• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
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Seer


T

Ever since her ascension, Twilight has been having the same nightmares.

About a pale mare who shines brighter than anything she's ever seen.


This is an entry to the barcast's Halloween in April Contest. Thank you very much to wishcometrue and Flashgen for their help with editing and pre-reading. Any errors are because of last minute changes I made without consulting them.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 23 )

Hello! Thank you for the entry, I look forward to reading it.

Finally, some proper uses of mythology here.

The twist hit like me like a truck, I love it.

Great story! The creepy imagery and growing dread was well written and I liked the integration of Biblical mythology.

Excellent read. The dreamlike quality to your writing really brought this one to life.

10197756 I'm dumb and don't get it. Can you please explain.

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Twilight has dreams of Celestia as a seraphim, and Celestia tells her she isn't, and she really isn't.

But the Celestia of those dreams is revealed to be twisted to reflect a child's vision of a traumatic scene.

Here's what happened:

Twilight poked her head around the doorway, and inside she saw a huddle of terrified ponies. At their front was the stallion who had tried to hurt her. He was pleading to Celestia. She shone so hard it was like the morning sun. And when she spoke, her voice was like the dying of a star. Tectonic and massive and deafening, the terror of oblivion, the knowledge of death.

Mutible ponies, grouped up with Celestia.
They're all in deep shit.

Some far off part of Twilight, dancing along the edges of consciousness and memory took a stab at translating. But at this point, she knew what was being said. In those words spoken by a being beyond comprehension, Twilight knew it was talking about ‘weakness’ and ‘impurity’.

The words said by dream Celestia reflect what little Twilight gathered from this conversation.

Because then Celestia was on fire, and so were all those scared ponies. They screamed as they were unmade in the heart of the sun, and the whole time Celestia smiled.

She goes supernova, cooking the ponies shes with.

And Twilight cared surprisingly little for all the countless wings and countless eyes and countless heads that screamed and laughed and moaned in the violence. Along with her victims, these were quickly swallowed by the shining, brighter than anything Twilight had seen.

It comes together. The seraphim Celestia she sees in her dreams is a distortion of Celestisa ablaze, surrounded by the other ponies on fire, seeming to be joined as their many wings and heads are the only thing identifiable from the blinding light of Celestia and the flames.

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That's a really fascinating perspective on the story! Now, I very much believe in death of the author so the following is simply my personal take on the piece, but for your interest:
She really was an angel, she convinced twilight otherwise, and the event in her dream did happen, but it turns out the fear came from seeing them later, after the assassination attempt. The multiple wings and eyes and faces are literally what Celestia genuinely looks like

10224229 That's what I was thinking

Comment posted by FarmFreshAppleTarts deleted May 8th, 2020

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I didn't realize you are the author. I guess the ending was phrased like that for a reason.

The opening of the story imparts a feeling of knowing, but mystery all at the same time. Like distant familiarity, and I love that. The way that Twilight looks at the figure initially reminds me of the biblical description of angels. Beings beyond our understanding, that looking into directly is like gazing into a formless, yet winged, sun. However, looking into this sunlike visage is akin to being planted on the surface of the sun. To look into an angel is to incinerate yourself in holy fire beyond your understanding, and the way you described this winged being was nothing short of that and then some.

“I was just Celestia back then,” she said, her tinkling laugh hitting Twilight differently to how it used to. It used to be lighter than air, the rare vision of the mare behind the godhood. But this time, it seemed like the last defense of that godhood, laced with an urging for its victim to believe.

This hit me HARD when I read it, because it's such a perfect and succinct way to describe this. Twilight idolized Celestia throughout her whole life, but now in her maturing into a high position, and soon the highest, she sees through her.

Only when she got the strength to look up did she see that in the centre of the blinding glare was a pale mare, ensconced in ten sets of wings. More mouths than she could count were all screaming, violent poetry in the language of stars. It shredded Twilight’s eardrums, it blinded her. Her body was kindling.

There are no words. This is perfect.

