A Thief with a heart of a substance better left unsaid wakes up in Equestria after a unlucky turn of events. How will a jaded, world weary human get along with cheery, naive Ponies?
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Chapter!! Commence reading in 3...2...1!
After reading: ... I dunno. Pretty sure that this isn’t going to end well...
That twist ending to the chapter just feels wrong and out of left field...
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
1:31_3/21/2018
that was an experience.
8810152
I was originally going to write a filler chapter for the two year time gap, but it sounded more and more tedious the more I thought about just writing another chapter for the sake of driving Twilight insane. I wanted to get the Equis Arc over with, and fluffing it with another ten thousand words would have taken a few hours of struggling to find stuff for them to do. Max has always skipped over the boring political stuff, and when nothing happens, he doesn't write about it. I should probably look into the next few chapters to make sure I don't get blindsided by what's going on.
8810243
Did you gain experience points?
Reality Warping Powers?
All those Experiments to be done, on those who are still alive.
I always thought that God was an asshole, but one who still cared a little. But now, after this, he's a full on asshole.... if he seriously did this just to get back at Max then he isn't thinking clearly, this is obviously going to blow up in his face and Max is who is going to be caught in the explosion.
8810567
i agree i was ok with how he acted before this because it was interesting now i dont even know if i want to keep reading i hate what he did so much
8810723
No keep reading because I sense a mega boss fight in the very near future.
Please don't say null ever again unless you have an intimate understand of computer science. No offence of course.
Also... Twilight, that's too far. I mean fuck, I actually had to put the book down for a moment. How long is this arc going to last? Damn this is getting annoying. This story should have ended a while back that way you didn't need to have all this filler...
I dont Know how to feel about this, i mean i like the chapter but the change in twilight and the assholery god did, yes i Know its not a Word but i dont really Know how to put it, it was weird and i made me feel really bad for máx and twilight.
Like she is not herself anymore and that like máx said, she is now getting controlled by something bellow god and above discord and god is Being an ass and allowing it for amussment
8810567
The course is plotted. Events have been set in motion. It's all got it's purpose to Cap G, and please do understand that God was always this much of an asshole. After all, he's the guy who let the crimes Max did his part to erase exist in the first place.
8810731
Thank you for the feedback. I really do try to make every cahracter have their own life beyond A Thief's Tale, thinking up little parts of their lives that shaped them into who they are after getting their speech patterns down. Glad to hear I've been doing it toing it.
8810848
It really should have, but Brume du Brume isn't permanent. She comes back outside of certain situations, but I'm pretty sure she's gone within a couple chapters. I just needed to set her up to knock down a few more pins.
A Thief's Tale ends at Chapter Seventy-Three: Dawn
and I've got a decent understanding of HTML and C++ dammit!
8810914
Kaid got/i] unconditional love, it's just not all it cracked up to be early on.
True's true.
8810917
The pieces are falling into place, and if it makes you feel any better, things could have been worse, knowing my propensity to casually toss crimes against humanity into my work.
8811139
I have an understanding of swift, c++, c, java, Javascript, c#, assembly, etc., The list is a bit too long really... Not to brag or anything but most com sci people will have a good understanding of 2 or 3 languages but able to code in about 10 languages.
Having her appear again is weird. I don't even understand why Max still loves her besides the covenant thing. Then again I don't believe in true love. Blume.. or whatever the fuck her name is-- is just so different. And all of this feels really fake.
You have a fantastic way with words but the direction of the story, it's falling apart for me.
8811180
There's a huge tonal shift in the end of Chapter Seventy that carries throughout the rest of the story since reasons. I wish you felt differently, but I can safely say that Brume is gone (As for RTR) by the end of Chapter Seventy-One. I really wanted to go more into depth with the story; keep up the struggle, but there's a reason it's ending in a few more chapters. It's time to move on, and that was the mindset I carried after the Equis Arc. I still think Seventy is good, Seventy-One needs work, I forget how I feel about Seventy-Two, let alone what's in the damn chapter, and Seventy-Three was painful to write due to the 'Little Ann/Old Dan' feeling of putting down something I love.
8811406
I am still going to finish this story of course. It is one of the top stories I have ever read. This is like a bad breakup, I still love this and I will continue to stalk the shit out of this but something was lost, hopefully, by the end, I will get it back.
8810848
With all due respect since when null became a word that only people intimate with computer science can use? Many branches of science utilize this word including even genetics and not all programming languages actually have a null keyword for an empty value. As for example Python used 'None' instead, in other languages it could be 'nul' or 'nil' and as special kind of fuckup current versions of Oracle DB treats an empty string as a null value even though Oracle themselves not sure that they'll keep it as-is in the future and typeof null in JavaScript is 'object' (it's a bug left for backward compatibility).
Also there is a phrase 'null and void'. And it was kind of expected to encounter 'null' further in the text after that 'Nullum' from Twi.
