• Published 9th Nov 2014
  • 16,892 Views, 1,922 Comments

Deadpool in Equestria - MrAquino



What happens when Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth, lands in the magical land of Equestria? Same thing that happens in every cross story, but with more Deadpool!!!

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I'm in love with the- Pony #93 & 94: Coco Pomell and Suri Polomare

Deadpool turned the corner and ran into a nearby store, leaning against the door in case Brody followed him. Luckily, Brody wasn't too smart, and he continued to 'chase' Deadpool.

"Is somepony there?" a familiar voice asked. Some clopping was heard and, from right behind the corner came a earth pony mare with a Light, amberish gray coat and with a Maud looking mane that was a light cyan with a light, opalish gray line in the middle of her mane. Her

Cutie Mark strangely looked similar to a Pimp's hat, something 'A Pimp Named Slickback' would wear. Deadpool stared at her, and the pony stared at him.

Oh S**T!!! Coco... Pomell!

She's... so... ADORABLE!!!

"Can I help you?" Coco asked timidly. Deadpool opened his mouth, but out came gibberish that Mr. Krabs said to Mrs. Puff in SpongeBob Squarepants. Coco stared at him awkwardly. "Are... you alright?"

Deadpool fell to the floor, his body twitching uncontrollably! Coco screamed a bit and ran into the back!

"Oh no!" She said to herself "Where's that Defib!?" In a few seconds of panicked search, she found her Defibrillator and ran back to where Deadpool supposedly died. She stopped, seeing Deadpool not only standing, but moving as well, as he had on a sideways cap, some baggy pants that hung below his knees, a white undershirt, some gold chains around his neck, and, all around him, Chocolate! Music began to play, and Coco stood, having more questions in her mind rather than answers.

"♫I'm in love with the coco!♫" Deadpool sang, doing whatever dance was considered 'cool' these days "♫ I'm in love with the coco! I got it for the low, low! I'm in love with the coco! I'm in love with the coco! I'm in love with the coco! I got it for the low, low! I'm in love with the coco! Hit my plug, that's my c***o! Cause he got it for the low, low. If you snitchin' I go loco! Hit you with that treinta ocho! N****s thinkin' that I'm solo! Fifty deep, they like, 'oh, no!'. Heard the feds takin' photos; I know nothin', f**k the popo!!!♫" Deadpool pulled out some Baking Soda outta nowhere. "♫Bakin' soda, I got bakin' soda!!!♫"

"... Baking Soda?" Coco commented, really unsure on what he's doing.

"♫Bakin' soda, I got bakin' soda!!!♫"

"What are you trying to achieve?"

"♫Whip it through the glass, n***a! I'm blowin' money fast, n***a!!! I'm in love with the coco! I'm in love with the coco! I got it for the low, low! I'm in love with the coco! I'm in love with the coco! I'm in love with the coco! I got it for the low, low! I'm in love with the coco! Thirty six, that's a kilo! Need a brick, miss my free throw! I'm in love, just like Ne-Yo! Bustin' shots, now he Neo! Free my homies, f**k the C.O!!! F**k the judge, f**k my P.O! all this coke, like I'm Nino! Water whip, like I'm Nemo!!! Bakin' soda, I got bakin' soda!!!♫"

"What does Baking Soda have to do with chocolate!?"

"♫Bakin' soda, I got bakin' soda!!!♫"

"MAKE SENSE!!!"

"♫Whip it through the glass, n***a! I'm blowin' money fast, n***a!!! I'm in love with the coco! I'm in love with the coco! I got it for the low, low! I'm in love with the coco! I'm in love with the coco! I'm in love with the coco! I got it for the low, low! I'm in love with the coco!♫"

The two sides stopped and stared at each other.

"What was that about?"

"My love for you, Coco Pomell!!!"

"You... know me!?"

"Yes Ma'am!" He teleported to her, carrying the pony in his arms "Name's Deadpool!"

"DEADPOOL!?!?!?"

"Eeyup! BELLY RUBS!!!"

"Belly WHAT!?" Deadpool used his left arm and began to give a belly rub to Coco. Coco's expression went from pure fear to relaxation, as Deadpool himself chuckled, watching Coco's left hind leg adorably kick.

"COCO!!!" A voice yelled. Deadpool stopped and Coco had a shock of fear in her face! Out from the corner, came out a pink pony with a purple mane & tail, a cream colored thing in her mane, and she wore a sky blue handkerchief.

"Suri!!!"

"Coco!!! Why is there chocolate everywhere!? And who the hay is that!?"

"Suri Polomare!?" Deadpool yelled. He held Coco like many of us did with a puppy or kitten, having Coco's hind legs dangle in the air "You're still with this b***h!?"

"I had to get a job!" Coco replied "I never imagine that I'd work with her again."

"That's right!" Suri added "Now get back here or you're fired!!!"

"Says who!?" Deadpool yelled in anger, gently dropping Coco on the floor.

"Our boss!"

"AND WHO THE F**K IS THAT!?!?!?"

"His name is Johann Shmidt! Now, I say you get out or-"

"Is there a problem?" A male Voice asked. from around the corner, came-

"HOLY S**T!!!" Deadpool yelled "A HYDRA AGENT!!!" The agent tunred to Deadpool and backed up, hitting the wall!

