• Member Since 10th Sep, 2013
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"I don't know how many years on this earth I got left. I'm gonna get real weird with it" --Frank Reynolds Patreon is here!


Spike has a problem regarding inviting two of his royal friends over on the same day! To avoid a diplomatic disaster, can Twilight, Starlight, and Spike prevent these two from meeting? No. No, they can’t. Let’s move on to the real problem.

Thanks to Tired Old Man and Nova Quill for their edits and inputs!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 99 )

Remember kids, when diplomacy fails, violence is always an option.

Dragons. Whether they're smart or as dense as the rocks they smash indiscriminately, we should all agree on one thing:

They're good at getting fired up.

...oh, and also giving sick burns.

... Well... that was... a thing... ish...

I imagine Twilight uses her magic later to slam Spike into a wall.


...is it odd of me to say this would have been a much more fun end to the episode?

...So, when can you start imposing your will into animation to make these alternative episodes available to the rest of us? Because THIS is what should have happened!

Except for Garble. His burns just fizzle out.

This was great. I love this Ember.

I'm not gonna lie

I was haveing the worst day today and then I read this and it cheered me right up :3

You know if Spike wasn't handed the idiot ball this episode, or if MLP somehow had a TV14 rating, this is more than likely how this would go.

Thanks for the laughs I needed them.:rainbowlaugh:

That was an interesting read.

“Uh, Ember? That’s, uh, kinda speciesist.”
Thank you!

“Just wanted you to know, you’re kind of an eyesore.”

*sniff sniff*

I smell a Spike story. Where there's Spike, I'm soon to follow. So, considering the undisputable facts of fimiction, here I am.

This. Right here. This should have been the episode.

If MLP had a teen rating, I'm pretty sure this is what the episode would've been. :rainbowlaugh:

Good stuff, have a thumbs up. :heart:

Just a reminder that there is a line where diplomacy ends and ass kicking begins.

Yeah...who else thinks the changelings should've retained their sleek black looks?
I don't know why 'internalising love' or whatever causes them to change shape and colour so drastically (some don't even have horns or wings anymore), but whatever it is, it's lame.

Amazing, psychotic work as always. :pinkiehappy:

You want Spike to have Twilight punched in the face again and again with no consequences or apology?:rainbowhuh:

What I Learned Today: A story is a conflict. Preferably violent conflict. Ideally without too much story getting in the way.

To be fair, Spike has put up with a lot of Twi abuse over the years. A little turn about is fair game.

I like the rhyme

This is pretty good. My favorite part had something to do with violence. Violence is good and better than mushy diplomacy.

“Oh… Uh…” Thorax blinked his eyes a few times as he mentally searched for a proper reaction. “No biggie,” Thorax replied. His eyes narrowed slightly. “Wait… is that why you keep running off?!”

You amuse me.

“Discord!” Thorax said with a smile on his face.

“Er, there’s like a fifty-fifty chance he might make things worse…”

The odds increase if he thinks it can be funny.

“On the other claw,” Spike continued, “there’s a reason we sometimes call Starlight ‘Twilight-lite.’”


You could even say she Twi-lite.

“Yeah!” Ember said. “Just wanted you to know, you’re kind of an eyesore.”

Oh dear.

“Also, you still both act the same, too! How’s anybody supposed to tell the difference between you two?!”

Starlight is a lighter shade, does have wings and is more openly possible insane.

Spike chuckled. “Yeah, but unlike some ponies, I don’t keep my emotions bottled up!”

Starlight pursed her lips into a tight frown then thought a moment. “Point taken.”

He's right you know.

Violence is like duct tape. If it didn't fix the problem, you haven't used enough of it.

Fun read! :rainbowlaugh:

*Gigglesnorts* :rainbowlaugh:

Spike sighed. “Look… Just check the backs for wings, okay! If it’s horned, purple, and can take flight, it’s Twilight. If it’s horned, purple, and flying a kite, it’s Starlight.”

*Screaming intensifies*

“NO!” Spike exclaimed. “Don’t try! Do or do not! There is no try!”

I see Spike has been taking lessons from Yoda

8382700 Ass kicking is a continuation of diplomacy through other means. Like ass-kicking.

Sweet, thumbs up. Only thing: it's paid, not payed. Payed is an old naval term for letting out rope, such as might be required to weigh anchor. Paid is the past tense of pay.

Nope! I want Justice3442 to be able to just WILL cartoons into being!


Yeah...who else thinks the changelings should've retained their sleek black looks?

Tons of people? :trixieshiftright: You do realize the color scheme drama has not stopped since the S6 finale last year, right? You do realize your opinion is remarkably popular, right?

No, and I guess?
I don't really tend to go on forums and stuff (heck, I don't even watch the IRL news), so I tend to not know about popular opinions and stuff until people like you point it out to me, or I pick it up out of osmosis.
I tend to know of opinions toward videogame franchises, because I am subscribed to a few game review channels, but attitudes towards TV shows...? Other than my own, nope.

...Though I'm guessing me saying I'm not interested in Game of Thrones would be quite a rare opinion, considering the number of small mentions I've heard...

Not like he didn't give back already. But eh, Spike's a sacred cow for a large part of the fandom. Especially here on FimFiction.

Seriously, at the next convention, someone needs to straight up ask the writers (in a polite way) why they keep handing Spike the Idiot Ball and making him look bad...

Yay! Violence!:pinkiehappy:

Cause they do it with every character. Spike isn't a special case here.

I just meant how he seems to hold the Idiot Ball in every episode that centers on him, and if he's not, then someone else is. Why do the writers rely on Idiot Ball so much?

Well that is a different question! If you ask me, it has to do with the format. Slice-of-life with only a very, very vague chronological order means they need to create a self-contained conflict within every episode. There's no outside conflict to focus on, after all. And the simplest way is to have one or more characters mess up.

I think it just their color scheme that doesn't work.

Got this, thanks! :twilightsmile:

Fair enough. :twilightsmile: Yeah, the changeling transformation has caused a lot of opinion friction in the fandom, up there with how bad it got when Twilight first got wings.

Compared to most people commenting here, the colors don't bother me, and I can appreciate the contrast of black insect vs decorated insect they were going for. Not to mention I love the whole concept of Awkward Thorax the Dadking trying to lead what is essentially a swarm of rebellious, rowdy teenagers. :rainbowlaugh:

The Glorious Swagon is taking names, pulling manes, and flirting dames.

Normally he’d savor things like a pony butt-warmed seat or free tea, but he had a dilemma on his claws.


“Ember’s right. I know it’s supposed to be the”— Spike air quoted with his claws –“‘True Changeling Form of Friendship’ or whatever, but like…

amazing comment :rainbowlaugh:
that's basically how I feel about the new changeling design

Spike time is best time of the day. So much better than the actual episode. I wish the series had gotten past the "butt-monkey Spike" episode requirement, but guess not. Something like this reads much better (and more funny).

Why isn't this canon?

I'm with Lady Ember on this:applejackunsure:
the new changeling design just looks dumb in my opinion:ajbemused:
it goes beyond the realm of childishly colorful like the ponies and dragons are and into the realm of a clown ate to many skittles and puked on a box of Crayola crowns :pinkiesick:

Because the show can never be as awesome as Justice. That's why ... which is sad.

:duck: So Spikey Poo you want me to teach Thorax about colors and clashing?
:moustache: Yeah, Right after our date!
:raritystarry: Our what?
:moustache: Not what. DATE! you know doing the eating and make out stuff!
:raritywink: I don't know what to say...
:derpytongue2: Say yes. I've seen what dragons can do...to muffins
:twilightoops: And it ain't pretty

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