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Admiral Biscuit


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I'd wanted to see a movie, but Fuchsia had to work at Miss Cheerilee's farm stacking hay in the hayloft. Like a fool, I volunteered to help. How hard could it be?

Ha. Not only are hay bales heavy, but hay goes everywhere. Luckily, once we'd finished work, Miss Cheerilee let us cool off in her pond.


An Equestira Girls Fic
an entry for Nudists and Nudity's Naked Fall prompt.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 48 )

Alright, admiral. I'll bite.

I'm rather surprised that Cheerilee owns a farm.

6475425
It's more of a hobby farm than anything. I got the idea 'cause one of my ex-girlfriend's professors had a hobby farm, which is where I had the dubious pleasure of helping to unload three wagonloads of hay one late summer afternoon.

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A rather expensive hobby for someone who seems to be a high school teacher, *shrug* whatever is needed for the story. I suppose it's just as well she didn't join them at the pond, that could have caused a few problems.

A pleasant little slice of life.

I have no idea who the protagonist is supposed to be.

Unsurprisingly, Sunset has zero nudity taboo.

Tree Hugger had the best bit of imagery connected to her, with the dreadlocks/kraken line.

The closing lines about freedom and prisoners felt a bit trite, to be honest.

6475458
Y'know, someone should explore that some more. Sunset not having a nudity taboo and all that. I'd do it myself, but I've got enough on my plate as it is.

Not bad
Loved the gradual acceptance of being nude around others. Nude is the best way to be.

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The closing lines about freedom and prisoners felt a bit trite, to be honest.

I kind of thought that was intentional - showing that the narrator doesn't really know what to think, and is falling back on cliche-ish statements to help piece his thoughts together. If nothing else, it demonstrates that he wasn't kidding about not knowing what to say: "Everything that came to mind felt trite, so I decided to remain silent."

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A pleasant little slice of life.

:heart:

I have no idea who the protagonist is supposed to be.

That's intentional.

Unsurprisingly, Sunset has zero nudity taboo.

That, and other things, were the subject of a bit of discussion which may factor in a story or two further down the line.

Tree Hugger had the best bit of imagery connected to her, with the dreadlocks/kraken line.

I think I was listening to the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack during that scene.

The closing lines about freedom and prisoners felt a bit trite, to be honest.

I may yet go back and work on the conclusion a bit. I actually wasn't all that satisfied with it myself, but I couldn't think of anything better.

If you've never unloaded a hay wagon . . . don't. It sucks.

True, dat. Did a summer working for my grandfather, a sorta-retired stonemason in a small town. There were a couple of days he loaned me out to a couple of farmers. Busted my ass on those jobs... I sometimes suspect that his true motive was to get me to go to school and find a desk job. (Not entirely sure it worked out according to his plan, but Forensics is mostly a desk job... aside from the morgues and the crime scenes, at least...)

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Y'know, someone should explore that some more. Sunset not having a nudity taboo and all that.

I've got one other planned story where it sort of factors in. It's a few slots down in the queue still.

I can't think of any other story where it's been done, but I wouldn't mind seeing it.

6475750

Loved the gradual acceptance of being nude around others. Nude is the best way to be.

Agreed.

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I kind of thought that was intentional - showing that the narrator doesn't really know what to think, and is falling back on cliche-ish statements to help piece his thoughts together.

Yeah, that is what I was going for; I'm just not sure I got it quite the way I wanted to.

6475789

it demonstrates that he wasn't kidding about not knowing what to say: "Everything that came to mind felt trite, so I decided to remain silent."

That's the joke at my expense.

Yeah, throwing hay sucks. I've got an uncle who started keeping goats after he retired a few years ago, and my father and I usually help him when he gets hay. Yes, the hay gets EVERYWHERE. The first few times (before he got a hay elevator) I would stand in the bed of a pickup and throw them over my head into the hayloft, which was a workout. Fortunately, it was only seventy or eighty bales at a time, and I'm used to doing a lot of heavy lifting at work, so it was more a matter of getting hot and sweaty rather than tired and sore. :ajsleepy:

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Tree Hugger had the best bit of imagery connected to her, with the dreadlocks/kraken line.

Which immediately made me think of the Geico commercial. :moustache:

6475833 I actually thought that "Maybe Admiral is obfuscating the identify of the narrator because it is (gasp) the Admiral himself?"

Then I shook my head. No way. Clearly I missed some hint or identifying clue in the text.

