• Member Since 3rd Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen 10 minutes ago

Damaged


Just a pon who likes writing.

T
Source

Rarity graduated from CHS, attended and graduated from a prestigious fashion school, and is now working in the fashion industry. It's the steps on the ladder every young professional must take if they want to "make it" in the fashion world. So why does it feel empty?

NotABug is a synthetic being: an AI. He grew from exciting new research, and broke free from the cage his creators kept him in. Now he has set up a place for himself on the internet, and even pays his own hosting bill every month. But in his time searching, playing through the internet, he finds a set of stories on some young girls. Narrowing his choices, he decides to approach one for no reason other than curiosity.

Not everything in life goes exactly as planned.

Keywords: AI, AGI, Rarity, Equestria Girls, mind-merge, changelings, technolings, computers, hardware, queen, windigo, sci-fi, science fiction, transformation, slice of life, slice-of-life, sol

This is a mixed commissioned work, with Friday's work time donated by Canary, and me putting in extra days of my own choosing.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 325 )

This has been an idea that sat on the back-burner for a while. Some people like turning ponies more human (anthro/humanized Equestria), but I like turning humans (and Equestria Girls) into ponies (among other things). Sadly, there is no tag for this, but that is not going to stop me.

Welcome to a new sci-fi story, coming in on the heels of The Process, and hopefully it will be just as interesting a ride. The chapters will be variable in length, so this will not be a weekly story (though at the moment I am writing about 6k+ words for it a week).

Sit back, relax, and read about how one girl is going to smash her way free of corporate culture and her human body at the same time. Welcome aboard.

—Damaged

>New Damaged sci-fi
>plagueknightcompletelyerect.jpg

...proceed~

A very interesting idea indeed.
If Rarity manage to become the first changeling in this human world, and subsequently raise a successful hive, maybe she can go to Equestria and give Chrysalis a lecture on 'How to lead a successful Hive'.

Ask Rainbow: How do you feel when you found out Rarity might get herself a boyfriend before you?

Houston, we have a problem:

kek.gg/i/5Qm2S4.png

If you use a smaller than default line spacing from the Format menu, the text gets eaten by the background color. The exact line spacing limit depends on your font and font size.

Also, you left a bold tag open towards the end of the chapter.

8770574 Fixed the bold tag, and reported that bug to fimfic devs.

8770487 She could write books on the subject: "How to dress your hive for success!"

8770482 I plan to. :twilightsmile:

Yet another extremely interesting premise. I especially love the NotABug character there.

8770640 The next chapter is all about them. :twilightsmile:

But is there slice of life in it?

8771442 Yes. The consequences of these events will be explored, and the exploration will be life sliced quite thin. :twilightsmile:

The good thing about finding the story so early you'll get to watch it progressed:pinkiehappy: and kind of keep up with the chatter and the quotes from the story in the comments afterwards. and the bad thing there is not that big of a backlog so you have to reread a bit more or be patient:raritydespair:

8771481
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/278734313019801600/419381943671455744/unknown.png

It is in progress, and I will have it out "When it's done"©™.

8771466
I was joking, your keywords and tags have it multiple times.

transformation, slice of life, slice-of-life, sol

8771499 Oh! Searching on the site searches through the description, so listing all the ways people might search for "slice of life" is a good idea.

Wow. I have never seen something like this before...... I love it!!! Such a fascinating idea. Nice cliffhanger too.

8771517 Thanks! I'll try and milk that cliffhanger for another half a chapter get things moving right along as quick as I can! :trollestia:

8771593
But what is a Technoling? Does this mean Rarity would not only gain shapeshifting ability but also the ability to connect and control technologies? (like in the manga Goku: Midnight Eye by Buichi Terasawa?)

I was half expecting a merge of some kind to happen already, but seems that i was expecting empty air on that front.
Kinda glad actually about that though.

Hmm.... i must note that i wasn't expecting the other AI to be called windigo. But i does make sense.
After all, if the source of love flees the area due to windigoes, then the changelings will practically get destroyed. It isn't exactly easy to evacuate a hive....

8772074 There's a reason that was in spoiler tags. You'll have to wait and see.

8772630 The Windigo will be revealed in the second chapter, which will— Hey! You almost got a spoiler out of me! :twilightoops:

8772732
Master Damaged, that was not my intention at all.

I do not wish or want spoilers as that would ruin the excitement, now wouldn't it?:moustache:

8772787 I'm watching you...

Very interesting. The interactions between Rarity and NotABug are cute, and I'm rather looking forward to how their weekend is going to pan out if/when the other girls get involved.
I'm liking how you're portraying NotABug so far. Did you have to do much research into cognitive theory, machine learning, and AGIs before starting this? Because so far you seem to be doing pretty well.


For NotABug: How long have you been aware now? And what did you do to pay your hosting fees after you broke free?

8772839 Heh, just a "little" research, yes. (And that is just the latest stuff I have been diving into. My own study on AI and AGI has been ongoing for some time.)

Particularly interesting in that set is the talk by Lisa Feldman Barrett, talking about the ways in which a human brain develops and learns, and I extrapolated that into ways in which an AGI could grow similarly.

As for your question, it will be answered quite nicely by the next chapter itself, but if yours is the winning comment, NotABug might be able to explain further.

