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Damaged


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The Text, an odd and capricious being that only talks by printing words into your mind, seems to quite enjoy teleporting people with no preparation into Equestria and seeing what they do. Most get some help almost immediately after reaching there, or get into problems with the denizens, but what happens when one person brings their own problem with them? Surely magic, or perhaps friendship, is the answer!

This takes place in the SilverVerse and like David's works is a self-insertion fanfic. Read on!
You don't have to, but you may want to read his stories for another (the original) perspective on this particular little idea. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/245393/clueless-in-equestria

Additionally, I have begun filling in some more of the 'not teen rated' scenes that in this were a 'fade to black', you can find them over here but be warned, this is Mature rated. You have been warned.

See This Blog for licensing.

Chapters (103)
Comments ( 1385 )

And finished, with the first chapter anyway. I demand more. Clearly this is some kind of foul typo! Waiter! More, over here!

6823836 Eeep! Well, I can't turn down the originator of the world. I was going to wait a day to put the next chapter up, but what the hay!

And interesting start indeed. A tad fast paced, but I can deal with that.

Not a solution I won't say I didn't consider. I guess with so many humans willing to take the option the drama about the transformation spell is all gone. But Luna should be happy about another Lunar pony.

...Wait, so Luna DIDN'T tell her she wants the character to be part of a breeding project BEFORE turning him into a mare? She doesn't think that it might be a little important to tell them that? It's not as if that would be a pretty damn big factor into a decision, no. :facehoof:

Sorry, but this breakneck passing isn't helping. The chapter is called searching for answers to a problem introduced last chapter, by the end of this one, it was already resolved and seemingly without careful consideration from anyone involved. And, well, I'm not going to say without complications, because future is uncertain, but...

I don't feel any tension so far. :applejackunsure:

6824525 First of all, thank you for reading and commenting :)

The intrigue from Luna and her boon is something that will be explored as things unfold.

As for pacing, yes, I have a problem with it and it is one damn hard thing to get 'right'. To be honest I wasn't even sure about posting these. Regular chats with David and diving face-first into his Silver Verse stories reminded me how much I enjoyed writing as escapism. The problems I describe here are real, blah blah life sucks. I wrote this for myself, for needing to just not think about the real world. I cried for my fictional self, even as I wrote it and it helped. I will see what I can do about the pacing, but I fear it will never be slow because my perception of the world around me, my filter of it, doesn't seem to want to work slow.

Not bad, definitely going to watch this.

6824206 The reason for calling in science-pony and a doctor was that they were reluctant to use such a spell. Celestia is a smart pony, Luna too, they had probably already guessed that changing the body completely would 'cure' the uncurable. They just didn't want to make it the hammer for all problems.

fore-hoof and twirled around it to stop at sad little building

Penny, we are to understand you are settled. This is just as we hoped. A tutor has been arranged, they will contact you to organize where and when you can be trained. It is our sincere hope that you will enjoy and grow into the shadow of your horn. As for that… other issue, we will seek you tonight in your dreams.

- Luna

1: should be at a sad.
2: I think you should do something to distinguish what text is in the letter, perhaps italicizing it?

I like the direction this story is taking. It's pretty fast paced so far, but that's not a bad thing. I look forward to where you take this.

6828205 The time skip was a little jarring. Didn't need more text but maybe some formatting to make it stand out that you were skipping a couple weeks.

6828205 Thanks for the feedback, all fixed :)

6828383 Yeah, popped in a few twiddles to give some idea that something has happened.

Might have been better off pushing that text up into the previous chapter, to be honest. But too late to go doing that kind of craziness now.

"Stick" is a good name for changeling drone. :twilightsmile: My head-cannon is that when drones have really clever, "changeling" names, it's becaue they got named by a leader or queen. If a drone makes up their own name, they generally pick something random they like the sound of, because it seems like that's how drone level hive-mind creativity should work. That's just my head-cannon though. :pinkiecrazy:

6834759 Thanks :pinkiehappy:

There is a little side thing going on, of course. Being friends with a changeling, giving them permission to 'nibble' would be an astounding thing. Having someone so deeply invested in your happiness that it would hurt them if you felt sad?

Life never intrudes on this island. I get all the people contact I need on the internet.

6836452 Fixed!

Turnabout is fair play :D

"Maybe I should ask Queen Fast about it."

Translated: "I'm pretty sure your playing a joke on me." :pinkiecrazy:

Lovin' the story. Stick is adorable. :twilightsmile:

6838101 Heh, thanks! Don't forget after this chapter to shoot over to https://www.fimfiction.net/story/253437/52/putting-on-a-silver-wizard-robe-and-hat/52---echoes-of-the-past to catch our collab piece of Silver and Penny meeting on the platform :)

6838121 before I read your story do
I need to read David's so I can understand what's going on?

6841364 Not really. Basically, Stick knows Penny was human, about all that really pertains to this chapter. But the info there will be used elsewhere, possibly a little, possibly a lot.

