Where do you want to be?
I had to squint. Hours spent on my computer did not prepare me well for having this… text, appear mid air and just out of my normal focal range. "What, for real? Where do I want to be?"
Yes. Where do you want to be?
A touch of bitterness grew, born of loneliness. "Sure, ask me that now. Well, I lost a friend, one of the closest I have ever had. More brother than friend, if you can count someone I have never met in person a brother." The memories of loss, of sending him messages online, of emailing him, even poking people he knew in real life. All I got was confusion. Refocusing my thoughts, avoiding the pain that was a daily issue, I looked up at the text. "My friend, I lost track of him. I think I would want to be where he is."
Even if he is dead?
A tightness came over me that was not entirely emotion based. "No, not if he is dead..."
That is lucky then. You may bring one thing, anything.
The first words cut through the pain and I smiled a little. "So he is alive? Good… uh, one thing? I guess… my phone charger?" The weight of the phone in my pocket, along with my keys, told me that would do. "Hey, that is a nice font." I reached out, gently, not sure if it was appropriate. They almost felt warm when I was close to them.
You like it?
I gave a nod. "I love words, I adore when they are used with cleverness and, particularly, multiple meanings. I did see what I thought I saw didn't I?"
You may have. I will not give direct answers.
More information, some directly, some less so. I smiled more.
You have chosen something seemingly small, but possibly less so. You will not be close to your destination.
I felt the world start to shift around me. "Wait, but I will be able to find him?"
That is an open path.
Knocked forward, bumped more to the point. "I say, another human?" The words had an odd twist to them, stereotypical 'upper-class'.
I rolled to the side. As you get older, getting up from a fall is harder. Pain lanced through my gut and I winced. It was a pain I knew well. "Sorry I-" Words were lost. I looked up at… a pony. No, not just a pony. Fancy Pants.
"At least you have manners and, as it would happen, I have some little experience with your kind. You should announce yourself, to the princesses." He smiled to me as I gave a mute nod. "Did you just arrive?"
Words returned. "I… I did. I… Celestia and Luna?" My head was swimming, the day had been a bad one for pain, and on top of the normal meds I had indulged in a little rum.
"Just the ones. Come on, my good chap." I felt a force lifting me, seemingly effortlessly, to my feet. "Now, you see the castle there," I nodded, his magic even having straightened my glasses, "well just trot yourself up to that, find somepony wearing gold armor and announce yourself."
It was just like the show. Not a little. Not almost.
I grinned and took a deep breath. "Thank you, sir, you have been a wonderful help!" The words seemed to not only brighten his mood, but mine as well. There was magic, there was ponies. If I wasn't on the far side of mid thirties, I would have giggled.
As it was Fancy seemed quite delighted to be addressed as per his station and gave a nod, turning and trotting off. "Such a polite human." His final words, not meant for me, were heard regardless.
I knew I wouldn't get such a reaction from most people. Looking down at myself was a sobering experience. Shorts, check. Undercut long hair shaved to the skin, check. Silly nerd-science shirt, also check. Exploring my pockets I found my keys, my phone that now refused to get any signal, and my little white droid-charging cable.
It hit me after a few steps. The pain, my constant companion for nearly ten years now. "Oh glob, my drugs…"
The mood soured a little, even as I forced a smile. Even half a life spent working in retail meant I could not only make a smile at will, but make it look real. "New to the place, human?" The guard didn't sound threatening, but for someone unused to being challenged by those with obvious weapons and authority, it made me shrink a touch.
"Uh," I didn't know if humans were tolerated, accepted or welcomed. "Yes. I confess I am not-" the pain hit and I winced. The imposing figure stepped forward, clearly able to identify pain, no matter if I was neither pony nor soldier.
A soft orange glow wrapped my arm and I leaned on it while the pain rolled on. I neither tried to move nor said anything, gritting my teeth until it passed. "Sorry, not… not a good day. I was told I should present myself to the princesses?"
Seeing me recovered, the pony looked a little sad at my previous condition. "It comes and goes?" I nodded, standing straighter, not leaning on him now. "Then if it is gone let’s get you to court."
How could anyone… anypony, understand that fast. I mentally kicked myself, as he led me to a huge room. Of course he would pick up on it, even in a perfect pony world, pain and injury were not absent.
A big earth pony, replete with a cutie mark of a staff and a megaphone, nodded to the guard. But they didn't leave. "He suffers an injury." No boredom. No pity. I couldn't stop an actual smile from coming.
"Very well. Who should I present?" I blinked once or twice, my mind ticking a few seconds before the measure of his words fell through.
"Uh By… Barny." My real name it was not, but it was what friends call me and I thought, with ponies all around, trying to make friends would be good.
It wasn't a long wait, but many eyes turned to me, again and again. Some writing me off with obvious scorn, some showing more curiosity. One pair captured and held me. Luna.
Caught, deer in headlights. Her eyes were a lot different from the show. Well, no, they weren't. Her PRESENCE was different. She wasn't a calm mare, looking over the ponies she loves. She was looking at an alien and I felt like she was boring into my being.
"Barny? Please remain until after court." Celestia's voice was strong, it carried the weight of a ruler behind it, wrapped in a soft pillow. My mute nod was all that she needed. I wished a smile would tug at her mouth, but this was her court and she just had an odd alien dumped in it.
I waited, but I listened. Most of the court was about petty problems. 'My cart was damaged by someone'. 'I need help with my farm', 'why are import taxes so high'. The last was interesting at least, the petitioner was a much more exotic pony, larger by far than most and closer to being what I would call a horse. I kept my trap shut though, I had no idea what was really going on and no authority to ask.