Transformation were uncanny, thought, and throwing a god power in the mix with her temporary insanity were a dick move from a Capital G. But I'm not really sure that it will stick for a while since Twi is his Favorite and as he told bad things are for the Chosen Ones. Also, throwing Discord's power on Twi is a blessing in disguise for both of them since she is a goddess now, which means she actually immortal and can stand by Max's side forever instead of slowly aging as alicorns do here and eventually die of old age or some OP bullshit like another Tirek in the future. Well, Max kind of jinxed her and himself when asked Allmighy to make Twi less susceptible to being captured. God declined his request on words, but actually delivered. ;)
8811482
You don't need to explain to me about null, nil, none, etc., I am surprised that Oracle DB would treat an empty string as a null value that is really weird especially to my 5 years of Java development. I am not saying that you only need to be a com sci person but usually null is used primarily by computer scientists since I haven't heard of it much in other fields.
Does this make sense to you? I feel like null is not really used correctly here, it just doesn't flow properly. Plus I believe null is a very "strong" word, it's a finisher like a period when you say it.
wasn't Twilight speaking Alicin when she said nullum?
8811469
Here's hoping the magic comes back, Eh?
8811557
I was met with an empty/void-like bliss, if that explains it. Max's mind was turned to mush, essentially
8811557
Well, I do agree regarding the phrase. It feels kind of weird. Could be a failed alliteration, but I'm not a native speaker.
And Alicin is Latin and null came from nullus. They are quite alike for null to pop up later on because reasons. Quite tempting to use. >_<
8811584
should have said that instead, that flows so much better, then again mushy brains don't make good grammar.
Also, you might like the word bully, there are a lot more definitions for it than I have known. google define bully and you'll see what I mean. I mean, it can be used as an adjective.
8811600
Yeah, in English short words tends to have as many meanings directly and in combinations as there are stars in the sky and also pretty much everything could be either used as a verb or turned into one. ^_^ 'Bully' as adjective or even an exclamation (according to Google Translate) were quite unexpected, though. Didn't know.
8811648
Same, quite a shock really. I found out after browsing through Wattpad and one story had the def of bully as a sweetheart... So yeah.
8811660
That's probably because it came from either Dutch or German and meant 'a lover' there. Found this tidbit of information here https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bully when were looking for definitions. There is a reason why you have to learn English all over again if you want to read Shakespeare in original after all. I can't yet even though it's not even a Middle English.
my
8811150
Sad but true
8811128
Yes, I understand that.... but I just can't wrap my head around why he would do this, because it seems like this won't end well for anyone at the moment. I guess all i can do is wait for you to release then next chapter and pray everything turns out fine for Max in the end.
I got a baaad feeling about this.
BTW, Casper Magic, I highly recommend to use LanguageTool browser extension (either with languagetool.org or languagetoolplus.com) to check your spelling and catch some other things like 3 consecutive sentences starting with the same word or a missing comma, like in the very first paragraph of chapter 69. BTW, a lot of missing commas before " so " all over the chapter, or after "Because" or "Of course" at the beginning of the sentence. Unfortunately it can't check large blocks of text without premium account and doesn't know a lot of pony words (for the obvious reasons, so you'll have to add them to the local dictionary). However, it really helps to catch stuff like words which are normally hyphened (force fed, old fashioned, pent up, eighteen hour, air conditioned, decision making, double cross, sky high), "as the best" (in text "the" is missing), "or you could try and→to resist the tides of change", "upstart sapien→sapient", "sucked all of the smoke into its confines" ("of" is not necessary here), "but you’re using you’re using→your people", "You could argue that they’re one in→and the same", "Chartreuse" (I bet you meant a color here, same as with "Beige"), "charity is world wide→worldwide", "Chrysalis" (and that in her own mail, her own sign!), "Were awful.." (missing a dot here, I'd recommend to use "…" character when you can), "humour" (Max uses British English in his journal as I understand), "we have came to the conclusion that is is→the best if thou taketh thine leave" (not sure should be "the" or something else, but clearly not another "is"), "endeavours" (once again, it's a Max's journal and you mix British with American English), "I did a lot of thinking and it lead→leads me to believe"… and a metric fuckton of other things and a few missed words in American English since I've used wrong dictionary by default for a while while were checking. And all of that just through the chapter 69 and I haven't finished checking it since it's tedious as fuck with 2500 words limit in a free version of a Language Tool Plus.
Still amazing tool, though.
8812687
Fuckin' if ya wanna help edit, I'll give you a hug, man. So far from what I've read, for a non-native speaker of the language, ya fuckin' know more about it than me and you've caught more of the mistakes than me or my editor have. Your time and consideration is valued, as well as your eye for detail. Thanks for giving a damn about A Thief's Tale. Languagetool has been downloaded and I tend to catch more details now than in the past, but still. It'd be nice to have someone with your aptitude for catching the little stuff looking over my 'babies'.
8813392
That's mostly not me, but LTP, man. It's really that amazing. Not all recommendations it gives worth to be followed as with any tool, but it tends to give good ones more often than bad ones or at least points you to suspiciously looking stuff. I do a lot of reading, though. It helps to understand suspicious stuff just by looking at it, but things as missing letters are easy to overlook without a good tool. I love reading and would be glad to help, but most of the time I'm reading from my snarkpone and it's the worst possible tool for anything but reading. I may give it a try and go over smaller things while they are to be able to catch up later on when they aren't, but going over 1kk+ words even in 2500 blocks is close to being suicidal and I'm not suicidal, and not sorry for that. I guess you'll understand.