"DEADPOOL!?!?!?" He yelled in fear, then turned around, grabbing Suri in his arms and ran away "Attention all Hydra agents: Deadpool is here!!! Repeat, Deadpool is here!!!" Deadpool and Coco stared at the door the Hydra agent went through (leading to a nightclub next door), then turned to each other.

"Your old boss is with Hydra?" Deadpool asked

"I don't even know what this 'Hydra' is." Coco replied.

"Hydra is a stereotypical Nazi group that got famous after Captain Puerto Rico's Winter Soldier."

"...Winter Soldier?"

"Awesome film! IGN gave it a 2 out of 10, 'Needed more Hydras.'." Deadpool walked to the door and pulled out a pistol.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm the best at what I do, and I what I do, isn't very nice." Coco's pupils shrunk. "Ah, don't worry! I'll be fine! As for them, however-" Deadpool kicked the door and became the bad*ss we know him for!

Due to the original clip taken off due to copyrights, you'll need to skip to 4:20... and no weed jokes intended!!! Also, image all enemies as Hydra Agents and Deadpool yells 'HEADSHOT!!!'.

The last Hydra soldier ran to the exit, but Deadpool teleported in front of him.

"What the-!?" The soldier yelled. Without any word, Deadpool kicked him in the balls!!! The soldier fell, wheezing hard. Deadpool pulled out another gun and placed it on his head.

"Unless you want brans splattered everywhere," Deadpool spoke "Start talking! What is Hydra doing here!?"

"...We're... gaining intel."

"Intel, eh? What for!?"

"Red Skull... sent us... for the... Masters of Evil!"

"Master of Evil!? Those d*****bags that work together only for power!?"

"...yes?"

"S**t just got real. Where's your friend taking Suri!?"

"To... her house!"

"And where is that?"

"I'll never tell!!!"

"...We'll see!!!" He knocked out the agent with a hard b***h slap! Some static was heard, and Deadpool noticed a radio on the guy. Deadpool picked it up and listened

"Are you there?" The hydra on the other side asked

"...Yarp!" Deadpool replied

"Is Deadpool taken care of?"

"Yarp!"

"And he's not getting up, right?"

"... Narp?"

"...Good. Proceed to the old castle."

"... oh s**t!"

Deadpool made it to the old castle of the royal sisters that night. Already, guards were everywhere, keeping a keen eye out for a trouble. And, if by Keen, as if having guys walk like clockwork toys, then yeah... keen fits in their description.

"LIBERATION: RAMBO STYLE!!!" Deadpool yelled.

All the guards were dead. Deadpool entered the abandoned castle, where Suri cowered in fear.

"Deadpool!" She screamed, backing into a wall. "Listen! I had no idea they-"

"SHADDUP!!!" Deadpool yelled, pulling a pistol out. "I'm here for some unfinished business." Suris' pupils shrunk, seeing a weapon he used to kill the other humans.

"Please! You don't want to-" A Hydra soldier grabbed her.

"HAIL HYDRA!!!" He yelled, holding a grenade to do a suicide

"HAIL BULLET!!!" Deadpool yelled, firing a single round into the soldier's hand! The Hydra member dropped Suri and fell to the floor, screaming in pain. Suri only watched in horror on what Deadpool did to the lone Hydra soldier with the grenade.

"And now," Deadpool spoke "Your turn." Suri backed away, cowering in fear. The doors opened and Coco ran in.

"WAIT!!!" Coco yelled, running inside. She stopped at Deadpool's feet, taking deep breaths. "I know Suri isn't the best pony, but please, she's not evil!!!"

"...Explain." Deadpool spoke.

"Watch." Coco took off the weird head band thing Suri wore. Though it looked normal, inside were many wires.

"BRAINWASHING!?!?!?"

"Where am I!?" Suri asked, looking everywhere in fear. "W-what happened here!?"

"How do you know this?" Deadpool asked Coco

"Because I helped her." Out from the door, Luna came in.

"MOONCHEEKS!!!"

"Stop calling me that!!! Coco went to me to help find out what's wrong with Suri and why this... Hydra group is here. We investigated her home and found a lone Hydra soldier inside. I interrogated him and he told us everything. Now please, leave Suri alone." Deadpool turned to the frightened pony.

"You're Lucky it was Hydra! If it weren't, you'd be dead!"

"Please," Suri begged "I don't want any trouble! I've already dealt with Rarity, I don't need to die!"

"And you'll live. For now, however, Selfie!!!"

"Selfie!?" the two ponies asked. Deadpool slid to the two and took a Selfie with two confused looking ponies.

"By the way, Coco... I love you!" Coco blushed.

"You... love me?" She asked

"Oh yes. Care to go home with me?"

"... Is it alright, Luna?"

"It is." Luna replied

"Then yes! I do, Deadpool! Thank you for listening!"

"No problem." He replied. Coco ran and hugged. Deadpool returned the hug, but looked back at Suri and gave her the finger!

"Can I go home now?" Suri asked.

Author's Note:

THE THIRD WAIFU IS DONE!!!
And yes:
At least 25 Hydra members were harmed in the making of this chapter.
Who should Deadpool meet next?

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