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Maud Pie and Captain Kirk go on a date in Ponyville. It goes as well as you can imagine.
Bronycon special! Brought to you by Admiral Biscuit (that's me!) and AShadowOfCygnus with the assistance of Shachza. Unedited! Un-proofread!
Cover image by AShadowOfCygnus
Audio Reading by AShadowOfCygnus
Feature box, here we come!
If this gets enough upvotes, I'll add the sex scene. 
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Heh it goes to show that Kirk will do any female that takes his eye and has a pulse.
lol..rocky mountain oysters!
and should have gone with a hoors light since a lot of people say that it tastes like horse piss
6300345
Implying Budweiser doesn't?
There, was. Not enough em. Phasis on, Shatner's. Words. It did not sound, enough. Like Shatner.
6300392
it might have come out better in the video...
Oh god damn it...
~Skeeter The Lurker
6300402 then I will be sure to check out the audio reading when I am not at church.
Even writing that comment was difficult. Shatner's speaking style is hard to replicate in the written word.
Is it by Dickens with two k's?
No one shall get that reference.
Set phasers to confusion.
6300331
Not the first time I've used that joke, either.
6300345
What other kind of oysters would they serve at the Hard Rock cafe?
6300404
I blame the shipping panel.
6300416
I've done it before. Didn't do it here, because I knew we were reading it first, and I didn't actually think it would be long enough to publish. I might go through and change that tonight. Or I might not.
6300491
No, with four ms and a silent q.
6300496
They go together like gasoline and matches.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lubj8wr50i1qkaf2yo1_500.png
6300678
Well, there are a lot of oysters out there, each with their own unique shape, their own succulent taste, and in some, you can easily see the pearl, while you have to dig around for others....you know what i mean right *wink* *wink*
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Downvoting now.
That was definitely something.
6300331 Especially if she's not a human skin tone. Good ol' Kirk.
I am amused. Thought it could've used more dramatic pauses in Shatner's lines near the end, but that's the only blemish. Thanks for the laughs.
8/10 Needs more crack
--IGN
All humor aside, you definitely need an editor. I can serve if you'd like.
Best fic ever.
I don't understand this story at all.
6300688
From the archives of Paramount Studios, circa 1969...
MEMO
FROM: William Shatner
TO: Gene Rodenberry
RE: This week's script
Gene -
Are you Eff'ing KIDDING me??!?!???
- Bill
-----------------------------------------------------------
MEMO
FROM: Gene Rodemberry
TO: William Shatner
RE: This week's script
Bill -
EEEYUP/EEEYNOPE
Trolololol,
- Gene
6301551
6301625
I hadn't initially intended to publish this story--didn't think I'd make the word count. It was meant only as the script for the collaborative audio reading we did (which is linked in the description, and you should check it out: I did Kirk's voice). That's why it wasn't spellchecked, and why the pauses mostly weren't written in.
Once I get back from Bronycon, I may go back and fix those things. Except for the misspelling of Kirk--Cygnus read it as spelled.
6300740
I am picking up what you are putting down.
6300980
But it would only be a 5 to 8 second sex scene....
6302004
LOL
6302113
Neither do I.
6302166
Shatner would totally do this. In a heartbeat.
"Khan." said Maud
6302410
Both my collaborators wanted me to put Shatner saying "Mauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud!!!!!" in it somewhere, and I completely forgot to do so.
6302347
That is 5 to 8 seconds too much of reading about William Shatner banging a miniature horse.
6302421
Oh, you dick, now I really am downvoting this.
6302357 Amen, Wouldn't he JUST do that? And if Gene were a Brony, wouldn't he JUST reply like that?
The real question is, where was Boulder?
Did Maud end up between a rock and a hard place?
Loved the references of Carli with an I, and Ethyl the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying.
6302793 he was there; Maud got a small cup and shared her wine with him. Which was a risky thing to do because last time he drank, he caused such a ruckus that they had to leave.
6303510
I know Boulder was on the date, I was thinking of the activities afterwards...
Was Maud between a rock and a space ace?
If it was after Wrath Of Khan and he was still grieving for Spock, she might have been between a rock and a basket case.
If he liked to improvise puppets with his uniform, she might be between a rock and a sock's face.
I can't recall if Kirk is religious. She might have wound up between a rock and a rendition of Amazing Grace.
I'd better stop now, or I might be hit with a mod's mace...
You beautiful creature, admiral. You mad, beautiful, creature.
6302793
He was sitting in Maud's frock. Boulder's seen some terrible things. That's why he drinks.
6303395
Thanks!
6305291
The worst part is some of the other ideas I came up with at Bronycon. We're talking potentially another one-shot-ober worth of ideas. (No, I'm not going to do one-shot-ober again.)
6305609 holy crap. That was almost a year ago.
What the hell, time?
6305634
I know. Hard to believe.
Speaking of One-Shot-Ober, AShadowOfCygnus just uploaded (Thursday) the last of the One-Shot-Ober fics. I hadn't blogged about it yet, but i'm about to.
I finally have read this.
It is everything I thought it would be. Take that as you will, Biscuit.
Take that as you will.
Not enough Kirt being Kirt. But it was nice
Half expected there to be a joke about them passing by a couple of whales in a tank on the ship,
I'll give you that there wasn't any use of the word "Khan" anywhere, so you get a like simply on that.
6305634
Time gave us the finger and whizzed right by, heh
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