Surprisingly, not really racist. Pony #16: King Sombra
After Deadpool and Discord's wonderful meal the two made together, Cadence was able to give Deadpool a room to stay for the night along with Twilight & her friends in their own room. Princess Celestia told everyone that she was going back to Canterlot, hopefully, to see if Luna needed her help and to do her responsible job of raising the sun. His room wasn't special: a simple wireframe bed, a shelf with a single lantern on it, some quills, pens, papers next to it, and a window showing the moon. He laid down on his bed and began to sleep, wondering who else he would take a Selfie with: Maud Pie, Coco pommel, Sonata, Weird Al pony, Sea-
"WE GET IT!!! MOVE ON!!!"
Oh... Excuse me for telling people your WAIFUS!!!
"SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP FOR ONCE!!!"
Fine... baby. Deadpool finally went to sleep, hopefully, he and Luna will get some quality time together.
"You mean Mooncheeks?"
Shut up, I'm telling this story. Though Deadpool went to sleep, a creaking noise was heard, and it woke him up! His room had been... altered a bit... and his vision was now a bit blurry. He got up and, taking the candle, investigated the creaking. With the open of the door, he saw that the rooms were slowly drifting apart, and the hallway was nearly pitch black.
"This way..." a faint whisper said to his left side. Curious, Deadpool followed the whisper, seeing the doors to the room now disappeared, and were replaced with picture frames, holding violent images of his past. His life as a child, life of a mercenary, the Weapon X program, surviving the 'Deadpool' wages, escape from Weapon X, various shenanigans with heroes & villains, Ryan Reynolds, his 7/10 video game, and the events he did in Equestria. All were there as he walked down with a dying candle.
"Quick Question."
Um... sure.
"Is this a parody to Batman: Arkham Asylum, where everyone's throat's are shoved with the tragic past cliche, or is this a parody to Amnesia?"
...A bit of both. Can we get to the story?
"Oh, right. To the people at home: I had to get an app that allowed me to break the 4th wall before I went to sleep. YOU CAN ENJOY ME MORE NOW!!!"
"These are images to the past," The same voice whispered to Deadpool "You've caused so much pain & agony, you don't deserve to live, but you can be of use to me."
"How so?" Deadpool asked, seeing the pictures disappear into darkness
"Easy: you must go and- HEY!!! STOP THAT!!! DON'T PRESS THAT!!!" A door with a taco on it appeared in a puff of smoke filled with confetti. Deadpool opened it and saw his two sides along with a grey unicorn that wore something of royalty, but had a red horn with green eyes & red pupils and his black mane was moving in a way similar to fire. The entire room they were in looked like Chipotle, minus the windows.
"HA!!! KING SOMBRA!!! REALY!?!?!?"
I know!!! HE FINALLY HAS A PERSONALITY!!!
Oh come now, he's alway had a personality.
"Really?" Sombra asked
Yes. You just stand, laugh menacingly and become a fart cloud
HA!!! YOU SAID 'CLOUD'!!!
"Ugh!" Sombra groaned "Why me?"
"Alright Sombra," Deadpool said, leaning on the wall, trying not to laugh "What's your offer?"
"I was going to give you a chance to use dark powers, but considering how I just found out YOU killed Tirek on your won, Never mind!!!"
"You wanted me to kill Tirek with Dark powers?"
"...Yes. Is there a problem?"
"Many: I'm too awesome for that, you're not threatening enough, Gak will get more screen time, Spikey Wikey will destroy you, there's no chimichangas involved, Discord is my best friend, Mane 6, Celestia & Luna, no weapons involved. Need I say more?"
"...No." His head fell onto the counter with a loud 'Thump!' "Ugh... These dark powers are useless, now that I see it." The two sides of Deadpool walked next to the depressed, evil king that had little to no character development.
Really? Can you give us a chance to tell us who you are?
Maybe you won't be so lame AFTER you tell us who you are.
"There's not much to say. I was a young stallion, wanted power, found a book that had spells of it, fought & lost my shadow, became corrupt, ruled empire for a good... 12 days, and was banished under the ice for 1000 years."
"That's it?" Deadpool asked
"Alright, it was technically 984 years and 2 months, but 1000 sounds more dramatic. And yeah, I had the dumbest way of trying to Retake my empire... kinda wish I was more focused on the plan rather than how I'm trying to terrify the crowd. Most embarrassing way to be defeated, you know?"
Yep. We were beaten by a chicken in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
While fending off a whole angry big top circus for killing THE RING LEADER!!!
"How are you so popular? Why do ponies love and fear you?"
"Easy as this:" Deadpool gave the instructions of being popular "Overact! LOOK!!! Random Music." the classic 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes' played out of nowhere "and be relatable!"
"...just like that?"
"Just like that!"
"Huh... never thought of that."
"A lot of villains are like that. Taco?"
"How come ponies everywhere assume that I enjoy Mexican food!?!?!? I HATE IT!!! I enjoy burgers!!!"
"Oh... aren't you of mexican heritage?"
"NO!!! I just chose Sombra from a dictionary because it sounded cool!"
"Oh. That make's sense. But listen, why not join us?"
"...Join you?"
"Yeah! I'm not in the mood for killing anything tonight, you seem... alright, and I think the princesses would enjoy another reformed villain. Talk to Discord, he'll help you out."
"Really? Why... thank you! I have no idea how to repay you!"
"2 ways: 1) A selfie."
"Oh! I've seen you done that! Of course!!!"
Can we get involved?
You just dropped us in thin air.
"F**K OFF!!!" Deadpool yelled. "Say Caballeros!!!"
"Caballeros?" Sombra asked with a confused smile. The pic was taken.
"Now my second."
"And what's that?"
"Boys?"
Yes?
Yeah?
