• Member Since 16th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen July 1st

Dizzy Daze


I often have the strange desire to balance random objects on my head.

E

Twilight Velvet tells her daughter a bedtime story.

I'm unsure if this counts as AU so I marked it just to be safe. Missing tag: Cute

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

Love the story. One little grammatical error though.

"Ah, but that's the trouble with them's that love you,"

It should be:

"Ah, but that's the trouble withthose that love you,"

Other than that, I enjoyed it.

4710417
That was actually intentional. I was trying to give her sort of an informal, grandmotherly feel. I'm not too sure of how it worked, though.

4710431 Well, if it was intentional, then I guess it can be overlooked. And yeah, I think the AU tag works here, but that's just my opinion.

4710550
So, definitely AU, then. :eeyup:

I did NOT see that coming.

Aww! This is so... adorable! I can't help but just... awwww! :pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

4710431
It's kind of a gray area with a colloquialism like that, but I'd still drop the apostrophe on "them's", since it's neither a contraction nor a possessive. And I wouldn't strictly speaking consider this an AU, but the tag does serve to warn of the oh-so-shocking twist.
In any event, cute story!

I... I.... :pinkiegasp:
Sooooo cute! :rainbowkiss:

Everyone in the comments is saying this is cute and it has no dislikes..... I shall read this later.

D'aaaaaaawwwwww!!! :heart:

This was a wonderful read, but I did notice one typo:

Confident that it was just a false alarm, Velver sank back into her pillow, only to double over again as another contraction seized her stomach.

Even though that was a typo, I now want to name something "Velver." Either a pet or a fictional character I haven't yet created, most likely...

Anyway, thanks for writing! :twilightsmile:

Totally adorable :raritystarry:

I liked this story, and I was surprised at 'Surprise' in the end.

I have to say that the inclusion of Rainbow Dash seemed a bit necessary and around that time your pacing seemed to me to be somewhat forced. It was like you were rushing or having trouble tying your two ends together. My opinion, but, maybe that was just me.

Cute and lovely story overall about two characters that really need more written about them.
Thank you.

You're right. This definitely deserves a cute tag.

Surprise being the third foal of Twilight Velvet and Night Light? Interesting... :rainbowlaugh: I take it back! It's hilarious.

Very cute story, and surprising. :rainbowkiss:

Also, Twilight Velvet has her own character tag now in the "background ponies" section. You might want to add it. :twilightsmile:

5361974
:pinkiegasp: It's about time Velvet and Night Light got their own tags! I was not aware of this, thanks for bringing it to my attention.

lol GIMME MY BITS VELVET. cute story!!

I very much enjoyed this. It was adorable! Well done!

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