• Published 9th Nov 2014
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Deadpool in Equestria - MrAquino



What happens when Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth, lands in the magical land of Equestria? Same thing that happens in every cross story, but with more Deadpool!!!

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Attractive parents. #237 and 238: Stellar Flare and Firelight

"Oh yes, this is the place!" Deadpool spoke as he walked solo, following the train tracks.

Where are we going?

Where do you think?

Oh... why aren't we using the train?

How long do you think it takes MrAquino to make a new chapter?

"Ha! Not as slow like he is with Flutter-Topia." He stopped as he was at the train stop. Turning to his right was a stone wall, with, near the gates, was a sign that was written in Pony language.

What does it even mean!?

Sire's Hollow.

How did you-!?

Deadpool pushed the gate open.

"Welcome to Sire's Hollow!" A cheerful mare's voice echoed through some speakers.

"There's out cue!" Deadpool spoke, walking in, right before being stopped by a blue-gray mare in a purple dress.

"Essence?" She asked.

"Uh... sorry miss, I don't-" She sprayed in Deadpool's face. The spray was a sudden to the merc, as he fell to the floor.

"AHH!!! MY EYES!!! I'M BLIND!!! I'M BLIND!!!"

Ooh! Smells like Vanilla!

Really?

"What did we just discuss!?" The sounding mare from the gate's speakers spoke, trotting near the blinded Deadpool and the essence pony. "We don't spray in anypony's faces! Only at their chest and back of the head!"

"But how will they smell it, Ms. Flare?" Another puff sound was made, followed by the other mare coughing hard. Deadpool's vision came back a bit blurry, seeing the mare that was with him looked a bit like a darker colored, older, and-

"Holy crap! You're hot!" The mare rubbed her eyes, seeing Deadpool.

"Oh, I am so sorry for that, sir! I've been trying to change the ways we've been offering essence towards others without-" Deadpool slid on the table, knocking all the essence bottles to the floor, in his seductive pose.

"Ah, but mon petit bouton de rose, just by the sight of you alone, I know you're already a strong, independent woman who doesn't say that to brainwash the audience in believing you are, but even I know you need a man in your life." The mare stared blankly.

"... Have we... met before?"

"Not yet." Deadpool took a rose out. "Ze name's Deadpool, but you can call me... anytime." The mare blushed a bit.

"Uh... i-it's quite flattering, really, but the name's Stellar Flare, and I need you to pay for that stuff or-" She tried to push him off, but instead, music was heard, as the world went dark with red lighting around, as Deadpool was only in his underwear, a glass of wine in his right hand with a rose in the other.

Oh, you touch my tralala
Mmm, my ding ding dong...

It was then that Deadpool got up and did some pelvic thrusts, the bulge in his underwear on full display. Stellar Flare slowly backed up, as the mares around started to sing along, while shaking their tails in rhythm. All the mares made a straight path, with their tails in full view of Stellar and Deadpool

Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong
La lalala lalala...

Stellar tried to run away, but bumped into Deadpool

Deep in the night
I'm looking for some fun

She turned to run, but dumped into Deadpool again

Deep in the night
I'm looking for some love

She backed away

De-de-de-deep in the night
I'm looking for some fun
Deep in the night
I'm looking for some-

Stellar gave an angered look before clearing her throat.

You tease me
Oh, please me
I want you to be my love toy
Come near me, don't fear me
I just can't get enough of you, boy

Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong
La lalala lalala...
Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong (my ding ding dong)
La lalala lalala...

Soon, it was just Deadpool and Stellar surrounded by mares all in a circle, their plots in the air, waving in unison, almost asking for DP to pleasure them, but the merc was busy dancing in unison to Stellar Flare... all with Sunburst staring in the distance, right eye twitching.

Deep in the night
I'm looking for some fun
Deep in the night
I'm looking for some love

You tease me
Oh, please me
I want you to be my love toy
Come near me, don't fear me
I just can't get enough of you, boy

Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong
La lalala lalala...
Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong
La lalala lalala...

(My ding ding dong)
Mmm, my ding ding dong
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong
La lalala lalala...

Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong
La lalala lalala...
Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong (my ding ding dong)
La lalala lalala...
Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...
Mmm, my ding ding dong
La lalala lalala...
Oh, you touch my tralala
La lalala lalala...

Oh, you touch my tralala
Mmm, my ding ding dong...

The near pornographic scene ended with all mare passing out from exhaustion, along with Stellar Flare in the process. Sunburst, too shocked for words, fell like a statue. Deadpool just blinked at the sight.

"Huh... guess Günther was too much for them."

Oh man! Wait until Luna hears about this!

Let's NOT have Luna hear about this.

"Yeah... guess I was overreacting to how the fandom sees Stellar Flare as the hottest Milf in the show."

"What's going on here!?" A somewhat more cheery sounding stallion spoke, walking in. Deadpool turned to see a purple stallion unicorn with a turquoise-white striped mane in a red vest. He looked surprised. "Oh my gosh! Deadpool! You came to visit our town!?"

"... I did." Deadpool replied, quickly done ordering the Moby Huge for Stellar. "Ooh! If that's Sunburst's mom, then you're Starlight's dad!"

"Aww, did my wittle bunny sent you here?"

"Eh, nah, I wanted to see you both in the flesh." He looked down at Stellar's unconscious body "And she's gonna get more than needed."

"Ooh! That must be one of those 'slang words' you love to use. Care for some tea?"

"Absolutely!"


Starlight Glimmer entered her old house, Sunburst's frozen state in a wagon nearby, to get some answers. She walked in, but gasped at what she saw.

"Dad! What are you doing!?" She demanded. Sitting on the couch together, Deadpool and Firelight looked through old photos together.

"Just showing our guest your old baby photos, pumpkin wumpkin." Firelight answered.

"Aww! Look at her in those wittle booties!" Deadpool cooed at the image of a baby Starlight Glimmer wearing small boots.

"Hehehe, indeed, she's so adorable." Starlight blushed so hard, she could've turned into Twilight with a different mane.

"Dad! Not in front of Deadpool!" She begged.

"But look at you!" Deadpool showed Starlight her old Goth phase. "You look like every Nightmare before Christmas fan at a Hot Topic, only not as cringe worthy."

"Deadpool!"

"What!? It's a compliment! Besides, I've got Hot Topic fans of myself now. I hope none of these readers send money to MrAquino to help him buy more Deadpool products and/or to show how much they support him about as much as a stop-motion picture that really wasn't directed or produced by Tim Burton."

An awkward silence.

"... Who's Tim Burton?" Firelight asked.

"Hot Topic's god."

Author's Note:

Lucky me, since we're in the midseason hiatus, I can catch up with some more chapters... don't tell Wade we're a season and a half away until it all ends. Just like Dr. Who, he hates endings.

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