Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

NNNEEERRRDDD!!! Pony # 175: Quibble Pants

Deadpool squeed around him. Some ponies became big fans of Deadpool, and to show their affection, they made Dead-Con, a comic con-ish convention where everything is Deadpool themed. Many ponies walked around cosplaying as the Merc with the mouth, some looking like legit ponified Deadpools, others with costumes that look worse than-

"We're not going back there, MrAquino!" He yelled.

Awe~! Look! Even some of the fiwwies are dwessing up as us!

Indeed. Now, proceed with the describing of the convention, please?

Of course, Stuffy. All around Deadpool, there were different stores open, each different from the others. One sold different statues, each in different poses, next to that was one that sold plushies, and next to that one sold different posters & artwork of Deadpool. The one that got his attention, however, was-

"BODY PILLOWS!!!" He yelled, running and holding a pillow of himself, snuggling with it. "Mmm... so comfy! I swear, if Mooncheeks and I break up, I'm going to get one of these pillows and, just like Justin Beiber, love myself."

Ew.

Wait... if you have sex with yourself... is it gay or a different version of mast-?

"Wow! Great costume." Another voice spoke.

"AHH!!! RAT!!!" Deadpool screamed, jumping and holding onto the roof of the stall.

"Rat? Where!?" Deadpool looked down to see a slightly pudgy, tan, earth pony stallion with a Daring Do colored mane & style.

"Oh! Nevermind, you just sound like a rat."

"...Uh... how, exactly?" He landed near the stallion.

"You're voiced by Patton Oswalt. He voices you and Remmy from Ratatouille."

"...Okay... well, you seem well in character, good sir."

"In character!?"

"Yeah! You got Deadpool's costume right in everyway! Name's Quibble Pants. What's your name?"

"...I AM DEADPOOL!!! MERC WITH THE MOUTH!!! THE REGENERATING DEGENERATE!!! THE-"

"Yeah, yeah, it's good that you're in character, but it seems other ponies are doing it as well."

"I'm not acting as Deadpool. I AM Deadpool."

"Pfft! Yeah, and I'm Daring Do."

"Ahem! Do I look like a pony!?"

"No, of course not. ...You're probably a Minotaur. I've never meet a Minotaur, before!" Deadpool face palmed himself.

"I do not have horns."

"I know... it's fine, not every bull gets horns as fast."

"What the-!? Ohh! You're making me angry!"

"Hey, it's okay to be under performing from your family tree."

"I am the real Deadpool!"

"Do you have proof?" Deadpool took off his mask.

"How's this!?"

"...Hm... nice use of cornflakes, man! That really does look like you're ugly."

"Why you little-!" He pulled out his phone and showed his selfies. "Bam! My selfies with everypony!"

"Ooh! How'd you get his cellphone! Did you get his cellphone after he tossed it away, never doing selfies again?"

"I still take selfies!!!"

"You found a way to use his phone?"

"... Know what? I think we should o something that the real Deadpool knows how to do: Sing! ... And not the Cheap looking Zootopia film with twerking bunnies."

"...What?"

"Hit it!"

Quibble Pants stood on a podium, wearing a nurse outfit, and below, Deadpool was surrounded by the other cosplayers

"May I have your attention please?" Quibble Pants asked as music began to play. "May I have your attention please? Will the real Wade Wilson please stand up? I repeat will the real Wade Wilson please stand up?We're going to have a problem here."

♫Y'all act like you never seen a Canadian before

Jaws all on the floor like Lee and Kirby just burst in the door

Started whoopin' your ass worse than before, they first just beat yours

Throwing you over furniture

It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding,

He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"

And Slade Wilson said

Nothing you idiots Slade Wilson's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha)

Pegasis' women love Aquino, chicka chicka chicka "Wade Wilson I'm sick of him

Look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what

Flippin' the you know who" "yeah, but he's funny though"

Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

But no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms

Sometimes I want to get on TV and just let loose, but can't,

But it's cool for Wolvie to hump a dead moose

My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips

And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss

And that's the message that we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know what the Killing Joke is.

Of course they gonna know what insanity is by the time they hit 4th grade,

They got the all cartoon channels, don't they?

We ain't nothing but mammals,

Well some of us cannibals, who cut other people open like cantaloupes.

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope

But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.

Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes♫

♫I'm Wade Wilson, yes I'm the real Deadpool

All you other Wade Wilsons are just imitating

So won't the real Wade Wilson, please stand up,

Please stand up,

Please stand up

'Cause I'm Wade Wilson, yes I'm the real Deadpool

All you other Wade Wilsons are just imitating

So won't the real Wade Wilson, please stand up,

Please stand up,

Please stand up♫

♫Batman don't gotta kill in his films to sell tickets

Well I do, so f**k him and f**k you too.

