Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

Mah Cuzin. Ponies 201 & 202: Ma Hooffiield and Big Daddy McColt

Deadpool sat in a recliner in his house, bored out of his mind, with only the corpses of the various emjois from last chapter hanging on the walls. He reached over and dialed a number. As it rung on the other side, Wade let out a random burst of laughing, up until the phone was picked up from the other side. Some garbled voice came.

"Yes, I can hold." Deadpool replied, lazily laying down on the seat. More voices. "Yes! I would like to place an order for delivery... Deadpool... I think I'm in the computer... YES! That's it! I'd like a large-WHAT!?... Huh?... EXTRA THICC!!! 30 minutes or it's free? EXCELLENT!!!" He cackled away before the other line hung up. He hung the phone himself.

Did we really have to make a Samurai Jack joke?

Do you see any talking penises?

... Uh...

"Enough of that!" Deadpool spoke. "It's time for us to head to the next part of our chapter! And we're going southern." He put on a cowboy hat as well as a pair of overalls. "It's time for us to meet with our cousins! Who can also be our wives." Then he pulled out a Banjo and began to play away as he burst through the wall of his house on a Tractor with his collection of Moonshine (complete with faces of Princess Luna's various emotions) and blasting his shotguns in the air, making everypony run around and make horse noises.

---

Deadpool arrived to the Smokey mountains, right where the animal shelter laid in between the mountains.

"Hoo Dawgin'!" Deadpool spoke in a Stereotypical Southern accent. "This must be that ther' place Twi and Fluts went to fer that episode!"

Are we really going to use that Souther Accent.

What are ya'll? A Yelleh Belleh?

"Hoo Dawgin'! A Guest!" A loud woman's voice spoke.

"Is that ther moonshine?" Another loud voice, this one, a man, spoke. Deadpool turned to the 2 ponies in questions. The stallion, while short, looked at least normal, but the other one...

"... Play it."

Deadpool threw the Moonshine at them.

"Get back! Get back ugly beasts!" As soon as the last one was thrown, he put on a suit made entirely out of Fidget Spinners. "SPIN!!! SPIN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" He began to spin in a circle, similar to Crash Bandicoot, with the fidget spinners spinning away. In a few moments, Deadpool flew to the sky, never to be seen once again to the Hooffields and McColts.

Author's Note:

Happy 4th of July, folks. Didn't really know what to do with those 2... only that Ma Hooffield is Ugly AF, and Deadpool would avoid her.

The next chapter is going to be rather more calm, actually, and a bit touching. Some jokes, just not every few minutes.