Silver looked out the window, showing a scene breezing past quickly. "Did they say why he couldn't come to Canterlot?"
Night shook her head. "Nope, just that he wasn't comfortable, and, well, we're here to help, right?"
Silver nodded. "That we are. I hope he's alright. It'd be terrible if he was injured. They'd tell us that, right?"
Night lifted her shoulders. "You'd think, but I've learned to not assume these things. We'll be there soon. Get some sleep." She leaned over and nuzzled her stallion. "I'll let you know when we're there."
They were well on their way to meet their next human ward, and Silver didn't awaken until Night nudged him awake, already at the station. "He should be here to meet us. Try to look presentable."
Soon enough they were descending down the steps onto the station, looking for their human.
A tall, gangly, pale, nervous looking man with a greying beard and mohawk stood on the platform looking around aimlessly, quietly talking to himself, keeping up the same kind of internal monolog most people would keep track of silently, “Lunar pony, and brown unicorn, don’t call them bat ponies… Oh, there they are.”
“Hello,” he smiled and waved, “Are you Ambasador Lining and Night Watch? Thank you for coming to Ponyville I have… issues with the Sun. Being in a city ruled by the goddess of the Sun makes me… uncomfortable.”
He smiled and spread his arms with an an apologetic smile, “Maybe we could go somewhere we could talk? I'm on decent terms with the Cakes, so Sugar Cube Corner would work.”
Ponyville? Silver looked around, realizing that was exactly where they were. He paled a little. "Oh! Uh, well, Celestia's the gentlest, kindest pony you could know. She's a gentle giant, and I hope you work up the courage to say hello to her, eventually, but for now, here we are." He offered a hoof, shaking as it might be. "I'm glad you're getting along here."
“I don’t know as I’d call it ‘getting along’,” the man shrugged and frowned a bit, “But At least I’m washing dishes for food, and not eating out of the dumpster anymore. Can I go home? I didn’t ask to go to Ponyville. I asked to go to upstate New York. I have a friend there. She just finished her last radiation treatment, and I just got out of the nut-house. And we were gonna visit but neither of us had the funds, and then this magic writing on the wall asked me where I wanted to go… I’m rambling, sorry I do that.”
He shuffled uncomfortably for a second, “I brought enough stuff to be sent to the wrong place and forgot to bring my meds. What can ya do?”
Silver set his hoof down gently. "You're not bothering us, I promise. What sort of medication did you need? I don't think pony psychology is very far if it's involved with that." Some concern was in his voice, but not accusation. "We'll do our best, promise. Do you feel alright just this moment?"
“Oh yeah,” he nodded, “I’m not having an episode or anything. I’m just kinda decompressing all at once. Emotional stability of a ferret. But seriously, can you send me home?”
Silver shook his head. "Not within my power… I'm pretty sure there are some unicorns trying to figure that out, but I can think of a few possible problems in the way of that. Let's not focus there though. I'm here to make you as happy as you can be here. If we can get you back, we'll cross that bridge later." He turned to the side. "Are you missing anything, besides home?"
"Pretty much everything, I’m washing dishes for pastries, and I have no earthly idea where to go from here. Are there warehouses in equestria?” the mohawked human stopped walking suddenly and blurted out, “I’m Kiki by the way. Spelled k-i-k-i, but it’s pronounced like kie-kie. Mostly people… and ponies now, just call me Ki. Sorry, I forgot that part.”
"Oh sure." Silver reared up on his hind legs, standing as a human might, even if it's obvious that ponies were not meant to stand that way for long. "We have warehouses and most other things you can think of, just not all here, in Ponyville. This is a quiet and small place, mostly run by earth ponies."
Night nodded in quick agreement. "It's a little backwards. If you want more advancement, you're better off in a larger city."
“The reason I ask is that I always did warehouse work back home,” Ki nodded, “I’m pretty good at it. Wasn’t planning to stay in Ponyville too long anyway. It’s weird, when you recognize everyone… er… everypony around you when they have no idea who you are. Mostly because there’s no serialized entertainment based on you. Know what I mean?”
Silver quickly nodded. "This isn't the place to avoid that kind of feeling." He glanced off. "Every pony here is recognizable, even if just as a 'background' pony. It's unnerving. I had to admit to Celestia and Luna that I knew them that way. I felt too guilty just pretending I didn't know them." He settled down, seated on his haunches. "You remember Manehattan?"
“Too much like New York,” Ki shook his head sadly, “Don’t want to think about where I was trying to go. Is there a pony version of Atlanta? That would be ideal. Funny story, did you know anthro art freaks ponies out? Like seriously. I tried to sell some of my pen and ink drawings when I first got here. Ponies hate anthro more than bronies. It’s insanity!”
