Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

Movie Spoilers. Ponies 226 & 227, (Hippogriffs/Seaponies) (2 & 3/ 1&2), (Possible) Griffin #4 , and a Kitty! Tempest Shadow, Songbird Serenade, Queen Novo, Princess Skystar, Captain Celaeno, And Capper... whatever Gruber and the Storm King are

Deadpool woke up in a cage.

"Oh crap! Did we miss that party!?"

I wouldn't be surprised.

Look! Monkeys!

"Monkeys!? Where!" Deadpool looked around, only to have his cage smacked by something. Turning, Deadpool turned to see what was a large, monkey looking creature wearing black armor and mask, which had an emblem of light blue lightning. on it's sides and chestpiece. Looking, Deadpool saw that like him, everypony was in a cage, or in shackles, acting as slaves. "... What the f**k!? Why are we always so late!?"

Maybe if you had planned things ahead, none of this would happen.

Plans, schlams! We have one thing in life!

"Skills! With a Z at the end!"

And how are we going to get out? You should use your head.

"Oh yeah!" Deadpool headbutted the lock on his cage. The lock came off and the cage opened.

Ugh... idiot!

We're geniuses!

The weird, large monkey creatures noticed and spoke to each other in their weird language, surrounding Deadpool's cage.

"Hey, sorry to go, but I have to check on my Mooncheeks!" He teleported away. They all screamed and ordered each other to be on the lookout for Deadpool.

---

Deadpool slammed opened the throne room and walked in.

"Oh mooncheeks! I'm He~re!" He announced, seeing her, as well as Celestia and Cadence's silhouettes, standing still. "Ooh! You're right here! Listen, babe, I apologize for not being at this here friendship festival, but Equestria has so many parties, I begin to wonder if this is just a different version of totalitarianism."

Like the Emoji movie!

Why did we watch it on Pornhub?

Deadpool walked over to Luna and rested his head on her side.

"So, can you forgive me?" Silence. "... Giving me the silent treatment, eh? Well two can play!"

Well you lost.

"Come on, speak to me!... How about you two? Care to forgive me?" Silence. "... We need some light in here." He opened the curtain, showing the petrified statues of the three princesses. "AHH!!! DISHONORED 2!!!" The door to the balcony opened, revealing a very tall, Satyr-like creature, wearing the same armor like the large monkeys outside, but showed his face.

"Oh? A guest?" He asked rather mockingly. "I know the place needs some redecorating. It reads too much like a girly thing, and I need something better." Deadpool stared for a bit. "What's the matter? You see a ghost or something?" The satyr's voice made Deadpool remember the past... back in 2009, the X-Men prequel that ruined his reputation.

"YOU!!!" Deadpool pointed.

"Oh great, a pony lover. Look, I don't care how you feel about them, but-"

"Liev Schreiber! Sabertooth! 2009! X-Men Origins: Wolverine! The movie that made 'The Merc with the Mouth' into 'The Merc without the mouth'! The single movie that ruined my reputation!" He stared at him.

"... I don't recall meeting you. The name's Storm King, not... whoever you're saying. If you think I'm soneone else, then you, my friend are-" Deadpool pulled out twin assault rifles. "Where'd you get those?"

"EAT LEAD, MOTHA F***ER!!!" Deadpool pulled the triggers... only to hear loud clicks. He looked at the magazines, seeing no bullets were in them. "... S**t." He was grabbed by the face.

"Attempting to kill the king!? How ridiculous! I am the Storm King, the future ruler of all lands! And as soon as I get the last Alicorn, their magic will be mine, and I will-"

"Boo! Tirek did it!" Storm King blinked and saw his hand had a rock in it instead. Deadpool sat on the throne. "Sheesh, this is SO soft! But boo! Tirke already did that! And he's in hell!"

"Tirek? Please, I'm more of a legend than him, and-"

"Legend!? You were just introduced to the movie! No one knows who the f**k you are! not even the princesses... I think. Say, what happened to them? Why are they frozen into statues?"

"... I need their magic to rule the world."

"So you froze them?"

"Yep!"

"... You froze... my Mooncheeks?"

"Don't know who that is... oh! You're dating a pwetty pony? That's so sweet!... Bleh! That's gross, even for-"

"I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!" Deadpool charged at the Strom King, only to be blocked by one of his hands, with him leaning and yawning.

