How long has it been?
Get back to work!
What the-!? Who are you!?
I'm Deadpool #2, mother f***er! I was genetically cloned from one of Deadpool's hair strands and I've been sent to make sure you'd work!
...But Deadpool's bald! Where'd he get hair?
Where do you think?
...Oh dear mercy! Don't touch me!!!
Get to work then!
Yes sir! Right away, sir!!!
"Like the gift I gave you?" Deadpool asked
Shut up! I was busy, okay?
"Oh yeah, with another Tats inspired story, hm... Planet Exrpess's Package Pony?"
Yes, now please, let me work on this chapter, okay? I don't want your clone to sleep on my bed AT ALL!!!
"Just continue with this fanfic that you hope will be featured again."
Ugh... we continue with Deadpool as he made his way back home and... hold on... where's your other Pools?"
"Them? I sent them home during your hiatus! Who knew their DNA samples would be great at making Deadpool #2!"
Wait... so Deadpool #2 isn't-
"I only added that bit in there as a way for him to have all of my memory."
...gross. Well, let's continue: Deadpool entered back in his home where he heard a familiar rocking noise.
Do we have a rocking chair?
I very much doubt it.
"Well let's see who it is! Maybe it's Granny Smith! I've always wanted to meet her!"
But you hate old people.
"I only hate their stories! Plus, we know what the old people we know have!"
Words of wisdom?
Hell no! Candy, kisses, and lots of guns!
"Like Mr.Togue's Grandma!" Deadpool walked inside his house, readying his pistols that fired kunai knives... for some reason, and slowly opened the door to his living room. He jumped into the room, firing wildly in circles, not even sure what he's firing at, but stopped and took a deep breath, seeing what was a living room filled with holes. Sitting in the middle was-
Sharon Gless!?
No you idiot, that's our hostage/friend, Blind Al!
"Blind Al!"
"Oh f**k me!" Blind Al spoke to herself as Deadpool jumped onto her lap and kissed her.
"Who's there!?" another voice asked.
Oh my Celestia! T.J. Miller!!!
No! It's our old friend, Weasel!
Weasel came out of the corner wearing only a robe, slippers, and held a cup of coffee.
"Deadpool?" Weasel asked "Is that really you?"
"Who else has a face that looked liked Freddy Krueger face f***ed the topographical map of Utah!?"
"...Aw crap... it is you."
"Deapool!?" A woman's voice spoke around the corner. Popping out of the corner was a familiar woman. Deadpool stopped and stared ahead, seeing what was a beautiful siren he had long forgotten.
Wait... you forgot about Sonata!?
No, I mean as in that the woman is beautiful and it's like she came from the sea.
But we're nowhere near the sea!
Ugh... forget it, okay? Let's continue!!!
"Vanessa?" Deadpool asked "Is that really you?" The woman smiled and came up to him.
"Well, let me see if you're the real Deadpool." She replied. She grabbed Deadpool's crotch!
"GAAH!!!" Immediately, her body began to change from her look to Wade Wilson's look.
"Ooh! I guess you really are Deadpool."
"Lady! You could've asked me to take my mask off!!!"
"Maybe, but I like things a bit... kinkier."
Ma'am... I'm a little turned on now.
Kids! Get outta here!
"Uh... baby," Deadpool spoke "shouldn't you turn back to you?"
"Of course, sugar." Vanessa replied, turning back to herself. She leaped up at him and began furiously make out with him!
HOLY S**T!!!
Is that even Legal!?
How can we describe this!?
Don't! Just put on the music!
OOH!!! I'll get the camera!!!
MEANWHILE!!!
Lady Death and Cable sat together in a room, hearing both Deadpool and Vanessa moan as the place shook & objects began to break around them.
"How does Deadpool do it?" Cable asked
"Do what?" Death asked
"How does he get ladies who love him, despite being an idiot?"
"Oh Cable, there's more to him than being an idiot. He's just a bit of a bad boy with a tragic past."
"I know his past, but what about being a bad boy?"
"He just doesn't give a damn on what he does and goes with the flow. True, he's a bit more considerate with these ponies, but he's still going to do crazy stuff and not care who's in his way or not."
"Huh... so if I do that, then I'd get ladies?"
"Maybe, but how many women are there in the future?"
"... not a lot."
"And don't you have a responsibility to make sure the future is perfect?"
"...I do."
"Good. And if you ask me, if you really want to make the future a better place, you have to let Doctor Doom take over the world."
"WHAT!?"
"It's true; Doctor Doom taking over the world will save the world, though it varies which Doom you're teaming up with."
"Who should I avoid?"
"...Okay, thanks. Think we should stop them?"
"You can."
"...But aren't you jealous?"
"She's going to die soon and her soul will be delicious, leaving Deadpool and I to be."
"...You are messed up."
"I'm death, I can do whatever I feel like."
"Touche."
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Lady Death be like, 'Bitch, please.'
6410986 indeed
6400435 Hey, I know him! Aw, man, he makes some good shit on E621.
6411561 Eeyup.
All o can say is eeyup
6412341 Eenope.
6424471 Here's the trailer if you want.
Hey, Mr A! So, I just had the craziest idea. Why don't you have Deadpool time travel back in time and meet Princess Amore, ya' know the former ruler of the Crystal Empire. And please be sure to make him travel back before Sombra actually turned her into a black crystal statue and smashed her into pieces. If you can actually make him do that.
And if you don't know who she is, please be sure to read about her at the My Little Pony Wiki. Okay? Okay!
And, if you have anytime, make Deadpool meet Garble with his crew and beat the s**t out of them for bullying Spike and calling Princess Celestia 'namby-pamby'.