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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That was amazing, I had no idea where you were taking this until it hit!
Great story! I love it.
Not only is every joke here a home run, they come out back to back, with perfect pacing. Axxuy is gonna flip.
this was a riot of a one-shot
Excellent!
Oh man, now I'm jealous, because this whole story is flippin' ingenious, and I wasn't the lucky son of a gun who thought of it first!
I think Yona is just standing at the side watching the whole mess go down with a bag of popcorn.
Ayn Rand, secret Griffon? Discuss.
This is the most hilarious story I've read in forever. Beautifully done.
Wow that was something lol so basically smolder and gallus are having their fights or whatever you call it so they're doing a saddle review conversation like an episode talking to each of the kids what happened which that was pretty funny they both have pretty interesting relationship yes they do but sometimes it can happen when it comes to love and everything I mean yes sooner or later they will learn how to love each other probably I mean anything could happen this was a pretty good story
I've probably watched too much anime in my life... Saw the ending coming a mile away. Though, Bringing in the princess of love was an especially nice touch. Well done all around.
"and the two walked in lock step."
"and the two walked in lockstep."?
"Smolder said, unphased, as she blew out a"
"Smolder said, unfazed, as she blew out a"?
"Gallus’s grin was wild, his eyes wild."
That works fine as it is, I think, but just checking it was what you meant:
"Gallus’s grin was wide, his eyes wild."?
Well, that was both nice and interesting, and funny. :D
Thank you for writing!
It was at this point that I knew this was going to be great. And then it kept getting better. I can't even choose a favorite part, though the part with the mace stands out. I didn't even see the ending coming, but it's the perfect escalation.
Thank you so much!
10590430
I can confirm that I'm flipping.
Trixie's last line made the story worth it in my book, if not all the rest of it. That, and out raged Ocellus. Her scenes were short and sporadic and it was fantastic. Ah, the life of a "romantic comedy standin"...
um, don't you mean smolder used to not like heartwarming?
It is with a most profound regret that I must inform you that I did not like this story. It is with an even greater regret that I must inform you I can't explain my distaste. Something about this story just rubbed me the wrong way, and I felt obligated to downvote it. When I downvote a story, I usually like to explain why. In this instance, however, I am unable to do so. For this, I apologize.
That was a fun ride.
Best part:
10590883 That's your call, of course, and it seems really nice of you to explain and apologize, but it's hardly fair that you've chosen to harshly judge a story when you don't even know why it bothers you. This is not helpful to anyone at all, including you. Perhaps you should investigate that before coming to such a conclusion? You might discover something about yourself in finding that answer, even if you still end up not liking the story.
Edit: And no, I didn't downvote you.
Yona: Yak see nothing. Yona just here for the candy cane.
This was absolutely brilliant, great work. I loved every moment of this
Well, I think you just won Jinglemas. And Ocellus won Hearth's Warming. And Yona won by staying out of the whole mess.
Heck, everycreature wins!
This was a seriously funny story, with just a drop of serious heartwarming in it, to make the jokes land even better. Well done!
Cadance laying it down there at the end.
Probably wondering if she can get tickets to see what happens, too.
This was pretty random in a fun way, not gonna lie.
Where was Yona in all this?
The idea is good, but the execution is terrible.
There are a bunch of ways you can lead to the "they both thought the other was Ocellus impersonating and played along" and the romance, even if you want to go the back-and-forth prank rout. The story picks a very toxic, out of character way to do it. Smolder's first prank was very insensitive and hurtful, I can't even see the other student 6 want to remain her friends after what she did to Gallus, let alone, as the story implies, laughing with her at him. And I can't see Smolder get that physical with the supposedly impersonating Ocellus, even if that was what she believed. And this story is supposed to happen after the show end, after all they had gone through together, it feels as if it needs an Alt. U. tag. Even the final turn around between Smolder and Gallus just feels out of nowhere. There's no believable transition at all.
That picture, tho
I LOVE this story.
The mace part just SOLD me on this story. Well done!
