Spike was always different from other dragons. Sure, he still had many of the standard abilities of a dragon (such as flame breath and really tough scales), but he also liked reading more than other dragons did and didn't enjoy many of the same activities that gave other dragons pleasure. He was also adept in the field of alchemy. His only friend growing up was the Dragon Lord's daughter Ember.
Now, however, he has a chance to find out WHY he is different from other dragons, even if it means saying goodbye to his only friend. However, if he isn't like any other dragon, then what is he like?
Is there another out in the world like him or is he truly alone?
If he isn't alone, then where will this new path take him?
Many adventures with new friends and dangerous new enemies will give him the chance to find out, for better or for worse.
The only way to see where he will end up is to keep moving forward and never look back.
REALLY good job on the first chapter. Intriguing depiction on what Spike could have ended up becoming like if Celestia returned him to his own kind after he was hatched. Yeah, it makes sense that he might be, to paraphrase Yogi Bear "smarter than the average dragon" (though focused on alchemy rather than stealing picnic baskets thankfully). Ember's interaction with Spike was wonderful stuff.
Anyway, the exchange, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. While I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this, I will also respect that real world concerns need to come first.
9548268
Awe thanks! I really wanted this first chapter to really go off perfectly and I tried. Spike being treated differently because of the way he was hatched would make sense to me as the dragons didn't seem fond of ponies period. Add that to the fact that since no dragon wanted to even really be near him, he would turn to something that he feels deep down is important, the element of Magic. Twilight was the one that gave the dragon his life and the spark she started in his soul or heart wasn't the normal fire that all other dragons had but a more magical one. This I feel would make him turn a lot into what Twilight was before the series but a bit softer version as he still had Ember. I hope that the Ember exchanges really showed these two being friends or even siblings.
Yeah I stayed up late writing this but maybe I could get a chapter done soon, it would be shorter as Ponyville and meeting Twilight would be chapter 3 (Edit, yeeeah didn't work out that way)
REALLY good job on this second chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up are all wonderfully done. I LOVED seeing Spike first stop to help that eagle and then help that giant spider collect enough fish to feed its young. And, yeah, Spike's run-in with the Diamond Dogs was exactly the right mix of funny and nerve-wracking. And now we have Spike's first meeting (in THIS universe) with Shining Armor.
VERY definitely going to be looking forward to what's next.
9550037
Thanks again heh, I wanted to set some things up with that first half and show the generous side to Spike but also adding a little lesson seemed like a very mlp thing to do. This is his first time in the world so he has no real hate towards any creature so he helps them when he sees one in danger. I'm really glad you enjoyed the action as it was more of a test this chapter and will be featured again in the next one. With the next chapter, we'll see Canterlot and Spike will be met with new (maybe old) kinds of foes.
Wowie. Thanks very much for getting this next chapter up. Again, you did a wonderful job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. I absolutely LOVED Shiny giving Spike the guided tour of Canterlot (with Shining ALSO noticing the similarities between Twilight and Spike). And, yeah, I also love how the two of them first encountered Katrina (an updated G1 villainess unless I miss my guess). And, yeah, it IS intriguing that Katrina initially looked like a shoplifter that got caught but turned out to be A LOT more dangerous (especially with the Evil Counterpart to Spike details).
9551729
I honestly didn't expect the tour to take so long and when i was done with it and was still planning to make this all one chapter I realized that it would be a nice play if the first chapter showed how Canterlot should be and chapter 2 shows what Katrina had turned it into. Yes, I want all the villains to challenge Spike and Twilight eventually in different ways. Katrina is a twisted version of what he could have been if he had no Ember and just had bitterness in him, the diamond dogs are old fashion bullies if not being a bit dangerous, King Sombra will be everything Spike isn't and so on. You are correct! I was looking for any villain to use that Spike could face and didn't find one I wanted to use yet so I went back and used Katrina from G1 but a bit updated. Yeah so in the next day or two we'll see Spike face someone who has plenty of tricks of their own and with Celestia corrupted like this I liked calling it a Black Sun form a bit cheesy but yeah.
