• Published 9th Nov 2014
  • 16,895 Views, 1,922 Comments

Deadpool in Equestria - MrAquino



What happens when Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth, lands in the magical land of Equestria? Same thing that happens in every cross story, but with more Deadpool!!!

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Pimp ma Crib! Pony # 85: Filthy Rich.

Daring Do flared her wings and flew away, leaving Deadpool and Reggie behind.

"Wait!" Deadpool yelled "You my Treasuh! Remember?" Loud blaring was heard in the plane.

WHAT'S GOING ON!?!?!?

We don't have fuel! We're going down!

"Where's the parachute!?" Deadpool hastily looked in his cockpit, but looked up, seeing Reggie had a parachute on him. Before anything could be said, Reggie jumped off and fell down a bit, but his parachute came, letting the snake fall safely. "YOU B*****D!!!" He looked down and pulled out a raft.

A RAFT!?

We're not sinking! WE'RE CRASHING!!!

Deadpool jumped out of the plane, activating the raft for him to fall a bit safely down, as the plane crashed into the side of a mountain! He held onto the raft, as gravity took over, sending the raft down a steep hill, passing the snow, rocks, and forest, all the way into a lake, where he was gently drifted away, heading towards who knows where.

"Oh well! Time to make the best out of it." He pulled out his phone and scrolled the internet, and began to read 'Deadpool in Equestria'. Wait... WHAT!?!?!? HOW ARE YOU-?

Alright... after that... nonsense. Deadpool found himself back near Ponyville, seeing the house of a particular brat.

"Oh yeah! I wonder how much Bronies will pay me to make short work of Diamond Tiara? Hm... Nah! KICK THE BRAT!!!" He teleported right into the backyard, where Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were busy tanning themselves with butlers & maids fanning them while serving lemonade. Diamond looked up and saw Deadpool in a ball position, heading into her pool.

"What the-!?" Diamond yelled

"CANONBALL!!!

Sorry, but. no. The pool was emptied of all it's water, and Diamond Tiara, Silver spoon, the butlers & maids, the house & all it's surroundings were now just soaking with water.

"Was that... Deadpool?" Silver Spoon asked

"Who else but Deadpool!" Diamond snapped. She stood up from her chair and walked to edge of her now empty pool, seeing Deadpool flop around like fish while making gasping noise.

"Water!" Deadpool yelled, still acting like a fish "I need water!"

"Get out of my pool!"

"Please... Water!!!"

"I said GET OUT!!!"

"Water!!!"

"OUT!!!"

"WATER!!!"

"DO I HAVE TO-"

"Hold it right there, Diamond!" a western sounding male voice spoke. Deadpool stopped flopping and looked up: also standing near the edge was a middle aged looking light brown earth pony with a black & grey mane, who wore a red tie, a white & blue collar, and on said tie was a dollar sign, matching his cutie mark of three identifiable bags with money labels on them.

"But dad! Don't you see what he's doing!?"

"Yes Diamond, I do. But I forgive him; losing you would be much more painful rather than losing the pool, and I'm thankful that he saved you and your friend before anything bad can happen."

He actually cares about her!?

Pfft! White people!

Deadpool yelled.

Diamond and her father looked down at Deadpool.

"Pardon my daughter, good sir," Diamond's father spoke, being patient as patient can be. "but I've never had the chance to meet you face to face before. As you've heard, I am thankful my daughter is safe, and I would like to repay you. The name's-" Deadpool teleported right in front of him

"Filthy Mother f***ing Rich!!!" Deadpool interrupted. Filthy's pupils shrunk at that comment. He cleared his throat and adjusted his tie.

"I'm not sure about that middle, but yes, that's my name. And please, I prefer 'Rich'." He extended his hoof in a gentleman way. Deadpool accepted it and shook his hoof.

"Name's Deadpool, in case your... sweet angel... forgot to tell you about me."

Hopefully, he'll forget her soon!

That's... kinda dark.

"No need for her to tell me," Filthy responded "I've heard a bunch of things about you and all you've done. I thank you for saving my sweet daughter, and I wish to repay you for adding some more excitement in our lives with saving our flanks multiple times. Let me get it ready for you, in the mean time, DIAMOND!!!"

