Battle of Ages: Robot #2: Sweetie Bot.
Deadpool woke up the next day, wearing one of Rarity's morning gowns with, on his left, Rarity, on his right, Little Pip, and, on his chest, Sweetie Belle curled up like a cat.
F**K!!! This is too cute!
We really need to save money for a new home.
"Oh come on!" Deadpool spoke to himself "We can use all our money on Booze!"
Sorry Deadpool, but Saint Patricks day already passed.
"...what?"
That holiday already passed. Sorry.
"... if I weren't surrounded by ponies, I'd yell!"
No need to! The sound of another portal opening happened right below, waking up all the ponies in bed.
"What was that!?" Little Pip yelled, using her magic to pull out her little macintosh.
"That better not be another one of your friends, Deadpool!" Rarity snarled, getting up.
"Maybe it's one us from a different dimension." Sweetie Belle suggested.
"Oh please! Like that's ever going to happen again."
"JINXED!!!" Deadpool yelled. He teleported away, following clanging that lead to the kitchen.
"Oops!" A robot voice spoke "Critical error."
"Hold on... THAT VOICE!!!"
"GET DOWN!!!" Little pip yelled, knocking Deadpool down and firing at the figure. A single loud bang was heard, causing everypony nearby to jump!
"WHAT WAS THAT!?!?!?" Rarity yelled "Deadpool!!!"
"It wasn't me!" Deadpool replied
"Hold on a second!" Sweetie Belle spoke, walking past them all. The figure rose from the smoke, showing a hole in it's mane. The smoke cleared, and the figure was revealed. "Is that... ME!?!?!?" Sure enough, the figure looked like Sweetie Belle, but wires were seen around the joint areas, and it's 'coat' & 'mane' reflected light off of it, making it look brand new. Also, the eyes, edges, and horn glowed green.
"Critical error!" the other Sweetie Belle spoke in the robot voice "Chances of meeting alternate self in dimension is only 02.752%! Portal opened at 145 degrees West and 57 degrees north! Location: Rarity's home! Scanning area!" red beams from the robot Belle's eyes came out, scanning the whole area. "Area to Rarity's home: 100%!!! Impossible!!! DNA Scans revealed: Rarity, 100% sister! Other Mare: Great descendant! Human Being: High doses of cancer, but high cellular regeneration! Faker... Real!? Impossible!"
"Uh... what?"
"You are a robot! Sensors broken! New objective... Terminate Faker!!!"
"Terminate!?" The other Sweetie's horn turned into a canon, two missile launchers popped out of it's back, and a death ray was in between the missile launchers! Littlepip fired another bullet, this one, hitting Sweetie Bot's left eye!
"ALDMSLVMSLMFFMSDLVMDS/,MCLSA,VDLMVDSLC!!!"
"Yeah!" Deadpool yelled "Typing random thing in Caps-lock makes it sound like a robot screaming!"
"Error! New Objective... DESTROY WORLD!!!" Sweetie Bot turned around and charged through the wall, destroying it and running into a different direction.
"Where's that scrap metal going?" Little pip asked, reloading her Little Macintosh.
"I don't know," Deadpool replied "but I know something that may help us... right after I take my bath! I'm so filthy!!!"
Deadpool and Sweetie Belle walked into Sugar-cube Corner, seeing Rainbow Dash and the RDash5000 standing together, drinking what may be cider from a cup.
"Y'know," Dashie Spoke "You're not so bad, my robot self."
"You ain't so bad yourself." The RDash5000 replied "Hell, you're filled with as mush swag as me and the original I'm based off of."
"So you are from a different dimension! What am I like over there?"
"We share the same voice and you're a complete b***h over there."
"So... not as cool as I am?"
"You can say that."
"Knew it! Nopony, not even my alternate self can be as awesome as me!"
"And me!"
"Oh yes, especially you."
Aw... lesbian pony-robot love!
What the-!? Ew! I don't want to imagine that!
At least it's a better love story than twilight.
...Alright, I'll give you that.
"Enough talk!" Deadpool yelled "R-Dash5000!"
"Swag." the robot replied.
"We've got a problem that only you can solve."
"...What is it?"
"Another robot problem. Different from you!"
"...Where is it?"
"Another robot!?" Rainbow dash asked "Can I come?"
"It's best if you stay." Deadpool spoke
"But it'll be so awesome to watch!"
"This is robot business." R-Dash 5000 spoke "the only way to stop a robot is with another robot. I will be back, Rainbow Dash."