This story has really caught my attention. The (demi-?)a-sexual protagonist is a nice change of pace, and the writing is easy to read and constructed well. I love what you're doing here! Please continue! :)

6842611 Thanks! David Silver was what got me to get my keyboard out (after quite a hiatus) and he challenged me to write with myself as the protagonist. So I do.

And yeah, I am not overly fond of clopfests either, as you can probably guess.

6843146 Another of David's "victims". He also convinced me that sharing words would be fun. Actually, my changeling waifu, also first encountered Rarity (and later Sweetie and Family) as their first ponies. Rarity was much as you've portrayed, except she didn't believe Z-978 was telling her real name (she was, she made that name herself! That's just drone creativity, literally just picked something and said "Yep"). I like the way Stick is terrified of the Mane Six. I imagine it's ironic to changelings that ponies fear them after the invasion. To the survivors Rarity is known as "the pale horse" and Pinkie is "the unspeakable". Changelings are terrified of ponies. And for good reason!

I'm embarrased to call it, but one little typo. "Thar". We're southern. We're not not pirates. Sometimes it sounds that way, but you don't spell it it out like that. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Damaged deleted Jan 17th, 2016

6843338 Heh, me and David were talking for about half an hour about AJ's drawl. I apologize, we don't hear enough of it here in Australia ;)

Also, for some reason, I just can't stop writing this. nearly 10k words today, think I ended up publishing what, 3 chapters? Still got 3 in the queue to be published!

6843330 Yeah, think of it from Stick's point of view. She doesn't think the fight is really a good idea but sees a whole mess of changelings head out to attack. How many actually came home, speaking of six ponies that cut a swath through them.

6843409 Australia? I've seen pictures of your spiders. I am impressed. But why is the big scary bat-thing NOT what you named the "wombat"? Just sayin'. That's not a wombat, it's a giant fruit possum. You have giant terrifying bats. THOSE should be the wombats. I'm sure you've heard it before. Just sayin'. :twilightsheepish:

6843638 Oh, a wombat is about the size of three watermelons and weighs enough that if you hit one with your car, your car will come off second best and the wombat will walk away (this is no joke).

And yeah, we have a lot of bats. Last place I was living, every night, I could hear them nesting in a huge tree.

Spiders aren't a huge problem, you respect them, they respect you (unless you are in the Sydney area, then you have funnel-webs to deal with, those will chase you). Snakes aren't a big problem in the cities, so no problem for me there.

Ants are about the only pest I have to deal with. Yup, little black, ordinary, ants :D

6844423 So wombats are way bigger than I thought. When I was a kid and I heard the term, I just automatically thought it referred to the giant fruit bats. When I found out different, I was just sort of like, "Seriously, the giant terrifying bat is NOT the wombat? How is the giant terrifying bat not the wombat? Are you sure?"
The attitude kinda stuck with me. Because it's hard to fight the logic that the giant bat is the thing that should be called a wombat. :pinkiecrazy:

6844460 There is a reason the Aussie military refer to grenade launchers as 'wombat guns'. Apparently it is the smallest thing they carry that will slow them down.

Oops, I see I did the thing again where my post shows up in the latest chapter instead of the chapter I intended it for. You're doing pretty good with the southern accent. A southern accent's tricky to write, especially, I would imagine, when the only examples you have to go on are TV and movies. Although it's arguable that AJ's accent is more "country-western" than strictly southern. More what you would hear in Texas or Oklahoma than in the deep south. :ajsleepy:

6844619 I am watching comments from the main page, so I see any new ones that appear :)

Truly inspirational words were said to me just now. "For God's sake that's a cat not a bagpipe."

Everglow . Equestria.

6846265 Oh now that's embarrassing >.>

I blame David bringing typos over!

This relationship is really coming out cute! Stick and Penny OTP?

This is cool! Keep writing ok?

This was cute. You updated two chapters in one day right? That was cool.

Metal. Because sometimes you WANT to be pissed. :pinkiehappy: :flutterrage:

6849749 Yeah, my keyboard is crying right now. Been doing 2-3 updates a day for a few days.

6849774 Yeah, I don't think a pony would be too receptive to Pantera's - Primal Concrete Sledge.

6849802 Oh I dunno, I think pinkie could hang. Pinkie, Ima pretty sure, would LOVE Gwar. : :pinkiehappy:

6849814 Heh, David told me when I started "you get what you are carrying". I looked down IRL. I had the science shirt (XKCD 4tw), I had my galaxyS4 in my pocket and my keys. Now, even without net, I have a huge memory card in my phone with a big range of music.

main are. main area

6850092 Thanks, all fixed :)

You've certainly been going all out in your story telling these last few days, and it's a sweet little story that's as fun to read as eating especially well made chocolate treats and confections. :twilightsmile:

Are you interested in having typos pointed out in commentary? You're going so quickly that it would be a challenge to keep up with you, but it would be a pleasure to help in any small way.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

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