You think I give a damn about a Grammy?

Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.

"But Wade what if you win wouldn't it be weird?"

Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?

So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.

S**t, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst

And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.

Little b***h put me on blast on M-T-V

"Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, he he"

I should download her audio on mp3

And show the whole world how you gave Aquino V.D.

I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me

So I've been sent here to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me

Who cuss like me, who just don't give a f**k like me, who dress like me

Walk, talk and act like me, it just might be the next best thing,

But not quite me♫

♫'Cause I'm Wade Wilson, yes I'm the real Deadpool

All you other Wade Wilsons are just imitating

So won't the real Wade Wilson, please stand up,

Please stand up,

Please stand up

'Cause I'm Wade Wilson, yes I'm the real Deadpool

All you other Wade Wilsons are just imitating

So won't the real Wade Wilson, please stand up,

Please stand up,

Please stand up♫

♫I'm like a head trip to listen to

'Cause I'm only giving you, things you joke about with your friends

Inside your living room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all

And I don't gotta be false or sugar coat it at all

I just get on the mic and spit it, and whether you like to admit it (rip)

I just s**t it better than 90 percent of you rappers out there

Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums, it's funny

'Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting.

Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens

And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working

And every single person is a Wade Wilson lurkin' he could be workin' at Burger King

Spitten on your onion rings

Or in the parking lot circling,

Screaming I don't give a f**k with his windows down and system up

So will the real Wilson, please stand up

And put one of those fingers on each hand up

And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?♫

♫'Cause I'm Wade Wilson, yes I'm the real Deadpool

All you other Wade Wilsons are just imitating

So won't the real Wade Wilson, please stand up,

Please stand up,

Please stand up

'Cause I'm Wade Wilson, yes I'm the real Deadpool

All you other Wade Wilsons are just imitating

So won't the real Wade Wilson, please stand up,

Please stand up,

Please stand up

'Cause I'm Wade Wilson, yes I'm the real Deadpool

All you other Wade Wilsons are just imitating

So won't the real Wade Wilson, please stand up,

Please stand up,

Please stand up

'Cause I'm Wade Wilson, yes I'm the real Deadpool

All you other Wade Wilsons are just imitating

So won't the real Wade Wilson, please stand up,

Please stand up,

Please stand up♫

"Haha, I guess there's a Wade Wislon in all of us," Deadpool concluded, riding Luna's back. "F**k it, Let's all stand up."

As soon as it ended, everyone blinked, wondering what just happened. Quibble pants only concluded with one thing.

"...You're really Deadpool."

"Yep! And now, I must go and ride my beautiful Luna... both ways." Luna smirked as she put on her own Deadpool mask.

"...How do you see through this thing?"

"Years of experience, Mooncheeks, just like what you're going to get."

"Mmm... kinky." The crowd of cosplayers cringed at the thought of the two getting it on again.

"Oh quit your whining! Be glad I'm not making fun of you virgins! Onwards!!!" Luna flapped her wings, breaking through the ceiling, and headed to Cloud 9... both ways.

Author's Note:

Fun fact: My Uncle actually cosplays at Comic Con as his own character, a sky pirate, but not for fun like us, but to get lucky... no, not cosplay contests, but for the ladies. Dirty, I know, but, eh, he's in California and he does strange jobs, so what can I say?

Comments

[FrostTheWolf]

My Uncle actually cosplays at Comic Con as his own character, a sky pirate, but not for fun like us, but to get lucky... no, not cosplay contests, but for the ladies. Dirty, I know, but, eh, he's in California and he does strange jobs, so what can I say?

Now if only you were there and we were able to actually meet...

[MrAquino]

7452717 And someone records us meeting each other with this playing.

[FrostTheWolf]

7452723 xD. I live nearby San Diego, so why not?

[DarkSpider]

How about Deadpool meets that Calavairon guy from that episode, or whatever his name is. Or did that already happen?

[Mal Masque]

Niiiiiiiice rewrite of a song I normally despise. Although, I kinda think that the Remmy the Rat joke has been... played out too much by now. Either way, good chapter.

[Crescent Glaive]

7455210 Ya~ar!!! Limb Stitch!!! We be needing a few glass eyes fo' the fella here!pre08.deviantart.net/81ec/th/pre/f/2013/214/1/6/flutter_medic_by_alotfangirl-d6geh69.jpg
An' stop lollygagging and playing around!!

[ArcticAce01]

7452723 hello 2 things 1. LOVE THIS FANFIC KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

And 2. You don't have to do this but... Do accept OC for this book you know just in case we don't a new MLP character you do people OC if you allow it that is or if you want to do there fine it's just a suggestion because I think deadpool will love my OC if you want to do this idea

[MrAquino]

7489037 pm me.

[ArcticAce01]

7489704 ok