• Published 9th Nov 2014
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Deadpool in Equestria - MrAquino



What happens when Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth, lands in the magical land of Equestria? Same thing that happens in every cross story, but with more Deadpool!!!

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A winter special

Deapool snored away in his house, indicated by the loud noises he made, the pool and waterfall of drool falling out of his mouth, and, of course, his butt in the air, cheeks loosen for anyone to take advantage of. However, his alarm blared. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Deadpool jumped out of bed and fired a handgun, screaming.

"MY SKYRIM REMASTERED!!! NOT YOURS!!!" His gun clicked, and falling to the floor was an Average Black Friday shopper wielding a knife in one hand and Skyrim Remastered in the other. Deadpool got up and took the game from his corpse. "That's the 13th one this week!" He grabbed the body and threw it out of the window, where it landed in a grinder and the meat was sold to very sketchy looking restaurants. Wade looked out of the window to see a blanket of snow had taken over Ponyville.

Winter is here.

No s**t, Sherlock.

"And you know what that means?... ANOTHER F**KING HOLIDAY SPECIAL!!!" He stormed out of his room and into his messier house, skipping time to have himself pancakes that would make Pinkie jealous. As he ate, however, another portal opened. Popping his head was- "AHH!!! STRANGER!!!"

"Deapool!" The bearded man with a long, red cape and a golden, eye looking necklace spoke "I have come from my dimension to-" Deadpool punched him in the face, knocking him out. Appearing behind the Doctor were three other Deadpools: Ryan Reynald Deadpool from the movie, Nolan North Deadpool from the videogame, and Will Friedle Deadpool from Disney's Ultimate Spiderman.

"Aw shit!" Ryan-Pool yelled "Look what you did you cocksucker!"

"Fuck you, me!" Nolan-Pool added "Go fuck yourself!... Wait, no... not yet!"

"This stinks." Will-Pool spoke.

"Hey! You all got to swear!" Deadpool yelled. "Audience! Isn't this some bulls**t!?"

"We're not part of the contract!" They all added, holding their contracts for their respected licenses.

"Oh f**k you all up the a**hole!"

"Hey, I'm not allowed to swear!" Will-Pool spoke "So I have the short end of the stick."

"And a hated fanbase." Nolan-Pool replied.

"Hey! At least I'm better than Ryan Reynald's Pool from-"

"Don't mention that!" Ryan-Pool interupted.

"Get your asses in here!" Deadpool spoke, grabbing all three and Strange in. The portal closed. Deadpool crossed his arms "Alright, why are you all here?" The other Pools blinked. "... You all went to sleep, didn't you?" Various murmurs came from them. "Well, if that's the case, I've gotta go and see my Mooncheeks!"

"Mooncheeks!?" They all asked

"Princess Luna." They all blinked "The princess of the night in this world?" More blinks "From My Little Pony: Friendship is magic." They all stood, scratching their heads.

"I masturbate to unicorns." Ryan-Pool spoke. Deadpool face palmed himself.

"Well, have you experienced the magic of Friendship?" They shook their heads. "Have you ever wanted to be in a community that's called cancerous but isn't as bad as Minecraft?" Murmurs. "Have you wanted to meet a cast where most of their personalities came from the fans that went to make the 100th episode?" They all nodded. "Alright, I can see that I will have to teach you on how to be Bronies!" He pulled out a Saxophone and played.

"HEY!!!" The three added, making Deadpool jump as they all pulled out their own instrument (A drum, a trumpet, and a Cello). He shrugged and joined them. They all ran outside, making everypony pause and watch as four Deadpools ran around. Berry Punch looked at her drink, then to them, and threw the bottle away and pulled out a 40 Oz.

♫We are number one!♫

♫Now listen closely!

Here's a little lesson in Bron-ery!

This is going down in history

If you wanna be a Fandom Number One

You have to chase a certain princess on the run!♫

Princess Luna flew over them, unaware on what's happening. Deadpool pointed at her, to which the other had heart eyes and chased after her.

♫Just follow my moves, and sneak around

Be careful not to make a sound♫

One of them stepped on a whoopee cushion, where Pinkie giggled

"Shh!No, don't touch that!" Deadpool yelled. During the chorus, they tried various tools to capture Luna

♫We are Number One

Hey!

