A Thief with a heart of a substance better left unsaid wakes up in Equestria after a unlucky turn of events. How will a jaded, world weary human get along with cheery, naive Ponies?
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I lost it at the end, well done. Honestly, Im surprised Twilight didn't go find her dad and go off on him
I enjoy large chapters in stories, it's one of the reasons I enjoy this and the "wolf among ponies/caribou" series
8273485
Glad to hear that I fit the right niche
Now I really want a quick update
Dobby is free! For my current amount of spare mental faculties, that is all.
Hail Hydra.
Great chapter I love the Harry Potter reference
do you watch its always sunny in philadelphia
That ending was just priceless, I love it.
8274147
I do not
8274231
why?
God I wish for when you still had chapters in waiting, those were the days. Still brilliant as ever, I'd love to see his group comeback and be his "Elite Force" as it were in the upcoming war
Well, firat things first, that was a well writen chapter, that shows Maxs first steps in becoming a prince. It was nice to see how he got everyone to start agreeing with him and following his rule.
Other then that? I kinda find this chapter to be a filler chapter and not much else. Take the last chapter, we got so much new info that really made it worth something.
Though the last part bugged me. Did Max just make a refrence to harry potter or was it something more then that? Did he really find a way to be funny at that time or did his descent into madness already start?
But anyways, i still read the shit out of this chapter and enjoyed it immensely.
8274264
I think it's one of the flat out stupidest, least enjoyable pieces of media I've ever had the displeasure of wasting my medamn time on
8274283
With the slowed down release schedule has come a more relaxed attitude toward the story. Now that I don't feel as pressed to get a story pumped out, I pick up the pace some days and let myself slip on others. Last week was a pretty good week since I got two chapter done.
8274474
I wouldn't call it filler so much as clearing Max's training from my milestones. A lot of important shit happened, a few important people were met, and hopefully shit continues going well.
The harry Potter reference was a combination of Max seeing parallels between his suffering and Dobby's and him going a little mad. The guy's under some mad stress.
i dont get the ending was he implying that they gave him a day off but changed their minds and trained him anyway
When I read this I just have the feeling of foreshadowing that a sertern human may become a alucorn in the late future
8274616
i think its funny
im gonna break in your house
tie you to a chair
and make you
watch every season of
its always sunny in philadelphia
8275522
I'll nail you to a cross with thumb tacks and patience. Fuck with me
8275992
:)
8276063 River Song is a Warriors reference.
It smells like protein.
8276744
Damn, I was hoping it was a reference to Doctor Who.
Fuck me, I ran out of chapters.
8280740
Chapter Forty-Four will come Monday. I hope you enjoy it when it rolls around
8281110
Monday cannot come faster.
Once again, me likey this chapter. "Those ancient whores lied" is going in my happy memory drawer for quite some time
I hope your planning on doing a spin-off of twilight's journal that would be awesome
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqa7W-_Snbo
This is now my favorite chapter in the whole story.
So much stuff...kinda sad about Night Light. He was a cool "begrudging then accepting" father in law. Now he's a roid rage dickbutt.
Also feel sorry for Max too, though at least he's got some good guard friends.
Wondering what Bluebloods been up to, if he was able to get his horn attached and working, etc.
Also wondering if when he figures out his dimensional "fuck you, yoink" thieve skill, if he'll try to pilfer the panties right off someone during a conversation once XD
Shining armor, Cadance being introduced to the league of evil ancient asshattery, and so on...
You really know how to jam pack a metric fuck ton per chapter, you do.
9008402
Yeah, it did end with some good zingers! :P
9624518
Parents generally get irrational when it comes to the daughter
"Comrade, we do the fifty-nine, yes?" Boris the Soviet Love-Hammer asked.
Max shook his head. "I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit."
In fairness, you have to consider that a novella, as in a short novel, ranges from 30k~60k words and I've written chapters in the middle of that more often than not, I believe. This is basically 1.5x as long as the Harry Potter series, so... I really need to edit this and make it my own damn IP, but I don't know how antro-sex torture/murder and criemz agenst hoomanitee
Oh... well then, ... that was unexpected
ohhhhhhhh he be pissed now, XD
I love Max but at this point he’s less of a human and more of a dog, to be specifically Twi’s dog. The worst part is that it isn’t twilight’s fault. Max love has become quite sickly, I don’t think this shit is healthy at all and if you’re going where I think you’re going Max is gonna get a massive Bitch Slap by reality.
10270459
Man, at this point in the story it's almost not a spoiler to say a few things, but here go the tags
Max has abandonment and attachment issues out the ass. Almost everyone he's ever known has betrayed him one way or another, so when people prove to be worth the trouble, at least to him, he clings on to the point of writing letters to friends he hasn't seen in months or years. Once Max likes you, he'll do so much to fight and protect your name until you yourself ruin it. Even then, he'd rather help you pick up the pieces so he wasn't wrong to trust you. His co-dependence on Twilight? A big part of him being so mentally broken that being abused by his spouse barely even makes him mad, it just makes him sad because he feels like he probably deserved it.
That being said, glad you love Max and glad you feel for him. It's most of the point into writing this shit in, fam
Fucking hell, some of the best nicknames I've ever heard for Celestia and Luna
10760590
Lmao Molestia is an old one, to be fair
I only have one issue,humanity is an endurance species,literally no other creature can go as long as us,yes it would make sense the ponies would be faster but they couldnt keep that pace for long
10927456
Max isn't a cross-country kid of runner. He's a duck-and-dash sprinter and didn't have much legitimate cardio training at this point.
Also, wild horses/ponies can ez-clap 2-3 miles at full speed. Like, a dead sprint for 2-3 full miles. I dunno about you, but I don't think there are actually that many people that could out-pace a horse/pony that wasn't out of shape or sick, and even if there were people that could, it's not like they'd really stand that much of a chance running down a creature that can cross a state in a day and a half.
You're generally not gonna be wrong with that statement, but a horse isn't a predatorial species. They aren't cheetahs or wolves. Horses, deer, and the quick grazers all survive by being able to notice and out-pace their pursuers.