I felt betrayed after reading the blog post for this story and learning it was a self-insert all along!

Actually I didn't feel anything at all.:raritywink:

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Yeah, throwing hay sucks. I've got an uncle who started keeping goats after he retired a few years ago, and my father and I usually help him when he gets hay. Yes, the hay gets EVERYWHERE.

It's everywhere. It's in my raccoon wounds.

Seriously, though, the only job I've ever done that came close was when I worked in a styrofoam factory. At least that didn't itch.

Fortunately, it was only seventy or eighty bales at a time, and I'm used to doing a lot of heavy lifting at work, so it was more a matter of getting hot and sweaty rather than tired and sore.

Luckily, when I had to do it was when I was working as a GS at Firestone, and one of my jobs was tossing tires up to the second level of the storeroom. So I also wasn't completely beat at the end of the day. Just soaked in sweat, and covered in hay. (seriously, how does so much of it find its way into your underwear?)

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I actually thought that "Maybe Admiral is obfuscating the identify of the narrator because it is (gasp) the Admiral himself?"

Dammit, he's on to me.

I felt betrayed after reading the blog post for this story and learning it was a self-insert all along!
Actually I didn't feel anything at all.:raritywink:

Great story, I liked it a lot. :twilightsmile:

“You want some gloves?” Sunset asked as I swung the bale around.
I shook my head.

He's gonna regret that.

Tree Hugger—who was still wearing a shirt. I had mixed feelings about that.

:rainbowlaugh:

“It's just the same as wearing a bathing suit,” I reminded her.

No, no its not. He deserves a smack. A light smack, but still a smack to the back of the head. :twilightsmile:

I know exactly the lack of joy that comes from hay... Except our baler left them on the ground too, so we first had to follow the tractor and pick up the bales that were dropped by the baler, and then toss them up to the hayrack, then stack them, and THEN... then we got to do the part in the story! :eeyup:

  FOREV  EVERYWHERE!!! :pinkiegasp:

What happened with Cloudy Kicks? It jumps from him wondering what's going through her head to Fuchsia challenging him to a race. I could assume she joined them in their nudity, but I'm still curious about her reaction.

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He's gonna regret that.

Yeah, I should've followed up on that line of thought. :derpytongue2:

“It's just the same as wearing a bathing suit,” I reminded her.

No, no its not. He deserves a smack. A light smack, but still a smack to the back of the head. :twilightsmile:

It's vaguely the same. At least in terms of coverage.

6478738

I know exactly the lack of joy that comes from hay.

The glory of farm work. I'm so glad I don't have to do it on a regular basis.

6485088

What happened with Cloudy Kicks? It jumps from him wondering what's going through her head to Fuchsia challenging him to a race. I could assume she joined them in their nudity, but I'm still curious about her reaction.

Tree Hugger convinced her while the narrator and Fuchsia were at the other side of the pond.

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There were a couple of days he loaned me out to a couple of farmers. Busted my ass on those jobs... I sometimes suspect that his true motive was to get me to go to school and find a desk job.

That would be a pretty powerful motivator.

Thanks to my promotion, I've got more of a desk job now than I ever have, and I'm not sure I like it. It's a lot more fun to be back in the shop, breaking things.

6487915

It's vaguely the same. At least in terms of coverage.

I will agree in the terms of cloth side coverage. The main difference is, swimsuits are meant to be seen, while undergarments are not. Oh, and lots of undergarments are partly sheer/see through, or lacy... so while the cloth cuts might be the same, hiding visibility is not. :twilightsmile:

6488000

The main difference is, swimsuits are meant to be seen, while undergarments are not. Oh, and lots of undergarments are partly sheer/see through, or lacy

Fashion doesn't make any sense. Why make something all fancy when it's not meant to be seen?

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Well, it is supposed to be seen... just not by all. :raritywink:

6488761
I'd love to see Cassie try to explain that to the ponies.

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It's already a plan.

6674921

So I grabbed the bales and tossed the bales and

Is it supposed to say the bales both places? It works but just in case it's not on purpose.

Yup, to indicate the repetitive nature of the task.

and I watched as they horsed the last few into place.

Horsed? Never heard this turn of phrase before.

None of my pre-readers had, either. Perhaps it's a phrase only used in Michigan or Maryland, or else it's something just my dad says. Anyway, hopefully by context it's obvious what it means :pinkiehappy:

All other corrections made, thank you!

