Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

TWENAI JUAN!!! Pony #107 & 108: Ms. Cheerilee and Big Macintosh

Somewhere, in ponyville's park, the silent stallion named Big Macintosh sat in front of Ponyville's local teacher, Ms. Cheerilee. The sun was setting in the distance, and the two stared into each other's eyes.

"Big Mac?" Cheerilee asked

"Eeyup." The stallion replied

"I... just want to tell you something."

"Eeyup." She got closer.

"You... promise not to tell anypony?"

"Eeyup." She was nearly touching his muzzle.

"You... you have something stuck in your teeth."

"OH COME ON!!!" Deadpool yelled, popping out of the bush, recording the two. "F**K EACH OTHER!!! THIS WOULD'VE BEEN GREAT ON YOUTUBE!!!"

"WHAT THE-!?"

"Nope!" Big Mac yelled. Deadpool teleported next to the two.

"Come on!" Deadpool yelled, still recording the two "The cloppers need to see your own Big Mac, Big Mac!" The two ponies looked to each other and Cheerilee nodded. Big Mac turned around. "Oh yeah! Show everyone your-" The stallion, with a swift kick from his back leg, kicked Deadpool in his nuts!!! Deadpool screamed like a little b***h and fell to the floor, rolled into a ball, whimpering to himself.

"Eeyup." The stallion said.

"Did we go too far?" Cheerilee asked

"...My lower area!" Deadpool whimpered "My... diamonds... my joy... my homies... my n***as... my... my..."

"Your what?" Deadpool stood right up, almost as if nothing happened.

"DEEZ NUTS!!! HA!!! GOT EEM!!!"

That joke again?

Any joke can work until it's murdered by either Adam Sandler or overused on the internet!

It IS overused.

There's exceptions.

"Oh... I guess he's fine then." Cheerilee commented.

"Eeyup." Big Mac deadpanned. Deadpool teleported inbetween the two and grabbed both by the back of their heads

"NOW KISS!!!" Deadpool yelled "KISS LIKE IN MY FANFICS!!!" Cheerilee and Big Mac used all their strength to stop each other from kissing. They both stomped on Deadpool's feet, making the Merc let them go and fall to the floor with the 'When your legs don't work like they used to before' song bit playing.

"...ow." Deadpool simply said. Big Mac and Cheeilee backed away from the Merc.

"I'm so sorry for this," Cheerilee said "but I didn't invite him over. Did you?"

"Nope." big Mac replied

"Strange. Why is here?" Deadpool snapped his head backwards.

"TO GET YOU BOTH LAID!!!" Deadpool yelled. He stood right up and snapped his head back in place. "Though you both need help. Big Mac: you don't think you're the stud she wants to be. And you, Cheerilee, you don't think you're the mare you want him to be, right?" They both sweated, awkwardly smiled, and rubbed the back of their heads. "Luckily for you, I offer help! Let's go, big guy!"

"...What?" Big Mac asked. Deadpool teleported onto Big Mac's back, wearing a famous cowboy's outfit.

"RIDE LIKE THE WIND, BULLSEYE!!!" Deadpool slapped Big Mac in his plot, causing him to run with a horses whinny. "I'll make you sexy, Cheerilee!!!"

Big Mac and Deadpool stood in the field of Sweet Apple acres with Applejack and Applebloom.

"Alright," Deadpool said "we're just going through a montage to get this done. HIT IT!!!" Applebloom pressed the play button on a boombox and the beat to a certain Trey Parker movie played.

Deadpool

Crazy

Stuffy

All three

HEY!

What makes a man, is it the power in his hands?

Is it his quest for glory?

Give it all you've got, to fight to the top.

So we can know your story!

Now you're a man, a man, man, man! Now you're a man, a manly, manly man. A man, man, man. You are now a man, you're a man. Now you're a man!

LIVE IT, LIVE IT!

What makes a man, is it the woman in his arms?

Just cause she has big t*****s?

Or is it the way, he fights every day?

...No, it's probably the t*****s!

Now you're a man, a man, man, man. Now you're a ma-man, a ma-ma-ma-ma-man. Now you're a man, M-A-N man, man. man, man, maan. Now you're a man!

With Big Mac... looking relatively the same... Deadpool rushed over to Cheerilee, seeing her in the spa with the twins, Fluttershy, and Rarity!

"What are you doing to Miss Cheerilee?" Rarity asked.

"Helping her!" Deadpool replied, getting a bucket of water. "Now hold still!" He splashed the bucket of water all over Cheerilee, making her mane go down & wet. "And done!"

"...is that it?" Cheerilee asked

"You don't have boobs, so I can't help much more. RARITY!!! DRESS!!! This is our big night!"

Big Mac waited in the custodial, as Cheerilee entered, wearing a.. oh mama!

"Sexy, ain't it?" Deadpool asked

Uh... I usually don't say it... but... yeah... it is.

"So... you gonna do it?"

WHAT!?!? HELL NO!!!

"Your loss."

Uh... well... you're stupid!

"I ain't stupid!"

"Deadpool?" Cheerilee asked "Who are you talking to?"

"Nothing Cheerliee! ... I'll get back to you later."

Have fun with that.

"I must say," Cheerilee commented "You do have a strange taste in things."

"Well shucks!" Deadpool blushed

"Where did you get your education from?"

"Uh... downtown."

"...Downtown? Deadpool... did you... oh Sweet Celestia!" She ran to Deadpool and tackled him "You never went to school, did you!?"

"I did! I am smarter than the others!"

"Alright then, who was the leader of Equestria before Celestia!?"

"Um... Lebron James?"

"...No. What was the ancient fruit our ancestors ate before hay!?"

"Uh...Pears?"

"Wrong! One question left. What's 9 plus 10?"

Don't you dare say 21!!!

We won't, we'll go with the alternate.

NO!!! DON'T SAY-

"Eleven!" Deadpool answered. Cheerilee's eyebrows flattened.

"You're going to school tomorrow." She said.

"WHAT!?!?!? N-" Before he could do the Darth Vader 'no!' joke, Big Mac knocked him out.

"Thank you, Big Mac."

"Eeyup!" The stallion replied.

"Shall... we continue?" The two continued their date together, knocking out Deadpool out every once in a while.

"Eeyup."

Comments

[Fictional Fanatic]

Meh, works for me. + Deadpool will learn something new. Always a +.

[Sigmacipher]

Welp deadpool apparently never went to school. explains a lot actually.