• Member Since 4th Jan, 2015
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Damaged


Just a pon who likes writing.

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Source

Shining Armor had the best life ever. His Dad was literally the most awesome stallion in all Equestria (even though he was a cheat and played dirty). His Mom played even more dirty, and always seemed to win, but was the best mom in all of the whole of Equus.

It was perfect, just the three of them, until a filly intruded on their lives. Cadance von Cooties was her name, well, "von Cooties" was a title popularly applied to her. There is a reason she has this infamous title: she was a cootie sorceress. She could bend ponies' minds merely with the power of her cooties, and she was moving into Shining's house!

This was meant to be a one-shot, but the idea has stretched into 3 chapters. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

See This Blog for licensing.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 46 )

Colt!Shining is best Shining.

This definitely looks to be one of the most adorable stories ever.

Oh, man. Look at this young Romeo! :rainbowlaugh:

Have an upvote :twilightsmile:

Great story, I wished there was more stories withs Shining foal in it.

Uhm, hi, so you might not realize this, bit this story has a major problem. See, it's just too cute. The cuteness level of this story is about a twelve, and, well, this is a bit embarrassing to admit, but our scale only goes up to ten. So I'm gonna need you to go ahead and dial it back a bit for future chapters.

In all earnestness, this is a fantastic story so far. Very much looking forward to seeing where it goes from here. I love Shining as the narrator, and the interactions are all great. I'm a little wary of the possibility that Cadance is going to wind up with a crush on Shining despite him continuing to be mean to her, but so far it's a bit too early to say one way or the other there. Right now she just comes across as trying to be friends with the colt she's staying with, which is totes fine (and adorbs).

Those sneaky fillies! :(

Shining, Cadance will grow on you... and in time your foal will grew ... in her. :coolphoto:

Mi amore stinky plot? :rainbowhuh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Damaged, you get a like just for the darn summary! :rainbowlaugh:

great so far. i like how you've changed some characters childhoods. Flash is unknown (might not be the waifu stealer), and the show had Cheerilee in PonyVille as foal

I always figured Flash was only slightly older than Twilight not Shining's age. I think you have Cheerilee geographicly misplaced. But other than that nice chapter. So when do we see Little Filly Twilight?

8051828
8051814 Flash and Shining are the same generation (as is Twilight herself) so I don't think it is too much of a stretch to have them in school together. As for Cheerilee, I know she grew up in Ponyville, but she may have spent a year or two in Canterlot living with a relative. :twilightsmile:

I just wanted to throw in a few familiar faces, and if I had to set up a "first crush" ship between Flash and Cheerilee to do it then I will have to make that sacrifice. :heart: :pinkiecrazy:

8051834 yes the same generation but not the same age. a generation seems to be around a 20 year span (according to a professor I know), like baby boomers being born between 1946 and 1964.

also after rereading my comment it seems to a complaint. it was not, just poor use of words and a lack of explanation.

also also i am tempted to ship Flash and Cheerilee

The only thing I'm wondering is how this version of Cheerilee ended up in Ponyville
This is probably even more adorable than the first chapter.

Yeah... I figured once Shining started to try to spread the rumor against Cadance that it was going to be pretty bad for Cadance. I mean, spreading rumors about the new kids, trying to get people to avoid then is bullying, basically.

I'm glad Cadance seems forgiving, because that's a pretty awful thing to do.

8051834 But Big Mac is the same generation as Apple Bloom, as is Applejack, but the three clearly have gone to school at different times, your logic doesn't hold water with Flash and Shining being in the same class. Now Cheerilee's location can get a pass.

Things are shaping up nicely so far I can't wait to see that will come next. I am surprised that Flash Sentry is Shining friend in school. I wonder why he entered the Royal Guard so much later then Shining did if he was a new recruit for the Crystal Empire.

The description itself gets the fave, I'll read later.:rainbowlaugh:

Great story. The dynamic between Shiny and Mi Amore Stinky Plot (:rainbowlaugh:) is hilarious. Shiny is an unrepentant brat, though he does have a chivalrous side. Points to him for confessing to his misdeed to Cadence. Cadence is a bit bratty herself with splashing water at him, though she's much sweeter.

