Luna versus the Photocopier
Luna versus the Photocopier
Admiral Biscuit
Night Court was boring. That was a fact. Ponies preferred doing important things during the day.
Luna was bored. That was an inevitable consequence of the first fact.
Like the moon, Luna's moods waxed and waned; currently, she was in a playful mood. She had left one of her thestrals guarding the throne in case anypony showed up, while she herself had absconded from the throne room to explore the antechambers which surrounded it in the hopes of finding something that might provide entertainment.
It was not too long before she discovered the secretary's office. The door had been locked, but a Princess of the Night observes much, including how to pick locks. Between dreamers and personal observation (not all the ponies who were about at night had wholesome motivations for being about) she had more or less the required skills and more or less the required tools, and if there were some scratches and slivers left on the lock, who would dare accuse the younger Diarch?
Her eyes lit upon a device which she had never seen before. It was a large box, nearly the size of a pony, and it said Xerox on the front. She vaguely remembered a Greek philosopher who had had that name, and was curious about what sort of office device he had philosophized.
Poking around the machine provided no meaningful clues. It had trays on the bottom which held paper, and underneath the lid was a glass plate with various delicate-looking gears and wires contained beneath. She shrugged, and pushed the green button labeled “Start.”
The machine made a strange humming noise, and a moment later, a ribbon of blinding white light shot out of the glass and progressed across it, turning off when it reached the far side. Seconds later, an all-black sheet of paper came out of a tray at the bottom.
She blinked the spots of light out of her eyes and looked warily at the machine. Surely, its function had to be more complex than simply turning a white sheet of paper black. A toaster could do that, and it wasn't nearly as large.
Closer examination of the Xerox revealed helpful little icons, including one which showed a sheet of paper with writing upon it face-down on the glass. A quick survey of the secretary's desk netted her a sheet of paper which probably had little value if it were somehow destroyed by the machine. She put it on the glass and hit “Start.”
Unsurprisingly, a perfect copy came out, since that is the function of a photocopier. Luna looked at it in wonder and then looked around the office for what else she might photocopy. Inevitably, she eventually became bored of routine objects and determined to find out what else it could copy. Equally inevitably, she hit upon the idea of photocopying herself, and—as usually happens when one decides to photocopy one's own anatomy—it was not too long before she plopped her perfect pony princess plot on the glass and hit the start button.
The resulting image was all she could have hoped for. Never before had she seen her own hindquarters (cameras, mirrors, and reflective surfaces had been invented while she was on the moon), and it was a shame. It was worthy of adoration; nay, it was worthy of worship. It was also worthy of a whole ream of paper and she would have gone through two but the photocopier ran out of toner.
The Next Morning
Luna proudly set a stack of papers down on the breakfast table, right next to her bleary-eyed sister. Celestia floated the top sheet in her aura and gave it a cursory examination before her eyebrow jumped up into her mane and her cheeks turned bright red.
“Luna?” she squeaked.
“Yes, sister?” Luna leaned forward in anticipation.
“Is that a picture of your butt?”
“Yes.”
Celestia looked at the stack of papers and began shuffling through them. “Are these . . . are these all pictures of your butt?”
Luna's eager grin was answer enough.
“Why? In the name of all that is holy, why did you make so many copies? Were you planning to leaflet Canterlot?”
“Even better!” Luna leaned forward and grabbed the stack, holding it just in front of her sister's muzzle. “I made a flip-book!”
“Did you . . . wink?”
“. . . maybe.”
“I think I'm going to be sick.”
Click for Lunabutt!
suckers
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The flipbook idea was suggested by a fellow actress. I said, "What would you do after making a bunch of photocopies of your butt?" She said, "If you moved around, you could make a flipbook."
had to click "IT" cute...
orig05.deviantart.net/ddc1/f/2015/278/1/a/spikes_gems_2_by_hillbe-d9c40ul.jpg
img06.deviantart.net/b0ec/i/2015/268/2/2/at_the_beach_by_hillbe-d9aua2g.jpg
6499874
Everybody has to click it. That's why it's there :derpytongue:
(I actually put a rickroll in one story)
I love how you've got drawings for every reply!
I decry that link as false advertising and demand a refund!
You lie!
6500043
Well, it is Luna,and she is being a butt.
Not as much as the author, though.
6500036 6500043 6500058
Were y'all expecting me to link to a NSFW Luna image? For shame! Haven't y'all learned from when I rickrolled my audience in Scootaloo and Celestia: Adventures in Twilight's Gall Bladder? (<---Shameless self-promotion)
[Protip: watch the video instead of reading it (<--more shameless self-promotion)].
EDIT: Highlight the line just under the link (in the story). Just sayin'.
When you say Luna "winked"........
you mean she winked he eyes at Celestia as she handed over the flipbook, right? right?
6500221
I leave that to the reader.
6499925 exactly!
6500441 and I just realised that this was no longer the same chapter, shame on us!
On a real note, it seems we really need to explore the magic that is a photocopier, so many times this butt-copying is mentioned, it must be entertaining somehow, right?
Right now I am wondering what Dotted Line is going to say when he finds his photocopier out of toner, paper, and with Moonbutt marks on the glass...
6500767
I've heard it's entertaining. I've also heard it breaks a lot of photocopiers: they're not meant to be sat upon. I have never tried it.
6501014
What can he say? Best thing to do would be requisition a second photocopier for the princess' personal use.
6499925
When does your upcoming play end?
Perhaps you should begin by lipogramming your responses here. Doing so seems good for improving your skill, and should give you an idea of when you'll be ready for a full go.
While I'm dubious avoiding commas makes for a proper lipogram, I could see such as an added challenge for one you're already doing. Perhaps I should do so in an upcoming response.... Of course, changing symbols again will likely be necessary - commas appear very nearly required for non-horrible form while avoiding words, and any endeavor of combined avoidance would probably end up hideously incomprehensible.
WHY BISCUIT WHY
That last tiny lines
You utter bastard, hah
6503944
Sunday, Oct. 25.
I ought to. I typically don't put major thought into rough drafts; I just blurt out words and fix things in first drafts. It's a situation of pacing, you know? That's how I do it. If I slow down, I'm apt to drop my thoughts . . . but it is a worthy goal to work towards. Mayhap I can do it right if I try hard.
I'm having fun figuring out what you aren't using.
6504229
BECAUSE IT WAS THERE
6500234
Gross...
I love it.
what XD
6677816
Just picture Luna's perfect pony princess posterior and all will be well.
6500091
I, reading in High Contrast Dark, am immune to this kind of trickery
(Actually, in High Contrast Dark, most text is actually white, so I didn't even realise there was meant to be a trick. Hich Contrast Dark is like X-ray vision for formatting trickery.)
6500091 I find the lack of Rick Astley disappointing rather than the lack of lunabutt, I don't actually mind his music.
Suckers
9516936
