A Thief with a heart of a substance better left unsaid wakes up in Equestria after a unlucky turn of events. How will a jaded, world weary human get along with cheery, naive Ponies?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Any particular reason you're posting the rewrites at the end instead of just replacing the originals?
Asking for a friend...
10043894
Because I took a strawpoll and that's what people voted for. Most wanted the rewrites and OG's to be separate.
10043899
Fair enough. New to the story, so it just kinda threw me off where I should start. If the plot itself is more or less the same, I think I'll start with the rewrites.
10043990
As you should, it's partially the point of having them there
10044384
Canonically, Noir could destroy Luna, Nashoba, Celestia, Sombra, and and pretty much whoever else she wanted to if she really felt like it. The thing is that Tirek ate her Alicorn/True Magic and Noir's best weapon is fighting someone again and again until she learns their every thought, move, and reaction to the point where it's pointless to fight her because if it's done in less than 5 minutes, she can just get a do-over. Noir isn't scary because she heinously strong, which she is, she's scary because she's fought and killed you by the the time you actually get around to fighting her
10044402
That's basically what I understood from Noir. Seeing as how she used to fight people she's fought a thousand times before in the minds ape, it makes sense for her to fight the same person over and over again.
As for the rewrites, I might read them now. Fuck you for making me read new shit, but also Yay!
"Goddammit, Kaid, what the fuck are you even doing, mate? What the fuck have you done?" I don't remember Max regretting his fling with Fluttershy that much in the first edition, however, I might be just wrong and forgot a lot of what happened. What I do remember is that his relationship with velvet dies. Though, I don't remember him being too terribly upset by the fact.
I also forgot how nice it is to read this story again. The reality of situations--if not a little exaggerated--adds that much more depth to the feelings that are being thrown around. The subtle nuanced manipulation that happens is something that intensifies the plot. However, I find that you pack so much into these chapters with no downtime in between anything that the pace of the story is a little fast. Since half-way through the first chapter, I felt like I got onto a racing horse and haven't gotten off of it just yet. From one point to the next I can't seem to sit and think about what happened because the next moments are already full of more information that needs to be absorbed and processed.
I think one of the reasons that make the story faster than it should be is the fact that Max bearly sleeps, he runs around on fumes all while getting shited on by everyone else. It's a bit much too be honest with you. Roadblocks after roadblocks do make a story interesting and all but sometimes it's hard to get a handle on everything.
Anyways, I still haven't gathered enough thoughts on the ins and outs of the story just yet, so I'll come back a little later when I finish more chapters to right some more.
10178509
Oof, this is why I try not to refresh my page while on the story itself. Missing comments really fuckin' sucks, but better late than never.
Glad the realism is still intact with the intended touch of hyperbole, though the pacing does seem to be a pretty consistent problem when Max will just up and not sleep for days on end, like the Roxy chapters. I'll try to keep it in mind while transitioning from scene to scene, maybe add in some introspective soak time. A big way I think I could work on that would be shortening chapter lmao, but that's crazy talk.
Hopefully when more of the story is published here, I won't miss your damn comment