I like this fanfic. It's awesome to see spike in such a heroic position. It was Spike who saved the day. And I am so happy for him.
9556763
Thanks! With Spike meeting the Mane 6 next chapter we will be seeing them sharing more of the fighting but Spike will still be the main character and while Discord is the Mane 6's enemy I think you will like what I have planned for Sombra. Heroic Spike is cool heh
9556768
Heroic spike is always awesome. How about when he gets his actual flesh-and-blood Wings he also gets black lightning like abilities. And I mean as an actual Black Lightning not the superhero character.
9556789
Black lightning is a thing I have planned down the road and it's just cool looking no matter what context
9556795
Indeed my friend indeed. But there's a fanfic where Spike does have black lightning but no wings. Just add wings to your Spike and that will differentiate the two of them in terms of the black Lightning's part.
9556798
Yeah winged Spike will happen much earlier than it did in the show.
9556805
More time to enjoy Spike flying around against Rainbow Dash.
Excellent job on this latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, action and future adventure set-up are all well done in all the right places. Loved the tricks Spike used to hang tough against Katrina, as well as Luna trying to reason with Celestia, Spike's chat with Ember in his mind, the fact Spike got proper credit for helping drive off Katrina (at least temporarily, but at least, unlike Spider-Man, Spike DOES avert Hero With Bad Publicity) and Celestia's point that Twilight and Spike can learn from each other (of course, Spike and Zecora could learn from each other too, but that's for further down the road).
And, yeah, Applejack's psychic reaction to Spike's Innocently Insensitive remark about apples DID provide a bit of humor to balance out the seriousness of the situation with Katrina.
9556959
Thanks I really wanted this two-parter to be worth the wait and I'm glad you liked it! All those interactions were ones that I came up more or less on the spot so seeing how well it all came out is nice to see. Oh and I think I put loads of foreshadowing in this chapter for later stuff oh and I plan to flush Katrina out way more in the future.
I'm glad you liked that Applejack bit as it gave me a chance of humor and shows a bit of how and why the girls are there to save Luna when the vortex goes down, Applejack noticed something was wrong
9556959
How much do you want to bet those like naysay are you going to try and throw mud on Spike's name and reputation as well as throw shade on the art of alchemy. Because it was a female Alchemist who caused the whole shebang.
9557077
That would make sense if it happens but we wouldn't see anything like that until Spike arrived back in Canterlot and the city could be spilt as Shining said before, the town is known for accepting all races but mostly they don't have to test that. Half the city could be against the idea of a good dragon
9557088
Change of subject how impressed do you think Twilight and Rainbow Dash would be of Spike's prosthetic wings? Cuz honestly I think Twilight and Rainbow Dash would both be very impressed with the wings maybe even Fluttershy and Rarity.
9557091
Rainbow would be impressed and would want to see what their limits are, twilight and fluttershy would be curious but in different ways with twi wondering about practical use and Flutter would wonder if it would be good for his body, rarity would care about how they look
9557114
Is he going to go through the molt? Does if he is I'm kind of worried how the girls would react to him trying to distance themselves during that time.
9557127
With what I have planned the molt may not happen as he could be gaining them through a different means
9557161
Okay good. I was actually worried that you might distance himself from the main 6th protect them. Though sadly they won't get to see them literally take down a giant predatory bird.
LOVED seeing this one-chapter mystery story. Yeah, I can definitely see where Spike would get upset about being falsely accused for stealing that diamond (pretty much ANYONE would hate getting falsely accused, but the racial profiling of that one unicorn only made it worse). And, at least that cop showed Spike enough respect to give him the chance to help out. And, Spike helping catch the REAL thief was great stuff, as was his first meetings with Smolder and Twilight at the very end of this chapter.
Anyway, you did a wonderful job on the exchanges, characterizations and future adventure set-up in all the right places.