8813647
I do. Phones are terrible instruments and I rarely enough use mine to do anything more than reply to comments with brief enough answers. I'll go through and start making corrections as more issues get pointed out
BTW, what kept Max from stealing whatever spell were placed at Twi? I mean he can steal whatever he want that's not in Heavens and don't belong to Capital G. Were he just being retarded or something? This question were bugging me through the entire honeymoon arc. In fact why he even need healing magic if he can steal the damage? Yes, his True Theft is that absurd since it can steal literally anything and concepts aren't excluded. I also didn't get why he were punished for healing Lost Legacy. He wasn't dead yet when Max started healing and he wasn't dying by natural means. Did he used his god power for healing and were punished just for the mere fact of using it or Max was stupid enough to pour extra power into him as he did with Granny and Blue? O_o
I'm not even sure will it be "playing a God" if he start stealing illnesses and traumas and shove them into the Sun from everyone on his way. I guess the only reason he didn't proposed Twi to steal her mental disorder from her when she first told about it because that will be altering her personality. Not sure why he didn't proposed to steal all the extra loneliness from her, though. He was fine with siphoning her sadness, pain and grief to help her feel better even when she was at fault. Siphoning or stealing extra loneliness from her would be the same. Is it because they agreed that he would never siphon any hard feelings from her ever again? I do remember she told him that she would figure out a way to siphon them back if he wouldn't stop doing so all the time, but that was it. On the other hand the earlier she deal with her madness is for the better and being far from home and friends "helped" with that.
8814437
Max can only steal what he understands. He could have bent time and prevented Twilight from ever even being kidnapped in the first place, but he doesn't get it. He's never been able to steal curses, spells, or other forms of Magic post-use since in my canon, Magic is altered when it's cast. If Max was Kaid, then it'd be absolutely no problem up until the fact that it's God's Magic, and God doesn't want him to do shit.
As far as Max 'stealing damage', then that makes no sense to me. Max's power is to steal, to remove, not create/heal. Say if someone were to get a cut: Max could steal the pain, or the blood from the wound, but he would have no way of patching them up with True Theft since he just couldn't. The only thing Max could do with True Theft would be clean/cauterize the wound with stolen fire.
Max got punished for healing Legacy because it was his time to go. Legacy was meant to die. By the same train of thought, you could argue that Granny Smith shouldn't have counted either.
As far as Twilight's voices, Max doesn't understand schizophrenia, full stop, and since Twilight's head is magically fucked, he wouldn't have been able to do shit without Discord's Magic. I think you're overestimating Max's abilities with True Theft. With emotions and instincts, Max has free reign because he has them and the Magic itself gave him that knowledge, but it's not like it ever gave him more knowledge than just that.
When speaking of Twilight's loneliness, Max did everything he knew to do to help her with it, she just isn't as mentally tough as him, and that's been proven before. Twilight's a creature of love and friendship, and no amount of Max's help could change that. Twilight's some kinda fuckin' soft, my mans, and she was already getting close to losing her shit as evidenced by her seemingly casual acceptance of the fact that Max killed far more people while fighting on the frontlines than he did in Esteril. She's been close to her Alicorn Insanity and has been growing closer ever since she got kidnapped. Applejack would have lasted longer out of the girls, and Rainbow would have put up a similar fight, but Twilight's never been mentally stable. Caring, kind, and compassionate, but not quite all there in the head.
8814637
> As far as Max 'stealing damage', then that makes no sense to me.
Well, that depends on how wrong your look at the reality is. In my understanding the less Max attached to the way things normally go the more he can do. Now imagine that being cut is a state of an object, so if someone cut an object the object will remain the same, but in a cut state. So, if you steal that state from it the parts should immediately reattach since now they never has been cut anymore. You just have to imagine a cut itself separately from an object. Well, could be too crazy of an idea and might be too close to straight reality warping. And stealing time from an object might do the same thing (which Max is not capable to do yet, but quite close already as I understand).
> Max got punished for healing Legacy because it was his time to go. Legacy was meant to die. By the same train of thought, you could argue that Granny Smith shouldn't have counted either.
I do remember that Max mentioned that he knew that she has to die that night since he could see/feel she were supposed to leave. That gave him idea to check what's wrong with her and heal her. However, I don't remember anything like that regarding True Legacy. He just drop and broke his spine. Since Max were there and saw him drop, and knew that such drop could break a spine and that's deadly, and he felt how Legacy were dying on the ground because he heard his pulse (? don't remember exactly) that means that he was meant to be there to notice that in the first place. And that is the difference. Otherwise it means that a doctor which heals a deadly (but not _immediately_ deadly) wound with some tech or magical bullshittery which can keep wounded person alive long enough for the wound to heal will get the same sentence even though that doctor just saved a life! That doesn't seem right to me like at all.
> I think you're overestimating Max's abilities with True Theft.
Guess your right, but I'm not quite sure that I'm overestimating the possibilities of the skill itself.
8810723
Yeah I agree with you on that.