Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

Catching up.

... Hello? New chapter? You up?

Uh... I don't mean to interrupt you, but we're being read right now.

W-wha-!? Hey! Wade! Get off your lazy ass and do something funny and random!

We're not actually a part of him anymore... at least not now.

What? Then what's going on!?

Nothing's going on. It's just us two... most likely floating in oblivion.

Why though?

Well, assuming the smell of marijuana from the reader and various shrines of Adolf Hitler right behind them, it's 4/20.

Wait. What!?

Yep. Today is 4/20, and-

No, not that. Adolf Hitler was born on 4/20!?

We've discussed this multiple times already! Hitler was born on April 20th!

Uh... right... so... what are we going to do?

I don't know... maybe put a PSA about the dangers of smoking weed?

That sounds fun! Kids, smoke weed! It's good!

NO!!! What the f**k!? It's not good!

Right. Smoke weed after your brain is fully developed, so... when you're 25.

No! We can't tell them that! Tell them the dangers of it!

What dangers? Alcohol kills 88,000 people a year. Tobacco kills 480,000 people a year. But weed has never killed anyone! Not unless you count the drug dealers. And we as people have been doing it for a millennia.

Excuse me!?

Yeah. We grew it as a crop over 8000 years ago, in 440 B.C.E, Heraditous wrote about the ancient tradition of cannibus steam baths, and in America for many years, marijuana has been available for over the counter medication. Hell, weed was available for many years and no one cared about it.

But... something must've changed, right?

Easy: 1930's racism! People were afraid of Mexicans, most Mexicans smoked weed, weed was demonized. It's weird, true, and freaky.

All... because of some racist a**holes?

Yep! And the Government knew about it! They knew all the racist things about Marijuana was false. Scientists proved it didn't cause insanity or violence in the 40's. In fact, Nixon was supposed to cancel it, but since he was Nixon, he said no, and, as his ward quote: "We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroine, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about drugs? Of course we did."

... F**k... damn... wait a minute... has Wade been smoking weed!?

... Yeah. My sudden knowledge of everything, and you becoming the idiot, that must mean Wade is actually smoking weed with Tree Hugger!

God damn it! That explains everything! And I thought by the title, we were going to see Mudbriar, Jackpot, Big Bucks, Apple Rose, Applesauce, and Goldie Delicious.

If he were, then there would be the pound sign with the number and pony names.

... I hate it when you're right.

Hey, that's 4/20 for you.

Author's Note:

Comments

[DarkSpider]

Well. That was unexpected. More so than usual

[Macdaverin]

Welp, that happened.
See ya in your new movie DP!!!
And Mr. Aquino
We might think you need help. (Looks at angry Zionist militants in the distance.)