While most of the story was great, I feel Smolder's first "present" as part of an escalating prank war was like going for the nuclear option as an opening move. Even if Smolder hadn't given the game away at the end of the dance it's still a lousy thing to do. Just turns up to some Carrie level of nasty as it happened in the story.
The rest of how it played out was great and the use of different perspectives for both exposition and comedic effect is excellent, just that opening move was way too much.
Ocellus had the last laugh.
10590920
Nothing in the poster's explanation seemed harsh at all...
10591890 I was referring to the actual downvote, followed by "I downvoted your story but I don't even know why." This is like keying someone's car as you walk by just because "There was something I didn't like about it" and then scrawling an apology on the car.
10591923
Um...
I don't think that expressing dislike of something is anything like the destruction of someone's property...
The poster wasn't rude and tried to express their emotions, but they were just unable to.
Ahhh, that's some good reference material.
Griffons are financial conservatives. This surprises nobody.
Wait, the Randian anti-government book is named after the literal government?
Okay, who the fk invited Candy to this shtshow?!
Well, riffing aside, this was thoroughly delightful, Jaxie (no surprise there, yours tend to be good). Hilarious, well-paced, and does a good job of keeping things interesting with an ever-rotating cast of characters and their perspectives. You know I love a good comedy and a good holiday story, and this ticks both boxes.
Nice job and Merry Christmas, you magnificent bastard. 🎩
10590883
Protip: if you can't explain, don't speak. You gain nothing from drive-by dickery to strangers.
i.pinimg.com/originals/6f/84/a6/6f84a66146be51addd35a2b121053b20.jpg
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...to live!
Love!
There's a song to be sung!
Because they may not be
The Young Six for very long!
Okay, I'll admit that I didn't laugh out loud, but I had a smile on my face the moment Smoulder lit up her candy.
This story and the constant one-upmanship reminds me of the Halloween Heists from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, where every scheme, twist and winner is entirely unexpected and endlessly entertaining. And how dare you make me hop onto a ship I previously had no interest in, although I was expecting some trademark Jax-E-rated lewdness to cut the sexual tension.
Or maybe that's just me being a perv.
Nothing much more to add than what others have said, aside from this:
I feel Ocellus and Sweetie Bot have more in common than we realise.
Oh this was a great one. Loved the comedy bits, especially poor Ocellus.
That cover image
Smolder, you deserve the title of funniest prankster
what's this? where is the bitter-sweet ending? the soul crushing and all that stuff?
who are you and what have you done with the real GaPJaxie!
really though this was fantastic! loved every moment of it and can almost see it playing out in my head!
cute and sweet and funny every step of the way!
always love your writing GapJaxie!
10/10
Your writing is so clever!
...damn it, that lines gold!
This was hilarious and I feel bad I didn't notice Yona's absence but somehow every one of Trixie's lines made me laugh out loud and love her more. Enjoy the holidays Jaxie!
LMAOO
Agh, this story is TOO GOOD. Wonderful structure, and glorious, cheesy shipping. Well done!
Let’s be fair: Ocellus won. Way to go, Ocellus.
As always, GapJaxie writes the best stories. Where you spend the whole time laughing and then realize that was actually all character development.
I like that Princess Silverstream is complaining about unelected monarchs.
I mean, this was all Trixie trying to do her job to the best of her ability. You hired high-school dropout with a rap sheet and no relevant experience, Starlight.
We need more romance stories on this site where the main character has a supportive changling friend who dispenses wisdom in the second act.
I'll bet she did.
I cannot believe Starlight said that while Trixie was in the same room as her!
This just made me guffaw!
Ah. Finally. It took a GapJaxie story to fix everything. Well done.
10595265
The GRREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE'S LinkedIn profile CLEARLY states that she is a MOUNTEBANK, which term she will THANK you to use, sirrah, and good day to you, I said GOOD DAY!
The Magic Changeling
The One Changeling Friend
The Sassy Changeling
(This sounds like a series of really bad children's books)
10601662
I prefer hoaxer myself.
"Now I may be just a simple ex-infiltrator, but even I can see that you got to follow your heart."