Putting on a Silver Robe and Wizard Hat

by David Silver


259 - Propriety

Heavily armored cats marched in proper formation, protecting the sultan and his guests, and keeping any of them from wandering away as a happy coincidence. Silver could see heads were bowed at their procession, but people were not throwing themselves completely prostrate for the occasion. He wondered a moment if that was a habit or if they would if this were a more formal moment.

To his left walked his new bodyguard, her claws extended but her gait otherwise relaxed. On his right, Nefertari gave no hints of being bothered by the sultan's presence. "I saw you looking at her," she casually reminded, spotting his glances. "Stop it."

Silver frowned softly. "The more you bring that up, the more you force me to consider it. Eventually I will feel compelled to rebel against your constant nagging, and then where will we be?" He considered to himself quietly then. Would his old human self taken that stand? He had changed during his stay in Equestria, but that was life, right? To die every night and be reborn as someone new but related every morning.

Sheba turned up half a smile. "And here I thought you two were happy together."

Silver turned an ear towards her. "We are, but that doesn't mean we are in perfect agreement."

Nefertari smirked at Sheba, suddenly leaning against Silver as she watched her. "You do realize the sultan is not shy about extracting information from enemy agents."

Sheba lifted her shoulders. "I would be terrified, were I one of those. I am in the employ of a prince of Equestria, which makes me far from an enemy agent. Unless he wishes to anger the ponies, he will treat me with the minimum of courtesy."

Silver shook his head, eyes turned forward to watch the city pass them in their slow march. "As your employer, I trust you will assist them, and us, get to the bottom of this. Equestria has no interest in genocide for any reason."

The palace of the city rose up ahead, closing in with its stately golden spires and statues large enough to make out even behind the walls of the place. It was clearly designed to impress, and it did a fair job of it in its massive splendor. They passed under gates that showed no signs of wear into a courtyard where life led a full riot of color, though sharply organized to make it clear that it was under the sultan's power.

Exotic flowers sprang in stately rows and patterns in clear defiance of any natural order they would have chosen for themselves. Water flowed despite the desert climate, trickling down from finely carved statues in a display of wealth. Not a single person seemed to be using them. They were there for show first.

The guards began to spread out a little further, perhaps more confident within the confines of their palace. The sultan looked back from his high perch. "It is time for even I to walk. We have business, inside." He sprang from his perch and landed on all fours, his limbs bending to cushion the fall well. "Oof, still better than waiting for a ladder." He patted himself as he rose to his feet. "Prince, you are... covered in some manner of filth. I would have you clean before we begin our conversation."

Silver glanced down at himself. He hadn't changed that since being a human. Cleanliness was not his highest priority. Still, that gunk was keeping him blind to the world and locking away his magic. "Thank you. Where should I do that?"

"I'll have a guard show you." He turned away. "I'll begin working on our captured queen while I wait."

Silver took a quick step forward. "Wait! She is my bodyguard, to remain at my side. Please be patient a moment longer. I will clean as quickly as I can."

He didn't turn back, but laughed softly. "The same woman who almost slew your wife? You have curious habits, foreign prince." He raised a hand, still facing away from them. "Take her then, I will entertain myself with conversation with the one she assaulted."

Nefertari winced, realizing that meant Silver would be alone with Sheba, but propriety demanded her presence. She had avoided the gunk, and had less reason to be bathed immediately. Even her struggles had left her far less worse for wear, her injuries stinging, but hidden under her soft pelt. "Be good," she hissed at Silver before moving forward to join the sultan. "Perhaps a game of chess? It's been too long."

A guard folded a hand over her chest before unfurling it in the direction of a building nearby. "The baths, Your Royal Highness, Prince of Equestria." She turned away and began leading them towards the marble structure that had stone snakes wrapped around the top fringe.

Silver moved to follow. "You can call me Silver."

"I will do no such thing, Your Royal Highness." She smiled despite her refusal. "The Sultan would flay me were I to agree to such an uncivil thing and to claim such intimacy with a foreign royal body."

Sheba nudged against Silver. "I have learned just how improper he is. I feel I will still be shocked as the truth comes to light, hmm." Her eyes swept over the gold and silver touched frame of the archway that led into the bath. "My ancestors built such lovely things..."

Silver could hear resentment there and returned the bump, which seemed to get Sheba looking forward again. "I'll keep the bath short."

"The sultan," corrected the guard. "He has instructed you be cleansed, and you will be. You will bathe as quickly as the attendants complete their task. Please do not shame them in not permitting them to do as they have been ordered." She snapped her fingers smartly as they entered the main chamber of the building, steam washing over them in a soft mist. "Cleanse the visiting dignitary, by order of the sultan, long may he reign."

