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David Silver


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Sequels3

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This story is a sequel to Every Cloud has a Silver Lining


Silver Lining, now wielding a cutie mark and an insatiable desire to learn and codify magic, has graduated from grade school and now faces the challenges of a magic academy as a young adult. This former-human is learning his place in Equestria.

With his cutie mark earned, once David, now Silver Lining is eager to learn true magic and unlock its mysteries. Entering a new school, with most of his old friends departed for more practical jobs, Silver will have to rely on Celine(a miniature copy of Luna), and Night Watch(A bat pony/lunar pegasus) to steer him right as he enters the next phase of pony life as a young adult.

Will he survive his college years? Let's find out!

Chapters (288)
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Comments ( 6192 )

Wow. Lyra didn't even let him explain and immediately thought he was lying. I really hope she checks that attitude and fast, or she's going to be on a very short list of ponies that tick me off.

5735332 Bad Lyra, bad! Hopefully future chapters will shed more light on this development. Welcome to the new story! Hope you're settling in nicely.

5735349 It was a little hard to find, actually. I only discovered that the sequel was out through the "Also liked" sidebar.

Celine, the smaller, younger, version of Luna, sat patiently, hovering a satchel full of things just behind her.

You don't need that many commas!!
Celine, the smaller younger version of Luna, sat patiently hovering a satchel full of things just behind her.
--

bird and horse parts fought for dominance as he stared intently.

Capitalise the b in Bird for starting a sentence.
--

Onto the next Chapter!!

5735364 Fixes applied. You're the first fixer of the new story! Thanks.

Instead of trying to wedge fingers under the heavy weight, he wrapped his magic around it , then contracted it until it was beneath the weight entirely.

You have an extra space there.
--

A shrill whistle sounded from he horn as magic escaped.

the
--

Silver opened his mouth to complain but Lyra's magic clamped his snout shout,

Shout needs to be shut and you also need a period at the end instead of a comma.

5735434 Yeppers. Can't wait for the next chapters.
Everytime I'm on break for work its seems like you update the story more.

Comment posted by Damaged deleted Mar 14th, 2015

5735364
5735368
I'd roll it like that

Celine, the smaller, younger version of Luna, sat patiently, hovering a satchel full of things just behind her.

5735434 adding the small chapter to previous story with link to this one will help. Or maybe adding the link in the previous story description.

the first chapter let me with my eyes leaking liquid pride, in both silver and the new story. I am supper happy to see a new story in this grate series.
and wow Lyra never even gave him a chance to explain? so either she knows something or who know what the or code be.???
Harts Fire

Poor Silver, doesn't believe him due to either his percieved age or inexperience xD

Celine, the smaller younger version of Luna, sat patiently hovering a satchel full of things just behind her.

Nataniel is right, in that you need something creating a break between "smaller" and "younger." You can either add a comma there, or simply put in an "and."

Celine perked an ear, "You took leaving behind your human family pretty well."

Night perked a tufted ear, "Human family?"

The fact that you're using the phrase "perked an ear" (even if one is tufted) twice in a row requires some sort of narrative recognition of the repetition. Night's sentence should be "Now it was Night's turn, one of her tufted ears perking up."

There just doesn't exist technology of the like, to say nothing of the other things I found in that desk.

The phrase "There just doesn't exist technology of the like" is awkward in its construction. I'd change that to "Technology like that just doesn't exist."

The 'key board' was obviously not meant for hooves.

I'm trying to figure out if she's deliberately splitting the words up because she's not familiar with the term (e.g. "I certainly am enjoying this so-called 'iced cream.'"), or if this is a genuine error, since "keyboard" is a compound word.

Every pony they passed wore a clearly displayed heart crystal, each with a different color shining from within.

Their heart crystals are "clearly-displayed."

Many were heart shaped, one was a cylinder.

Many were "heart-shaped."

He trotted onwards to the office, leaving a lightly blushing Night Watch behind.

Night Watch is "lightly-blushing." How cute!

They entered the office to find a bored looking secretary

The secretary is "bored-looking."

Well, the back-half of him was a stallion, the front half was a griffon, but where the two met was anything but stable.

No real error here, but if the front half of him was avian, would that make him a "griffon" per se? It sounds like he's turning himself into a hippogriff. Or are we supposed to understand that he's trying to transform himself into a griffon, and can only make it halfway down his body at this point?

"Don't think about it," said Celine, staring at him coldly.

Again, no error here, but what's up with the sudden jealousy? Celine previously didn't mind if a stallion or a mare entered the herd, so why would she suddenly be telling Silver not to stray when she wanted to expand their marriage so badly before?

