• Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 51 minutes ago

PatchworkPoltergeist


Some dork on the internet that likes ponies and flower symbolism way too much.

T

Practice laps. That's all Fleetfoot wanted from her week off. A chance to build wing muscle, rack up her speed stats, and feel the wind in her mane. She's a racer. It's what she does.

Fleetfoot didn't ask to be put on search-and-rescue detail, and she definitely didn't ask to get saddled with the slowest Wonderbolt on the team.

She didn't ask for what came next, either.

Fleetfoot is not a monster fighter. She’s not an Element of Harmony. She's not a medic. She's not a hero. Fleetfoot’s just a pony who can fly really fast. But right now, she's all Silver Lining's got.


An entrant First place winner for Mana's Wonderful Wonderbolts Writing Contest

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 34 )

Patches does it again!

I can't say enough how I love your character-driven pieces. Keep up the good work!

Nice story. Good character progression.

Gah. I'm so screwed.

This was amazing, and congrats on a well-written piece. Top notch.

On the other hand, the more of these amazing stories come in, the more I realize I'm screwed in trying to enter the contest. Especially since, no joke, I was planning on writing a story involving Fleetfoot and a search and rescue.

Ouch. Another one bites the Recycle Bin.

Still, I was slow, and I lost. SImple as that. Excellent story, very well-written, best of luck to you!

I actually hate Fleetfoot less after this. Trust me, that is a tremendous accomplishment.

In all seriousness, fantastically crafted story, subtly ratcheting up the tension in the background until Fleetfoot looks into Brights's eyes and we can see what's coming. Then it comes to the foreground as she scrambles to see her teammate home and all of the 'Bolts prove that they're still part of the Guard, showponies or not. Magnificent stuff all around, from the characterization to the tie-ins with your other stories. Thank you for this.

I had always thought "Come back with your shield or on it" was a reminder of the importance of the shield: "You can lose your sword, your helm and your life, but DO NOT lose your shield".

A bit of research says I'm wrong.:ajsleepy:

My first reaction was to think Starlight Glimmer for some reason, until-

Thundering Sounds

Oh.

Right.

There was something else that stole marks first.

Really excellent story, I love when fan fiction gives a glimpse into the background of events covered by the show. This really sells the scale and fear of what happened at the end of Season 4.

The most interesting description I've seen in a while and it's a good story to boot? What is this voodoo? :rainbowderp:

Great job as always, Patchwork -- and in a different genre and style than your norm! Bravo! :pinkiehappy:

A fine story indeed! I really like how you flesh out the effects of Tirek's rampage, both here and in Silver Standard. It enriches Equestria, and makes the characters more real.

A grand tale that defintely gives some much-needed insight into Fleetfoot's character. ...Seems to be a popular Wonderbolt to write about, judging from the contest entries.

8694217
For what it's worth, I'd still like to see you write it, even if you don't make the contest deadline. We're not exactly swimming with Fleetfoot material on this site, and the few times she shows it's rarely as a main character, so I'm always excited to see more.

8695815
The full scope of Tirek's rampage is one of those things that become more horrific the more I think about it. The average pony on the street's lost her magic, her cutie mark and very essence of being--which is horrible in itself--but then consumed with absolute disregard. This unnamable thing she's never seen before has essentially eaten half her soul like a potato chip.
And then all she can do is watch while the same thing happens to her foal.

Like, this is the closest to complete destruction Equestria ever came to. Ponies can fight Chrysalis, they can overthrow Starlight, they can resist Nightmare Moon (or at least stay alive under her tyranny), and Discord... well, Discord's a luck of the draw but he can at least be reasoned with and talked to. Tirek? You run. You run and pray the princesses can do something. There's nothing else you can do.
TLDR;Tirek is damn scary and if he somehow gets reformed I'm going to flip a damn table.

8696696
Nah, sorry, that probably won't happen. I'm not kidding when I say that the premise I thought of was EXTRMELY similar. I can't believe someone else thought of it also, or that you beat me to it.

Maybe I'll do some Wonderbolt story some other time, but not this one. I don't want to upload a story that would be seen as "suspiciously" similar. How exactly am i supposed to explain that I coincidentally also had the same idea, when someone has already written it better and written it first? :derpyderp2:

Again, though, great story.

“We’re fliers, not fighters, Lining. We’re not guards—not real ones.” Okay, they’re technically still a unit of the E.U.P., but in the same way a cow born in a tree is a bird.

"Dear Princess Celestia..."

Last evening, there came a'rter us
A creature straight from Tartarus:
He looked at our kit
And giggled a bit
And laughed until he cried...

Wow, this story was amazing! It got really suspenseful and emotional after seeing Brights' eyes. I knew it was Tirek but it still felt like a horror movie waiting for the first encounter with the monster, and that montage scene at the end of chapter one was really impactful.

You kept the feeling of the show, both with characters and pacing, by giving each major character a strong personality and worldview/motivation was really good; all the while tying it into the series and your own story, which you seem to take extreme care to keep inline with the show's canon.

Excellent story! Straight to my favorites list and an easy five star rating!

I've always loved stories about people who ride out to face impossible odds knowing that they're probably not coming back. I am impressed with how you handled this. Well done indeed.

ROBCakeran53
Moderator

Patches, this was a wonderful read and use of Fleetfoot's character. Well done, and congrats for winning.


8700829

Holy fuck, this story. The descriptions, the little details. It's all so wonderful, I got teary-eyed by some of them. There's too much amazing packed in here to gush about coherently.

Hopefully the bookshelf placement says it all.

anyone else gonna ship it? ima ship it

Good story. I especially liked the different perspective.

Most of us have seen the episode with Tirek, but we dont tend to dwell on what happened while Tirek and Discord were on their way. So I find this as interesting thoughts to dwell on myself.

The emergency recruit’s grey coat and golden eyes remind her of Silver Lining if he had a lazy eye and ninety-percent less grace. She’d given everypony baked goods this morning for an extra carbo load.

Yay! :derpytongue2:

This is a good story and I wonder if there's a connection between Silver Lining's dad and the rollercoaster in Las Pegasus. One of good things about this story is that Fleetfoot is a complex character with flaws but still a Wonderbolt. The references to future episodes where nice too.

8927951
Thanks, I've never had a video review before. c: Those are some far out lights, man.

Well, that wasn't at all what I was expecting when I decided to read this. Very well done, this had an amazing atmosphere throughout the entire read.

A really solid story, and I can see exactly why it won the contest. Others here have praised Fleetfoot's characterisation and how rare it is to see her - and they're right - but I think it's Silver Lining who's really of note, as this is the first time I've seen an actual personality for him, and I love how different it makes him to the rest of the 'Bolts.

Fantastic idea for a premise, too, and a great way to use Rainbow Falls and see how it affected characters in its wake.

Hey there! Have a long over-due review from the Pleasant Commentator and Review Group.

I swear we ain't dead just... unalive.

Any comments, concerns, thoughts, or musings, feel free to PM me and I'll gladly discuss them.

Fuller review here, but in brief: ties into show canon in a very satisfying way, has a reveal that creeps up on you and then makes perfect sense, and actually made me care about Fleetfoot, who I generally don't much like. The best Wonderbolts fic I've read in ages, and a pretty easy fave.

Action-packed, awesome and really nicely done. I was surprised by multiple things in here, especially seeing the name of a very familiar G3 pony! You're very good at showing the world through side characters and offering a great tale about them. Take your 100th updoot! Also, I'm not sure why I was not following you already. That's been fixed.

Does this stand with... What was the name? Looked it up. Piercing the Heavens? Is this the same verse?

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