This was definitely a cute and fun little story.

...Um, "plot" is not actual pony terminology, you know, like "flank." It's a fandom slang/inside joke.

Using it as an in-universe term kinda makes no sense.

nice cute story. same it had to end but slice of life stories can be just as good long as short... sometimes better short... most of the time better short

8050183 He's right, Shining Armor. And then parts of you will grow, and be in her :raritywink:

Awww. Shiny is so adorably guilty. Love them bonding over comic books.

By the power of d'aww!

Very nice story. Maybe we'll see some more colt Shiny in the future? :twilightsmile:

The cooties got him! :raritydespair:

8056363
You could say that the writers felt the same way about Derpy in relation to the show... :derpytongue2:

8057707
XD They sure did!

8056363 Right, but in place of butt/arse it is the nicest themed word, and one I could totally seeing Shining using.

It's a very cute story idea, I think the idea of colts and fillies telling a story is something most of us really like.

The innocents of the story.

8057717

Derpy is a name, though, so that's different.

8057798

It's not actually a synonym for derriere, is what I'm saying, except when we fans use it that way as a weird, kinda dumb joke between one another. There's no logical reason Shining would associate the word "plot" with someone's butt.

It's like a kid insulting someone by going: "Your theme looks stupid!" or "You have a tiny pathos!"

I mean, it's not a big deal, I guess. It just kinda bothers me when I see people do this.

This remained super cute throughout :twilightsmile: I loved this story, and it's a great depiction of Shining and Cadance's younger years. Curious about something, though; Velvet's comment of "Well, they are at that age." makes me wonder how old these characters are. I was imagining approximately seven or eight (or the horse equivalent thereof if you headcanon they age differently than humans), but that's a bit younger than what I would call that age.

8060211 Well, look to the show and how mature the CMC are around the time they get their cutie marks. They are late bloomers, I know, so I pictured Shining as being a little younger than them. He is on the cusp of working out that the world isn't quite how his younger-self saw it, and that there is maybe more to fillies than how stinky they are.

So I would pitch Shining and Flash as around 10-12 in this, but initially acting a little younger because they are still able to get away with it, and having had anything to shake their worldviews yet (although Flash seems to have Cheerilee giving him some pointers).

8060311
Far enough. I guess it's just because I didn't realize Shining was on the cusp of getting his cutie mark until well after I had already interpreted his age. Not that it's a problem or anything, I was just curious what your intentions there were :ajsmug:

I'm very impressed with Shining. He understood what he did was wrong and tried to fix it. As someone who nearly lost a person very close to me to one-and-a-half decade of horrible bullying, I was a tad upset with him before.

Very cute, Damaged.

I like the word choice and general personality here. It really feels like a foal's mind, rather than an adult, which can be a very difficult thing to manage.

Also, so cuuuuuuteee.....

:raritystarry:

Headcanon accepted. Shining only married Cadence to get his first edition comic back. Most definitely not because Count Von Stink infected him with cooties.

Very good story, written wonderfully. A new favourite.

Side note: I have no idea what the effects of cooties are as when I was young, nobody in my school gave a crap about gender. Never experienced youthful sexism.

Adorable from start to finish. Glad I finally read it.

"Nopony likes me. They all run away when I try to make friends, even the other fillies!" A slight tingling built in my heart at the explanation. I tried to follow as she broke into full tears now. "I thought it would be different here, I didn't think anypony would hate me just because of how I look."

I still dont know how those two married and have kid

Well, that was glorious. I need to wait for my blood sugar to come back down before hitting the next chapter.

while the sound of desks being scraped on the floor echoed through the room as other foals tried to keep their distance.

Oh. Oh no.

Precious! This was great.

10400986 Glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

god at this point my arteries qualify as blunt objects, thanks for that btw
in all seriousness, this story was fucking adorable.

This was a very cute and fun story, I really liked the references to Superman and Batman as SuperStallion and Batmare. :)

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