Appuls. Pony #5: Applejack
"Well," Twilight said "we need to find a different hiding spot for you now. I believe the ponies here will ask me questions on what's happening. You all head to Sweet Apple Acres and introduce Deadpool to Applejack."
APPLEJACK!!! She's the redneck of the group, right?
She's a western. And to go more deeper: she's more like a cowboy.
So she rides horses?
THEY ARE HORSES!!!
Wait, so does that mean... OH!!!
She DOES NOT do that!!!
You're a kill joy.
"Thank Celestia for that." Deadpool said
"What did you say?" Fluttershy asked
"Oh... nothing. Let's head to Sweet Apple Acres!!!" He jumped and landed on Rainbow Dash's back. "RIDE MY TRUSTY STEED!!!"
"EXCUSE ME!?!?!?" Rainbow Dash asked
"YEE HAW!!!" Deadpool slapped Dash's flank area and she began to run!!!
"WHAT THE-? How did you-"
"FLY!!! JUST FLY!!!" Dash grunted to herself & flapped her wings. She was also surprised at how light Deadpool was, despite that he was taller than them. Deadpool grabbed onto the pegasus' mane, as he looked down & saw the town.
It sure is beautiful, isn't it?
I hate to admit it, but yeah, it is. Is it alright if we do it?
Do what?
You know. The famous song for Titanic?
No.
Please?
No!
Pretty Please?
... Alright. But only this one time. let me clear my voice.
SWEET!!! Together now!!!
♫And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love you!!!♫
♫And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love you!!!♫
"We're above Sweet Apple acres." Fluttershy said "Dash, could you kindly land for him?"
"I'm on it." Dash replied a bit annoyed that she's being used as transportation. "Are you ready?"
"F**k this." Deadpool said to himself. He let go of Dashie's mane, put his arms to the side, leaned to the left a bit, and then let gravity do the work as he fell down to the apple farm below.
You know we can't die, right?
"I likt to imagine we can, especially after hearing you two sing that."
I told you it was a terrible idea!!!
You begged for me to join you!!!
"We're here!!!"
Out in the distance, surrounded be trees, a familiar orange pony with a yellow ponytailed mane & tail wearing a stylish cowboy hat bucked some apples. She stopped as she heard what sounded like a male screaming. She looked up and, sure enough, something was falling from the sky & landing near a hill to her front. Deadpool landed on the hill roughly, breaking some bones, and rolled down the hill. The mare stood silently, as Deadpool rolled down the hill and... sang?
"♫They see me rollin, They hatin', Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin' dirty! Tryin to catch me ridin' dirty! Tryin to catch me ridin' dirty! Tryin to catch me ridin' dirty! Tryin to catch me ridin' dirty!♫" Deadpool gently tapped the mare's hooves, looking up at the pony's green eyes.
"...Can ah help you?" The mare asked "Do you require some fancy medical attention? 'Cause ah don't have any of that fancy stuff.
"Don't worry about that. I'm actually looking for Applejack."
"Yer looking at 'er." Deadpool stared at the mare; It definitely was Applejack.
"huh... Figures." Deadpool kicked himself right back up "Name's Deadpool: Businessman of getting rid of different characters & things!" He extended his hand to her like the gentleman he is. Applejack extend her front hoof and 'grabbed' Deadpool's hand, then shook him rather violently, shaking it like the Gentle-Mare SHE was.
"Howdy! Name's Applejack!!! A'hm a buisnessmare maself as ah sell apples, zap apple jam, and mah family's special made cider across this fair town!!! Of course, if A'hm not selling anything, A'hm busy runnin' the farm with ma big brother, lill' sis, and Granny!!!" A loud 'Rip' was Heard. Deadpool and Applejack, with wide eyes, looked down: Applejack, from her violent shaking of Deadpool's hand, ripped his arm right off!!! Both stood there, looking at each other, then the arm, then back, then the arm, still with wide eyes. Deadpool began to chuckle. "What's so Funny!?!?!? Ah- Ah- Ah tore yer' arm off!!!"
"I know! Can you... Lend me a hand!!!"
*Ba Dum, Crash!!!*
Ugh... Worst... joke... EVER!!!
"There he is!!!" Rainbow Dash's voice yelled. Applejack and Deadpool looked up: The Two pegasi were above them and landed onto the floor.
"Mr. Deadpool!" Fluttershy yelled a bit with both disappointment and worry "What were you thinking!?!?!? You could've been hurt!!!"
"I laugh at pain!!!" Deadpool replied, trying to point at himself with his nub of an arm, bleeding.
"He's kinda right," Dash replied "And I see you've meet Applejack. Applejack, how's Deadpool doing? Has he done anything to you?"
"No," Applejack replied "but... ah tore his arm off."
"GIMME DAT!!!" Deadpool yelled, snatching his arm away from Applejack's hoof. The arm retaliated and slapped Deadpool across the face, causing him to drop his own body piece. It hit to the floor, got up, gave Deadpool the middle finger, then it's hand & fingers acted as the arm's 'feet' and seemed to crawl away.
"Does... that happen a lot?"
"Not like that." Fluttershy replied, a bit freaked out at what the arm did.
"He just flipped the bird!!!" Deadpool said in complete surprise.
"That poor baby bird!!!"
"We need to stop that little piece of s**t!!!"
"Wait," Applejack said in confusion " what's a little piece of-"
"What he's saying AJ," Dash interrupted, putting her hoof in the farmer's mouth, muffling her "is that we need to get that arm back!!!"