“It’s not as simple as that,” Twilight sighed, “It’s just… all the old texts I could find, the truly old ones… Calling them perfect beings of light isn’t incorrect. They were certainly described as being perfect. But it was a bad perfect, like so perfect that you’d just do anything they told you, you wouldn’t be able to resist them. And the thing about light? They shone. Believe me Rarity, they most certainly shone.

I'll be completely honest. This, in combination with the dream that came before it, brought me to tears with how good this was.

I was going to quote specifically what I liked, but I would just start putting the whole story in here. So instead I'll speak generally. You have the fantastic habit of making the ordinary tense, and the scary absolutely punishing. Celestia being like a mother figure to Twilight came with a motherly glow, but you made it perfectly plain that this glow had turned into a holy storm of supernovae that obliteration Twilight in her dreams and terrorized her in her waking life.

Celestia before gave Twilight the impression of dread, an angry god peering down at her with contempt. But Twilight saw through her. Twilight thought she was an angel, but Celestia in that one conversation convinced her otherwise. But, Twilight dreamed the next night about that same angel, the sun, purging all its conspirators in fire. Celestia had fooled Twilight again and had used her weakness with her nightmares to blind her as to the sun's true form. She really was an angel after all, but that only means that in time, Twilight will ascend too. That last line, about the single benevolent mouth, touched me. That single mouth is the one that lied to Twilight, the lie she believed. That's why she felt serene in looking at it, even though that mouth was sending its enemies into holy oblivion.

This was masterful, and it's nothing short of, nor an exaggeration to say, this is the best thing I've read on the sight, dare I say the best thing I've read period. There were more than a handful of moments where my jaw was agape in awe at the talent exhibited here. It brought tears down my cheeks and sheer inspiration to my very core. If I could ever write something a third as good as this, it would be towering leaps and exponential bounds ahead of anything I've made before it.

If that is Celestia's true form, what that really be such a bad thing if she only unleashes that fire on ponies who do bad things?

Something about the writing reminds me of Fallen London and Sunless Skies.

10277530
Because you have to worry about what, exactly, will count as "bad things".

Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the Angelic
Orders? And even if one were to suddenly
take me to its heart, I would vanish into its
stronger existence. For beauty is nothing but
the beginning of terror, that we are still able to bear,
and we revere it so, because it calmly disdains
to destroy us. Every Angel is terror.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Duino Elegies, the first elegy

Also, this makes me worry about Flurry Heart. Worry a lot.

Wow.

I have to say, I absolutely adore your perspective on the princesses. They've given me a lot to think about in terms of portraying them as more than mortal. One of these days I'm going to read Incandescent, Seraphim, and Somewhere Between Heaven And Earth all at once, then just spend a few hours meditating on how to expand my views of the characters. The beauty of your prose will make that an easy thing to do.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Hot damn, I am so very into this. :D

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These are equally plausible to me, and if i had to guess at the authorial intent (which i dont lol) it would be that twilight's stress, childhood repressed trauma, and knack for reading history leads her to project her fears of the future and position onto Celestia. After all, if celestia were a seraphim at this point, there wouldnt be a point hiding it from her, and twilight turning into one would be the only "seraphim real" situation that would trigger these dreams. So it's probably just her mental stress combined with the repressed memory that Celestia can actually be cruel and vengfeul, like FarmFresh says

However, if Seraphim are real and Celestia is one, not only does this fall into the unsettling pattern of Celestia being apart from ponykind, it also turns her into more of a force of nature than evil, which is cool in its own way, her having lost any connection to her past self and being the avatar of the Sun/State. But it also implies that since Twilight is not actually becoming one, that even when the show answered the question of Twilight being immortal like Celestia and Luna, they were STILL hiding a terrible truth from her, which is super neato.

Please continue this, it shows great potential in my eyes

Exquisitely haunting, all the more so because obeying Celestia is so hard to avoid. Especially when she tells you not to worry about something. Perhaps the only way to improve this might have been seeing Luna in one of the dreams trying to soothe Twilight in her own way… or at least downplay the suspicions of her sister. Still, Twilight has a much different dynamic with Luna than with Celestia; focusing on student and teacher may have been the better choice.

In any case, thank you for this. I’m glad I finally got to it.

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