Also, Fast's teasing of "am I a mare or a stallion?" seems rather transparent - he must be a stallion, since that's what he was when he was trying that complicated griffon-transformation spell. Otherwise he'd be maintaining two changes at once, for no particular reason.

Ah well, maybe some of these are answered in the next chapter (I haven't read it yet).

I like this. Silver would be a most useful ally for Moonfire... Maybe I'll let you in on my plans for my own fic...

Celine appeared half-way to class, wearing her much smaller bag.

"Halfway" is a compound word.

Her horn flashed with an intricate pattern as her forearms swelled with power.

This should be "forelegs."

She grabbed the desk, shoving her hooves under its lip and lifting it off the ground easily a moment before setting it back down.

She lifted it off the ground easily "for" a moment.

"Uh, Silver," corrected Silver, "Silver Lining. You said four? Where's the fourth one?"

Er, no, she never said that, Silver. What she said was "...there are several schools of study." In fact, the word "four" doesn't appear in this fic prior to Silver saying that line.

Silver guessed it was about three and a half, instead of the three the grade school unicorns got.

The new average is "three-and-a-half."

About one fifth of the class raised a hoof, including Celine and Silver.

About "one-fifth" of the class.

One only started expanding rapidly as they arrived.

You really don't need the "only" here.

5736402 Fixes made!

Celine still wants to be the one that picks, so nipping stray thoughts is something she'd do.

Fast Change was currently a hippogriff, but that was not his goal.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

5736456 Fixes applied! A bit for your thoughts, good sir.

So far, things seem off to a decent start. The lack of privacy for a couple, the way Silver and Celine are, seems a bit odd, but it's not worth complaining over, since it allows for the introduction of a new character. Fast Change's status as being on the prowl for companionship has a lot of potential for amusement, as does his/her gender-changing abilities, with all of the fluid sexuality that comes along with it (though as Silver noted, how Fast is able to do that remains an open question).

Things are proceeding slowly, very slowly, with Night Watch's integration with the group. This is a good thing, as the whole "sisterly" dynamic remains a better way of keeping her involved with everyone, while at the same time dropping hints that maybe she could one day become more (e.g. her blushing at Silver's compliment). I'm slightly amused to think of her bellowing "IGNORE ME!" a la the Grand Galactic Inquisitor whenever she tells somepony to pretend that she's not there, though.

Other than that, it's mostly set-up here, so there's not too much to comment on. I suspect that that arrogant unicorn at the beginning might be a bit of foreshadowing regarding the difficulties ahead for Silver, but we'll see how that goes.

5736565 Night Watch is the queen of subtlety. We have a picture of her now! I posted it in the latest chapter! Go look, now! EXCLAMATION POINT!!!

She came out adorably, my compliments to Sita Duncan, our talented Ponyfinder artist. I'll probably stuff her in a Ponyfinder book some day if the right spot crops up.

Back to the chapter! A lot of set-up, yes, and a little summarization for the last chapter. We gently closed that chapter and start the new one. We're not likely to see as much Rough Draft or Trixie this time through, and I will miss them both.

So Lyra returns. Her appearance as a student-teacher at the Academy makes perfect sense for her; the fact that she was walking around on her hind legs is a subtle hint, along with her refusal to use Silver's new name, that she remains as much of a human-fetishist as ever. I wonder if that'll get her in trouble here, since she's likely to want to use what she learns to feed her particular kink. It's also a bit of a surprise that Bon-Bon didn't come with her; surely there's plenty of need for a shop in Canterlot? It's sad to imagine the strain on their relationship by having it kept long-distance for a while. Besides, who'll keep Lyra in line now?

Her insistence that "David" is lying about his fireball spell straddles the line between amusing and irritating. Yes, it seems implausible that such a young colt (and an alien, to boot) could start surging ahead in magical theory and application, but honestly Lyra, you're not exactly a stranger to the fact that typical rules don't really apply to this particular pony.

Beyond that, it's still largely setting the stage. The pieces are being set up, so it'll take some more time before we can see the whole board.

5736581 Her crime was using magic she wasn't rated to use. What more elegant solution than to ensure she knows how to use it safely? Celestia, always looking for the kind answer.

Picking up and moving her store from idyllic Ponyville to snooty Canterlot is a big request! Could she do it, maybe? But it wouldn't be nearly the same. She'd be dealing with a new city and a new client base. We shouldn't be too harsh on Bon Bon for not wanting to face that. She likes making her sweets for the small town of Ponyville, not facing random elite ponies in the city of unicorns. At least no one questions why an earth pony is preparing food in Ponyville.

Huh. Lyra rolled bluff. And it's not war magic Lyra. It's... a really enthusiastic... camping spell! For getting the fire started. With flair. Pizzah. He's Trixie's kid and pupil. Everything must have pizzah. It's in his Kid-Pupil Contract.