"Yes Daddy?" Diamond asked

"Take Mr.Deadpool inside and wait with him. If he requests something, please, serve him."

"But Daddy-!"

"Don't 'But Daddy' Me! Silver Spoon can help you out if you want, right Silver!?"

"Yes Mr. Rich!" Silver replied, getting off her chair.

"Alright. All of you have fun while I make sure his gift is ready." Filthy left them, heading towards where Deadpool's gift was at. Deadpool smiled evilly under his mask.

Are we going to football kick them!?

I'm thinking something more torturous.

"Ugh... come on." Diamond spoke. The three walked inside Diamond's home: it really was a complete mansion! A painting of who must've been the first of the riches hung over a fireplace, a kitchen with the most healthiest of foods were in there, a whole T.V. set that looked similar to Squidward's T.V. in that 'imagination' episode, and, a fresh, white couch was in the middle.

2:27-5:00

Filthy Rich entered the room, stopping as Deadpool crawled over to his feet.

"Ma legs!!!" Deadpool yelled "Now I can't do my bada** things anymore!"

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?!?!?" Filthy Rich yelled

"He grinded his dirty feet on our couch!!!" Diamond yelled

"And that gave you both the right to break his legs!?"

"...It was mostly her." Silver Spoon pointed.

"SILVER!!!" Diamond yelled

"Hey! I would be fine just pushing him off, but breaking his legs, that's too far, even for you."

"Ya'll... evil... mother f***ers!" Deadpool yelled doing his best Rick James voice "F**k yo couch!"

"Hey!" Diamond yelled "You have that healing thing of yours! USE IT!!!"

"Is that true?" Filthy asked.

"... Fine." Deadpool broke his legs back into place, then got up and walked around again. "Ya happy!?"

"... strange. Well come along, I gotta show you my gift to you!"

"But what about the couch!?" Diamond whined

"We're getting a new couch, Diamond. We never sat on that thing for over 6 months!"

"...You really did need a new couch!" Silver Spoon commented.

The two approached what looked like a regular house, just a few blocks north from Ponyville.

"Well?" Filthy asked "How do you feel!?"

"...What is it?" Deadpool asked

"It's your new home! Hearing how you've been sleeping with everyone as a stranger, I figured it's time you got yourself a new home right near our little town! It's got all you need: kitchen, bathroom, washroom, personal bedroom, living room, dining room, and closets. How do you feel about it?"

"...Let's check and see!" Deadpool opened the door and saw, though empty, it was like any other house in Ponyville. He fell to the floor and rubbed himself all over the carpet. "Oh yeah! The new house smell! So... good!"

"Do you need a tour of the place?"

"Nah... I'm good."

"Well... if there's anything you need, I'm here!"

"Yeah... that sounds good... wait... I do have one thing."

"And that is?" Deadpool lazily took out his cellphone.

"A Selfie to remember this."

"... Oh! Those pictures with everypony around here! Sure." Filthy walked over to Deadpool, but stood there awkwardly for a few moments. "Is it alright if you get up?"

"Sorry... too good of a smell to pass up. Lie down with me."

"Um... that wouldn't be too... professional of me... Deadpool."

"Oh come one... it's alright! Nopony's going to find out."

"Um... if you say so." Filthy fell to the floor and adjusted himself to his back. He, being grown and professional about his life, felt this was weird, but he had to agree with Deadpool, the new carpet smell was great.

"Say 'Business'."

"...Business." The picture was taken. Filthy rolled himself back up to his feet. "Well... so long Mr. Deadpool. I'm sure you have bits to get some nice stuff here."

"Oh I don't need bits."

"... If you say so." He walked away from Deadpool's home. Deadpool lazily got up.

"Alright house... prepared to be Pool-ified!"

"With my help!?" Discord asked, appearing next to him in a puff of smoke

"Oh yes! You got that picture!?"

"Sure did! Great blackmail to use on him if he decides to take back this new home of yours!"

"Home!? Nah bro, this is my crib! Just wait until tonight! You gave the invitation papers out?"

"The rest are already on that."

"Good! Let's pimp this place up! HIT IT!!!" The two got to work, making the place look even more epic!

Author's Note:

Most of you thought this at first, I can tell:

Who should Deadpool meet next at the party that night?

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