• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

Admiral Biscuit


The hard life pegasus among stupid bipedal cornstalk


T
Source

The Admiral's second One-Shot-Ober attempt, this time with 80% fewer words! Arranged for your pleasure like a box of chocolates which contains at least one Spring Surprise.

There might be a bonus chapter or two tossed in here just to confuse things. Why? Because I can, that's why.

Now with a reading by AShadowOfCygnus!

Chapters (32)
Comments ( 391 )

This is the main reason why if I ever became immortal I would tell nobody.

Erm, not quite sure what to say.

Poor Fluttershy covered in pandas:facehoof:

After those fees sending them to moon was the nicest places she could have sent it, imagine if it had been Titan!

6492005

This is the main reason why if I ever became immortal I would tell nobody.

Agreed.

6492007
I won't admit that I have. Okay, yes I did.

6492011
Seriously, their room service rates were outrageous. That's where I got the idea for the story.

6492032

Poor Fluttershy covered in pandas

I don't know if she'd actually be upset by that. (at least, not until she discovered the source of the pandas)

These were quite good. . .

Thanks :heart:

6492047

After those fees sending them to moon was the nicest places she could have sent it,

Very true.

If you can't draw it as a comic, then this is the next best thing. Third story almost threw me for a loop before I caught on to the joke. Good way to pass the time.

Highest meme density per word of any chapter on the site?

6492145
:pinkiehappy:

6492167

Third story almost threw me for a loop before I caught on to the joke.

I've actually thought about doing a proper lipogram, but that's a lot of work.

6492168
6492198

Highest meme density per word of any chapter on the site?

It just might be, actually.*

I'd thought about doing this story once the fifth or sixth variation of that story showed up, then I forgot, then I scrolled past yet another version of it right after I posted this and knew what I had to do.

__________________________________
*Unless you count Canonical Mute Vinyl Scratch Breaks Up With Fanon Muteavia.

The most fun part is knowing exactly which "Sandwich Shop" she is talking about, on account of having been there and all that. And the Hyatt is totally the rich fancy hotel so being super gougey makes doublesense.

I'd forsooth find any additional writings on any additional tribulations of litratur apprciation month most grand. Such amusing antics as Discord might bring about in pursuit of its most strict fulfilling shouldn't fail to charm.

6492217

but that's a lot of work.

It is, if you wish to prohibit a symbol such as . (In fact, I'm lucky "Admiral Biscuit" contains no , or I couldn't link that post.) Not-so-common symbols such as x or z allow you to lipogram with not so much work.

Also, it looks as though lipogrammatic writing naturally brings a bit of an archaic air to your words. That upshot is most intriguing.

Have I ever told you about my idea for Pinkie's attempt at live-action Pin the Tail on the Pony? I get the distinct feeling I have. This chapter very much reminds me of it.

Big Mac's Dick is Made of Pandas

Oh god, no, I wasn't aware of that one. It makes perfect sense! Is it bad that I actually want to see this scene in its entirety just for the :rainbowlaugh:? I can imagine the look on Big Mac's face...

Tomorrow was schεulεd to bε onomatopoεia day.

You'rε... going to writε that, right? :rainbowderp:

Okay, just how much, exactly, did you fork over for your room? :trixieshiftright:

6492731

I hop h dos; it would b compltly, absolutly, awsom.

Flying to the moon in a museum piece is a terrifying thought. Wait, did no one notice when the hotel disappeared?

6492400
The room price at the convention rate was actually really reasonable. Room service, not so much.

6493464

Wait, did no one notice when the hotel disappeared?

At the length these stories are, a few plot holes are to be expected. :derpytongue2:

6492712

Have I ever told you about my idea for Pinkie's attempt at live-action Pin the Tail on the Pony?

I think you did. It feels like you did.

Is it bad that I actually want to see this scene in its entirety just for the :rainbowlaugh:?

Yes. You're a terrible person. :trollestia:

Tomorrow was schεulεd to bε onomatopoεia day.

You'rε... going to writε that, right? :rainbowderp:

If I can think of a clever way to do it. My initial thought is that would be something better suited to YouTube (or even a reading, hmm).

Okay, just how much, exactly, did you fork over for your room?

It was actually quite reasonable, because of the convention rate. At a non-convention rate, they're $250 per night or more (according to Google).

6492459
I did think of doing it with some letter that nobody would miss, but where would the fun be in that?
Actually, that was one of the other possible jokes. Mostly nopony notices, but some pony who has that particular letter in her name.

Also, it looks as though lipogrammatic writing naturally brings a bit of an archaic air to your words.

Especially when done right :pinkiehappy:

I did sort of notice it in mine, with all the 'ed words becoming -d words, thought about putting that little apostrophe in there and it would have been like poetry. Terrible poetry.

