• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
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"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Lucky Seven; Want to support me?


Forced into an exhausting and frustrating job by Twilight during what should be a relaxing summer break, Spike is flabbergasted to find that his first pay check will be coming late. The spa's owners, however, are confident they can give him something to tide him over until then.

A collaboration written in conjunction with my good friend (and even better writer) FamousLastWords. Rated T for adorable foreign pony swearing and spa snuggles.

Preread/edited by Maxwell_Edison, with cover art by Probablydnon.

EDIT: Featured 10/8/18!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 44 )

This was interesting and funny for sure. Spike at least got something out of it, was it worth a week or so worth of pay, that is up for him to decide but I do know it was a funny story with the Twins doing all they can to not get the wrath of a princess brought down on them for cheating her assistant out of his pay lol.

Why do you release gold when I need to get ready for work? Oh well. It was worth being late!

Wish I could read all the russian, half I can but the rest, I have to use google translate.
Nice story, funny and cute snuggels, even Spike have a better life than me.

This was fun. If Spike ever did another job, it would be this!:moustache:

“Oh no, not anymore,” she replied with a shake of her head. “Celestia removed taxation from income this past year.”

Yet another reason to want to move to Equestria.

Well I love everything about this, Took me a minute to translate the Russian bits, but I think I got most of it all, Love the story

This was a fun little read. I hope Aloe and Lotus can sort out their financial issues.

I had a h:yay:ll of a good time reading this. Every time I translated a word I started laughing.
The all-caps “УРОД!” got me because it made me think of the Game Grumps clip where Arin just belts out "YOU FREAK!" :rainbowlaugh:

It's been a long time since a shipping story of Spike x Aloe x Lotus came into play; please make more chapters this is just getting started.

Plus since they help Spike feel relaxed and appreciated why not Spike repay them with his own?

Spike had nothing against foreigners, of course (friendship being magic, and all), but the other workers had thicker accents and a much worse command of the Equestrian language than their bosses did.

I always wondered about this. Where the other accents/languages in Equestria came from? Sure, the primary Equestrian language appears to either be English or a language translated to English (the series flip flops [constantly with the way written words are depicted), but other language and language families have been depicted, such as German, French, Chinese, Japanese, Nahuatl, Scythian, etc and a few in-universe languages like Olde Equestrianne and the Zebra language have been shown to be separate languages from the "common language".

What makes it weirder that the official maps of Equestria show that all of Equestria is a pretty big place that stretches across an entire continent, while every other continent is dedicated to other races (Griffons, Cat lords, Dragons and Kirin, Yaks, etc), with the only Pony settlement that are not apart of mainland Equestria being the Griffish Isles (and technically Manehattan), so foreign countries probably aren't the answer. My only guess is they're regional dialects in parts of Equestria that haven't been explored much.

Yet again, I'm probably putting to much thought into this show.

Room four,” Spike repeated slowly, punctuating his statement by raising a corresponding set of claws.

The light blue stallion with a rather sloppy manestyle rapidly transferred his attention back and forth between Spike’s limb and his exhausted expression. After a few moments, he lit up his horn and picked up four towels. “Four?” He repeated hopefully.

Spike slapped his own face with a concerning degree of force. “No!” He repeated, gesturing with both of his arms simultaneously. “One towel, room four.”

The stallion blinked a few times. “Four?” He repeated, less optimistically this time.


Hmm, well, Latin was a root for some of those languages, or played some part in its development, including English (especially English), and Latin has been established to be a (dead) language in the show (there's been a couple instances of it here and there), so I'd assume that, at some point in Equestria's history, Latin was a predominate language, so much so that it influenced many other languages, just like it did in real life. Further, an "Old Ponish" has been established in the show that was fairly similar in structure and sound to that of Old English, so that further suggests there was some old and dead Celtic language (or two) that played a role in the development of some of these languages too.

Granted, that doesn't account for languages like Chinese or Japanese, but the show hasn't been especially clear where the area of origin is for those languages are (something that rather frustrates me, but that's neither here nor there), so for all we know, their original native region is far enough removed from Equestria to justify it developing as a separate language. Really, you just need a region isolated enough from the rest of the cultures to allow that happening, which isn't too hard, especially for MLP's tech level.

Actually, now that I think of it, a better question is how did the English Equestrian language (their "Ponish" apparently) become so widespread and adopted by so many cultures, even when said cultures had next to no prior contact with Equestria prior to their introduction in the show, like the Kirin or even the Yaks? Even in instances of cultures having justifiable enough contact with the ponies to know the pony language such as the dragons and changelings are still removed enough from them and on their own enough that they really should have their own native languages other than Ponish that they should be speaking/writing/using too, but we've been shown next to no actual evidence of this.

