• Member Since 25th Sep, 2011
  • online

FanOfMostEverything


"[FoME] manages the impossible combination of being an actual legitimate nerd while staying unabashedly pleasant." —Aragón

E
Source

It all started so simply. An offhoof comment from Strawberry Sunrise, a moment of righteous indignation, an effort to protect her livelihood...

Then Shoeshine ran into an unexpected extra mare in Princess Twilight's castle, and everything went off the rails.

Winner of the Season 9 Bingo Contest.

Cover note: Daring's not tiny; she's just far away.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 57 )

Everyone knows that far away things are indeed just small.

"Uh, well..." The stallion fiddled with his spear, looking everywhere but his master's eyes. "You see, it was this crosseyed pegasus—"

"Oh." And as quickly as it came, Ahuizotl's fury was gone. He sat back down and put the box back in his lap. "Say no more, my servant. If it was the Bride of Hermes fulfilling her duties, then I have no room to complain.

...?

9535463
See the author's note. Thank/blame Georg.

Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite FiMFiction author? It bears repeating. Case in point: this story.

The title would make an excellent band name.

Aw yes. This was a really funny little adventure! My favorite line: "Pedal faster. I hear Windigos." :trixieshiftright:

9535565
I'm pretty sure it means that if Daring had been thinking about it, she could have pointed out where the gates were to Cherry, who in turn could have landed near them, making their trek at least a little shorter. But she's not used to having a chopper pilot and normally has a broken wing by now, so she's not used to the idea of figuring out the optimal landing spot.

Dear God, it's been forever since I've heard of those horseshoes. I feel old, but I also feel happy :pinkiehappy:

It would seem that all Applejacks are badasses :ajsmug: I also believe in the Sparkle Effect, to the point where I'm expecting to come across a story that includes all of the Ponyville residents in an epic of badassary!

RB_

Great fun. Best of luck in the competition.

A delightful read. My only complaint is that all of tge wonderful moments were crammed into one chapter, making it difficult to single out parts to comment on.

Can confirm the Lullamoon Effect is a thing (if Her Highness es' Hunters is to be believed).

Also, can you direct me more directly to Georg's Herpy shipping? Because this is the first I've heard of this and yet I've always needed it in my life.

"Since before I moved to Ponyville. She doesn't have a sinister bone in her body!"

"The worst thing she does is cut in line, and not since Fluttershy... shall we say discouraged that behavior."

It's owner

(singing) Ohhhhhhh, if you want it to be possessive, it's just 'I-T-S,' but if it's supposed to be a contraction then it's 'I-T-apostrophe-S,' scalawag. :raritywink:

She cut herself off as she finally met Showshine's gaze.

Well, the keys are close together. Unless you're using DVORAK layout, in which case, I'm not sure how that happened.

You should try flying in a monkey-operated barrel plane

That sounds like a pretty funky flight.

I can't exactly complain too much about glossing over things, since I did it in my own Daring Do story. Eh, good overall.

I loved so much about this, especially all those references. And now I find front the author’s note that I have more to check out!

And Dream Valley as an ancient archaeology site with the castle enveloped by the schmooze, and the Windigos...

I wonder what, exactly, they’re scared of over there?

And the curse of Ahuiziotl is such a great idea. He does love his cats too, as a scheming villain should.

Daring working with her human counterpart... nice.

Though if she does more investigation in Dream Valley there’s going to be another portal to discover. Look for the wild rainbow. Means she has resources if she needs to do something interdimensional keep it secret from Twilight.

Should I be getting Trial of a Time Lord vibes from what Starlight is up to? Can we see some day? Will she come back with a fear of right angles and a new terror of Pinkie Pie?

9535507
:twilightsheepish:

9535530
The Khaki Maniacs just weren't the same after Daring formed a duet with herself.

9535565
There was a missing "usually" in there. It's since been corrected. But yeah, 9535599 has the gist of it; Daring's not used to working with air superiority after that first climactic (or, in this case, climatic) encounter.

9535581
You know it's serious when Trixie uses first-person pronouns.

9535713
I'm honestly surprised there aren't more Daring Do/G1 stories out there. Ancient history and an archeologist; it practically writes itself!

9535809

My only complaint is that all of the wonderful moments were crammed into one chapter, making it difficult to single out parts to comment on.

This is why I sometimes take notes while reading, so as not to leave anything out in my comments.

I remain convinced that all ponies are badasses waiting to happen. Ponyville is just an effective crucible in that regard.

For the ship, see There Goes the Neighborhood, though you should note that it only really shows up at the end. Not really a spoiler, since it doesn't impact the plot.

9535850
Thanks for the typo catches. All taken care of.

9535993
While unsaid in the story, the patch of airspace Daring has in mind is directly over the Giftgivers' cottage. Nothing like holiday cheer to keep away the hate spirits.