"Hit it!" Deadpool pulled Sombra in between the three Pools. He snapped his fingers and all of them had sombreros and ponchos.
"Really?" Sombra asked
Just go with it.
It's really fun!!!
"Let's do this!!!" Deadpool yelled. Music began to play, and Sombra seemed to join them in their dance easily, though whatever happened, he seemed to have a lot of bad luck. The other Deadpool's joined him every now & then, but this is mostly him singing. "♫We're four caballeros, four gay caballeros! They say we are birds of a feather!!! We're happy amigos No matter where he goes, The one, two, three 'n' four goes, We're always together!!! We're four happy chappies, With snappy serapes, You'll find us beneath our sombreros!!! We're brave and we'll stay so, We're bright as a peso!♫"
"Who says so?" Sombra asked
"♫We say so! The four caballeros! ohhhh! We have the stars to guide us, Guitars here beside us, To play as we go!!! We sing and we samba We shout 'ay, caramba!♫"
"What means ay, caramba?"
"Oh yes, I don't know. ♫Through fair and stormy weather, We stand close together, Like books on a shelf!!!♫" Luna entered their dream, but stood in complete confusion. The 4 turned around and panted like dogs. "♫As pals though we may be, When some Latin baby Says yes, no, or maybe... it's Each man is for himself!♫" They all began to tackle each other! Luna, without any hesitation, teleported away! The 4 saw her disappear and quickly went back to their thing. "♫Ohhhh! Jalisco no the rajes!!!! Me sale del alma!!!! Gritar con color!!! Abrir todo le pecho Pa echar este grit Qué lindo es Jalisco Palabra de honooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor!!!♫"
Their song ended.
"Wow." Sombra commented "That was beautiful and, might I say, fun!!!"
We're like this EVERYWHERE we go!!!
"Really? What was that final verse?"
It's Spanish. It translates to "Jalisco do not back !!!! I get the soul !!!! Shouting with color !!! Pa chest will open all take this grit How cute is Jalisco word of honor !!!"
"...What does that mean?"
"I have no clue!" Deadpool responded. "Anyways, it was nice meeting you lil' Sombrero, hopefully, you'll be a side character in Season 5 or 6."
"Uh... thanks? A quick thing I wanted to say before you wake up."
"Yeah?"
"I... well... I took your body away and buried it somewhere"
"WHAT!?!?!?"
"And you may not want to move so fast when you wake up."
"YOU SON OF A B-" The dream ended like that.
NEW YEAR!!! NEW CHAPTER!!! I'm not so huge with Sombra, so this may be the most boring chapter. (way to go for 2015) Who should Deadpool meet next?
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Oh Deadpool your randomness is only matched by your unkillability. I do however think that Deadpool does not stand much of a chance against Alex Mercer/James Heller post Blacklight infection.
Tydal could dig him up qnd they could discuss ways to kill someone.
5449600 What does that mean they were weak before the infection.
(Deep sight) I get the shovel.(walk away to find it.)
Let me know if you need to dig deadpool out.
Anyway good job!
5450525 James Heller was able to tear off the turret of a M1 Abrams and use it as a giant hammer.
Mercer was the one to infect Heller with Blacklight.
5450922 don't know deadpool is random, has sword to kill healing factor, (not sure if that would affect the regenartion ability)
though if he somehow got the drop on deadpool and successfully surprised consumed him he could win... abilities probable wouldn't be good combination with his.... (honestly though cant really see him surprising deadpool... well unless you get the proper signage for certain food or ladies.... deadpool is fairly distractible with the right material.)
still suggest that on a youtube death battle please
For anyone who ask 'Ay Caramba' basically means holy shit or something to that nature
Nnnnnuuuuuuuu my sombra hate mexican food >.<
"and be relatable!"
Pfff... relatable? Ha! As if.
People like characters because they're some combination of:
1. Relatable.
2. Interesting.
3. Likable.
Deadpool is NOT Relatable. Hell, fucking Batman is more relatable than him, and when a billionaire who lost both his parents in a tragic calculated act of crime who traveled the world for, at most, a decade and became adept in every martial art known to man and every degree you can get a degree for while inheriting your parents money and company and using all of your accumulated skills and resources to fight crime in a Batsuit is more relatable than you, you know you jumped the shark on that harder than the Fonz.
Deadpool is liked because he's interesting and likable, probably the latter more so than the former, but not relatable by any means.
5453254
You're... forgetting that Alex and even Heller are:
A) Faster than Deadpool
B) Stronger than Deadpool
C) More durable than Deadpool even WITHOUT their regeneration and just due to their body's toughness and ability to become even tougher thanks to their ability to manipulate their biomass on the fly.
D) More agile than Deadpool.
E) Capable of turning their bodies into weapons that can pierce Chobham armor without breaking
F) Far more skilled in martial arts and gunplay and knowledgeable in the human body than Deadpool considering that, by the end of their respective games, they've successfully consumed hundreds of combat veterans from a wide variety of backgrounds and specialties as well as dozens of scientists.
But yeah, somehow, Deadpool being able to break the fourth wall and teleport is going to help him in a scenario where he doesn't have Plot/Writer Instigated stupidity to help him and is going to save his unique genetic mutation from making Alex or Heller even bigger block busters than they already are.
I think I laughed too hard at this line.
some of the spanish words were misspelled but this is what was really said
"♫Ohhhh! Jalisco no te rajes!!!! Me sale del alma!!!! Gritar con color!!! Abrir todo le pecho Pa echar este grito. Qué lindo es Jalisco Palabra de honor!!!♫"
I believe it translates to
"♫Ohhhh! Jalisco don't crack!!!! It comes from my soul!!!! Shout with color! Open all the chest Pa throw this cry. How beautiful is Jalisco Word of honor!!!♫"