Silver glanced along at Celine, and soon they were both moving after Lyra.

The term "glanced along" comes across as rather awkward. I'd changed that to "Silver shared a sidelong glance with Celine, and soon both were moving after Lyra."

I took the symbols related to heat and pressing and played with them until I got it just right."

I'm pretty sure that "pressing" should be "pressure." Also, there are two spaces between that and the subsequent "and."

Celine leaned in close to Silver, whispering, "Does it mean that?"

The "that" isn't obvious insofar as what it means in this sentence. As such, I'd add an ellipsis here to signify the uncertainty. So it'd be "Does it mean that...?"

Night Watch tapped at her chin lightly, "forty percent odds she's hoping Silver will feel bad."

Lyra blinked at Night, "What's the other sixty?"

Night shrugged softly, "Thirty says you're genuinely sad, twenty says you're directing it at me or Celine, but that would be ineffective at best."

That's only another fifty percent. Also, the "Forty" at the beginning of Night Watch's first statement should be capitalized.

Silver suddenly pointed out, "You know Lyra's a huge role playing fan."

"Role-playing" should technically be hyphenated, though it's turned into a compound word often enough that that's becoming acceptable also, but it's not two separate words altogether.

Celine shook her head with wilted ears and Silver moved to nuzzle her frown away, "Don't worry, I'll show you.

Celine's answer surprised me, here. Can't she simply look through Silver's memories?

Knew there was a reason for Lyra doing that. Kinda don't like how... possesive you're making Celine but it's to be expected, I think.

5736627 All fixed! Learning a complex web of facts, that is, a game, would take quite some digging... also she may just want to spend time with Silver, so learning the old fashioned way wouldn't be that bad, would it?

5736657 Hardly a new development, but they've been together for a while now, allowing patterns to deepen a little.

5736755 After somepony said they couldn't get even the start of how Night Watch looked, I had to have her drawn, so here she is.

It's amusing to consider that Lyra is probably the one pony that Celine wouldn't approve of. That's something of an overstatement, since she wants Silver to be happy (and recognizes that he liked Lyra before she ensorcelled him way back), but there's still an element of truth to it. The scene where Celine lost her temper at Lyra ignoring her really put the dynamic between them on display - Celine may consider herself the "first wife" of the group, which she clearly feels gives her some sort of rank over other mares in their herd, but it's equally clear that Lyra couldn't care less about hierarchies or social expectations, and is willing to brush Celine off as being a third wheel. Given that she's part of Luna, I can just see Celine bristling at that treatment.

Night Watch's casual mention that she reported Silver to Princess Luna for researching illegal magic was also a very subtle watershed moment. While she may like Silver, her duty quite clearly comes first. Given that, one wonders how things would go down if there was ever a moment when her duties conflicted with her personal desires. At the moment, duty would clearly win out, but it's still an interesting scenario to ponder.

Sita's artistic skills are on full display with Night Watch's picture - that artwork is incredible! Between the glasses and the "tails" in the front of her mane, she really has the whole "geek girl" thing going on. Her entire portrait, in fact, has a very "busy" feel to it - I mean that in a good way, as there's no part of her doesn't look ornamental, what with her wings, tail, mane, and cutie mark.

ok this chapter is a bit different in a vary good way.
night wing is starting to warm up to silver she only threw him on the ground but I think she enjoyed doing it.
I know she side she was not interested in joining the heard but Celine has her eye on a new mare, how is it.

5737030 Celine has her eyes open, but there are a few mares that Silver seems to have some amount of interest in.

I like the picture of Night Watch :pinkiehappy:

5737064 I really like how she came out.

5736935 Sorry for the massive delay. Today was the Patreon game day which tied me up nicely, and I have another game to run later, arg!

I always look forward to your digging into things. I really liked how Night Watch came out, heck, it's cuter than what was originally in my head. Leave it to a good artist to create a great image! There are some deep sad things that I just realized for the future of the series that really puts Celine's actions in focus a bit, but I don't want to share right here just yet.

Night Watch is warming up to the group dynamic, but does hold her professional self up above any 'fun' she may have with Silver. She is the willing pair of eyes for Luna, and takes that quite seriously.

Lyra is, well, I like Lyra, at least this particular fandom representation of this otherwise unremarkable background pony. She's doing her time, but she's doing it well. She's not the best teacher ever, but she's putting sincere energy into it and trying to do best by the students in her care. I feel like she has grown a bit since last we saw her. I also feel her break from Bon Bon was a part of that growth, of accepting that something painful happened as a result of her own actions.

Fast Change remains a pretty big wild card in the group. Will he/she get more involved, and in what way? We will find out!

She pointed to a pony with a heart-shaped,

a heart-shaped what?

