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Damaged


Just a pon who likes writing. (And now eating too: Patreon)

Sequels1

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Twilight discovers an insidious new plot by a new shop in town, they sell things she finds out are named "peesa" and the combinations are unbelievable. Always, however, they seem to be based around cheese and tomato, two of the Princess of Friendship's favorite foods!

Contains: Fun, silliness, changelings... fairly standard fare for me!

EDIT: So, this universe is completely identical to the normal canon universe, except Twilight Sparkle freakin' loves cheese. (in other news, I now know what a quesadilla is)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 92 )

A new (and silly) story. Where will it go? Will there be another chapter? Uh, "I don't know" and "maybe" are my final answers!

This peesa has a future. And this story also. I like it.

So...wait. Twilight actually likes cheese in this story?

Okay.

7586621 I haven't even read this, and that's exactly what I was thinking from the description.

7586685
7586621 Gah, did I miss something? I did poke for research on fimwiki...

7586695 In season 4, the Mane six discovered Pinkie has an entire office space in her basement where she keeps files on everyone in Ponyville. It is revealed in Twilight's file that she has a fear of cheese, specifically Quasidias.

7586712 There, solved the problem. Tagged AU with a note. In other news, I now know what a quesadilla is. Why didn't they just call it a "grilled cheese sandwich"?

7586716 Because a qausidilla is Mexican food.

7586734 And I am Thestralian, it makes things difficult to track sometimes. :facehoof:

7586739 I may not have read it, but the first thing I thought was this: "Why would Twilight love cheese? She detests it, especially the gooier variants."
Well, quesadillas use tortillas, and can use more sauces than just cheese and butter and may contain meat, usually chicken and can also be spicy. Thing of it as a longer, flatter, more complicated grilled cheese sandwich with flatbread instead of toast.

7586757 Yeah, asked friends about it, they explained it. Kinda hard to dig that out of the story, however, so slapped AU tag on there.

Also, grilled cheese sandwiches can be complicated. I like mine with spicy capsicum skins, a little ham, and at least twice as much cheese as should be legal.

7586760 I like cheese. I like to rip cheese out of my sandwiches, molten or not, and then stuff it all onto the last piece of the sandwich.

7586767 Mmm, Colby or Jarlsberg is my favorite for sandwich melting.

7586760
I honestly don't have a problem with it as long as it says AU. Even then, I didn't really have a problem with it at all, just seemed like a strange thing to overlook.

At least you didn't try to change it so the pizzas are Korean pizzas. Have you ever seen those? Those are about as much pizzas as jawbreakers are gumballs.

tradesponies had built - tradesponies had built

capsicum - I'm a little curious here. To my understanding capsicum is what other parts of the world call bell pepper, but then you use bell pepper later in the story. Is there a nuance that I'm missing?

still open. The bowling alley - still open — the bowling alley

chairs setup - chairs set up

as to if the counter - as to whether the counter

against hers. And fell over - against hers — and fell over

*****
We have another cute and lovable changelings story, and lot's of gooey, cheesy goodness.

if you keep this up everyone will forget all about that whole "wedding invasion" thing and accept changelings into everyday life where they can be fed into a torpor with love and friendship. :twilightsmile:

*****

It is 'pepperoni', no meat in that at all.

Surprisingly true. Most 'pepperoni' seems to be made of grease, salt and red-pepper flavoring and kept solid enough to slice with culinary black magic.

*****
So, Boring, what's it like being force fed more love than you've ever experienced since your hatching? Are you up for seconds?

7586716
Because it's made with tortillas and not bread. It's closer to a tex-mex mini pizza; a most excellent cheese delivery system.

7586760
Here's a tip for getting a beautiful crust on the outside of your grilled cheese sandwich. Instead of spreading butter or margarine on the outside before putting it into the hot pan or griddle, use mayonnaise. Mayo is oil, salt, lemon juice and just enough egg yolk to keep it all emulsified and when heated makes the most excellent crust on grilled cheese sandwiches. :heart:

7587032 Thank you, as always!

7587048 Oh, I totally cheat. I have a big double-plate sandwich press. Don't need to spread anything on it, with a non-stick coating you can just dry-cook them and the cheese's own oil permeates through the dry bread.

7587059
Ah, in that case you can also put cheese down on the lower plate, put the sandwich on top, sprinkle more cheese on top, then lower the upper plate. I think you'll like the way that comes out even more. It makes the outside of the sandwich into a cheese crisp. :heart: :heart:

7586739 ....and here I was calling myself a Horstralian!

7587244 Well, don't you know all us Thestralians live underground here? Particularly around Bendigo, all these awesome old mine shafts make great homes.

7587274 Why don't you join us on Discord?

"Her Aching Flank"… it hadn't been the sort of movie a young mare should watch, in Twilight's opinion.

Wonder if she's seen 'Dallassoe cowcolts cheerleaders' yet?

What a cheesy idea.

Hey Lyra, hope you're taking Twi back to your place and not to the castle, Bonbon will be most upset if she misses out?

Always, however, they seem to be based around cheese and tomato, two of the Princess of Friendship's favorite foods!

Ummm...

P.S. Also

7587577 Note, story is flagged AU (alternate universe) and in the description: "So, this universe is completely identical to the normal canon universe, except Twilight Sparkle freakin' loves cheese. (in other news, I now know what a quesadilla is)"

Also, if she hates cheese, why does she love cheeseburgers in EqG?

