• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Bradel


Ceci n'est pas un cheval.

T
Source

Twilight Sparkle wakes up to an unexpected thought, and now she just wants it to go away. The idea is embarrassing enough: an erotic liaison between herself and Princess Luna. But Twilight's problem runs deeper. She can't ignore this idea, however much she tries. She decides to write it out as a story, to clear the thing from her mind. Now she needs to finish her story quickly – because if she falls asleep before it's done, the Princess of Dreams will get to see that idea for herself.
— Featured on Equestria Daily and Equestria After Dark

Chapters (2)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 146 )

Author's Notes

I'm really not a fan of the author's notes box that shows up at the end of the story, so I'm going to steal an already-stolen idea (cf. GhostOfHeraclitus and Bad Horse) and use the first comment to provide some thanks and acknowlegements.

First of all, credit where credit is due. This idea was sparked by a combination of three things: a blog post by bookplayer, Vimbert the Unimpressive's story "Get Thyselves a Room", and Sunchaser's seriously under-read "The View from the Window". If you don't like this, blame me. If you do, go check out Vimbert and Sunchaser's stories.

GhostOfHeraclitus and PoweredByTea were both kind enough to pre-read the old version of this story for me, wonderful people that they are. Any problems with the new version (including over-cloppiness) should be laid at my feet, because I decided I'd rather not tar them with that sort of reputation.

Lastly, the cover image is my own compositing, but it involves resources from the DeviantArt MLP-VectorClub group: specifically the moon and the backdrop (Twilight and Luna are episode screencaps). The horizontal rule line used in the text is a compositing of VectorClub resources for Twilight's and Luna's cutie marks. For any of you who are having difficulty finding cover images for your stories, MLP-VectorClub is a great resource. It's possible to create some pretty great stuff with nothing but their resources and some minimal skill in Photoshop or a similar program.


And if you're wondering where those 20 comments went, they're on my hard drive. But the original version of this story has been deleted in favor of the (I feel) better, revised version, and now they're... well... Ghost comments!

Y'know, when i said something about expanding it, this wasn't what i had in mind, but i don't care now; That was great! I still wouldn't mind an expansion on the next morning though, just to see how that plays out.

Yes. This is exactly what I wanted to see out of the original piece. Moving to favorites!

Im...confused :twilightoops:
So....how did Twilight end up in Luna's bed while she was asleep? Isn't Luna's bed in the real world? And wouldn't Luna be awake at night? o.0

So Twilight went straight to the dream world and suddenly locked lips with the real princess. :facehoof: Smooth.

I laughed.

Mission accomplished, I dare say.

It was short, sweet and elegant with a rewarding conclusion.

I'm unabashedly taking bookplayer's advice and trying to respond to comments people have left on my stuff this morning.

2295463 2299592 Very happy to hear you guys liked it! I'm much, much happier with this version myself, and I'm glad you prodded me to try to make it better. I like my other two published pieces (and they're both on EqD, so that must say something), but after the revision, part of me feels like this is the best thing I've put together in a while, cloppy or not. It's compact and it does what it's supposed to, but the climax really feels like a climax now, instead of a headlong crash into a brick wall.

2328159 I... probably read too much Robert Jordan. My universal headcanon now includes the notion that people (or ponies) can go around manipulating dreams and sharing dreamstates, and that there's a fundamental substrate of dreams based on the waking world. It probably wouldn't come up here, except that we've already seen Luna prowling around in Scootaloo's dreams. So for me, the idea that as a highly magical [unicorn/alicorn] Twilight could fall asleep and suck Luna into her own dream seems very, very natural.

I don't think I had any idea how much I'm taking Wheel of Time headcanon and applying it to other things until right now.

2328374 That's pretty much exactly what I was shooting for. Very happy that you enjoyed it!

2335807 Thanks!

2339177

....Are you talking about ponies OTHER than Luna being capable of entering dreams?!

2339597
... I assume every pony enters their own dreams, so yes.

ETA: Let me clear that up a bit. I'm saying I don't think it's unreasonable (though certainly nothing like canonical and nothing I'd want to put in a more serious story) that Twilight, as a very magical [unicorn/alicorn], could bring Luna into her own dreams when Luna's wandering around in ponies' dreams. Or it could just be that Luna waits around to see what Twilight is going to dream about, because she's weird that way.

2339741

I personally believe that Twilight's status as an alicorn doesn't mean crap toward the subject, and dream manipulation is entirely Luna's domain. Princess of the night, after all.