Everyone's a critic. Does that answer your question?

Is Lyra not saying everypony because of Silver or is there a non-pony in class?

Me, enhancer.

I think this should be "I'm an enhancer."

5738233 Lyra is bad at Englishes.

she waggled a hoof, "Which means don't use it as a paper-weight."

Capitalize the "she" at the beginning of the sentence.

Just like channelling practice with your horn, this is an important, if boring, step to becoming totally badass."

Just like "channeling" practice.

Lyra nodded slowly, "That is a very good question that I didn't expect to come up outside of polymorph 101..."

That's the proper name of a specific class, so it should be "Polymorph 101."

she clapped her hooves together twice with satisfying clops, "I expect to see all those stones shining by tomorrow."

Again, capitalize the "she."

Celine pointed at the ribs, "Ponies don't eat that?"

She's not really asking a question here, so you don't really need to end that with a question mark.

It had a lot of flavors he hadn't even realised he missed, but there was a little something off about it.

The use of an "s" in "realize" is typically British; I'd recommend switching back to the "z."

Silver set the ribs down, and started on the far easier to consume sprouts, "I just wanted a taste.

He's starting on the "far easier-to-consume" sprouts.

"Hello," said Night Watch as she suddenly parked herself at a ninety degree angle from both of them.

She's parked herself at a "ninety-degree" angle.

They arrived shortly at their room.

There are two spaces between "They" and "arrived."

Silver bobbed his head, "I have never been more serious. Some time after the... uh, when is the Equestria games?"

The word "games" should be capitalized, since it's part of the name of the event.

Also, the plural nature of the name means that he should be asking "when are the Equestria Games?"

Silver shook his head, "I don't think so. Only Celine is magic. Everyone else will just be tired for a little while. Please, will you help me?"

Oh shit! I completely forgot about what happens after the Equestria Games.

Heh, ii just had an amusing image of Silver chucking a fireball down Tirek's throat Dodongo style.

5738564 Fixed! Hope you liked it.

5738627 I did indeed! After three chapters of setting the stage, he plot has kicked off with surprising drama! Like many readers, I'm a bit surprised that I didn't consider the effect that Tirek's imminent rampage would have on Celine, who is a spell-effect herself, and so won't survive having her magic drained. That's an excellent way to up the drama quite considerably - particularly since, while Luna could "make another one," she wouldn't have the experiences and memories of the current Celine, and so wouldn't be the same pony (all the more so since her knowledge gained from having seen Silver's soul now rests with Celine alone, due to Luna's having divested it to her).

What's even better than this is that the knowledge contextualizes Celine's attitude in the previous story quite a bit. Now we know why she was so hot to find more mares for their herd - she was attempting to put her affairs in order, trying to find somepony that Silver would be happy with before her time was up. In light of this, so much of how she acted before makes sense; it's enough to make me think that you planned it this way.

It was a pleasant surprise that this chapter also put forward some interesting information regarding changelings in general, and Nicole in particular. The idea that a changeling could become a true pony is quite fascinating - indeed, we could almost see Nicole being in much the same position as "David" once was. It makes it slightly ironic that Nicole showed up just to exchange greetings and then was gone just as quickly only a few chapters previous. Perhaps more immediate is that this raises all kinds of flags regarding Fast Change. Is he/she a changeling? Or a pony that might end up becoming a changeling? Clearly something's going on here.

Either way, this chapter was laudable for how much it kicked things into high gear. This was a truly excellent example of using a plot element to create future drama and contextualize what we already knew, and it makes it all work so well that it rises to one of the very best chapters that we've seen so far. Silver's story is really hitting its stride now, so it's going to be great to see how this crisis is handled.

5738662 Today has been insane! Two games to run, one being a Patreon monthly game, the other a weekly, and the weekly was a huge plot point. But I still managed three chapters, yay! And I finished up an adventure I was writing!

Meanwhile, I'm ecstatic to hear the chapter hit the right note and didn't fall flat in its attempt. I hope it really does help frame while Celine has acted the way she has. Luna making another one would be... painful. Looking at this familiar pony that didn't have all those shared moments together? It would be... ugh...

Fast Change shows all the signs of a pony that could easily become one, if they aren't already. Something to investigate... perhaps when Silver is not so frightened.

I'm looking forward to upcoming chapters! Thanks for being with me.

i love how fast you update this story

5739036 Welcome to the herd! Glad you could join us. Is this the first story you've been reading or have you been with us from the start?

5739043 i sorta joined half way through the first one, stopped because of college and rejoined at about i think chapter 10 of the previous story when college wasnt so hectic any more

5739102 Well it's good to have a long-time reader back.

Read ALL the stories!

I did it in less than a day!

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