Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

A Thanksgiving Special

Ahem, An uppity Welcome, and distinguished Hello to you all. Today, I will be retelling one of MrAquino's early, and I do mean, EARLY originals stories from his childhood:

The Ocelot & The Porridge maiden

The f**k's a porridge maiden?

Once there was a HPorridge Maiden who lived in a meadowlark Lemon's duffel bag from the 70's.

I Hate MOne days, she caught Thought an ocelot for to "sup" Jim Davis' Lawyers.

"RobGood Morrow to you" Said the Ocelot "You must find a husband by sunrise or doom will come to you 2 Bad Guys will come out of my ears!"

She went to see the Butcher Statue of Liberty's Deadbeat cousin.

"Will you Marry me?" She asked

"I am married to the meats. A huddled Mass" He said

Next, she went to see the Optic Blasted SmithyBot.

"Will you Marry me?VOIP" she asked Voiped

"I am married to the steel.Save Yourself Little Beep Boop!" He said

Then, she went to seetucked in the Lum Swooper.

"Will you marry me please stop sleeping with that lamp?" She asked

"It's okay, I am married to the chimneys. it" He said

She even went to see the knave.reepo Deepot

"Will you marry me?" She asked low poly-count porridge maiden

"I am married to the chichanery.onette" He said slimed

When she could not find a husband, the Porridge Maiden sat on by a Punk-rock giant to watch the rising sun Wicked solos.

At dawn, the ocelot found her Hdead and pmourned her passing.a drink

"Now, she is married to death. One for my pah'tnuh" said the ocelot.

In the underworld, she gave death a thousand children and cooked his meals refused to be defined by her famous husband and started a successful business knitting lifehacks out of recycled blogs

And that is why baked ocelot is always served in weddings.

The end

Everypony stared at Deadpool awkwardly as he finished my totally legit original story, wearing a pilgrim outfit.

"I don't really have anything about changing that one." He spoke "Except I'd make it... broached ocelot... let's eat!" He pulled out a cooked ocelot and one of his swords.

"This is f**ked up!" Luna spoke, standing up and leaving. Everypony else followed, throwing away either their own pilgrim or native american hats. Deadpool blinked.

We should've told them it was cake.

We should have.

"Another ruined Thanksgiving." Deadpool sighed... then pulled out a pistol and cocked it. "Come on! Let's go Black Friday shopping!"

HYPOCRISY!!!

Comments

[MrAquino]

7747588... What?

[Mal Masque]

And now I'm having nostalgia flashbacks. Just when I thought I had it all, now I get nostalgia flashbacks.

[71M073J]

I like this story, i truly do, but the excessive censorship just ruins it for me (also everyone OOC, but less so).

[MrAquino]

7749778 it's a running joke.

[71M073J]

7749786 where from, what for?
I don't think it has a place in this story, as a story should be pleasantly (or at least, not repulsively) readable by a reader who has no idea what is going on, not for just a select few who actually understand it.
Now, while i do understand that inside jokes are a thing, i even enjoy them, they are a thing that should not obstruct a reader's experience if he does not understand a joke.
On a lighter note though, your portrayal of deadpool's personality is spot on imo.

[MrAquino]

7749790 That's right, mutha f**ka!!! Now get the author to stop my censorship, or else I'm gonna go to his mom's house and-
And you've lost your weapon use permissions.

[71M073J]

7749800 xD i enjoyed it, whatever i may say. Doesn't stop me from disliking, however.