We are Number One

We are Number One♫

♫Now look at this net, that I just found

When I say go, be ready to throw

Go!♫

They threw it on Deadpool and not Luna, who was having herself a salad

"Throw it on her, not me! Ugh, let's try something else!

♫Now watch and learn, here's the deal

She'll slip and slide on this banana peel!♫

The three other slipped on said banana peels

"What are you doing!?"

All four pools set up the Nintendo Switch with Skyrim remastered on it, to which Luna took it and played it, totally falling for the easily set trap. All four took her back to Deadpool's house, where they just stared in awe

♫Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

We are Number One

Hey!

Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

We are Number One♫

Unfortunately, Dr. Strange woke up and took Luna away. All of the pools chased, but the three other ones were sent back to their dimensions, though Deadpool was fired right out of a canon.

♫Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

We are Number One

Hey!

Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

We are Number One

Hey!

Hey!♫

Celestia sat on her throne, having hot coco instead of tea. She conjured up a pillow seat quickly. Deadpool came crashing through the window, rolling and breaking all of his bones before sitting on the seat perfectly.

"...Ow." He simply said.

"Well hello to you too, Wade." Celestia spoke, not turning to him. "Trying to kidnap my sister and keeping her as your wife?"

"Hey! I'm not ready for that type of thing yet!" He snapped his arms back in place. "And how did you know I was going to land here?"

"Eh, just a hunch I had."

"... You're no help." He cracked his legs in place. "And I can't believe Benedict Cummberbatch came to me! What an honor!"

"...Yes, what an honor." Luna entered the throne, looking rather depressed. Deadpool teleported onto her back.

"'Sup, Moony! I'm the cowboy and you're my horse!" Luna's horn glowed as she took him off.

"Not now." She said. "I need my quiet time."

"I can be quiet!"

No you can't.

Shut up!

"I need my alone time, then." She simply said, walking away. Deadpool blinked.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked "She's going back to her emo phase! Now I'm going to have to sing Wake me up with her!"

"She wants some attention." Celestia simply spoke, opening The Epic of Gilgamesh.

"Ugh, again!?"

"It's winter, her favorite time... at least, as a filly."

"And then she turned Emo?"

"No. I was given the Summer Sunset Celebration."

...Lightbulb!

Yes?

Not you, you dumba**!

"...Say? Is it alright if Luna can have her celebration?"

"She already has Nightmare Night."

"But that's for her Evil half, Nightmare Moon. I'm talking something like... The Winter... Moonrise... Festive?" Celestia lowered her book and gave Deadpool a skeptic look. She turned back to her book.

"Eh, alright. Tomorrow."

"...Really?"

"Yep."

"...Just like that?"

"Yep."

"... Alright, what's the price?" Celestia lowered her book and smiled.

"Dance with me."

"...That's it?"

"Do you want me to make it worse?"

"No! Nonono! That won't be needed. Uh... how are you-?" Celestia's horn glowed and the throne room turned into a Disco dance floor, complete with a bar (With Bob drinking) and some of the guards in suits. Celetia wore a new dress as Deadpool was in his suit. Celestia walked to him with bedroom eyes.

"Shall we get, how shall you say, freaky?" Deadpool blinked.

"Video! And Pinkie, you're with me!" Pinkie appeared next to her in an orange version of her 80's outfit

"Yay! I've always wanted to be Snoopy!"

Celestia blinked.

"... That's not what I had in mind... but it'll do."

"Yes!"

The Next Day.

Deadpool and Luna skated next to each other as the residents around Canterlot celebrated the newly established Winter Moonrise Festive.

"I never knew you could skate." Luna spoke.

"I'm full of surprises." Deadpool simply answered "Like when people realized I'm not much of a d**k as they think I am."

"...What?"

"E, forget about it. The holidays are almost here, and with Santa dead, I'm sure that everyone's gonna be happy that the NSA and Illuminati isn't watching them when they go to sleep. Remember, don't let your kids support a pervert that likes to watch them sleep at night. If there's one thing I hate more than anything, it's Predators, and not the movie type."

"I have yet to understand who you're talking to."

"And you won't. Let's just Charlie Brown this with me as the title character and Discord as Snoopy."

Author's Note:

More will arrive

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