6493066
No promises.

6493443
Thank you. Thank you for giving me the setup.

6493538
Hah, that's also a fun possibility; I don't know which I think would turn out most amusing. (So add it too for comparison!)

I did think about contracting away parts of said d formation, but that isn't fitting of any lipogrammatic spirit. You ought to do this sort of thing fairly!

And unsurprisingly, it looks as though doing additional lippogramming is boosting my writing quality. This try almost looks normal! Mayhap I should switch up what to avoid in any following posts....

Is this referencing that excellent fic where Fluttershy puts forth the hypothetical that she's a changeling?

I liked that one.

Glad you finally found a reason to post this. :raritywink:

Though, next year, to make it up to them, we should actually order the room service.

6493846
Well, I've never ordered room service before...

This is insane. This is stupid. This has clearly passed a point of no return where it descends and descends and just gets worse and worse.

And I want more of it.

6493617
Dang, you make it look easy. Maybe I should write a story where I do it right. :derpytongue2:

6493782

Er, what?

In the Big Mac story, his dick was literally made of a stack of pandas, and each time he got off, so did a panda.

Is this referencing that excellent fic where Fluttershy puts forth the hypothetical that she's a changeling?

Yes, but more the dozen or so others that came after that one.

6494589

This has clearly passed a point of no return where it descends and descends and just gets worse and worse.
And I want more of it.

Thanks!

To ad lib on the classic line from Ghost Busters, Don't Cross the Meme's!

6495518
Too late.
(Besides, I already did that with Twilight Eats Sonata's Taco and Sonata Grabs Twilight's Peaches)

Twilight and Fluttershy...

Would it matter if I wasn't?
Would it matter if you were?
Would it matter if Celestia joined us?
Would it matter if Braeburn was watching us?
Would you try to stop your eyelid from twitching like that?

6494903
I approve. When should we plan on seeing your version?

While e may be more common, I so far find avoiding more annoying. E is mainly in words which can be replaced by synonyms, while is very common in pronouns and such: "i", "o", "bu", "ha", "no", and so on. (While "he" has an e as well as a , e is elsewise in far fewer, and as such is less of a pain in said regard.) Making your scrivenings work properly while avoiding use of requires much more reordering of your original plans.

And yes, I'm fudging some - responding requires doing so, considering your name includes a . Alas....

6494903 oh, I understand that part. Still, my response is the same

The flipbook idea was suggested by a fellow actress. I said, "What would you do after making a bunch of photocopies of your butt?" She said, "If you moved around, you could make a flipbook."

6495873

Twilight and Fluttershy...
Would it matter if I wasn't?
Would it matter if you were?
Would it matter if Celestia joined us?
Would it matter if Braeburn was watching us?
Would you try to stop your eyelid from twitching like that?

Well, if I get desperate enough to keep beating a dead horse, you'll be seeing one (or more!) of these.

6495875
Peaches are sweet, too. Just sayin'.

6496953

I approve. When should we plan on seeing your version?

Well, I could make you a promise, but I'd wind up breaking it. Not for a while, if ever, unless I get super lazy and write something without the letter "x" and claim it's a lipogram even though we'd both know that it was nothing but pure coincidence that it turned out as such. Certainly, no earlier than the end of the upcoming play. (Actually, does it count as a lipogram if it doesn't have commas? Because that's something I probably should aspire to.)

6497865

oh, I understand that part. Still, my response is the same

Fair enough.
The truth is I asked Maijin if I could write it and he said yes, so I pretty much had to.

6499874

had to click "IT" cute...

Everybody has to click it. That's why it's there :derpytongue:
(I actually put a rickroll in one story)

I love how you've got drawings for every reply!
:heart:

I decry that link as false advertising and demand a refund!

Click for Lunabutt!

You lie!

6500043

Well, it is Luna,and she is being a butt.

Not as much as the author, though. :trollestia:

6500036 6500043 6500058
Were y'all expecting me to link to a NSFW Luna image? For shame! Haven't y'all learned from when I rickrolled my audience in Scootaloo and Celestia: Adventures in Twilight's Gall Bladder? (<---Shameless self-promotion)
[Protip: watch the video instead of reading it (<--more shameless self-promotion)].

EDIT: Highlight the line just under the link (in the story). Just sayin'.

Funny, but this seems a bit mean and frankly horrifying for a prank by Pinkie Pie. I just can't see Pinkie Pie ever setting up a prank that would actually harm any of her friends, immortality notwithstanding.
HiddenMaster out

6500181
Well, if it helps (and it probably doesn't), when I read the story which inspired this, I imagined the beheading being fatal.

I agree that it's unlikely to be a Pinkie Pie prank, even if Twilight is immortal (especially because IIRC, she was the one who wouldn't let RD prank Fluttershy). But the thought still amused me, so. . . .

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