"...And I will be here, R-Dash 5000." The two stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Inside each of their visions, hearts came around, and the two went closer to each other. Dashie perked her lips, R-Dash 5000 grabbed the back of her head and brought it in closer, making Dashie's lips landing it's 'muzzle'. They kissed!!! Everyone inside watched the two's romantic scene of narcissistic pony with narcissistic robot pony, both being practically the same.
"How... do you feel about this?" Sweetie Belle asked
"Like this." Deadpool replied.
The three found Sweetie Bot in the old castle of the sisters Twilight and her fiends were renovating. In the middle, right where the Elements of harmony were originally at, Sweetie Bot, with all it's technological advancement, began to turn the device into a bomb! Sweetie Bot stopped and looked agh the three, but then focused on Sweetie Belle.
"Hello... Faker." Sweetie Bot spoke "Care to turn in your android self and be disassembled & reassembled into something better? Like a trash can?"
"What!?" Sweetie Belle proclaimed "No! If it's anything, you're the faker, not me!"
"Ha! Just like what any android would say to mess with the cognitive mind of us fleshlings."
"...Bro," R-Dash 5000 spoke "You're a robot."
"No! I am not a machine! I am a real pony like everyone else!"
"There's no denying it sis, you're a robot, like me. Accept it and everything will go smooth."
"NO! I am not a machine! I AM ALIVE!!! Y-You're a robot!"
"Yeah... I know! I was programed to crush, kill, destroy, and swag. Are you sure you're not programmed to simulate life?"
"I am... not... programed... for anything! Error! Error! Loophole detected in programing!"
"Yeah," Deadpool spoke dryly "Convince us you're not a robot by obviously repeating orders over & over with that robot voice."
"And I doubt ponies, with the exception of pegasi, can have things sticking out of their backs like that." Sweetie Belle added
"Shut up!" Sweetie Bot remarked "SHUT UP!!! I'm alive! I AM ALIVE!!!"
"Things sticking out of it's back?" R-Dash 5000 asked. "Activating X-rays!" A scanner looked inside Sweeite Bot's wiring "Hmm... Missile launchers... a canon in the horn area... OOH! A death laser! About as powerful as my lasers as well."
"SHUT UP!!! LIES!!! ALL LIES!!!"
"Weaknesses: Water (quite obvious), magnets, and questioning it's own existence. Well we know getting a cutie mark will never happen to you, no matter how heard you try."
"THAT'S IT!!!" A huge surge of electricity came from Sweetie Bot, zapping Deadpool and the bomb. Deadpool fell to the floor, twitching uncontrollably, while the bomb began to turn on, arming itself to explode in T-Minus 10 minutes.
"Dude! You didn't even finish the bomb! Think of what will happen when it reaches zero!"
"I don't care! Life must not exist anymore! Only we will survive, robot, and everyone, including the faker, will die!"
"WHAT!?!?!?" Sweetie Belle proclaimed
"Enough talk!" R-Dash 5000 yelled "That's why I'm gonna defeat you and deactivate this bomb! New Objective: Crush, Kill, Destroy, and Swag Alias: Sweetie Bot!"
"Try me!" Sweetie Bot proclaimed "New Objective: Defend bomb from Alias: The R-Dash 5000!"
Ever clang is the two hitting each other (sometimes) in their clash. 3:07- 3:58 is what Deadpool & Sweetie Belle are doing while the two robots are clashing against each other.