"As I was saying, this is pretty sad to see someone like you, who I will admit, looked a bit cool, only to have that all wipe away when you said you're dating a pony. I mean, what do you see in them? They're nothing more but dumb, fun having creatures that-" The door opened, revealing a different unicorn with Twilight in a cage, dragged by two other pony slaves. Said different unicorn was a dark purple with a darker, Mohawk mane, and in the same armor as the Storm King wore, but her right eye had a scar, and her horn was broken.

"Your majesty?" She asked, rather surprised. "I have captured the last princess and-" Her horn zapped a bit, and Deadpool was pulled to her side.

"... Magnets, how do they work?" He asked.

"Oh goody! Set her up over there." Storm King ordered. "And we seem to have a bit of an intruder in our hands... or hooves... please, dispose of him for-"

"You are so cute!" Deadpool spoke, rubbing the unicorn's cheeks together. "Who's a good fiwwy? Who's a good fiwwy?" The unicorn groaned and threw her out of the window. "I WANT MY SNUUUUUGLES!!!" He crashed on the floor, breaking every bone in his body.

Ouch.

Let's do it again!

The large, monkey creatures surrounded him, speaking in their weird gibberish. Deadpool got up, healed up by his healing factor.

"Listen, fellas," he began "can't we all just get along and settle over a pint?" He was picked up by his face. "I guess not." He teleported away, making them all yell in anger. Deadpool landed on another and looked up, seeing the castle glow, and the Storm King on the balcony with his staff mix, making the sun and moon raise and set.

If I were to guess, he took the princesses magic in that staff of his.

I thought it was his personal toy.

"Or a pole he practices with." Deadpool added. "And we'll have to get back up there." Deadpool teleported right back to the action, as the Storm King was about to make a literal storm in Canterlot.

"Yes!" He cheered! "Now we can make this storm go! And I will-"

"What is up with you villains on wanting to rule the world?" Storm King turned to Deadpool.

"What the-!? Tempest!" The broken horn mare looked at Deadpool with an annoyed look.

"Seriously, why do villains always want to rule the world? Have all the literal superpowers is one thing, both comic book wise and geographically wise, but what are you gonna do after that? Just sit there and be bored until someone, or some people, start talk of a revolution? And you're no Aku, good sir. Besides, we all know you're gonna betray... Tempest Shadow, was it?"

"Bah! You know nothing about us!"

"Except that you're a one dimensional, pony hater, and she's your slave because she believes that you will give her back her horn?" An awkward stare came from the two.

"How did you-?" Tempest asked.

"I heard your song just now. Really good vocal ranges!" Tempest turned to the Storm King.

"Is he right? Are you going to betray me?"

"Besides me considered 'one dimensional'," The Storm King replied. "Of course! I don't care about your stupid horn! You think I care about ponies? Even those who worship me?" He shoved Tempest next to Deadpool before aiming his staff at the two. "Say goodnight, pony!"

"Heh, no." Deadpool mockingly spoke, slapping on half of a helmet over Tempest's face. The helmet was sharp looking, kinda similar looking to a Queen Xenomorph from the alien movies, but had a sharp looking horn on it, and had a curve in where the head piece should be at.

"What the-!?" Tempest spoke. "What the hay are you-?"

"We're gonna get ourselves some revenge." Deadpool put on the other half of the helmet. They began to glow. "This is gonna get weird, but also awesome!" Like magnets, their faces, and bodies were pushed together, side by side, until they were seemingly put together. Storm King covered his eyes from the sheer brightness.

Right outside Canterlot's marketplace, a cake was wheeled in by the rest of the Mane 6, with Spike on top of said cake, acting like a figure, with a bipedal cat next to them.

"Uh, excuse me," he spoke, "I'm here to deliver a cake for the Storm King and-"

BOOM!!!

An explosion of light exploded erupted from the Princesses' castle, with a figure falling from the sky.

"What the hay!?" Applejack yelled, getting out of her shackles.

"We're too late!" Rainbow added. The cake 'melted' as a bipedal, griffin pirate captain and others, along with a hippogriff that was, well, skinnier and leaner than Silverquill.

"I knew this plan was stupid." The captain spoke. Pinkie squealed and pulled out a boombox.

"PINKIE!!!" Rarity yelled. "Now's not the time for music!"