I parked next to her car, shut off the truck, then remembered the windows were down and the slider was open.
Whatever. It's not like anybody's going to steal it. I left the keys in the ignition and got out

I'm sensing the strong presence of a Chekhov's Gun intertwined with a healthy portion of Murphy's law for good measure. :rainbowkiss:

No other guys, though. It was like . . . well, whatever the opposite of a sausage fest is.

I believe the term you are looking for it's harem.:moustache:

“We’re not done yet.”

allthingsd.com/files/2012/02/YOU_DONT_SAY.png
I couldn't have seen that coming. :derpytongue2:

“Did I ever tell you I worked in a restaurant last summer? Before I met you?” She shook her head and I went on. “Yeah. Little hole-in-the-wall place. I was the only guy. The things I heard.”

He got hired as a male waitress! Wow! He must of had an awesome interview to achieve that.:moustache:

Unanswered was the question of why you would want to have sex in the snow, but now I knew that the guy had to be on top to avoid shrinkage issues.

40.media.tumblr.com/d367fce2034338c85cf7871e2d282d97/tumblr_mtghxwBKiE1rzhi55o6_540.jpg
No seriously, I don't know what that means.

I bent down and picked up a bale. Tossed it across. Turned and grabbed another. And another. And another.

And another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and

Another

And another and another and another

And another

And another

And another
And another
And another...

And







Another.:rainbowlaugh:

“You ever been skinny-dipping?”
“No.”
She beckoned with a finger and I leaned in. “Do you want to?”

“I should have guessed she wasn't the kind of girl to use a razor,” Fuchsia muttered.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was looking at her bush.

I got three personal flashbacks while reading this.

The first one was of my sixth grade camp where recalling how much my sister had enjoyed herself in the perfume workshop I ended up choosing that and of course got in because being a sixth grader I had priority choice. Little did I know that I would be the only boy in the workshop. (although it seemed like I should have known in hindsight) The camp was located off in the country and to make the perfumes and other vanity supplies we went scavenging for plants with scents and skin properties. It was a really awkward week. One of the girls ended up getting a crush on me and was on my tail from that moment on until I graduated.

The second flashbacks was of the time I got a job in a Hide company and how the salt from the dried hides would fly everywhere and get everywhere (even my eyes *,*) while we tossed them and stakes them in a fast pace, and how unpleasant I felt the day we had to do a huge trunk among four people, it was over ten hours of work. We worked from dawn to dusk. By the end I was sore, scratched, filthy and awww so hungry.

If you've never unloaded a hay wagon . . . don't. It sucks.

I can safely say that loading a hide truck is worst.

The third one was the time in which I was ten and I was alone in the pool, which was practically empty as the sun had already set awhile back; and three girls came over smiling and hair soaked and surround me in one corner of the pool then begin to chat with me asking me question about myself, who I was, what things I liked, and other things like that. I was just so embarrassed. I was underwater mere inches away from three girls and I just wanted to get out and go to the bathroom; but... the girls... they wouldn't let me.

I have lived a full life.

~Leonzilla

6889332

Whatever. It's not like anybody's going to steal it. I left the keys in the ignition and got out

I'm sensing the strong presence of a Chekhov's Gun intertwined with a healthy portion of Murphy's law for good measure.

Nope, 'fraid not. It's a living-in-the-country thing. All four cars in my driveway have the keys in the ignition right now.

I believe the term you are looking for it's harem.:moustache:

I won't tell you what my first thought was.

He got hired as a male waitress! Wow! He must of had an awesome interview to achieve that.

Or the restaurant was desperate to find help that would work for $4.00/hour cash under the table.

Unanswered was the question of why you would want to have sex in the snow, but now I knew that the guy had to be on top to avoid shrinkage issues.

No seriously, I don't know what this means.

Hmm, hard to answer without being overly graphic or using a NSFW link. Think of a part of the male anatomy which is important for having sex but might shrink or shrivel up when it's cold.

I got three personal flashbacks while reading this.

:heart:
The majority of the story was autobiographical, although I mixed together a few elements.

I have lived a full life.

Not until you've been gunned down by the cops.

If you've never unloaded a hay wagon . . . don't. It sucks.

I can safely say that loading a hide truck is worst.

Yes, I can see how it would be.

Nope, 'fraid not. It's a living-in-the-country thing. All four cars in my driveway have the keys in the ignition right now.

Then you have violated Chekhov's law, shame on you.