"Does this happen with you back home?" Fluttershy asked Deadpool
"Sometimes." Deadpool responded "The only time when they do listen & obey is on Taco Tuesday."
"Oh... should we get it?"
"Nah, let me see if I can catch it." Deadpool teleported away to the branches of the tree above. Without his other arm, holding on the tree & balancing was really difficult for him. He continued his teleporting to the trees, looking for his rogue arm. A.J. swiped Rainbow Dash's hoof out of her mouth.
"C'mon ya'll!!!" A.J. yelled "We gotta help Deadpool find his missing arm."
"But how?" Dash asked
"...get ma rope."
Deadpool teleported into another tree. He spotted his arm catching it's 'breath'.
There's that little Son of a b***h!!!
Wait: doesn't that make US a son of a b***h?
"Enough talking who's a b***h to who," Deadpool said to himself "we're going to make him our b***h."
You mean ourselves, right?
"... SHUT THE F**K UP!!!" The arm jumped at Deadpool's yell. "Great! See what happens when I think!!! GET OVER HERE!!!" Deadpool jumped off his tree and chased after his arm. The arm 'looked' behind itself every now & then, but ended up hitting a tree. Deadpool cornered the arm on the said tree, readying himself to pounce. "Alright arm; you're going back in my socket and we're not going to have trouble after this, got it?" The arm returned with another middle finger. "THAT'S IT!!!" Deadpool leapt towards the arm. The arm also 'leapt' into the air and slapping him across the face, causing him to be knocked off course and slamming into the floor!!! The arm began to 'run' away, but a lasso came out of nowhere, catching it by the hand area and socket area. the lasso shut itself tight on it, and the arm began to struggle it's way to get free. Deadpool looked up and saw that Applejack, while using her tail, had hogtied his arm down!!!
"YEE HAW!!!" She yelled "That was easier than taking down that stampede!!!"
"Way to go AJ!!!" Rainbow Dash yelled
"You rock!" Fluttershy cheered "woo-hoo!" Applejack steadily walked towards the struggling arm as it was tied up. In just a few inches, she stomped on the hand of the arm, making sure it wouldn't move again.
"You better gat 'yer arm back in, otherwise it'll run off again."
"uh... thanks." Deadpool said a bit surprised at how she did it. He fell down to his armless side, slamming the loose arm down into the ground. In a few moments, he got right back up: his arm was back in place!!! "ALRIGHT!!! Thank you so much!!!"
"It was nothin'. Next time, I'll charge ya, but fer now, it's free."
"Say! Want to remember this moment?"
"uh... sure, I guess." Deadpool leaned over to A.J., took out his cell phone and, using his other hand hung it above them!!!
"Say 'Business'!!!"
"Uh... Business?" Deadpool took the picture with an awkward smiling applejack.
"Hold on... WHO JUST PHOTOBOMBED MY SELFIE!?!?!?" A pair of blue eyes were only seen.
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Oh no...
5298486 Hey, it could be any pony! Fluffle Puff, Rarity, Shining Armor, ECT.
th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/191/3/5/pinkie_pie_eyes_by_discordcaosts-d56r6q7.png
i think i know who and if it is, shit's about to get crazy up in dis b17c4
Only because of Deadpool and because i watched a let´s play again, i had to thougt of his laugh and then it was a really funny joke
5298486 oh yes i guess it´s time for Pinkie Pie. This story really works, i don´t know if it would be a good idea to start to tell an actually story after you did a few meetings.
5299603 This whole Story is around Deadpool in Equestria!!! No real plot needed (unless there really needs one)
5299617 well yes and the story works better than i could have ever thought, ......i don´t know how to explain it right now, but i think till now it goes the way i want anyway.
Luna should meet Deadpool in his head, or in his dreams to meet his two other personalitys
I can only imagine this is what you do after every chapter.
img.pandawhale.com/50940-I-regret-nothing-gif-spaceman-Dlb6.gif
5299946 Sorta. It's more like this, though. (Because Deadpool's so FABULOUS)
interesting
LETS MEET RARITY!!!!!!!!!!
5308331 they'll meet... Sooner or later.
5308621
hmm he have two thought one is stupid and one is smart
arent his smart ones supposed to be calm instead?
I JUST GAVE THIS STORY 3, YES 3!, THUMBS UP AT ONCE! And now, to test it, I will be closing the page. It had 108 thumbs up. It currently has 111 thumbs up. I just hope that the effect stays. HOLY CRAP! THE EFFECT STAYED! P.S.: What I just accomplished might have been awesome for 3.2 seconds. BUT DEADPOOL ALWAYS HAS BEEN, IS CURRENTLY, AND ALWAYS WILL BE MORE AWESOME THAN ANYTHING AND ANYONE.
*narrator voice*
and sooooooooo....ehhh why am doing this....nvm....
Deadpool made his arm "his bitch".....yeeaaahhh lets keep away from that bit and
he suddenlky got photobombed by a blue eyed taco or whatever the F it was
Arms giving deadpool the bird...what's next? his legs getting ripped off at the knees and they kick him in the nuts?
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?! YOU NEVER TELL AN AUTHOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT OR ELSE THEY'LL DO IT! *Whispers to his spot* Don't worry benny and bobby...they will never hurt you...
Okay...moving on from THAT Disturbing mental image of DP whispering to his privates...
5973932 may his privates rest for now for now
Best joke ever!
MAKE IT STOP
HAHAHAHAHAHA
SO......MANY.....REFERENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY BODY IS READY FOR THE DOUBLE WALL-BREAKING!!!
Applejack