

But with their secrets… she would never need them again.

NOW you got it, Ember! Use them for all their knowledge, THEN smexy vore times!

(The dragons flee further...)

This is absolutely, brilliantly hilarious

Shame Rarity wouldn't let them rob Ember like that. Poor Dragon Lord has no idea how much equestrians value gold, but she'll learn. It might take a couple centuries and a stressed out spike, but she will :pinkiehappy:

And so Trade propered, with the volcano jacuzzis and vast investment portfolios, and each on both sides believing they had got a great deal out of things.

But, looking on the horizon, as trade complexity increased, loomed a new evil.

Accountants.:trollestia:

Ember is hilariously written here. Bravo.

Well...one dragon's trash is another pony's treasure and vice versa, so in a roundabout way, it all works out, and that's what matters here. :rainbowlaugh:

we could just wait for them to die."

Well that's... chilling.

The funny thing is, it's not entirely unreasonable for Ember to think the gold isn't worth much. I mean, it seems to be plentiful enough for Equestria to make their money out of...

How comes Spike can't use his claws to massage Ember?

Truly, Ember is the master of Diplomacy. She has conquered the ponies in 'trade' and 'friendship' and at little cost seized their most valuable of treasures. Praise Dragon Lord Ember! Praise!

Smart Spike, don't argue with dragon currency. Just get and go. Spike has years to explain it to her later.:moustache:

:twilightoops: uh--- By chance, is it possible that Ember recently read a book titled "The Secret of Trading With Poh-nees Who Don't Know The 'Rules of Acquisition'" which might have been left behind when an alien visitor traded his star ship in exchange for the recipe of "baked bads"? :rainbowderp: :pinkiesick:

I think neither group is 'dumb' per say, just seeing things from different perspective. Ember's viewpoint on objects made from gold being of more value than just the gold in bland form makes sense, because a block is good for little more than a paperweight, where as an object can be put to purpose or used as decoration. Ponies on the other hand see it's potential value. What it can be made into rather than what it is right now, and translate that to value (much like us).
I think a cultural education exchange is in order. With that much treasure she probably could have bought Ponyville.

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