For instance I wouldn't expect to see Celestia dream-hopping.

2340156

I'm not saying anyone can dream-hop except Luna. I don't think that makes much sense. But I'm saying if Luna's already wandering around in dreams, I don't consider it completely unreasonable that Celestia or Twilight could draw Luna into their own dreams.

But again, I'm aware this may constitute funky headcanon with outside influences, and I don't think it's necessary for the story. I'm equally happy with the explanation that Luna just likes snooping on Twilight's dreams and was lying in wait for her to fall asleep. Especially if Luna was aware that no Twilight dreams had hit her radar in over 40 hours.

Hahahahahah. So Luna figured it out and set a sexy trap! lol.



Twiluna makes a lot more sense to me than Twilestia.
(certainly wouldn't hold a Twiluna fic higher in regard than a Twilestia fic purely on that basis, but just saying, it makes more sense to me )

That was good. Saw the ending coming (giggity), but it was still fun. You're a lot better with details than I am, I find I do a lot of dialogue and not all that much else. I particularly liked the apple juice pooling on the floor. Such a seemingly insignificant detail, but describing it really brought the scene to life.

2368068 Thanks! Though, to be honest, the original version of this story was kind of mediocre I think. A few readers (notably ultra1437 and Skywriter, downcomment) got on my case to expand the thing, so all but the last scene is new. I'm very happy with the revised product.

And to anyone else reading these comments, if you enjoy this story there's a good chance you'll also enjoy Late_To_The_Party's Princess Luna Visits a Wet Dream. Which, despite the title, is even less cloppy than this (and I keep telling myself, anyway, that this isn't very cloppy).

Oh man, this one hits close to home for reasons that are extremely difficult to explain.

Unrelatedly, I have not been following you. This was a mistake, which I am now fixing. :twilightsmile:

2295420
Oh, izzat so?

Well, you didn't do half-bad. I prefer my comedy more outrageously over-the-top, myself, but you did the idea justice.

A very good story. I thought she was going to finish it for a minute, but I'm glad she didn't. A very comedic ending and I loved it.

2393032 I'd been wondering if it had ever happened before (and I noticed that yes, it had, when I threw Distorted Perspective in my reading list after your last blog).

I'll admit, somewhat sheepishly, that I waited until after I'd heard back on EqD to put in the tag that it made it on EqAD, just in case that might prejudice the decision. I suspect there's very little overlap between those two, aside from the two stories mentioned.

SPOILER WARNING

It's an okay concept. It just has one major problem: the entire story starts with her dreaming of a close relationship with Luna. Why wasn't she worried about Luna seeing *that*?! And if Luna didn't see or care about that, what makes her think Luna will see the other dream? It's very inconsistent, and if you don't lampshade hang the initial dream, it kind of makes all of Twilight's other actions and thought processes not make any sense. It's a shame, because I could easily have looked past all the other little problems.

The other question is, why did she end up with Luna in the end? Why then, and not when she was dreaming of Luna before? Again, nice concept, but with no explanation or lampshade hanging, it comes out of nowhere, and just leaves us hanging with a :derpyderp1: expression on our face.

That's really all this story needs. Lampshade Hanging. I just don't want Twilight coming across as completely oblivious to her initial dream. It doesn't even need a long or involved explanation. Just something.

2393218 I understand the point you're making, but I tried to be very specific in how I described the first dream as unromantic. The romantic side of it is supposed to be introduced entirely in Twilight's thought after that dream concludes, and thus the later chorus in the story about "the Idea".

Obviously this is just authorial vision (inb4 "death of the author", etc). The fact that the idea apparently didn't get communicated well enough is down to my storytelling, and I'll need to try to keep an eye on that moving forward (so thank you very much for the input). But this was an issue I tried to address inside the story, even if I may not have communicated it as clearly as I should have.

You like princesses, don't you Twilight? :twilightblush:

Thoroughly enjoyed your story here. It's always funny to watch an awkward Twilight try to tackle these most embarrassing of issues.

Well done, Bradel. You deserve a cookie.

"Bags!? Under my eyes!?"
It's more likely than you think.

2393081
A few members of the staff overlap (not me), but I think those two are the only stories that do.

2393081
Wow! I was going to say, that's a hell of a two-fer, and I see now you're in good company (2393032).

Now to get this story in the Pony Fiction Vault. For a single author to be in all three is already formidable, but for a single story to do that? They'd have to create a new god tier (up above My Harshwhinnial) just for you.

