- Member Since 24th Feb, 2015
- offline last seen Last Friday
Ringtael
Don't waste time on reading this, you got stories to explore.
Ringtael
Joined 24th Feb, 2015 ·
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Sequels5
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Nice story so far.
5667530 Thanks. The next chapter should be up by sometime tomorrow.
Nice story, but please stop using parentheisis. You almost have zero reason to use them.
It's suppose to be
Granted, life hasn't been all honey and roses for me. I do make the most out of it, albeit with other people's belongings, but, I digress.
The commas take the place of parenthesis. If it's a thought, make it a seperate sentence, and if you wanna go farther put the thought in italics.
5668311 Thanks for telling me before I did the same thing in the next chapter! When I proofread, I'll make sure to keep that in mind
5668321 Yeah, other then that you did a fine job proofreading. I'm liking the story, so I'll countinue.
Why is looking up a skirt considered poor manners? These aren't anthros are they?
Edit: never mind I went back and reread it. My bad
5669650 It's fine, seeing as how the anthro body type deal was really just for convenience. The next chapter should be going up in a few hours, so be on the lookout
Your chapter needs a fixin', and no it's not heroin. This chapter has the most errors. 1rst was pretty much Gucci. Second had like 2-3. But this one, needs a little help. I can do it if you want. P.M. me, and I'll send you my email. Then you send me the chapter you want proofread and I'll do it within 1-2 days at most. If I can't do it in that amount of time I'll tell you before hand.
Time for positive comments.
I had forgot to mention earlier, but I like how Kaid's accent is implied, and not written in. Most of the time that people try to do that. It usually fails the intent it's trying to pull and just plainely makes it hard to read. So good job on that.
Also, Gg on the main characters' personality
5671277 I'd very much appreciate the help. I hate proofreading my own work for personal reasons, so having a fresh mind to help is worth its weight in platinum. I'll send that pm to you momentarily. I'll have the next chapter done Either later tonight or around noon tomorrow, so whenever it fits your schedule
As for your positive comments; I used to RP Big Mac so I got plenty of experience with shitty Apple family rp'ers, not to say they were all bad. It's just that the written in accent cripples the flow of the story and that's my main focus, so I try to include slang rather than the literal pronunciation. I also watch a lot of the Yogscast, and based Kaid's accent off of Sjin (accent, not voice)
The feels man THE FEELS!
Plez Moar
5703412 Working on a new Chapter as I type
5706522
Thank you!
Really enjoyed the flirting between Max and Celestia. I hope to see more soon.
5727140 If it's Popsicle, it's possible
That was both hilarious and sexy, good job!
s.mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-967088-1-mlfw484_1302296223924.jpg
5703412 new3.fjcdn.com/comments/Jesus+christ+_564c572be12e3c500eeb1c5ae67386ad.jpg
5771420 I enjoy the picture, but there's something you should know
Chapter 7 Incoming
broken ribs and he's okay with it.... wow don't think I could be that calm.
5774241 Magical hospitals do a lot to make a guy more not dead
5774246 however having to drag yourself there and still deal with pain not so much
5774352 Are you referring to getting to the hospital? That'll be cleared up in the minor edit I'm doing. Much thanks for the help though, I'm currently rereading for any more gaps in the story
Damn, that guy really had a bad day.
5774787 IT was going rather well until the near death, if I do say so myself. Small victories.
Well I hope the story continues updating.
How about a story where the human DOESN'T like them? Sons of bitches.
5923522 Tales of The Oppressed (I forget who wrote it at the moment) did a great job of illustrating the other side of the spectrum.
Ok this story has had me laughing so much it hurts. Excellent story so far. Can't wait to c what happens next.
Funny how Rainbow Dash is just waiting for something to come out of the Everfree forest before smashing into it. One would think she was doing this as a fun sort of sport. Like... "Wait at the entrance of the forest and kill any living thing that's not a pony that comes out of it." game. What fun!
This story is epic! Motrollestia approves!
Great story. I hope it still live's.
I'm not gonna lie, RD and AJ would have lost my friendship, Flutters would have lost my respect, and AJ would have earned being framed for sexual assault for this entire chapter, if that was me. I come to apologize for my mistakes, only to be nearly slain, with no fucking punishment for any guilty parties? Yeah, my special brand of cunning would be put to use, and AJ would be ruined; I'm a big believer in 'eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth'. As big a fan as I am for our favorite Apple horse, what she did, while remaining unremorsful? Fucking unforgivable.
Good chapter, the wait was worth it.
Ummm there's nothing written.
7819928 Fixed. There was an issue after I edited the chapter number, should be good to go now.
Cool chapter. I really hope there's more soon.
Okay, I'm happy for this chapter. Max and Luna's interaction was entertaining to see and the flirting scene with Celestia was funny to watch. Gotta say, learning about Max's past was interesting and I hope the next chaoter comes soon.
Awww c'mon! Blue balled again! You my friend are evil.
Man, thanks for the quick chapter. The scene between Celestia and Max was extremely hot, though I couldn't help but laugh at the ending. It's also nice that he and Luna made peace with each other and that he plans revenge on AJ for going overboard on him.
7822780 Blame Twilight, it's been her fault both times
Damnit!! Again? He got to satisfy two women but was still high and dry himself! I'm surprised he hasn't screamed in frustration yet.
Great chapter. I really like how Maximus joked and teased with Celestia while bonding with Luna. I'm also glad that Maximus pointed out that the incident with AJ in the previous chapter was disproportionate and that her feeling guilty isn't enough to earn his forgiveness. Overall, I loved this chapter.
This is fuckin awesome. Please keep up with your amazing writing skills.
OMG is Luna hiring Max for a job!
why is it all bolded?
7851223 Import issues. They will be fixed.
Edit: They have been fixed
7851245 Still bolded for me but that might be because of internet...
What's the point in telling your significant other anything if all she's gonna do is throw it back in your face? That was trust good ol sunbutt threw and I think she'll realize it hurt more than anything.
My god that was night light and twilight velvets house wasn't it. lol . He's so boned
It be bolded after celly's rant