9559102
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! I really wanted the mystery to be there if only for a moment and with Smolder out in the world we get a chance to see her again and I also went back to MLP roots for the character of Sundance who I have plans for. Maybe we will even see that jerk unicorn or the cop again. Next chapter though will focus on Twilight and Spike with the other Mane 6
LOVED seeing Twilight giving Spike the tour of Ponyville. Spike's thoughts on Twilight and her friends are a GREAT detail and I immensely enjoyed the little stories of some of the things that have happened already as Twilight introduced her to the rest of the Mane Six and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And, yeah, it makes sense that Twilight and Spike could bond so much so quickly (especially since Twi is, for all intents and purposes, his long-lost big sister). I especially liked the touch at the end with Luna looking at that picture (I'm guessing it's a picture of herself and Celestia as fillies with one of their parents but I will admit that I could be wrong).
Anyway, excellent work on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places.
9563332
Nope you are correct about that at the end, it is supposed to be Celestia and Luna with their mother. The big idea is that they know (Or that Celestia does and she told Luna) who Spike is and remembers the dragon that she sent away only to see it find its way back. That is why she sent him to live near Twilight and Luna was doing a bit of thinking about her family. Also, I am trying to get down a time frame near exact as the story works as if Spike is coming in late season one where everyone has already had adventures of their own and now with a newcomer, they will have more with new villains and some they have already dealt with.
Again, you did an excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, action, humor and future chapter set-up in all the right places. LOVED the banter between Twilight and Spike at the beginning of the chapter as well as the interactions with Pinkie and the Crusaders around the middle of the chapter. Though, yeah, NOT that surprised that the Diamond Dogs came back for a bit of payback. Them using the Crusaders as bait for Spike was surprisingly smart FOR THEM. That, being said, I DID like the Crusaders using teamwork to escape (considering this is late in Season One, it was a really good note to see Sweetie learning to use her magic a couple of years sooner than in canon) and give Spike a chance to get HIS licks in too. Though, yeah, I DID feel really bad for Spike considering how much damage he took from the Diamond Dogs, but at least he has a fair number of friends to help him until he makes a full recovery. I'll admit the blood caught me off-guard, but I acknowledge that it was a necessity to show just how dangerous these adventures are going to be. Hopefully, Ember's eventual visit isn't going to go TOO badly.
Thanks CK! Yeah Sweetie Belle was able to find the magic but is nowhere to the level of her sister and in the future, we see that she can only use it when she is in a desperate situation and can only use the magic on one item at a time. Yeah the blood was something I questioned for a while but kept it as I want to show how much of a danger these villains are but I don't want to result to needlessly add gore and blood as it would take away from the story. As for Ember visiting Ponyville then that may be a while but hopefully, it will be more fun based
Are any of the characters in this story based off of characters from Fullmetal Alchemist?
9568408
Hmm not particularly because I still need to see the anime, not sure to go with brotherhood or og but I like and know the characters a bit that they may have influenced the action or a few different bits of the characters. Alchemist science is different than in the show but I plan to take in a bit more from FMA later in the future when it comes to what alchemy can do. Thanks for the question!
9568428
Watch them both. When I was younger I got at least one episode of the original anime and it was great. It was the episode that Envy's original anime counterpart appeared in. I've also seen good chunk of Brotherhood. It follows the manga very closely and has great animation and follows the story of the manga pretty well. They each have their own merits.
9568729
That is what I heard and I will soon I also have only watched the first season of mlp for this story but once I hit the season 1 finale with my story I will have to finish season two so I know where to take the story next as Discord with play a large part
Not much I can say other than excellent job on this latest chapter. Loved the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Yeah, considering what he went through stopping Katrina the first time, it makes sense that Spike would get Gala tickets. And, considering he has nine new friends, ten tickets works out just right there. And, yeah, LOVED the detail of how protective Twilight and the others got concerning Spike following that most recent mess with the Diamond Dogs. And, yikes, looks like Katrina is going to make a revenge play even sooner than I thought.
Yep she is my endgame for the first season seeing that the original ending was not really a battle but a lesson that needed to be learned. I will have a lesson in my story but a big battle can't hurt and this time I get to use everyone!