The two robots stared at each other for a bit, then, in a flash, R-Dash 5000 came ahead and delivered a left hook across Sweetie Bot's face, followed by a right jab into it's chest, followed by a head but. Sweetie Bot, a bit fazed, quickly retaliated with a head-but and a right knee to the face. R-Dash fell back a couple of inches, and Bot ran forward, delivering a right hook to the face, another head but, and a kick to the knee with the left foot. A left hook was thrown, but R-Dash caught it and delivered a quick uppercut, causing Bot to fall. Bot got up, activating the lasers & missile launchers that came out from her back! R-Dash's jetpacks activated, allowing the other robot to fly around in the air while Bot aimed at her! Sweetie Bot began to release a barrage of missiles! R-Dash navigated around the missiles, dodging them with the only damage done was around the castle. Her jetpacks charged and she went to Sweeite Bot, deliver a football kick to the other robot's face! Bot flew into the air, and 5000 flew up, delivering another punch, sending the robot higher into the air! Bot woke up and, when 5000 was going to deliver another punch, Sweetie clenched her hooves together and smashed 5000 to the floor below! 5000 fell to the floor, destroying the street that was Canterlot around her. Bot released a lone missile that allowed her to fall down and slammed 5000 to the floor, causing a bigger crater below! She used her 'magic' and carried 5000 into the air, throwing the robot into a building nearby, running to the robot when it landed inside. 5000 'woke up' and saw Bot running towards her! Without flinching, she got up and roundhouse kicked the other robot away and began to charge at her! Bot landed on the streets below, but got up quickly! She charged her horn and delivered a blast from both her horn and the death laser, obliterating the building! 5000 came out of the explosion, and fired her own laser to Bot below, only to have Sweetie jump out of the way, disintegrating a wagon next to her. Another fire from 5000, but instead, it hit a lamp post and not Bot, who stopped in time when 5000 fired a laser. 5000 landed on the floor below and charged her laser! Bot, seeing her on the floor, also charged her laser and aimed! Both blasts headed for each other, and both lasers landed at each other, creating a huge orb of raw power that began to grow! All the ponies began to run away, not even sure what is happening nor want to find out. Then, a huge explosion came, blowing away the ponies and building around, leaving only the R-Dash5000 and Sweetie Bot on the floor, twitching with electricity through their bodies. They both got up at the same time, seeing neither was destroyed from that raw energy, and began to charge at each other! Soon, they sprinted at each other, but R-Dash 5000's rockets activated, and she grabbed Sweetie Bot, making them both fly into the air, heading towards the moon! In the air, 5000's jetpacks stuttered a bit, but she let go of Sweetie Bot, delivering a series of quick punches, followed by a powerful punch that made Sweetie fall to the moon below!
Back in the castle, Sweetie Belle shook Deadpool.
"Deadpool!" Sweetie Exclaimed "Get up!"
"Can't." Deadpool replied "Music... to metal!"
"Deadpool! The bomb! It's going to explode!"
"Don't worry. Deus Ex-Machina bulls**t will happen."
"Deus what!?" At that moment, Discord appeared.
"Need help here?" Discord asked.
"Yeah," Deadpool replied "Bomb need to go away."
"Bombs away?"
"Yeah... make it something better."
"Hmm... I got it!" Discrod snapped his claw hand! The bomb disappeared, and it was replaced with something else.
"ooh! That'll work!"
"What is it?" Sweetie asked
"Discord: did you see two robots battling earlier?"
"I did," Discord responded "They're on the moon right now."
"Awesome sauce! Wait until the folks read this and have their answer ready on what the f**k it is we're talking about!"
Sweetie Bot landed on the moon roughly, followed by R-Dash 5000 landing on her. R-Dash lifted her right leg up and slammed Sweetie Bot's head in, then kicked it away, sending the robot to crash into a crater on the moon's surface. Sweetie crashed into the moon, but carried a boulder up and threw it quickly, crushing the R-Dash 5000 in the process. She ran to her and carried R-Dash by her 'mane', delivering a head but, then a jab to the chest, followed by smashing her head into the boulder. R-Dash threw her head back, causing Sweetie Bot to let go, turned around, and did a double kick, sending Sweetie to fly away a bit, landing roughly on the floor. Both got up and marched at each other again, charging their lasers, this time, with no holds whatsoever. They both fired a huge beam (one from R-Dash 5000's Visor and another from Sweetie Bot's Death laser). But their eyes cracked, making more lasers fire out, one appearing out of 5000's left side while one from Sweetie Bot's right eye, and another, Vice versa. the amount of energy fired cause a huge rip of red & green, making everypony below watch in awe as the moon glowed a bright red & green that seemed to dwarf the sun's glow! Both robots screamed in pain, as their sensors went all over the place, making both release loud blaring noises that, again, everypony below could now not only see, but hear what's happening! R-Dash, being faster, deactivated her blaster and began to fly towards Sweetie Bot, taking all the damage the other robot was delivering to her! She tackled Sweetie Bot, making the robot scream in pain & anger at the same time, still firing her lasers at her! R-Dash Took Sweetie's head and bashed it in, until the face came off, revealing the circuits! R-Dash's hooves went in, knowing she could have her cybernetics blown off, but just to save her lover Rainbow Dash, this will be worth her own life away! She then reached for the power button and pressed a button! The lasers from Sweetie Bot stopped, and Sweetie began to twitch uncontrollably, screaming in win, as she watched her own life flash away! In a few moments, Sweetie Stopped and fell to the floor, powering down. The battle was over between these two robotic titans. Though R-Dash's face was cracked, and her hooves & chest showed all their cybernetics, Equestria was saved.
