Fluttershy is a private mare. She keeps to herself when she can afford to, much preferring the company of animals to ponies. She doesn't like to really say why that is. She doesn't know how to tell anypony what happened. She doesn't know how to explain it or even where to start.
She just wonders if anypony else has heard the singing too.
A fic I wrote in a burst of inspiration while listening to In Birdsong by Everything Everything. Prereading done by the tremendously talented Red Parade. Cover art by SymbianL.
Chapters (1)
Was that Angel?
11195074
it was!
Genuine chills from the last part. The album and Birdsong itself hits such a special, mystic vibe and you just nailed it so perfectly here. I love how eerie and unsettling this is, and it gets a gasp out of me as the story progresses. The hints to what's happening and the execution of it all... this was so good. Great work!!!
Somehow our favorite butterflybutt managed to encounter something eldritch. I'd suggest she stay away from anything that smells of the sea and rotten fish, and has tentacles.
Something is out there killing and vivisecting animals for sport. That's what unsettles me. That, and we don't know just what on earth the birdsong is.
The focus on the senses of hearing and smell is interesting, but It seems to me like they are ways to build suspense, rather than conveying some idea. Maybe this story is about willpower, or something like that, instead of a mysterious forest dwelling predator? These kind of short stories are usually about something other than the literal events.. I would probably have to listen to the album to understand what this means, instead of rambling in the comments
[quoteThere wasn't a single flighty friend to be found]this made me smile
11195383 Alondro hides a bloody scalpel behind his back, "Errrr, well I for one blame... PINKIE PIE!! Yeah! She's probably making cupcakes again and ran out of ponies!"
I checked out the song, because I was genuinely curious to hear the music which evoked the inspiration to write such an interesting, albeit abstract, story. I didn't particularly care for the song, but that's just me. I did, however, like the story, and I like how you kept things vague. Sometimes it's better to leave it to the reader to answer their own questions. Some of the greatest writers in history have advertently left their works replete with vagueries meant to stimulate reader speculation. It's an interesting technique, and you managed to pull it off without allowing your writing to fall into the trap of being overly contrived. Bravo
I can't tell what this makes me question more.
Did Fluttershy tap into some part of their world, which is undeniably filled with magic, that was forbidden?
Does this imply Alicorns of all kinds have some sort of otherwordly connection to everything around them? To the magic? To the world itself? To whatever sustains the magic in their world?
Or was this merely some freak accident, that she heard things you don't normally hear because her brain was fried from both, emotion and magic? It seems to be pretty heavily implied that emotion influences magic, in the later seasons of the show.
Am I thinking too much about a short story I've read after merely three hours of sleep?
It vaguely gives me Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood vibes in that Fluttershy managed to, ever so briefly, reach across from her normal world into something far deeper that granted her something no one else had. And her senses, and the accompanying birdsong was her brain's best way of making the experience "rational".
I like it.
11195599
Except Equivalent Exchange wasn't as much of a seething heartless bitch to Fluttershy as it was to Ed and his brother... Now, you have me wondering if there was a homunculus spawned from this event.
11195383
Sport? Every alicorn needs a mentor and Fluttershy needs a little push now and again.
This felt like something straight out of Steven King or H.P Lovecraft. The vagueness of whether or not the event was a dream is the true horror. And the ending of her telling Celestia that the rabbit is still around, makes us believe that it was real. But if it was real, then why did the horn disappear? And were did the birdsong come from?
Fluttershy tapped into something eldritch, the description of how the rabbit's organs were placed and organized, showed that something wanted this. Something unseen by mortal eyes, something incomprehensible by the mortal mind, it wanted Fluttershy to understand and show her a glimpse of immortality. It's not just watching her, it's watching us, it's guiding us, and it wants us to listen and obey.
11195103
"Ah always knew there was somethin' wrong about that there rabbit."
This is uniquely creative! Bone-chilling, yet too intriguing to stop! Hope ya didn't mind, but I couldn't resist making a reading of this mysterious lil' fic of yours! Twas too good to pass up!
Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/kCWleOOI2no
Your writing style is just as well suited for horror as it is sapphic poetry. Gripping read. Thanks for sharing!
11195603
In its defense, it's very hard to be a seething heartless bitch to Fluttershy.
This was fantastic
Oh. I loved this. Thank you!
This was wonderfully evocative. The focus on senses of smell and hearing did a ton to sell the horror, and then the feelings of Fluttershy's horn breaking through. All this worked to sell the ambiguity of whether this really happened or if it was a dream.
I know everyone else is commenting about the horror aspect, and I'm sorry, but me being the weirdo that I am. My mind went elsewhere due to the fact this fic is called birdsong.
So, basically it's got this bird motif going on and then Fluttershy flat out asks:
has a pony ever brought another living thing back from the dead?
And my mind immediately thought:
Well not pony dear Fluttershy but you see... Ponies once believed that one somepony dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead.
But some times, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it, and the soul can't rest.
Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong thing's right.
The title of the chapter has me thinking of another song too. ^^;
Delightfully gory and eerie, with plenty of horror to engage all the senses!
Lovecraft and King would be proud...
a little too creepy for my tastes, but that's just me. I will applaud the author for writing such a visceral experience nevertheless, the line between what is and what is not is incredibly thin here. Is this an actual event? Is this a dream? Is Fluttershy connecting with beings outside of reality? Is she really writing a letter?
Oh my gosh, the descriptions in this make the experience ever the more visceral. And the implications of it are very creepy as well. This was a very welcoming read and I glad it got featured.
Great job!
Thank you for writing this!
oh my god c.c what the hell
The images this put in my head were pretty rad to watch.
10/10
Flawless stuff right here.
Meh, I get it but wasn't shocked or awed. It was a good 4 minute read through though.
Featured in October for Tag-A-Long's Book Club
You can has review!