Oh my gosh, if I was more of a cynic I'd say this was the writing of a shipfic from an author who doesn't want to write a shipfic. But I know that if you wanted to write a shipfic, you would have just done that...
Anyway.
I swear, had that Comedy tag not been there, I almost would have thought this was serious. Almost. Seriously, take that out (and change that rather misleading intro) and the ENTIRE feel for the story changes based on your preconceptions from the tags. The power of words, as it were.
In any case, this was a pretty funny read, I have to admit.
I'd say I want to see more stuff like this, which you've pointed out where you drew inspiration from in case I want to, but, heh, this was a wild enough ride.

2393040 Yeah... I couldn't bring myself to tease the shame of Luna's discovery and then not have her discover anything. That would just be too mean to the reader. And much, much to nice to Twilight in a story that's all about her being... frustrated.

2393466 Awkward Twilight is Best Twilight.

Hrm. Well, actually, I like take-charge heroic Twilight too. But there's a special place in my heart for romantic bumbling and ineptitude. And for cookies.
:twilightsmile:

2394226 Part of me is kind of wary about the Pony Fiction Vault. It seems like authors only tend to get one story in there, and as much as I like this story, I feel like if I had to pick something of my own to put there, I'd probably wait for some of the stuff I'm thinking about and/or working on. That said, though, tagging all three with one story would be kind of impressive. And I suspect I'm never going to have another story to make the first double. I didn't expect to have even one.

2394234 Yeah, I suppose there's not really a whole lot of comedy here outside of the joy of seeing Twilight be perpetually frustrated – but that was enough for me. The story really got its impetus from (a) the stuff mentioned in the author's note and (b) an experience I had back a couple years ago when a story idea basically infected my brain and refused to leave me alone until I could get it written into a story. Took about eight hours of dedicated writing, if I remember right, and I felt exhausted at the end of it, but at least I expunged the idea.

You're right that, clearly, this wasn't intended as a serious shipping story so much as a momentary descent into crack pairing, but the idea could certainly be worked around in the other direction. That'd probably make for quite an interesting story, I think. I'm not going to do it, but it would be fun to read if I stumbled across someone else doing it. I do like shipping stories, but that's not presently my writing focus. I tend to have a bit more of a laissez faire shipping attitude anyway – I don't really subscribe to ships, I just like to see how characters might develop given the right set of circumstances. (If and when I get around to writing more serious shipping, I'm probably going to have to spend some time figuring out if that attitude will work for writing, or if it will just drain all the life out of romantic stories...)

Is it wrong I got so much pleasure and giggling out of reading this? It's so good. I'm glad it was mentioned on EQD. I can rest knowing that I have read this story. (Or go about my day as it's 10AM.)

2394468

I didn't know that Equestria Daily and Equestria After Dark ever had overlap in their recommendations. I can't say I disagree with either. This isn't porn, but it's thematically fitting for EqAD. At the same time, it's not like the concept of having a libido should be verboten.

2393280

It's true, it was unromantic, so I'll forgive the initial problem I had.

I guess that just leaves one issue: the direct contradiction of the opening with the ending.

In the opening, it is never stated, indicated, or inferred that she is having tea with the real Princess Luna. In the end, she clearly *was* in the presence of the real Princess Luna. What changed? Is there a rule that says "If it's a romantic dream, then summon the real princess?"

2394915 Not really sure where to go with this. Personal interpretation of canon?

What I take away from "Sleepless in Ponyville" (S3E06) is that Luna is capable of inserting herself in other ponies' dreams, and so I'm thinking of this as her getting caught up in Twilight's dream. I don't see her as omnipresent in every pony's dreams, though – just visiting ponies as she chooses. At this point, though, I think the conversation is likely to move nearly verbatim toward what I discussed with 2328159 a little further down in the comments, on how precisely Luna winds up in Twilight's dream at the end. (I'm content leaving it open-ended with what I consider two possible explanations: Twilight being powerfully magical, and Luna lying in wait for Twilight because she likes snooping on her friend's dreams)

I'm unabashedly a fan of Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time, however, so I suspect that colors some of how I deal with the magical mechanics of dreams without me even consciously thinking about it.

2394963 2394915

The line in Twilight's writing where she writes the following implied to me that the whole thing was Luna frolicking in Twilight's imagination even before she fell asleep:

“You’re losing the thread of the story, aren’t you?” Luna frowned down at me. “You know what that means.”