I don't have anything specific planned for Starlight's trial, but we'll see what happens.

This was pretty fun throughout, and of course included multiple interesting headcanon tidbits, as is your norm. And don't think I missed that Weapon of the Ancients reference.

9536058
Oh right. Forgot that detail!

Cool story!

And "Go South, Young Mare" is canon! Whoo!

Gonna go read your Marble Mac / Sugar Mac Christmas Story now.

Typos:

being dentist

being a dentist

Nice
work as always.

Needs less spacing.

There seems to be a bit of a conflict here:
"It was around that point that Shoeshine's mind moved past the shoes and reached the realization of Daring Do exists, at which point she fell back on her haunches and watched, wide-eyed."
"I'm pretty sure everypony in town knows you're real after reading Ring of Destiny, Miss Do. And that one Winter Wrap-Up where you and Cherry Berry helped Ditzy Doo bring in the southern birds."
Am I missing something?

Otherwise, excellent. :D

edit:
Oh, right, though there is one other thing I thought of:
What happened with presumably-Trixie's magic touching the horseshoes?

I learned about G1 Applejack's finest hour from DGD Davidson in A Might Demon Slayer. It was a messed origin story for the Crystal Ponies.

9536105 9536207
I didn't set out to create a single timeline for my Daring Do stories—and, indeed, Ahuizotl's origins don't quite line up between the three of them—but they've given me a good grasp on what my take Daring is like.

9536556
:facehoof: No, you didn't miss anything. I've adjusted the passage such that Shoeshine doesn't completely contradict herself.

What happened with presumably-Trixie's magic touching the horseshoes?

Trixie's contract for the story keeps me from elaborating; I've already hit her embarrassment quota. (And if you think that's bad, you should see what I have to go through when Discord's involved.)

9536571
Crystal eyes => crystal body. Makes sense to me.

Well, that was quite a trip :rainbowderp: And it sprang from one heck of a prompt.

I recall fairly early in the fandom many headcanoned Ponyville as secretly unusual in some way. Either it was a barrier town to protect the rest of Equestria from the dangers of the Everfree forest and Celestia sent a lot of retired badasses there, or it was a social experiment designed to just create so many potential bearers of the Elements that Twilight could have taken any five ponies in with her and they could have been the Elements of Harmony

9536720
":facehoof: No, you didn't miss anything. I've adjusted the passage such that Shoeshine doesn't completely contradict herself."
Oh, well, thanks. :D Sorry. :)

"Trixie's contract for the story keeps me from elaborating; I've already hit her embarrassment quota. (And if you think that's bad, you should see what I have to go through when Discord's involved.)"
Heh. :)

9536058
>Daring Do/G1
There's the ferret theory about it being the other way around, which is interesting.

By the time Shoeshine reached the doors of the giant crystal-tree-palace, she was angry enough to consider a side trip to Two Things Boulevard. Torches and Farm Supplies was having a sale...

:rainbowlaugh: i love this

Getting ready for a dynamic archeological expedition was surprisingly easy, at least for a "horseshoe consultant." Shoeshine just packed some tools and winter clothes, then dug out the "Gone Adventuring" sign the town chamber of commerce had given her and most other Ponyvillians after Princess Luna's return and hung it on her door. "If Pinkie Pie can get called to save the world, anypony can" had been the logic at the time, and Shoeshine found herself grateful for it.

this is totally a thing that happened

Trixie bolted up, chin high, chest puffed out, hat replaced at a jaunty angle. All that was missing was a breeze to make her cape billow dramatically. "How Princess Sparkle is going to finally recognize Trixie's incomporable skill!

incomparable*

Daring nodded. "One of the basic lessons of Hearth's Warming, right up there with leaving milk and cookies out for the spirit of Chancellor Puddinghead."

ooh this is the perfect analogue for the real-life christmas milk and cookies thing. love it lmao

She reared up, spreading wings and forelegs to encompass the ancient citadel. "Behold, ladies. Dream Castle. The desmesne of Queen Majesty, the home of the likes of Gusty the Great, and the earliest known bastion of equine civilization. Here it lies, preserved by the cold and the frozen corpse of the First Smooze."

ahh, it's always nice when people acknowledge and create content about the old generations. reading this story is incredibly satisfying to me, i won't lie. excellent job tying it in to daring do and her expeditions!

Daring sighed. "Look, let me have this one, and I'll stick to equatorial regions for the next, oh, three expeditions."

He narrowed his eyes. "S-s-s-six."

this whole exchange is hilarious

three last things i love about this :twilightsmile:
- the identifying of characters by shoeshine by their shoe size and material. a nice touch
- your characterisation of ahuizotl (especially that last part pfft)
- just the general writing and comedy style here. you're pretty hilarious my dude

When will our Applejack come for Sunburst?

It was a delight. To be honest, I expected it to be great, but nonetheless it's nice that my intuition was confirmed.

