Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

A major Hangover: Ponies # 180-184: Gladmane, Trapeze Star, That director, and Seigfreid & Roy

The schoolbus fell to the floor with the ear r**e of the Magic School Bus theme.

WE'RE CRASHING!!! WE'RE CRASHING!!!

DAMMIT, MISS FRIZZLE!!!

"I BLAME THE MEMES!!!" Deadpool yelled, pulling a baseball out.

"What are you doing!?" The teacher asked as the bus was going to crash into Equestria's version of the Twin Towers.

"Getting out of here, ya crazy b***h!!!" He smashed a window and jumped out. To make sure SJWs don't get triggered, the bus bloomed into many flowers, raining down happy thoughts of people being PC with each other.

P***y!

With the long way down, Deadpool began to spin out of control, looking more like a torpedo firing... and the song, Shooting Stars by the Bag Raiders played, with the floor turning into multiple other backgrounds for Wade to fall in/ be a part of. Some of these include being fired out of a torpedo, Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom, passing through and using a mass relay from the Mass Effect games, doing M.Bison's psycho kick in Street Fighter, and, most importantly, the shrinking down to microscopic square sized scene in Ant Man, which would be impossible, and would've made a black hole, killing not just Scott Lang's daughter, but sucking up the whole world... Film theory.

A lot of people are starting to hate Matt Patt.

Well, there are major flaws in his theories, so there's that.

"STILL SPINNING!!!" Deadpool yelled as he fell down to the city of Las Pegasus, Equestria's elaborate Chucky Cheese and Peter Piper Pizza... so, mostly the Main Event.

Inside, a dark yellow earth pony mare with a glittery, poofy, blue mane & tail, and wearing a pink unitard, stretched for her performance. Her manager, a light blue unicorn stallion with a dark blue mane & beard (Who I swear may be Party Favor's Dad), approached to his client.

"Ach! This is no good!" He spoke in a German Accent. "Miss Tapeze, I'm afraid we will have to cancel ze show!"

"Cancel!?" She asked in shock "But why!?"

"One of our 'guests' has fallen sick! I'm afraid we can't do ze saw in half trick like we've rehearsed."

"But... but, surely, we can somepony else?"

"Not unless they fall through ze roof, I don't think so."

He shouldn't have said that, as Deadpool fell into the backstage... while yelling something that will trigger you SJWs.

"ALLAHU AKBAR!!!" He crashed through the roof and landed on the floor with a loud 'CRACK', face first. "... Nailed it."

"NEIN!!!" The manager yelled.

"Nine!? I'm meh with that movie.... yeah, sue me! I'm not a huge fan of that movie! I ain't a sheep!" A lamb gave him a death glare before walking by him.

"... How did a sheep get here?" Trapeze Star asked.

"Ahh! Cover your cheek!" Deadpool pulled a rag and rubbed the marking off her face.

"Hey!" She slapped his hand away. "What the hay are you doing that for!?"

"That marking on your face! It looks likes boobs!"

"...Boobs?"

"Knockers! Melons! Ta-Tas! Meat baskets! The bra's best friend! T**s!"

"... I don't follow." Deadpool slapped himself in the face.

"Why did Hasbro censor Derpy those years ago and not censor your face paint?" Awkward staring. "... Anyways! Where does the magic happen, or do I have to bring it?"

"... Do you know anything about magic?"

"Well, I'm a human, and you're an Earth Pony, so do you?"

"Touche. But what can you bring?" Deadpool pulled a chicken from out on nowhere.

"I have my magical chicken with me! Say hello, Scootaloo!"

"Ack! A chicken!?" A German accent stallion spoke, Seigreid. "Why bring a filzy bird!?"

"Do not mind him!" The other, Roy, spoke. "Our pink prairie dogs are much better zan zat bird."

"Ooh! Wir können einen Dreier haben!" Deadpool suggested

"NEIN!!!" The two, totally-not-gay-German-stallions spoke, turning and running away."

