• Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

GaPJaxie



T
Source

Ponies these days are nuzzling younger than ever. Talk to your foals about the dangers of unprotected tummy rubs.

A Los Pegasus charity commission for Pav Feira. He... he gave me the prompt. I had no choice. Forgive me.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 441 )

Nah but seriously. Jaxie is the classiest of class acts. Major props to him taking my fiendish prompt in stride, and for overall being a damn great friend.

‘Well, when two mares really love each other, and one of them owns a riding crop—”

F*cking... hilarious... really great story.

Good lord, this story was hilarious! Everypony was fully in character, and it actually felt like it could be an episode.

The only symptom not flat out explained was the back pain, which I'm guessing is from wing strain?

Just one minor point of detail, though. Equines are incapable of vomiting. Their throats don't work in reverse that way like humans do. Learned that on "The Incredible Dr. Pol". It's why horses will frequently roll on the ground, because their stomach is bothering them.

I've said it before in different words, but it bears repeating: you write the best Rainbow Dash ever. I just hope she doesn't turn out too horrible in Vision. :fluttershysad:

For a terrifying moment, I thought you were going to go on with Twilight still insisting that mares can get mares preggers.

Thank you for not doing that.

I shall violently read this to such a point that the text shall bleed.

2402532
You maniac! You blew it up! Damn you, damn you all to hellllll! :flutterrage:

Fav and +1

Wonderful story! This is by far the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I'm still chuckling.
Slight error though:

You’re a herbivore

The 'a' needs to be 'an.' The 'n' is added whenever the next word starts with the sound of a vowel, not just when it starts with a vowel.

2406369

Also, fixed.

That’s what the bats are for. My dad explained it to me

Y'know, I mostly just chuckled a bit, and found the whole 'Twilight doesn't understand the need for a penis' gag was overextended and not that funny, but when I came here I exploded in laughter and now my cats have barracaded themselves under the couch in terror. Very funny piece, have an upvote.:pinkiehappy:

You should really indent your paragraphs. It's distracting to see them like that.

2406280

Not sure if compliment. :trixieshiftright:

2406410 Distracting? Indenting paragraphs makes sense only when you have to print them back to back. With a line break in between, there's no need for indentation. Although, they are too way long, they all look like giant walls of text without any form to hang onto. Paragraphs need to be at least half the size.

Damn it, yet another story that assumes that characters can only become romantically involved with other major characters, and in this case meaning homosexuality is involved. This is often not the case in real life, people! It's more likely Twilight and the others of the Mane Six will get married to some yet-to-be-revealed stallions! Why... oh, God Almighty, why...?:fluttercry:

Poor, peverted Pinkie...:pinkiecrazy:

2406502

Because I hate you! :moustache:

Okay that was funny, I'll admit even though the base premise of Twilight's ignorance is more than a bit silly and OOC. Rainbow and Pinkie were probably the funniest sections.

I really wanted her to be trolling them as her first act of princess trolling. But it was amusing as it was.

At first I was like

But by the end I was like

Pretty much my reaction to reading this fic.

2406514 I just joined this website and I've already had a couple of unpleasant conversations on the topic of homosexuality:I don't have anything against homosexual people, but I will not keep silent about their lifestyle choices! I won't be harassed by anyone because of this, because if you don't like what I have to say about this, your argument is with GOD, THE ROCK UPON WHICH I STAND, I am only speaking His word.

2406585

John 8:7, Matthew 7:1

As a Christian man, you shouldn't go around starting battles.

2406502
Blame Pav. He bought the prompt :trollestia:

Romans 1:26 & 27

That last bit was hilarious...

2406636 I'm sorry, I didn't understand that; could you explain what you said?

2402532 I totally agree with Twilight in that video :twilightsmile:

2406729
Pav Feira commissioned GaPJaxie to write this story. All of the money went to charity.

Also, stop cluttering the comment box, nobody cares about you nor that your religious feelings have been hurt.

2406585

That's crazy! I'm totally one of the faithful. I'm out preaching every day.

24.media.tumblr.com/f435db743458f7fecdc4e1f0c444830d/tumblr_mijtdm128B1s6upxno1_500.jpg

2406630 one could argue that I started it, but either way that verse out of John was taken completely out of context; I'm not saying I'm without sin, but if we do not recognize something as sinful, how can we repent of it?

By the way, my comments aren't saying that they are a reply to someone else's comment; if someone could show me how to do that, I'd appreciate it.

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2406766
Immaculate conception for all!

looks like AJ's not the only one who wanted rope...

2406766
Haven't even read this story, linked to me by a friend from a different forum. Glanced down into the comments and saw this. I already know that you are going to be one of my favorite writers and a hero in my book!

2406766 That may be so, but then why are you making these characters lesbian? You have to live according to what you preach. Besides, why are you making characters lesbian when we have no reason to assume they are? It's a show made mainly for girls, of course most most of the characters are going to be girls! Most of the Power Rangers are guys!

2406755 Nobody cares when somebody like you goes and accuses somebody else of being a whiner that nobody cares about.

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2406766
Okay, now I know this guy is a troll, he took your joke seriously, Jax.

2406824

I'm not saying this fandom is crazy.

But this may not be the crowd for preaching about blasphemy.

Celestia demands virgins!

2406842

What joke? Ponyism is most serious:duck:

Joke? okay then, if you're saying that I haven't actually been in an argument this whole time, then I apologize if I lost my temper, but I just had to get that off my chest. If I am still in an actual argument, then I think I've made my point; if so, I'm going to have to log off before I start becoming irrational

2406836

Besides its pretty unnecessary to complain that something goes agains some kind of religion on a site where everyone has different belivies

2406864 Huh? I get the sense I'm being trolled for being one of the only serious guys on the Internet. Either, way, I guess I've made my point, I'm going to go watch MLP to let off some steam.

2406880

Different people have different religious beliefs. For instance, you are a Christian who believes homosexuality is wrong. However, there are also Christians who do not think homosexuality is wrong. There are also people on this site who simply are not Christian at all, so expecting them to be offended because of your beliefs is unreasonable. For instance, I believe that our winged pony goddess doesn't really care about sexual orientation, but you don't hear me mocking your so-called saviors lack of feathers and a horn, do you?

2406910

But can you be sure that he lacks feathers and horn..hmmmm:rainbowderp:

2406910 OHH, now you're trying to piss me off, aren't you? when did I say anything about other people being offended? Don't lecture me about other people having different beliefs, because I've been there, and if you expect me to take your arguments seriously, you should be a little more respectful! I'm sorry to anyone else who sees this who doesn't feel like being a dick today. Don't send me any more replies, because I'm logging off.

2403176 They're also incapable of speech, abstract thought, tool use or in fact nearly everything we see Equestrian ponies doing on the show. I think we can safely assume that they're only distant relatives of Equus ferus caballus.

So......That happened.

2406938
> comes into someone else's story
> starts something
> gets hurt because he started something he couldn't handle
> runs crying

And that, my little ponies, is why his kind is doomed to the dustbin of history.

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