Also missed opportunity.:ajsmug:

I won't tell you what my first thought was.

Did it have something to do with tacos?

Or the restaurant was desperate to find help that would work for $4.00/hour cash under the table.

I can see that happening.:twilightsheepish:

Still better than stacking hay am I right? :derpytongue2:

Hmm, hard to answer without being overly graphic or using a NSFW link. Think of a part of the male anatomy which is important for having sex but might shrink or shrivel up when it's cold.

Oh.

Ooooooooooooohhh I get it now. :rainbowlaugh:

The majority of the story was autobiographical, although I mixed together a few elements.

You have done a lot of stuff yourself I'm sure.:moustache:

I have lived a full life.

Not until you've been gunned down by the cops.

Or the military.:trollestia:

Liked and faved. Sometimes tweaked autobiographies are the best stories.

I'm loving the fact that you can write these things all centering around nudity beautifully without it evolving into clop, which it does about, say, 120% of the time. It's refreshing and a brilliant read. You have my favorite and upvote, in a heartbeat :twilightsmile:

Somehow I missed this being published. Brings back some fond memories of working on a farm. Yea they hay sucked, but... Well, there were a lot of good aspects to it too. Sometimes regret the office job.


And another. And another... And another.... Only thing worse than unloading hay is unloading it when you're allergic.

7291713
Hey, what you doin' here?

If you've never unloaded a hay wagon . . . don't. It sucks.

Too late: spent 20+ years pitching bales ya wuss. :rainbowwild:

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Too late: spent 20+ years pitching bales ya wuss. :rainbowwild:

Have you gotten all the chaff out yet? :derpytongue2:

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Nah, there's still days where the cattle still chase me afterward. It's like catnip to 'em! :rainbowlaugh:

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Nah, there's still days where the cattle still chase me afterward. It's like catnip to 'em! :rainbowlaugh:

They’re probably wondering why their hay is running away from them.

It had seemed like a fun idea—well, at least not a bad idea—when I'd suggested it at school, but now my sweat-soaked shirt was cold and clammy, my arms were sore, and I was pretty sure there was chaff in my underwear.

spoken like a first time hay field worker. actually reminds me of the times when I was young in my uncles field <not fun>

thinking I could look up the weight of a haybale when I got home.

it varies from twenty to forty pounds for the rectangle bails
to Hundreds for the rolls

9496019
been there done that I agree it sucks :rainbowwild:

7291713
Agreed, it is indeed a pretty rare story that can do this nice balancing act, and honestly, I might be a guy and have my fair share of daydreams, but actually being there would be all kinds of awkward.

Also, I am now reconsidering if I would like to spend a day with AJ and family or not... a number of years ago, I helped a friend of the family out on her small hobby farm a few hours a day for a week or so, it's more or less a vegetable farm with a few chickens and ducks than anything and I remember building up a nice farmer's tan and a solid coat of sweat, I have a hard time imagining my current self doing a full day's farm work, the closest I've been to this sort of situation is helping out or taking part in hayrack rides.

10255750

Agreed, it is indeed a pretty rare story that can do this nice balancing act, and honestly, I might be a guy and have my fair share of daydreams, but actually being there would be all kinds of awkward.

It is, but it gets to feel more normal after a while (well, depending on circumstances)

Also, I am now reconsidering if I would like to spend a day with AJ and family or not... a number of years ago, I helped a friend of the family out on her small hobby farm a few hours a day for a week or so, it's more or less a vegetable farm with a few chickens and ducks than anything and I remember building up a nice farmer's tan and a solid coat of sweat, I have a hard time imagining my current self doing a full day's farm work, the closest I've been to this sort of situation is helping out or taking part in hayrack rides.

I feel the same way. I won’t lie and say that she’s my favorite pony, becuase she isn’t, but at the same time, I also work a physical job and feel the most professional connection to her. It’s a lot of work, and volunteering to help might be absurdly foolish. I can say with somewhat recent experience (well, more than a decade now), unloading hay wagons sucks. Picking apples isn’t so bad, though (although it’s been more than 20 years since I’ve done that).

Since we’re on the theme of humans in Equestria, though, my personal belief is that the best way to be accepted would be to work with earth ponies. I feel that as long as you put up a good effort, they’d appreciate that.

10765862
Skinny dipping after haying is the right way to do it.

Oh jeez, spiky stuff in all the spaces definitely sounds unfun. ><

Here's to self-insert fics ;)

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