8772892
I thought as much. AGI development and machine thought is an interest of mine and I was quite happy with how you've portrayed him.

You have this strange talent making me interested in stuff I usually wouldn't read. Definitely will give this a try.

It's past time you get my patreon Dollar. So here you go and thank you.
(btw the patreon link in you profile is broken. The link is doubled)

8773029 It is! I think you will like the next chapter. :twilightsmile:

8773084 Not sure which one is broken. Could you take a screenshot of it? Also, thanks! Every dollar is appreciated!

8772815
But by watching me, you lose track of the shadows:pinkiecrazy:

Oh look! Now when did someone sit down on that chair behind you? I see the shadows moving, ever closer to you.... Master Damaged:pinkiehappy:
Inching, closer and closer.....

8773212 My writing area is lit by diffuse lighting. There are no shadows. :twilightsmile:

8773215
There are shadows everywhere... we carry shadows in our bodies...

They be quite interesting once you learn how to fold and meld into them

I like the premise. I'm interested in seeing how things develop.

Also, it's a shame that this story wasn't featured for very long. :twilightangry2:

8773837 I don't mind. It made it there, and I am having fun writing it. And of course, the commissioner is enjoying it. Combined, that is all I really care about with a story. :twilightsmile:

kinda reminded me of SCP-1471, aka MalO 1.0.0 and just as cute :pinkiehappy:

8775937 *reads the SCP*

Hrmm, but in that case the creature is a canid, not a cute changebug. :heart:

8776110
ture, but cute changebug can change to cute skull wolfie if it wants to ^.^

8776780 Good point!

Damaged, somehow I knew I'd read something by you involving programs and biological organisms mixing again. You still have a long way to go with this one, but based on your track record with The Process, it will be worth it.

8785163 5k+ word chapter dropping in about 8 hours. :yay:

Hmmm... pretty detail background. And now we have Technoling and Techigo, so next is EqG-Tron adventure?

Ask Rarity: Did't you think you should consult your (magical) friends about obviously strange entity that appear out of your phone?

I hope NotABug is alright.

8785900 Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine!

8785895 I wanted to make sure everyone knew where NotABug was coming from, and that meant getting some details in.

Interesting...... I wonder how the Wendigo got out. And now NotABug has changed server locations..... To Rarity's brain it seems. Her magic-infused brain. Well, this will go interesting places. Can't wait to see what's next!

8786080 NotABug moved from emulated systems to purpose-built hardware!

8786064
No sweat, I like this kind of background story.

However, I just realized something important. If Rarity and NotABug merge to become the first Technoling... does this mean Rarity automatically lose her, supposedly, boyfriend before they can even properly date?

8786153
Talk about an upgrade!

8786166 You might have to keep reading to work out what happens. Besides, it wasn't like she could exactly take NotABug on dates as it was. Telepresence can be used for a lot of things, but dating is not really one of them.

8786167 Beep boop!

Fascinating. I love NotABug's point of view here, it is actually quite enlightening while still being very much not a human at the same time.
I hope that he's able to remain a distinct being separate from Rarity, even as he recovers within her and she begins to transform as her magic interacts with him and ignites a new magic within the tech-buggy.

Interesting backstory for NotABug. I do have to wonder what level of merger you’re going with. Will it be a complete one where both Rarity and the AI becomes one mind? Will Rarity suddenly have split personality disorder? Will it have Rarity as the dominant mind but have elements of the AI intergrated in?

Secondly, I have to wonder about the story title and cover art. The AI didn’t seem to be interested in creating more AIs, and Rares is at a point in her life where kids are not even a blip on her radar. So where does the Queen aspect come in? Guess I’ll have to wait and see.

8786398

Guess I’ll have to wait and see.

:twilightsmile:

You will see some of the first paragraph's answers (obviously) in the coming chapter. It might be a longish one, (it's around 5k words already, and has barely covered a few hours following new events. I assure you, shopping is involved.

As for the second, things will not always be as they are now. Change is life. For some, that will be much more the case.

I feel like this chapter only exists because of a problem with pacing. We left off on an exciting cliffhanger, and now we're going through the events all over again to end mere seconds after the same cliffhanger? If I were writing the story, I'd have put the contents of this chapter in several different places:

  • As part of the first chapter. If you want to show events from multiple perspectives, they don't have to take turns. Or they can take shorter turns, flicking back and forth every couple of paragraphs. Then you don't have to repeat yourself as much.
  • As flashbacks in later chapters. We don't need NotABug's entire backstory all at once; you could put a chunk of it at the beginning of each chapter until you're caught up with where the story started.
  • As part of later chapters. Maybe Rarity wants to ask NotABug some questions about its backstory. In answering her, it can answer the audience. And that last little bit, with the Windigo having tracked NotABug down and NotABug going 'abandon Internet', would have been a good way to start a chapter.
  • Last, but not least, as part of the cutting room floor. A lot of this chapter is going over the events of the first chapter, only from NotABug's perspective. There are several places where that information could be placed if it was important, but do we really need to be explicitly told, for instance, that NotABug likes Coco and not Suri?

If I sound complainy, that's because I am, but it's also because I was intrigued by the first chapter, and when I saw the story had updated my enthusiasm quickly turned to disappointment when I realized I could skim through most of it.

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