"VAIT!!! Ich habe Schnitzel! Bier! Und Brezeln!" He ran after them while carrying... the Nazi flag... with a picture of Trumpler

"The show is ruined now!" The director yelled. "We only have a few seconds before we begin! Surely this can't get any worse!" The lights were cut off, leaving everyone in darkness... except for the hole in the roof, where the sun began to set.

"Now listen here folks, uh-huhu!" A familiar, weak Elvis impersonation spoke through the intercoms. "Ya'll better stop what ya'll are doing and listen up! Starting right now, I plan to take over this here stage show, turn it back into my grand emporium from before, and get back to running Las Pegasus."

"Oh yeah!?" Deadpool yelled, throwing his Nazi uniform out. "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog! And you're gonna die dropping chunks of burning love!"

"Oh? And you're gonna stop me all alone?"

"Who said I was alone?" Deadpool was in a sensei outfit, still holding the chicken, and walked to the stage while yodeling with some music playing. The spotlights turned to him, to which the audience saw Deadpool walking to the side, where the rich prick Gladmane stood, as much as in pure confusion as the audience.

♬You should know that a man with the power of nature

Can bring you to the end of your luck

And you should know by my stride and the look in my eye

That you're about to be massively forced to give up!♬

He threw the chicken ahead. The bird turned from the animal to a pure white wearing ninja that had on a cute chicken hat on his head. It stood up, doing some flips, and prepared for combat.

♬Chicken attack

Chicken attack

Watch your back before it fades to black

They might look harmless but they'll kick your non-chicken ass!♬

Some of Gladmane's henchmen got up and ran to the chicken ninja. The other Scootaloo easily blocked all their attacks and knocked down his opponents, subduing them, but not killing them, making them fall unconscious.

♬Go chicken go!

Go chicken go!

Now go, now fly

You own the sky♬

With all of the Gladmane's men down, the ninja rolled backwards and jumped into Deadpool's hands, where it turned back into the bird. The crowd cheered and applauded. Gladmane, however, turned and ran away.

♬With the power of nature you're never alone

And you can't let evil run amok

Every beast, every tree follows me to the end

And you're about to be massively F****d!♬

Deadpool threw the chicken ahead. A screen on top showed the streets of Las Pegasus, now night, showing the chases happening outside. Gladmane tripped and bumped into everything you can imagine in the busy streets, but the ninja otherwise was able to slide, jump, or parry over anything thrown at him.

♬Chicken attack

Chicken attack

Watch your back before it fades to black

They might look harmless but they'll kick your non-chicken ass

Go chicken go!

Go chicken go!

Now go, now fly

You own the sky♬

Gladmane was near the end of the city, miles away, exhaused. He cowered as Deadpool stood over him, holding the chicken in his hands.

♬You're young and you're hungry

Perhaps short on money

I give you this chicken today♬

Deadpool gave Gladmane the chicken.

I♬ts eggs for your dinner

Its legs for next winter

You won't have to steal again♬

"You're... a merciful person." Gladmane spoke, tearing up. "You're able to control all animals?"

"いいえ！ 私はちょうどこの素晴らしいビデオを見て、この章でそれを使用しなければなりませんでした。" That's when Applebloom appeared, dressed up as a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magical sword.

"Why the heck are you using fancy words?" She asked

"なぜあなたの両親は生きているのですか？ 私は彼らが死んだと思った！ 家に帰る。 私はまだ次のサムライジャックのエピソードを待っている。" The Chicken turned into a ninja and ran away with Gladmane's mane, revealing it to be a toupee.

♬Go chicken go!

Go chicken go!

Now go, now fly

You own the sky♬

Author's Note:

Thanks Miniladd for finding this song.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

indulges in male anatomy shaped fruit

I don't recall Celestia being associated with that. What are you talking about?

[MrAquino]

8078683 Cucumbers, Pickles, Carrots, eggplants, bananas... Anything long and cylinder shaped like my magnum dong, she enjoys