He actually managed a bit of a chuckle at the thought, then got somber again, “The worst thing is that Spright, and my brother, and pretty much everybody is going to assume I figured out a really clever way to kill myself. On the other hand, it’ll make closure easier I guess… I hate those damned words.”
Silver frowned a little bit. "That would make it awkward, which is one of the problems I see. If we all went galavanting back to Earth, we'd be a huge bunch of legally dead people trying to ram back into lives that don't have room for us anymore. The longer it takes, the worse that'd end up being, and there's no way to hurry it along." He lifted his shoulders. "Hey, how'd you end up here? How'd the Text get you?"
“I was lying on my pallet on the floor of my apartment, trying to pretend like I was asleep, you know, because sometimes that really does work,” Ki took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh, “And on the back of my eyelids I saw these words, ‘Where do you want to go?’ At first I tried to ignore it and just go to sleep, but it was weird. Even though they were just words they seemed to press into my brain.”
Ki paused a minute to compose his next thought carefully, “At first I thought it was some kind of weird medication side effect. I mean, I don’t normally get hallucinations, but what else would I think, right? But then I opened my eye’s and it was almost like the words were still there, only I wasn’t, if that makes sense?”
Silver nodded quickly. "Sure. I guess I was lucky in a way. Damn thing just snatched me up going down the road, poof, dark room, words. There wasn't much doubt for me to have about it in that situation." He rubbed at his cheek with a hoof. "So what did you say?"
“Well,” Ki let out a laugh without even a trace of humor, “Keep in mind, I still wasn’t sure if this was dream, a medication based hallucination, or maybe I’d just finally taken the last turn down the road to crazy-ville. But for what-ever reason I decided to play along, and said, ‘I want to go to Spright’s house in upstate New York.’ I mean cause we were just talking about the price of train tickets the night before. And then it asked, ‘What do you want to take?’. And that’s where I fucked up. I mean, that’s where I twisted time and space and just fucked myself right in the ass.”
He stopped. He just stopped, consumed in a fit of laughing and sobbing words coming out garbled and seemingly at random.
Silver went bolt upright with concern as his charge broke down before him. "You alright?" His silvery magic gently wrapped about the man, trying to give him a reassuring squeeze. "You're among friends, promise. You're alright…"
“No, I’m not alright,” grief turned to anger with a lack of transition only bipolar disorder can allow, “And I know you mean well. But I’m not among friends. I had friends. And I traded them for my laptop, my sketch-pad, three changes of clothes, and my set of colored ballpoint pens. The laptop's been pretty much useless since the battery ran dead. I traded my whole life for three changes of clothes and some some office supplies, goddammit!”
Silver nodded softly. "I'm sorry, but there can be new friends, can't there?" He offered a hoof. "Can I be the first?" A little smile played over his snout. "We all make mistakes, but we're alive, so it can get better."
Ki made several awkward hand motions before settling on fist/hoof bump, “Yeah, we’re cool. And I know that life goes on, but I’m never going to stop being mad.”
His eyes took on a slightly disconcerting gleam, “Ima get those damned words. As soon as I figure out how to hurt words. I swear to god I’m gonna make those words pay for this.”
Silver meets fist with hoof. "I haven't figured out how to do that, if there's a way to do it. Wouldn't it be better to focus on making your life better, instead of getting back at something, no matter how much it deserves it?"
Ki gave another dry humorless laugh, “Who’s to say it has to be either/or? I’m not gonna be about to wander Equestria in my never ending quest for vengeance. Gods man, I’m not a super-villian! I’m gonna get me a nice quiet warehouse job. Maybe an apartment in a slightly seedy part of town. Or maybe really seedy. I get the feeling slightly seedy by pony standards would still not be quite seedy enough by my standards”
Night cocked her head a bit. "Why would a neighborhood being more seedy make it better to be in?"
Silver shook his head. "I couldn't say myself." He looked to Kiki. "But that's for our new friend to say."
“Well,” Ki gave a genuine honest smile, “You see, I’m what they would call an old-guard punk rocker, I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything to you, miss, but Ambassador Silver might have some notion of what I’m talking about. You see, we like to keep our vices close… but not TOO close, if you get my meaning.”
Silver gave a thoughtful little 'hm'. "I get the idea you'll be showing ponies more than they'll be showing you, once you get your feet under you again. Still, if that's what you're going for, this is not the right place by far.. As for Atlanta, I admit, never been there… We got Baltimare, Las Pegasus? Fillydelphia, but not the place to be unless you're a filly, unless you like that kind of attention, good and bad."