At last, however, it was announced that the day court was at an end. I did wonder about something until then. Luna had said nothing, not a word. It was day court, duh, she would handle a night court?
The petitioners and assorted nobles filed out. My guard was still beside me and shook his head when I looked to the door. "Barny?" My attention was grabbed, Celestia's voice would brook no interruptions and disallow distraction.
"Y-Yes Princess Celestia!" My words tumbled out, sounding at least half an octave high. Just my luck, after replying the pain flared again and worse as I felt the worst possible part of my affliction hit. My bowels loosened a little.
"This human is sick, will it catch?" Luna asked, not of me. I shook my head in embarrassment and self-recrimination. I couldn't look either in the eye. The guard beside me tried to support me, but even he knew something was quite wrong. "Do you require medicines? Some others who came before us, here, mentioned requiring such."
"I do… they don't help much, but… they keep some of the pain away, keep it from getting worse faster." I still couldn't look, which was the worse thing. They were perfect, royalty, important. A bright golden glow seemed to radiate around my face and I felt my chin tilted upwards.
Celestia's horn was glowing. "Tell us, human. How is it your world's medicine couldn't help you? Others have told us stories of near miracles performed with your technology."
"Not… your highness. Not for this. No cure, no understanding. My body is trying to eat itself, the best they can do is blunt its teeth." I gave a soft whine then, my body reduced the pain a moment, but I lost more dignity.
"How long have thou suffered under this yoke?" Luna's demand was filled with an emotion I had heard before. Pity. I could handle most others, but that was a bad one and I could feel my eyes well with tears.
The grip on my chin was released. I dropped my gaze down, wetness dripping down my nose. "How long? Tell us. Be truthful."
"Ten… a third or so of my life." I sagged almost to the floor, the guard trying to shore me up as best he could but I must have been like a sack of grain to him.
Her next words weren't directed at me, but rather her sister. "A human doth not deserve this. Nor any creature." The words flew over my head, I heard them before, I lived them. "Human," Luna was turned back to me now, "if you could give this to another, for them to carry thy burden."
"No, no please don't do that!" It was the one thing that would cut through my pain, my self-anger. I wasn't religious, even before having two 'deities' before me, but I had a standard I tried to hold myself to. They had magics. They could probably transfer it. I long ago said I would never wish this upon my worst enemy. That didn't change now.
Darkness washed over me, not true darkness, but Luna's magic. The pain was eased a little and she gave me back some dignity. "Sist-" Her words were cut off.
"Luna, no. Those are last resorts." Celestia's words carried, even to my ears, a slight sadness of errors made. "I will call on my protege, she might have some insight, in the meantime, let us see if our own physicians have a better understanding of this."
More of the pain left and I lost my focus. It was the best I had felt in years and all it took was a magical pony.
I woke, however, to the pain returned. "Ugh, wha..." Someone was poking me in the belly, agony was what had brought me from Luna's spell.
"Oh, you're awake! This will make things much easier!" A smiling unicorn, no. The pain was still there but my smile returned. My real smile. Twilight Sparkle, in the very excited pony-flesh. Her wings partially blocked the lights above me but, as she seemed to calm down they lowered and ruffled adorably back to her side.
How did the fans ever think her being an alicorn would be bad? She was much more expressive with wings. "Easier, p-please don't push there, that… hurts a lot." The mare lifted her hoof off.
"Oh, sorry. But this is good. Why is it sore, do you know?" I felt her magic probing around, it wasn't any sense of movement, or touch, just…
My brain raced, despite the odd sensation and pain. "You know… you know how there are tiny things, that can hurt you?" Her surprised look and nod told me she at least understood a bit of what I was talking about. "A human body… pony too probably, has tiny little soldiers inside that fight them, stop them from being a problem in a healthy body."
Her head tilted, but I knew one thing about this little mare. She was wicked smart. "Oh, so those aren't working right? You need to have the bad things burnt out? I can do that with mag-" I wanted to let her go, but she had it backwards.
"No, princess, the other way. My soldiers are… easily excitable. They pick fights with other parts of me." I pointed to my lower belly. "They think those parts, inside me, are the enemy."
Her wings flew up at this. "But, the enemies… oh, that doesn't sound good at all. Should we feed them, make them happy?"
"Our science, they used medicines to, to quieten them down, make them less excitable." I tried to keep the metaphor going, it was a good one.
She shook her head. "Not a solution at all, it would be like pulling the teeth of timber wolves. They aren't going to bite you anymore, but they cannot protect the forest from worse things, either." My smile told her all she needed to know. "So your science couldn't calm them… or had to balance the calming them. What happened if you got bad things in you?"
My raised eyebrow was all she needed to make the quick connection.
"You got more sick, of course. Well, what about retraining them?" Her magic, only observing so far, seemed to tense at one place and I felt some relief from pain. A page and quill floated over to her, summoned in her magic.
Oh boy, I warranted a list.
"That, what did you do?" I couldn't believe it, morphine hadn't worked this well. Had she cured me that easily?
"I told your nerves to stop, so I could work. It normally wouldn't work, but there are only a few there." I lay back. I could feel tugging. I could feel the sensation that there would be a lot of pain, if not for her magic.
I let Twilight do her thing because, after being poked and prodded in a regular hospital what was this indignity. It was then I noticed my shirt was off and amazingly, carefully folded to the side.
Twilight's voice sounded strained. "That is all very odd. You are certainly right about that army, but they are attacking everything. I gave them a little boost at first..." I shuddered a little at what that would mean for me. "I stopped them quickly, fixed what they broke. But this isn't going to be a simple task."