Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

Father-Son Bonding. Pony #242-244 and Reindeer #1-3: Butternut, Oaknut, Pistachio, Aurora, Bori, Alice

Gallus groggily woke up from his sleep. His vision was blurry, as he only saw a red thing in his face. That red thing slowly turned into Deadpool's face, way too close to him.

"Merry Christmas, Gallus!!!" Deadpool shouted.

"Gah!!!" Gallus screamed, quickly scratching his face, causing a small waterfall of blood.

Overreaction?
In hindsight, we deserved it.

"Professor Deadpool!? What are you doing here!?" Gallus asked before looking around, seeing the complete mess that was Deadpool's house. "Wait... did you kidnap me!?"

"What!? No!" Deadpool replied. "I simply took you away as you were sleeping to help celebrate Christmas."

"... So you kidnapped me. And Hearths Warming already passed." Deadpool rested next to him.

"Consider it as a late Christmas special, for you, and the reader right now. After all, Christmas starts when it wants and ends when it wants, son." Gallus gave a blank stare.

"Uh... l-look, what I said before, I was in the moment, ok? It just slipped out, and I want us to go back to being teacher-student." Deadpool turned to him, getting on his knees.

"No, Gallus... I can't do that to you. You've got a bright future, and I want to be there with you. You're not like other griffins, and I want you to continue being like that. Besides, most of my fans already know that I am a real father, and that's excluding the sexy as hell Ryan Reynolds."

"...Right... so, you mean it? This isn't a joke?" Deadpool took in Gallus in a passionate hug.

"I'd never mess with the heart of a child like that. Not even with a cool kid like you." Gallus felt very tingly inside, but smiled, hugging Deadpool back.

"Alright... what should we do?"

"We gotta spread Christmas cheer to everyone! Wish everyone happy holidays! You know, all that crap."

"Oh? So... do you have anyone in mind?"

"Plenty."

---

The heavy snow built up on Sweet Acorn Orchards. Deadpool and Gallus, approached to the door of the main house, with Deadpool knocking on the hard wooden door. After a few moments, the door was opened by a middle aged looking Stallion and mare, with the stallion wearing a run down hat & red flannel while the mare wore a green dress.

"Oh, may we help you?" The stallion asked.

"Why yes," Gallus spoke. "Is there a place where we can bust the biggest nut?" Deadpool did his best to hold back his laughter from obvious immature joke.

"Hmm... I'm not sure." The mother replied "I think Pistachio helped my husband, Oak nut, help bust our biggest nuts yet." Deadpool wheezed.

"Pistachio!" Oak Nut yelled.

"What!?" The voice of a young stallion spoke.

"Some folks are wondering if you helped me bust my biggest nuts?" Deadpool coughed hard from his laughter.

"I'm busting some nuts right now, dad!" Deadpool fell to the floor, pounding the floor. "Who's here!? And who's laughing?"

"We got a griffin out here, and a fellow that looks like Deadpool."

"Wait, Deadpool!?" A stallion came down from the stairs, looking quite young, wearing a yellow-green scarf and a blue, fancy looking hat. "Sweet Celestia! It IS Deadpool! And he's laughing uncontrollably!!! Is here to help me bust these nuts?"

"No! No more!!!" Deadpool spoke past his laughter. "I'm weak! And I went suffered through No-Nut-November! for this!"

We failed, though.
The rules never stated it was illegal or not if we can remove our bottom ribs and swallow our own nut! So, we won by default!

"Deadpool asked me to say that." Gallus said with a shrug. "I really don't get what's so funny."

"And bless you for that." Deadpool patted Gallus's head.

"Oh, please, you've got to stay, Mr. Deadpool!" Pistachio begged. "Pleeease~?" Deadpool smiled.

"Of course we will. But my question is... are you a master of disguise?"

"Uh... no. I'm not."

"Good. Cause that movie BLOWS!!! Even if Captain America was in it."

---

Way in the north, a rather decent sized cottage laid dormant, surrounded by decorated pine trees, large candy canes, and lanterns with poles that resembled the candy. Inside, three reindeer wrapped various presents up. An elderly light blue with pale pink hair and glasses with huge antlers; a tan looking faun with a turquoise colored hair that had small antlers; and a pink, middle of the road reindeer with magenta hair, wearing a maid outfit. The youngest stopped and looked up.

"Gang way!" She shouted, pushing the two others out of the way. Crashing through the ceiling was Deadpool, followed by Gallus, landing next to him.

"Ok, even for you, that was an idiotic move." Gallus spoke, rolling his eyes. Deadpool picked his head up.

"B****es love cannons." Deadpool replied.

"Oh great, I feared this day would arrive." the elderly reindeer spoke, putting on earmuffs.

"Let me handle this." The adult reindeer replied, prancing towards Deadpool. "Hello, Wade, seems we weren't expecting you. Allow me to introduce us, This is-"

"A play on joke for Aurora Borealis." Deadpool interrupted. "I gotta say, these writers really knew how to make your names! And hey, I welcome a more friendlier version of the sisters of Fate that aren't cannibals or in a crappy Harry Potter wannabe series that is Percy Jackson."