7587595 Those are HayBurger not cheeseburgers.

7587611 Really? Humans eat hay there? But regardless, look at the burger has has in the cafeteria scene, where she grabs the apple in her mouth. There certainly looks to be cheese on that.

7587629 That's shredded cheese on top of the meat patty, right? (checked on the blu-ray I have of it, certainly looks like cheese).

No real reason to argue. I dun goofed (not knowing what the food was they were talking about in that original clip), the AU tag should hopefully be enough to keep me from looking too foalish. :twilightblush:

"Pizzas for Liar?" Immediately made my think 'a this. XD

Anyways, nice lil' story you got goin' here. I'z gonna put this on my trackin' list. =3

7587649 No, between the meat patty and the bun, this stuff.

pennmac.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/cheddar-cheese.jpeg

7587655 that's the Lettuce

7587663 Huh... looks like shredded cheese to me. Oh well, I withdraw from the argument. Still, AU! :scootangel:

7587663 It's actually quite odd, how different cultures can do such things. Here, it is pretty common to use shredded cheese on a burger, and use leaves of lettuce. Apparently quite different to US?

This quickfix by tagging the story AU is absolutely hilarious! Finally learned what a quesadilla is, eh? Don't worry, many people around me don't know what a quesadilla is either, and those who do still spell it casediya.

7588280
Do they also pronounce quiche as 'quickie'? :derpytongue2:

7587677
In my experience, as a United States citizen, pretty much all burgers use processed flat pieces of cheese instead of shredded cheese. I don't think using shredded cheese would be TOO different. Might taste significantly different though!

For some reason, I was hoping the au tag was going to be because this was going to be a universe where the changelings didn't invade and instead opened a pizza chain to gather love from the Equestrians. After all, what better way than to enamor yourself to a people than by introducing them to mans' finest culinary creation? The changeling race would get their own stain glass window in Canterlot castle for that.

Princess Celestia enjoyed her seventh slice of pizza as Queen Chrysalis sat across her, a look of pure content on both of their faces. "Oh, Queen, what have you done to me? I'm bloated," Celestia half joked as she scarfed down the cheesy slice of heaven.
"You and me both, Princess," Chrysalis replied with a smile. "If only your ponies knew how much you've grown to love our pizza, all the bakeries would try to become pizzerias. It's a good thing we ironed out that patent deal to make sure ponies couldn't do that."
"Something I still think you should reconsider. There can never be enough pizza, and I'm afraid your changelings are going to run themselves ragged trying to keep up with demands by themselves."
Chrysalis shook her head. "Impossible. With all the love your ponies have for pizza, my changelings have enough energy to work 24/7. Besides, I'd rather not risk the competition. I know ponies could never bridge the gap of our pizza making prowess; it's an ancient changeling tradition after all, but after having come so close to starvation, I'm rather paranoid."
Celestia gave her friend a sad smile. "Had I known of your struggles, or even your species earlier, I'd have done anything I could to aid you. Plus, had you introduced yourselves sooner, Equestria could have experienced pizza much sooner." She looked to the final slice of cheesy, tomatoey goodness wrapped in her magic, the golden aura nothing compared to the shine of that greasy, tasty cheese, and whispered with a sigh, "All the wasted years..."
"I know, it was foolish to hide away from you for so long when we were starving, but much like pizza, hiding is also a changeling tradition. Honestly, I'm just glad I made the wise decision to open restaurants in Equestria instead of my other plan. That would have been a disaster."
"Oh, and what was your other plan?"
Chrysalis rubbed nervously at the back of her head. "I was... sort of planning to invade Equestria."
"... Truly?"
"Yeah, it came down to a vote actually, 22158 for war to 22159 for pizza. Can you believe it? One vote and we'd probably be steeped in some stupid conflict instead of sitting here enjoying pizza and love in equal measure. Fate is a funny thing, is it not?"
"Indeed it is, but at least it is not cruel," Celestia agreed with a nod and a bite of pizza. "I don't even want to imagine such a world..."
"You and me both. Would you like another pizza? This one is a new recipe I've been working on with barbecue."
"Is Twilight's obsession with the written word annoying? Bring it here, Girl!"

7590497 Feel absolutely free in writing this as its own story. I would love to read it!

I remember that cover art. The changeling is supposed to be holding a pie though...

7590497

The changeling race would get their own stain glass window in Canterlot castle for that.

Even in the realm of Equestria and fanfiction, that sounds pretty dumb. But you know what? I'd rather see your idea on a stain glass window than someone's clopfic.

7590502 Wow...

When I tried to do that with one of my stories people chewed me out for it. You must be a god/dess to these folk to get away with that.

I envy you... (strokes your cheek and staggers away)

7591849 I like the stories I write, if somepony wants to take my idea and send it in a different direction I say go for it. Art is frequently derivative and I would rather more fun stories I like than another one I don't.

Ehehhe, that was fun.
OMG my feed is 226 entries LONG?!?! Oh geez, no wonder I missed these...
Keep going! ;)

Oh. That was fun. Wish there was more of it, but as it is it's a funny enough one shot.

And the sequel documents there experiments in which they replace the tomato sauce with a white jalapeno sauce.:rainbowwild:

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