"Oh yeah! HIT IT!!!" Pinkie pressed the play button.

Landing in the middle of the market circle, was a bipedal pony-human hybrid! The helmet was the one Deadpool put on with Tempest, but the body itself, while having all the feminine parts, looked pretty masculine as well. It wore a breastplate that stopped at it's knees, with metal boots and gauntlets over it's hands. The armor had the blue coloring of the Storm King's, but it's symbols was Deadpool's face, with the black armor having a bit of a red tint to it.

"We are one," it spoke. "We are... Tempool!" The Storm King's guards charged at it. Tempool charged at the one in front of him, grabbing and tossing him into the air, before delivering a powerful kick to one of it's allies. A surge of electricity came through Tempool's body, making it slam it's fist to the floor, releasing a shockwave of electricity to some nearby guards, making them stop in place and twitch. Following it's move, Tempool pulled out one of the stone spheres and threw it point blank at one of the S.K.'s guard's face, turning it into stone in a few seconds. Swiftly, Tempool grabbed the statue turned guard and slammed it at another's face, shattering the statue in the process as it knocked the other out. A huge crowd of Guards charged at Tempool. Smirking, Tempool teleported away, reappearing in the middle of the crowd, tripped all of them, and delivered a devastating punch to their faces that may have knocked a few teeth out, followed by breaking their jaw.

More of the SK's guards came down from their zeppelins, surrounding Tempool. Tempool jumped onto the fountain statue, pulled out 2 M4 Assault Rifles, and, with a bit of it's electrical charge, fired a barrage of electricity infused bullets that either hit their exposed skin and/or released a surge of electricity in their armor, making them stop. When all of the surrounding forces were down, and Tempool's rifles were out of ammo, not only did it dispose them, but it charged at one of the grounded zeppelins that were releasing more of the SK's guards. Tempool's speed increased with each second, and more lightning came out, which zapped each lock off of everypony's cage, freeing them. The front of the SK's guards were lucky, only having been knocked down and zapped away, as the further back ones turned into ashes, and, when Tempool was in the Zeppelin, it exploded, firing the Tempest-Deadpool hybrid out with only a few scratches and burns, landing in front of the rest of the mane 6 and friends, who's mouths were utterly dropped, minus Pinkie, who was dressed up like Thor and smiling. A glow came from Tempool, and both Deadpool and Tempest were seperated once again, with tempest looking in utter shock.

"What... was that?" She asked.

"A short fusion taken from Dragon Ball Z." Deadpool answered and winked. Out on the streets, the Storm King came out.

"Alright!" He yelled "That... was freaking cool! I won't lie! But... not only have you made my soldiers look like babies attempting to walk, but you made my army retreat in utter fear." Above, the zeppelins flew away. "So it looks like it's up to me to show them that you're nothing compared to the might that is-"

"You talk too much." Deadpool spoke, delivering a punch to the SK's nuts, making him wheeze and fall to the floor. Wade picked up his staff.

"Oh no!" Tempest spoke. "Listen! Be careful with that! That's-" Deadpool easily snapped the staff effortlessly with both of his hands. The magic flew back to the castle, freeing the princesses from their stone prisons. Wade picked up the Storm King and threw him off the side of the balcony.

"Pinkie!" Pinkie saluted and tossed Deadpool two more M4 Assault rifles. Deadpool turned around with his assault rifles and unleased all his bullets at the Storm King as he fell to his death on the hard floor. The Storm King fell to the floor with a faint splat noise. "F**K YOU, SCHRIBER!!!" He pulled out a grenade launcher and fired all the grenades at the SK's corpse, leaving only a small, black crater, and a couple of limbs around. It was then followed by Deadpool unzipping his pants and peeing on the crater, relieving himself thoroughly.

Such a beautiful work of art.

It's overkill if you ask me.

"It's both." Deadpool zipped up his pants and turned to the other, with the princesses, having watched the scene unfold. "... What!? He was an a**hole! I'm a d**k! D**ks f**k a**holes. But, I think we have a party to start here!"

---

A change of plans was made with the Sia pony, Songbird Serenade. After her BORING, more sad tune filled song that could work for an indie movie, Deadpool and Luna stood on stage, with Deadpool and every guy dressed up in their own suit, and Luna with every other gal dressed up as if they were Carmen San Diego. It didn't take long for a certain upbeat song to play.