“Wait a minute,” Ki broke into an amused, but cynical laugh, “Are you saying Fillydelphia is actually a city of actual fillies. Like, literally?”
Night put a wing over her face. "It had a name before, but earned the current one when a tourist newsie took note of the gender ratio and wrote up a big inflammatory report about it for everypony that wanted to see it. City of the mares! Behold, Fillydelphia! Should have seen the rush of stallions that caused, and wouldn't you know it." She lowered her wing, peering at Kiki. "That made them annoyed, and Fillydelphia's reputation as a mare haven only got stronger."
Ki almost lost himself in bouts of hysterical laughter, “Gods in hell! That is SO priceless! I mean, seriously, ALMOST worth the price of admission. I promise you, sooner or later, some human is gonna go straight there and try to live out some kind of Anon-In-Equestria fantasy. That is going to happen. Just let me know when it does, cause Ima bring some pop-corn. But seriously, city of defensive pony-women? Nope, not for me. I’m not here to ship myself with all the Princesses or anything crazy like that. Gods, can you even imagine?”
Silver went stiff, glancing away. "Oh, yeah, ha ha, only in their dreams…"
Night peered at Silver doubtfully. "Are you hiding something from me?
"No."
"I heard yes." She suddenly tackled him to the ground. "What is it?!"
“Uh… still here…” Ki glanced around awkwardly, “Uh… I’m gonna walk over here. I can probably still hear you, but I can safely pretend not to. So it’s totally cool.”
Silver reached out towards Ki, "Wait. Night, you're being rude." He 'punished' her with a quick kiss, and they hugged.
She whispered in his ear softly, "I'll get an answer from you later, I promise that." Then stepped free of him, letting him roll upright.
“It’s totally cool, for real. All my conversations are awkward, and pants are always optional,” Ki shrugged and chuckled, “Two basic rules of my world.”
Silver shook himself lightly. "Pants are always optional, here in Equestria, so you're on the right path there, but they're used to creatures that have fur, so you're likely to amaze some people, you know… dangling?" He turned red a little. "You probably shouldn't get in that habit, please."
“What can I say, Ambassador? I go commando,” Ki broke into an impromptu little silly song and dance, “Like G.I. Joe or Rambo. Swingin through the trees. Tommyknocker tommy knockin on my knees. I say geeze. When I feel the breeze. In late December, makes my coconuts freeze….”
And just before he could become the first human in Equestria to initiate a musical number, Ki collapsed into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.”
Unbidden by name, a perky pink pony appeared. "I like him, he's silly."
Silver recoiled a little on recognizing Pinkie. "Ah, yes, that he is." His eyes quickly returned their focus on Ki. "You alright, man? Slap the ground once for yes, two for no."
Night raised a brow. "Is that a real thing?"
“I-I’m goo...good,” Ki stammered out between fits of laughter until he regained some level of composure, “I did that on a public train once, for real. Just as funny then.”
Silver coughed into a hoof. "I may be in the minority, but, overall, most ponies are delightfully innocent creatures. There are exceptions, but let's treat them like bright-eyed kids and they'll fit that profile more often than not."
"Hey!" Pinkie gave Silver a professional pout while Night just rolled her eyes.
“Okay, man,” Ki shook his head, “I’m not out to corrupt all the little ponies. Seriously, it’s a joke. Might run around without pants occasionally now that you told me it’s basically legal, but ONLY for humor purposes. I mean, just think about it, a human streaking through the middle of a Wonderbolts show. THAT would be funny. You know it would.”
Silver put a hoof to his face, somehow producing a clop from the motion. A little chuckle escaped despite himself. "While it would be amusing, that doesn't make it right. Let's be good examples of humanity."
"What's a humanity?" Despite being ignored, Pinkie was going nowhere.
“A humanity is horrible tribe of mostly bald sub-monkeys, Pinkie,” Ki helpfully provided with a straight face, “Humans are all a part of humanity. And just like there are tribes of ponies. There are different tribes of humanities. I’m a Mohawkian. You can tell by the mohawk,” he leaned in for a conspiratorial whisper, “I’m the last of the mohawkians.” He then turned preemptively towards Silver, “Human history. Prove I’m not right.”
Silver glared a moment. "Pinkie--"
"Gosh, how'd you get such a clever know it all as a friend? And to think he's been living and working in my house this entire time! Twilight'll love to talk to you, mister smart guy." She bobbed her head, completely won over.
Silver's head sank. "Right. Anyway, for real. I want to get you where you can be yourself in a way that you can be happy and the ponies around you can be happy."