"Uh..."

"He does that a lot." Gallus spoke. "But we're here to-"

"Spread Holiday cheer to everyone, I know." Alice interrupted. "And hey, for a mercenary that killed Santa and hates the over saturation of the holidays, what you're going to do is nice."

"What!? What was that?" Aurora asked, taking her ear muffs off. Her answer came as Deadpool took out a television and plugged in a camera. What showed was a small movie made by Deadpool and Gallus, reenacting various scenes from classic Christmas specials, all muted out by Jingle Bell Rock. Some of these scenes included: Deadpool dressed up as the Grinch, robbing some houses with Gallus as Max; Gallus running through the streets, recreating the ending to "It's a Wonderful Life"; Deadpool doing the shootout scene from Die Hard; and general fluff as both do what most people think fathers and sons should do with each other... even drink beer, in which Gallus puked after finishing his bottle. When it was all over, Deadpool grabbed Gallus and teleported away.

"... Huh... he didn't stay?" Bori asked.

"Yeah..." Alice replied, looking outside.

"You're not thinking about joining their X-Force now, are you?" Aurora asked.

"... I'm sorry, but I have to. If I don't, then there will be no future when the mad titan himself arrives."

"But... surely, you're just overthinking, right?"

"My visions are never wrong... and I want Deadpool to prove me wrong." She grabbed a scarf, wrapping it around her neck. "I'm sorry, but if Hearths Warming is to continue, then I need to do this." Without hesitation, her antlers glowed, picking her up, and she pranced away.

---

In the Depths of Space

Thanos sat on his throne, overlooking the galaxy, slowly, but steadily, heading to Equestria. Next to him was Mistress Death herself.

"Thanos, that statue made was nice, but face it, I love Deadpool more." She spoke to him.

"Bah! You only say that because he wants to die." The Mad Titan replied. "It's about time I make myself known to his world and make him pay for what he did those years ago."

"Hmm... and when you do, I'll be waiting for you for your inevitable end." She dissapeared into the shadows.

"Oh, it is I who will be the victor, my love. You will see how I can defeat an idiot like him."

---

Equestria

Deadpool and Gallus stood on stage, with Gallus on the Guitar and Wade behind the drums. Gallus looked a bit nervous as a crowd was in front of them, though Deadpool gestured him to go. With a nervous swallow, Gallus strummed his guitar as Deadpool pressed the play button on his phone, connected to the speakers

♬I can't do this alone
Even though I am strong
Need something more than me
Someone to push me to victory
Let's see what we can do
Together, me and you
Can't be afraid to try
Kiss your fears goodbye♬

♬No looking back
You and I, we're on the attack
Full speed ahead
Running to the sunset♬

♬Such a different feeling
Both of us believing
We can make it better♬

♬Together we can show the world what we can do
You are next to me and I'm next to you
Push me on through until the battle's won
No one’s gonna give a thing to us
Into each other we put our trust
Standing united, after the fight♬

♬All alone, we will never be
The two, of us, are holding the key
We see, today, a world we couldn't see
Before I say goodbye to you
One more last fist bump...♬

♬I know you have been afraid before
But you don't have to be anymore
No more emptiness to feel inside
When we work together no one can break up our stride♬

♬No looking back
You and I, we're on the attack
Full speed ahead
Running to the sunset♬

♬Such a different feeling
Both of us believing
We can make it better♬

♬Together we can show the world what we can do
You are next to me and I'm next to you
Push me on through until the battle's won
No one’s gonna give a thing to us
Into each other we put our trust
Standing united, after the fight, is done♬

Badass guitar solo that made the crowd cheer, with Alice seeing the show.

"Hm... I better not tell them immediately. Gotta alter the future to give us a chance at survival."

♬We can show the world what we can do
You are next to me and I'm next to you
Push me on through until the battle's won
No one’s gonna give a thing to us
Into each other we put our trust
Standing united, after the fight...♬

♬It's a brand new day
We have turned the page
I never knew how much I needed
Somebody to help me this way♬

♬All alone, we will never be
The two, of us, are holding the key
We see, today, a world we couldn't see
Before I say goodbye to you
One more last fist bump...♬

The cheering went wild as the new father-son duo finished the song.

*Sniff* It's so... beautiful.
Indeed. I just hope we don't mess it up.
Are we still gonna look for new students to join the X-Force?
Knowing us, yes.

Author's Note:

Until Season 9 shows otherwise, there will be new students joining Twilight's school of Friendship. And hey, Happy Holidays from me. Now, if you excuse me, I'll be struggling with bills and putting most of my fics on near month long hiatuses.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

You know Deadpool isn't a good guy, right?

[Macdaverin]

I wouldn't worry about Thanos.
Just have DP call in Darkseid.
It'll be a show.
(I wonder what their videogame is gonna be about)

[KVFFour]

Oh, shit. Sorry man... Best of luck.