Deadpool in Equestria

by MrAquino

CRIKEY!!! Ponies #249-252: Aunt Holiday & Lofty, Mane Allgood, and Snap Shutter

Deadpool snuck around a house, wearing very small cargo shorts and a button up shirt.

"G'day, and welcome to Pony Hunter!" He greeted with an Australian accent. "Today, we've got a LOAD of ponies to encounter, namely, Australian stereotypes, and cannon lesbians! While I know I'm late for pride month, but you should know, once you go gay, you never leave without something up yer ass. And speaking of which, I placed a tracker on a little filly named Scootaloo to find where they're all gathered in, and she's in this here house. Let's take a looksee." Deadpool peaked in through a window. Inside, Scootaloo sat between a pair of middle aged mares and a rather young looking couple. One of the mares was rather big earth pony wearing a scarf and had long red-orange mane & tail, while the other was a lean pegasus wearing a sweater and had a short blue mane & tail. The couple both looked to be from Australia, with the wife looking like Terri Irwin as a pegasus and the husband looking like Crocodile Dundee. Scootaloo wore an obvious looking tracking device strapped to her back.

"Um, Scootaloo?" Her mom asked. "What are you wearing?"

"I dunno." Scootaloo replied. "Deadpool told me to wear this for a show he's making."

"Deadpool?" The large mare, Holiday, asked.

"You've been hanging out with that violent man?" The other mare, Lofty, added. Deadpool lowered down and turned around.

"Uh oh! They're talking mad s**t for someone in a bullet distance! But I've got the element of surprise right by-"

"Oi! Who're you!?" The Australlian accent of Scootaloo's dad was heard. Deadpool looked up to see the gruff stallion looking down at him.

"Crickey! I've been spotted! Looks like it's time for Plan B!" Deadpoool got up and lunged at the stallion, tackling him. Everyone inside watched as Snap Shutter and Deadpool rolled across the floor, wrestling for domination.

"Dad!? Deadpool!?" Scootaloo yelled.

"I called it!" Lofty shouted. Deadpool got onto Snap Shutter's chest and delivered a few slaps to the stallion's face.

"Wassup, Snap!" Deadpool spoke. "I'm only doing this 'cause I love you!" Snap bucked Deadpool off and into the wall, breaking a shelf with expensive looking china.

"Oi! You're not gonna get away from me this time, mate!" The gruff earth pony quickly threw something at Deadpool that caused him to scream in pain. Deadpool looked down to see that a sai was in his shoulder.

"What the hell!? Is that one of Scootaloo's sais!?"

"Yep." Deadpool pulled the sai right out, whimpering a bit as he did it before throwing it right back, only knocking off the stallion's hat. Wade charged at the stallion, causing both to crash through a wall leading to the kitchen. Snap Shutter got up and grabbed Deadpool, punching the merc in his gut. Wade returned with a hard slap across his face. Both gave each a few hard slaps to their faces, before Deapool kicked Snap to a wall and tackled through it, causing a huge hole in the side of the house into the backyard. Outside, having a cookout, was Applebloom's and Sweetie Belle's families, all shocked and surprised to see both men fighting each other. Scootaloo, her aunts, and mom walked out and watched the hassle, with Lofty enjoying herself some tea.

"Um... should we do something about this?" Aunt Holiday asked.

"Oh no, they're alright." Mane Allgood replied. "Kick his ass, honey!"

"I'm on it!" Snap Shutter replied, picking up Deadpool and dragging him to the grill, slamming the merc's head upon said in use grill. He opened the grill and pressed Wade's left side of his face in said grill, causing the merc to scream wildly. With his arms flailing, Deadpool grabbed a brick and slammed it on Snap's face, stumbling the stallion as he got up. It didn't take long for Deadpool to tackle Snap through the backyard fence and in front of somepony's front lawn with a wagon parked in front. Wade grabbed the light headed stallion and slammed his head through the door of the cart.

"Say it, Snap!" He demanded. "Say I'm a man, ya c**t!"

"Never!" Snap replied. Deadpool pulled the stallion up, elbowed his face, then slammed his head on another door.

"Say it!"

"You're... a man." Deadpool lifted his leg higher.

"Say it louder!" Snap turned to Wade.

"You're a man... c**t." Deadpool pulled him up, then proceeded to do a series of hits on his chest, that caused Snap to-

"Oh you've gotta be kidding me." He said as the place began to smell. Deadpool jumped in victory, with his X-Force watching and recording the entire thing.

"Wow! I didn't you can make ponies crap themselves with those movements!" Smolder spoke in shock. "I gotta try that with Gar-Gar!"

"Ooh! Maybe I can try it with my brother!" Silverstream added. Scootaloo entered, having a confused look.

"... What just happened?" She asked.

Deadpool, Scootaloo, Mane Allgood, and both aunts sat in the destroyed living room, though Snap was away, his pride broken and needed some time alone. The X-force were in the background, fixing up the destroyed house.

"So... you knew him?" Scootaloo asked her mom.

"That's right." Her mom answered.

"And my dad was able to beat up Deadpool, meaning this is Deadpool's first victory against him?"

"Yep." Deadpool answered. "I learned a thing or two from the underrated 2007 Comedy movie, Hot Rod."

"And this was just to prove to Gallus that his father wasn't weak?" They looked to Gallus, who was adding the final touched to fixing some destroyed china. He turned to them all, who saw them all staring at him.

"... What? I don't my dad to be weak."

"Even though he killed Tirek, he couldn't beat your father." Lofty commented, sipping on her tea. "Makes sense to me."

"I can never really understand you all." Holiday added. "But I'm at least glad you know to clean up after yourself."

"Eh, it's just a lesson for the kiddies." Deadpool spoked. "Right class!?"

"When you're finished, be sure to clean up all the evidence." The X-force spoke as one before finishing.

"Excellent! And when this is all finished, we're going on vacation! I've been personally invited to a town called Hope Hollows for something called the Rainbow Festival, and would like you all to join with me!" The X-force cheered together, cleaning up faster.

Author's Note:

Yep. Next is the Rainbow Roadtrip. But with a slight twist. ... And by slight, I mean using a calculator to ensure that 1+1 does in fact equal to 2