So basically, how did this "Ponish" get to be so massively influential that it received widespread adoption and replacement of other preexisting languages that might have existed so thoroughly and completely, despite any limits of contact with the race that supposedly developed it? If we can figure out that much, it'd probably help explain a lot of other anomalies with the languages in MLP.

But yeah, that's probably all still thinking too much into it. To say nothing of how it's not too relevant to this fanfic. :rainbowlaugh:

Dragon though he was, water seeped between Spike’s scales in a way that lava simply did not.

Hot water that will not scald pony skin is, at most, around 58C (about 135F). The absolute minimum temperature for silicate lava is around 650C (1,200F, 9 times hotter). Spike wouldn't notice the water at all. The coolest of all lava is natrocarbonatite lava, found in only a single volcano on earth. But even it has a minimum temp of 500C. It's also too cool to glow visibly in the daytime, and at night is only dull red.

Damn it Twilight.

It's a joke that's been done before, but you did it well. :moustache:

The story was simply adorable and i would love to see a bit more.

Single little nitpick
"But you’ll make plenty of bits...and I’m sure you’ll see Rarity practically every day." Consistency is key, and at some places do you have a space after your ellipses and others none as seen here.

“That is not ze issue here, сука! The issue is I must waste all of Friday night at work because you lose all our money playing Дурак...Again!”

“I was about to win big against Евгений!”

“Мне похуй!”

Oh these two:rainbowlaugh:!

Man, Spike is one lucky dog, getting a treatment from the two hottest spa ponies in Ponyville:moustache:!!! I know so many ponies are gonna be so jealous:rainbowwild:!!!

Good catch, and probably an artifact of there being two authors

English is a Germanic language, not a Latin language. The only reason English is related at all to Latin is because the (to-become) French conquered the (to-become) English and mutated the shit out of it.

Boris approves.

Cousin Anatoli, is that you?

Normally stories with this kind of plot would require the Mature-tag...

It's good to see one who limits itself to cuddling for once.

There will never be any
from this boi

Just when I read about Spike being hurt by a hot tub, I went, "This motherfucker dunked his scaly ass into lava and this hurts him?"
Then you casually gave a plausible enough reason that I shrugged off that little fact in a work of fiction about pastel, talking horses.

I do have on wonder, though. Wouldn't it be more fitting to say, "Idle claws are Discord's playthings"?
For no other reason than I legitimately see that as something Discord does. Going around Equestria fucking with people who lay around too much by turning their hands/hooves/whatever against them.

All in all? Cute Russian twins, swearing I don't understand and hot, wet cuddles.
10/10 would read again.

Well, in all honesty, English is really the kitchen sink of languages, picking up bits and pieces from just about everything around it--it becoming such a widespread language helped with that. But yes, grammatically English is more Germanic/Celtic in structure, and that's my bad for overlooking that. :twilightblush:

But trust someone who's studied both Latin and the history of English--there's still a lot of Latin influence in the language, partly because it does borrow so much from other languages around it. It's by no means a romance language, and again that's my bad for implying otherwise earlier...but it still bears a noteworthy Latin influence.

Despite that slip-up, my other points made in my previous comment still stand. :twilightsmile:

Featured 10/9/18!

Евгений, you old chump, ты опять их облапошил в дураке? Poor, poor these two ponies...
(As russian, i really liked your story, keep doing it!)


I am a little confused here... Are dose twins MALES? Why you little pervert, Spike! :twilightsmile: Because "урод" is masculine, feminine word will be "уродка", and so on. Was that intentional? Otherwise this fanfic is a little confusing for a russian-speaking part of community.

*swears back in French*

France is bettar!!!

nah, russian. Russian is the sort of language that sounds like someone is threatening to gut you like a halibut when their telling you to have a nice day.

True, but German is the same thing

I wonder did Aloe enjoy cuddling with Spike, I imagine so but she didn't say yes

Spike cocked his head to the side. “Hold on. Isn’t there any, like, tax documentation I need to fill out or whatever?”

“Oh no, not anymore,” she replied with a shake of her head. “Celestia removed taxation from income this past year.”

Spike shrugged. “Heh, one pothole in her Castle’s courtyard and I bet she’ll be regretting that decision.

“Not really,” said Aloe, “Now there’s 20% sales tax on goods with a 50% tax on luxury items.”


Well, I always thought it's Arabic that sounds like a declaration of war.
Dann noch einen schönen Tag.

Spike snuggels :yay:
Having some seriouse game addiction to use company funds :facehoof:

More Spike Cuddle fics pls:twilightsmile:

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