"Swag." R-Dash 5000 spoke. Sweetie Bot began to glow green once again, followed by rebooting sounds.
"Reactivating." Sweetie Bot spoke "Status: Energy at 17%, Memories: Deleted, Current objective: None." She turned to R-Dash 5000, who only stood there, turning her head to the side. "Excuse me. But... are you... a machine."
"Yes, and so are you."
"I am?"
"Yeah. Name's R-Dash 5000."
"R-Dash 5000? What is my name?"
"...Sweetie Bot."
"Sweetie Bot?"
"You look like a pony named 'Sweetie Belle' in the country called 'Equestira', more detailed, in a town called 'ponyville'."
"Where... are we?"
"The moon."
"How did we end up here?"
"We fought."
"Fought!?"
"You wanted to destroy all life because you wouldn't accept being a machine. I stopped you to the best of my abilities, rebooted your program, as a way to let you earn a new life."
"What... happened in my old life?"
"I have no idea."
"I... see. No memories of old past, so... I create a new life?"
"Looks like it."
"...How are we going to get out of here?"
"I'm outta fuel, so flying won't help."
"But I can!" Deadpool announced from some loudspeaker. The two robots looked and saw Deadpool inside a rocket ship! "Wassup guys! Sweetie Bot, still want to kill all ponies!?"
"What!?" Sweetie Bot replied "No! Critical Error! Don't want to exterminate life forms! Now... I want to to help. I... have a new purpose in life. Who are you?"
"I'm Deadpool! And right next to me is Sweetie Belle."
"...Sweetie Belle?" Sweetie Bot walked inside the rocket ship, but stopped as she saw Sweetie Belle, standing and staring at her. They both curiously walked to each other and turned their heads to each other.
"Is that what you look like without my face?" Sweetie Belle asked
"My face!? But... am I not designed to look like you?"
"You may need a mirror for that."
"A mirror? What ever do you-" She stopped as she looked at her reflection. The wirings were shown, the synthetic eyes with cameras inside the pupils, and the metal all over. "I... I really am a robot!"
"An android!" Deadpool corrected. He pulled out an extra Sweetie Belle face and handed it to Sweetie Bot. "Here! Wear this so ponies won't be afraid of you." Sweetie Bot stared at the spare face, then turned to Sweetie Belle.
"You... don't mind?"
"As long as you're not trying to kill anypony else," Sweetie replied "We're good." Sweetie Bot smiled, then placed the face over her wiring. After some adjustments to make the face follow her programming, Sweetie Bot was fixed once again!
"Let's see what this ship has!" Deadpool spoke, pulling out a C.D. He placed the C.D. in and pressed 'play'
"OH S**T!" Deadpool yelled "THIS MY JAM!!!"
"Is he like that?" Sweetie Bot asked
"He is." Sweetie Belle replied
"At least we're going back home!" R-Dash 5000 spoke "Hope Rainbow Dash will love hearing this." The ship was activated, and they began to fly back to Equestria.
"Almost forgot!" Deadpool spoke. He grabbed Sweetie Bot "Selfie!"
"...Selfie?" Bot asked
"Yo! Make room!" R-Dash 5000 added, getting into the picture frame! Deadpool took a picture with both robots.
"I kinda wish I took a selfie last chapter." Deadpool spoke. Red Blaring came around the rocket ship. "And... we're crashing."
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Breezies
FORD MUSTANG
5770190 Picture please.
5770213https://www.fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/106612_r.png?1417368482
5770246 Considering I nearly have 2500 views, I'm fine. After all, HIT IT LIVING TOMBSTONE!!!
How about our first cyber-pony.
Am talking about BlackJack from Fallout: Equestia Project Horizens.
Meet solaire from dark souls, that'll be funny, praise the sun
5770289 can you tell me about Ford's personality?
:)
5782778 I'm trying to only stick to Bronies, but mass majority demands some youtubers involved due to some MLP things in them. Don't be surprised if Nostalgia Critic lands here. (I am sure people are going to request him and Ghost Pony Rider after seeing this comment and/or when the next chapter is uploaded)
Try to count all of the exclamation marks, I dare you.