Several cats turned to see the order being given and the large pony it referred to. They bowed in unison. "Long may he reign," they echoed all at once, then they advanced on Silver with bright smiles.

"I will be outside. Please ensure the comfort of His Royal Highness, Prince of Equestria." The guard took her leave as the attendants crowded around Silver in a fawning mass.

To his surprise, they didn't guide him towards one of the tubs, Instead wet rags were pressed against him and the scrubbing began. They were cleaning him manually, delicate hands roaming his form with no shame or hesitation to ensure he was rid of every trace of impurity.

"Prince of Equestria?" asked one of the attendants as she worked. "I had heard their princes were nothing special, but you have crushed that rumor flat, Your Royal Highness."

Sheba snorted from where she sat on the pillows, watching the process. "Do be sure to get every portion."

The attendants did not reply to her. She was not their responsibility, not someone of any rank high enough to command their attention. One was buffing Silver's horn, rubbing it with a soft cloth to make it shine. "What an impressive horn, Your Royal Highness, are you a talented wizard?"

"How unlearned," chastised another of the attendants. "He is their diplomat, able to win people to the Equestrian side and expand his harem as he does so."

Another attended tittered at the thought. "Will he claim us?"

"You should be so lucky. Focus on the task at hand."

Silver wasn't sure how to feel, having them all talk about him as if he wasn't there. They were being thorough and seemed to know their job well. He squirmed as they worked on sensitive portions. "Misses, I am a diplomat, but I'm not hurrying to 'expand my harem.'"

One attendant elbowed the one that had suggested it. "You have offended His Royal Highness!"

She fell to her knees almost instantly, her forebody following in a total submission. "Forgive me for my improper suggestion! I meant it... Nevermind, I was not thinking and deserve what punishment you mete."

Silver looked down at her, ears perked and confusion on his face. "What are... the usual things done in this situation? I am not familiar with the customs of this land and don't want to be rude."

One attendant, scrubbing his cheek and working up over his ear, leaned in. "You could strike her, once, with the flat of your hand. That would be a mild rebuke."

Silver's ears flipped back despite the hands on them. Slap the attendant?! That was not a thing he wanted to do. He raised a hoof and she winced. It was a mild thing, a subtle thing, but a thing he noticed. He brought the hoof to her cheek, pressing the frog of his hoof to the side of her face. "Would I offend if I gave a proper Equestrian admonishment?" When the attendants shook their head, he leaned in and nipped one of her ears.

She gasped, more out of surprise than anything else, which is what he had hoped for. He did not press hard enough to cause any harm. "Please be more careful," he gently whispered to her before righting himself.

The attendant rose and resumed her duties, that ear folded back. The others worked, their chatter resuming, but not bringing up the idea of Silver's harem again. When Silver was clean enough for their liking, he had been stripped of every ounce of his clothing, shoes and saddlebag spirited away to be cleaned, or so they claimed. They had not returned and he was being nudged towards one of the baths.

"I am clean," weakly protested Silver as he was shepherded along.

"You are not clean yet," insisted one of them, gently waving at the waters. "Trust us, Your Royal Highness, we will ensure that you are at your best."

Into the water he went, losing the will to argue the fact, lest one of them collapse in defeat and request to be punished for that failure. If it was their job to give him the full treatment, there was little harm in it. Nefertari was playing chess, and Sheba was safely watching him with amusement in her eyes. The water was warm, but not painfully hot. It chased at the tensions in his flesh that the attendants were quick to help send into a full flee as their skilled hands pressed and beat on him, massaging a little roughly, but it was a nice beating once the surprise ran its course.

Coolness touched him. They were spreading aromatic gunk onto him in a thin layer above and below the water, working it into his fur as they rubbed and worked diligently. "Your mane is so fetching when its properly cleaned and worked. You should reprimand your stylist, Your Royal Highness."

Silver had no stylist, which meant he was his own stylist. "I will see that he fully understands the scope of his failure," he assured with a wry smile. "May I see what you're doing?"

A mirror sprang into view, allowing him to see his finely groomed mane, worked into soft curls on either side of his head. "I never considered curls," he murmured to himself, unsure of the look. He realized they were all looking at him, waiting for approval or denial. "I'll enjoy experimenting." he said with a smile. "Thank you for the new look."

The relief was palpable as they resumed their cleansing.

At last, he stepped towards Sheba, clean, clothed, and scented. He looked as if he had not participated in a few battles that day. An attendant swept a hand over him. "I present His Royal Highness, Prince of Equestria," she spoke with all the pomp due of the situation, even if it was only to Sheba, a female of no special rank.

Sheba brought her paws together in a soft clapping. "Very nice. Now, shall we be off?" She sprang to her feet. "Guard! We're ready to see the sultan."