9575469
I just got an ideal for Spike. How about he starts to develop new breath weapons such as Lightning, acid, freezing breath, a combination of a fire and lightning breath weapon, and a pure energy Bean breath weapon. And no I'm basing these off of Dungeons & Dragons breath attacks from the dragons not from Spyro. The fire and lightning combined breath weapon is actually from a hybrid between blue dragons and Red Dragons in Dungeons & Dragons Cannon which would make Spike super op if he was a hybrid purple dragon.
Excellent job on this latest chapter. LOVED the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially liked the funny bits between Spike, the Mane Six and the Crusaders at the start of the chapter (including Twilight taking that picture of Rainbow and Fluttershy, Rarity catching herself BEFORE she actually said "'raised on a farm'" and Pinkie's wild carriage ride arrival. And Twilight's sticking up for Spike was great stuff too, as was Twilight and Spike's admissions to certain details (I.e. Twilight admitting that she hated dragons at first too and the reason why. Spike admitting how rough he had it among the other dragons) close to the end of the chapter and Celestia and Luna's bits of reflection around the middle. But, hoo boy. Katrina's striking at Spike at the VERY end of the chapter JUST before getting ready to strike at the city - very definitely appropriately nerve-racking.
Definitely going to be looking forward to part two.
9579126
I hoped that you liked the humor! That was the thing that I was feeling okay about but I hoped everything wasn't moving too fast but the next chapter will be long and hopefully end off season one in a good place. All the reflections and what the princesses are hiding will be brought to light in season two with Discord being a villain who can hurt Spike easily he might rather break the dragon down before he relaxes and isn't evil anymore. Next chapter we will see what the pride of Canterlot really is
9579150
Yeah. I kind of figured. And, well, before I forget, I hope you and your family and friends have had/continue to have a Happy Easter.
9579233
You too CK! I work but hopefully can find time to have some fun! Oh after the finale of this first season I have something to work on in the meantime and I'll like your option on it when you have the time
Excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, action, general adventure wrap-up and future adventure set-up in all the right places. I particularly liked the chat between Twilight and Luna before the big battle began (including the foreshadowing for some of the OTHER major villains Twilight and the others will be facing [or in the case of the Flim-Flam Brothers {representing Greed}, not really major villains, but still having the brains to be serious threats if they were to ever focus their technical skills on something more ambitious than their usual patter]), the fact that the Princesses were able to put up a MUCH better fight than the show could EVER allow them to (to the point where they, Twilight and Rarity came REALLY close to actually overloading Katrina's power stone), the fact that the ponies got so much help in that fight (including from characters who weren't introduced until several years later), the fact that Pinkie not only made great use of her comic style in the battle, but actually got Spike to the front lines in time to deliver the final blow against Katrina and what I will be guessing to be the set-up for your future answer to Equestria Girls.
Anyway, definitely eagerly awaiting season two (especially since I have a hunch that the chaos from Katrina's zombie siege GREATLY weakened Discord's stone prison).
9582450
Starting with that last bit of your comment, I bet with how things have changed to bring more chaos in the world I agree that Discord's prison would be near the edge of shattering. All it would take is one last big push and the princesses seem to know this by the end of the chapter. That Chat between Twilight and Luna was something I came up with on the spot but really built on it as she could relate to Spike's situation and saw Twilight as a stand-in for her sister. Any and every villain can be dangerous if they let themselves lose all that makes them good. Katrina's past will be later told and we see how she lost everything. The princesses are amazingly strong so I hoped I did them a bit of justice. I had to include BM because I find all the fan stuff of him awesome heh. I think he'll be back to help if there is a reason. As for that Equestria Girls thing we'll see tomorrow heh.
You won't regret this.
9587933
Yeah a special line here which will return someday
A good first chapter.
A cat is fine too.
Nice chapter love Smolder's introduction to the story.
Well damn this chapter kicks ass.
9624269
thanks I think I get better as I go along
9624511
I plan to do much more with her in season two this mostly showed what she is doing on her own
9625809
Thanks! I really went all out on it.