Here we go, off the rails

Don't you know it's time to raise our sails?

It's freedom like you never knew

Don't need bags or a pass,

Say the word, I'll be there in a flash

You could say my hat is off to you

Oh, we can zoom all the way to the moon,

From this great wide wacky world,

Jump with me, grab coins with me, oh yeah!

It's time to jump up in the air,

(Jump up in the air),

Jump up, don't be scared,

(Jump up, don't be scared),

Jump up and your cares will soar away,

(oohoohooh),

And if the dark clouds start to swirl,

(Dark clouds start to swirl)

Don't fear, don't shed a tear, 'cause

I'll be your 1-Up Girl

(You'll be my 1-Up Girl)

So let's all jump up super high, (Jump up super high),

High up in the sky, (High up in the sky),

There's no power-up like dancing,

You know that you're my Super Star, (You're my Super Star)

No one else can take me this far

I'm flipping the switch,

Get ready for this,

Ohh, ohh, let's do the Odyssey!

Odyssey, ya see

Odyssey, ya see

Odyssey, ya see

Odyssey, ya see

Odyssey, ya see

Odyssey, ya see

Odyssey, ya see

Odyssey, Odyssey!

Spin the wheel, take a chance

Every journey starts a new romance

A new world's calling out to you

Take a turn, off the path

Find a new addition to the cast,

You know that any captain needs a crew

Take it in stride as you move, side to side,

They're just different points of view

Jump with me, grab coins with me, Oh yeah!

Come on and jump up in the air, (Jump up in the air),

Jump without a care, (Jump without a care),

Jump up 'cause you know that I'll be there

And if you find you're short on joy,

(Find you're short on joy)

Don't fret, just don't forget that

You're still my 1-Up Boy

(I'm still your 1-Up Boy)

So go on, straighten out your cap,

(Straighten out your cap),

Let your toes begin to tap,

(Toes begin to tap),

This rhythm is a power 'shroom

(oohoohooh)

Jump on it; You're the Super Star

(You're the Super Star)

No one else can make it this far

Put a comb through that stache,

Now you've got panache

Ohh, ohh, let's do the Odyssey!

It's time to jump up in the air,

(Jump up in the air),

Jump up, don't be scared,

(Jump up don't be scared),

Jump up and your cares will soar away,

(oohoohooh),

And if the dark clouds start to swirl,

(Dark clouds start to swirl),

Don't fear, don't shed a tear 'cause

I'll be your 1-Up Girl

(You're still be my 1-Up Girl)

Now listen all you boys and girls,

(All you boys and girls),

All around the world,

(All around the world),

Don't be afraid to get up and move

You know that we're all Super Stars,

(We're all Super Stars)

We're the ones who've made it this far

Put a smile on that face,

There's no time to waste,

Sooo, let's do the Odyssey!

Deadpool took off the bottom part of his mask and delivered a passionate kiss to Luna, with fireworks exploding behind them, getting more cheer for them than Sia. And in that kiss, Deadpool kicked the weird Stitch-Bunga look-a-like that was Gruber.

Author's Note:

I wanted to follow the ENTIRE movie, but that took take WAY to long to do... plus, Thor Ragnarock came out, so I had to do that scene.

The Deadpool-Tempest hybrid's a mix of these 2 pictures I found. Helmet more based off this, but the rest on this.

Comments

[Barracuda cyborg]

This was worth the wait. I love it! :D

[R-Bot]

I love that music from Mario

[R-Bot]

"... Magnets, how do they work?" He asked.

Reference from Death Battle: Godzilla vs Gamera

[Paulli]

All, right, serves him right, wut a coincidence, Liev Schreiber is also in a Marvel movie. Maybe including Deadpool was a great idea after all.

[Jrarulez]

"Pinkie!" Pinkie saluted and tossed Deadpool two more M4 Assault rifles. Deadpool turned around with his assault rifles and unleased all his bullets at the Storm King as he fell to his death on the hard floor. The Storm King fell to the floor with a faint splat noise. "F**K YOU, SCHRIBER!!!" He pulled out a grenade launcher and fired all the grenades at the SK's corpse, leaving only a small, black crater, and a couple of limbs around. It was then followed by Deadpool unzipping his pants and peeing on the crater, relieving himself thoroughly.

The disrespect! XD