It doesn't read like a plausible line of writing. It reads more like Luna teasing Twilight as she's falling asleep. Hence, Luna is instantly pulled into Twilight's dream because she's already there before Twilight falls asleep.

Comment posted by Bradel deleted Apr 8th, 2013

2394988 I... like this interpretation a lot, and kind of wish maybe I'd written with it in mind. And yes, death of the author and all, but there's something else going on in that line which was intended to suggest otherwise.

“You’re losing the thread of the story, aren’t you?” Luna frowned down at me. “You know what that means.”

This is the one and only time in the story 'Luna' refers to Twilight as 'you' and not 'thou'. To me, the implication of that aligns more closely with Twilight, in her exhaustion, losing the ability to conceive of Luna as a separate being and unconsciously coming to directly inhabit the role of 'Luna' in her imagination. This is somewhat drawn from personal experience – when I get very tired while writing, I start to churn out some real stream-of-consciousness prose that can make very, very little sense.

Not to ruin your wonderful headcanon on this story, but... well... I thought maybe I should weigh in as well.


Previous comment deleted because it was a response to the wrong comment...

Wonder Author, style of Sleep Deprived Stream of Consciousness Writing, go!

2395023

Curse you for having a reasonable explanation to dispel my speculations!
:twilightangry2:

This is all kiboshed by your explanation, but I kind of like to imagine that Spike sent a letter to the Princess off-screen. In that letter, he complained that Twilight is losing sleep obsessing over something, leading directly to Luna checking up on Twilight. Finding her sleepy, Luna pulls her the rest of the way into dreams to find out what's going on, and is surprised (but not displeased) when Twilight's dream jumps immediately to her own bed.

2395049 Ooh, now that I like very much. That's a fantastic explanation. Part of me wishes I could go put that in the story explicitly, but it really wouldn't fit to add anywhere.

...2295463 keeps asking for an epilogue to all this, though...

2395067

Epilogues are fun, I like epilogues!

2395080 Hey! Wait a second! You're not a new visitor to my stories!

You renamed yourself! :rainbowderp: I totally didn't see that coming.

Also, hello and welcome to any of my new Czech visitors!

Wow, I don't usually go for Twi-Luna but this was a really cute story! Twilight was so beautifully in character too.

*salutes*

Author's Note – Redux

Well, 2295463, you asked for an expansion. You can thank 2395049 for the idea. Here's hoping the coda lives up to the rest of the story. I know I enjoyed it.

I both praise Twilight for this and feel sorry for her at the same time.:twilightoops: Well, at least she will have lots of love, right? Here, have a :moustache:.

Ah! There! An answer!

Spike sent a letter asking Luna to look after Twilight. That's the difference.

Okay, that clears that up. :scootangel:

Wait wait...

What would you do, if she showed up and started kissing you and begging you to, well, y'know.
Celestia's own knees wobbled as she felt a slow, familiar warmth wash through her.
"Oh no," she muttered. "This is not good."

Does this mean... sequel?! Yes please :pinkiehappy:

2395067 2396240
Wow, two responses to the same post i made several weeks ago in one day? Nice.

On to the chapter itself, its absolutely perfect, Bradel. I've sat here for several minutes trying to figure out what to add to that previous sentence, and nothing i add feels or looks right.

gonna be honest. Not really a fan of the sudden Twilestia angle at the end there.

2396430 No, no plan for a sequel. Obviously there's an open door for one, but I personally think after those 5000 words (and my desperate attempt to avoid actually writing clop), that you're all better off fantasizing up your own sequels than looking for me to write one.

I provide the horrible Twilunestia setup. You can consummate it yourselves. :raritywink:

2396505 Thank you! I still feel more than a little nervous about tossing a coda on a story I'd decided was already complete right now, so feedback is appreciated.

ETA: Annnd 2396533 is exactly the sort of reason I was worried about it... :unsuresweetie:

2396538

aw, don't take it to heart too much. Twilestia just isn't really my thing.

That was great. And... If anyone writes a sequel to this, let me know.

WOOO~

Cute story. Loved the epilogue the best, especially Luna's dialogue. She listed all the reasons needed for a TwiLuna ship to exist.

The Twilestia was fun, but predictable. Eh, you could've just prodded Luna more at the end, but that's my opinion.

Regardless, great job!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!