Ki gave a serious cross wise look toward Silver, “I’ll have you know I have been nothing but friendly and helpful since I got here. You can ask Pinkie. The closest I came to any trouble at all was when I got caught eating out of the dumpster behind Sugar Cube Corner. And that was mostly just embarrassing for me.”
Pinkie stuck out her tongue. "That was kind of gross. If you wanted a snack, you just had to ask, silly!" She suddenly produced a cupcake and held it out to Ki as an offering. "We always have something to nibble on."
Silver glanced at Pinkie, then back at Ki, the situation spiraling out of his control. "Of course. I mean that, I do! I'm sure you are, or they would have kicked you out, and that'd make you both unhappy, but I don't think this is where you want to stop, if that makes sense?"
“Well, yeah,” Ki nodded, “Leaving Ponyville was always the plan. Sorry I got side-tracked. That happens. Sorry, it was the Fillydelphia thing. I just had to laugh. Been I a while since I did that. But, yeah, back on track. Not Fillydeplia. Not Ponyville. Wasn’t planning on Ponyville anyway, but since you seem to think I’ll some-how actually break the place… definitely not here. Hell, you’ve been here long enough to turn into a pony, so maybe you’re right and I will break the place. I already ruled out Manehattan so where does that leave that would have warehouses?”
"Baltimare," offered Night. "Vanhoover?"
“Vanhoover?” Ki cocked his head curiously, “Is that in Equestria’s version of Canada? Never mind… I can learn geography later, after hearing how literal Fillydelphia’s name is, I’m gonna steer clear of Baltimare. Any weirdly literal things I should be aware of concerning Vanhoover?”
Silver looked to Night, who shook her head. "Nothing that comes to my mind? What's a Canada?" She looked back at Silver. "Is that a human thing?"
Silver nodded quickly. "A nation up north, cold, mostly polite people. Famous for its moose, syrup and hockey."
Night smiled. "Well Vanhoover has all of those things!"
“So then the answer is… yes? It is Pony-Canada?” Ki looked back and forth between the two, “I’m normally not big on cold weather. But ‘ey, I heard it’s totally legal up there! Any chance you could help find me some warehouse work in those vicinities?”
Night nodded quickly. "I have some contacts in the guard circuits, and where there's a warehouse, there are guards. I can find out where there are openings. You wanted to do inventory control?"
“Actually, I’m more shipping and receiving. Keeping everything sorted, labeled, organized, and going to the right place,” Ki nodded slowly, “Most wouldn’t think it, but I’ve kinda got a real head for logistics. Also did a little programming and amateur game design, but I don’t see those being very usable job skills in Equestria.”
Night glanced at Silver, who nodded quickly. "Actually, computing is a fledgling field, but we're talking first generation stuff. Anything powerful enough to do what you'd consider a game probably involves magic at this point." He looked back to Night.
She smiled. "As for the warehouse, sure! You're living with Pinkie, right?"
"Yep!" Pinkie had not fled yet, glued to the conversation.
"So I can send a letter to you there, right?"
“Yeah, yeah,” Ki nodded, “That’ll work. One more question, Is there electricity in Equestria that could charge a lap-top? Piece of home and all.”
Silver thrust a hoof at Ki. "You're in luck! I brought my desktop. Once you get the cord to fit in the wall, it seemed to work fine. They're compatible with American standards, I kid you not, aside the whole size thing."
“No Shit?” Ki’s jaw dropped, “What are the chances? So I just gotta twist around the plug and make it fit? It CAN’T be that easy?”
Silver put a hoof to his chest. "Hey, I know that feeling. Out of everything I went through, that one just worked fine and I'm not going to question it. Take some time, bend the prongs right to get in there, and enjoy your laptop."
“Well, thanks,” Ki smiled and offer up a fist bump, “I appreciate you riding out here to look in on me. If nothing else, it was fun. I haven’t really been in much of a mood for fun lately. Which was really getting to my roommate to be honest.”
Silver reached up and tapped hoof to fist. "It was a pleasure meeting you, and I'm glad you had fun. Look, we're both a letter away. We'll look into that warehouse gig and get you started, house included. Equestria isn't what you asked for, but it isn't a bad place." He stood up. "Until then, take it easy."
“Oh, always,” Ki laughed, “Again thanks for the help. It won’t take me long to pack. Ponyville’s been good to me but..” He leaned close and whispered as quietly as he could, glancing nervously back at Pinkie, “I’m almost certain she watches me when I’m asleep.”
When they parted amiably, Silver turned to Night. "Let's get back, now."
Night looked at him curiously. "Why have you been looking at this town as if it were haunted..." Despite her words, she went to the ticket office to secure back to the city. "And what a strange human that one was. Just don't think you're escaping my questions so easily..."