So, will Daring Do's next crew be selected by sitting in Sugar Cube Corner and pointing out the first five ponies coming through the doorway? I mean, it's the only rational way to get help for the recovery of the Cotton Candy Spindle of Fate.

Shoeshine just packed some tools and winter clothes, then dug out the "Gone Adventuring" sign the town chamber of commerce had given her and most other Ponyvillians after Princess Luna's return and hung it on her door. "If Pinkie Pie can get called to save the world, anypony can" had been the logic at the time, and Shoeshine found herself grateful for it.

Seems legit.

Also, Daring's whole explanation of the mundane nature of her work as though she's had to give this speech before was great. Especially why you don't mess with the rail workers. She's been doing this job too long if this is all so casual for her. Almost got a Peter B. Parker vibe from her.

"Ah, spite. Finally something Trixie can get behind."

:trixieshiftright:

"Security spell." Cherry glared and practically flung herself out of her seat. As she hurried to the back of the car, she cried, "Get to the thopter!"

Cherry is secretly Austrian.

Daring dove into one of the open sides, slamming into the fake conductor. Cherry wasn't far behind, shouting improbable speculation about his parentage.

:ajbemused: (In fine Captain America style) Language!

"I'm an earth pony in aeronautics. I've had to develop a thick skin." Cherry chuckled. "That and I've ferried the Gold Horseshoe Gals to and from Las Pegasus for the past eight years. It takes a lot to be more terrifying than an hours-long balloon ride with four old mares who don't have an ounce of shame between them."

I'm reminded of a quote from a Karen Traviss Halo book where one of the Marines wonders if dropship pilots get excited
when they open presents or just grunt calmly because nothing phases them anymore. Cherry would make a good dropship pilot.

Also, thinking on what she's had to listen to... :pinkiesick:

Trixie apparently came to the same conclusion, given how well she summed it up: "Pedal faster. I hear windigoes."

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

"Of course. It's Ponyville. Next you'll tell me somepony found the Diptych of Manifestation in a stable sale."

:raritywink: Now why would you think that, Daring? Also, great name for that book.

Man, insurance in Ponyville must have caused the entire industry to evolve throughout the nation; possibly the world.

"Assuming they haven't gone crazy." Everypony turned to Trixie. "What? It's like Daring said. Millennia of frozen isolation can't be good for your mental health, even when you're a bunch of magical horseshoes."

"Today is a day of brave new frontiers for the Ponish language," Cherry observed.

*choking on laughter* Cherry, you are the wind beneath my wings.

"Oh." And as quickly as it came, Ahuizotl's fury was gone. He sat back down and put the box back in his lap. "Say no more, my servant. If it was the Bride of Hermes fulfilling her duties, then I have no room to complain.

That makes... entirely too much sense. :applejackunsure:

And the Sparkle Effect might as well be canon.

You do such a phenomenal job of portraying what it would be like to live in a town of such extraordinary happenings as Ponyville, where madness occurs so often as to be mundane. The world just feels organic and lived in. It's like the construction crews in superhero worlds and the medics in exploration sci-fi. You hit a certain point where you just shrug and go along with it. Marvelous characterization overall; sarcastic Cherry the dropship pilot in particular holds a special place in my heart.

9536743
It's been so long since I first used the term, I'm genuinely unsure if I got it from him or if we both just made the same corruption of "Megan."

9536839
Yeah, it took a fair amount of time to come with something that could cover all of these bases. Mind you, I am quite happy with the ultimate result.

9536842
Given "Celestial Advice," that's arguably canon. Celestia was certainly aware of potential Bearers living there. In any case, the nearby Everfree and the interesting times Twilight ushered in have turned Ponyville into a place where the locals farm experience points as much as they do apples.

9537398
Huh. Reversing the generational order has some disquieting implications, but it is a very interesting take on it.

9538100
Quills and Sofas, Torches and Farming Supplies, Mattresses and Medical Supplies...

Barnyard Bargains forces its competition to specialize in peculiar ways.

9538190
Glad you enjoyed it! Especially the bit with Shoeshine identifying ponies by their horseshoe size. I was worried it might be a bit intrusive, but I'm glad it shone through as a character quirk. And a Daring Do story seemed like the perfect time to incorporate some G1 references.

9539911
Likely never. He's not a member of any rival fruit clans, nor has he ever insulted apples to her face.

9539941
I'm pretty sure Pinkie already has the Spindle somewhere in the Party Cave. Because feathering Ponyville.

9541439
The Ponyville Chamber of Commerce is nothing if not forward-thinking.

Daring being that sort of comically seasoned adventurer not only makes sense, after how many novels she's put out, it's practically required.

:trixieshiftright:

It's Trixie. Tell me I'm wrong.

Cherry would make a good dropship pilot.

Absolutely. Especially since she'd be thrilled to work with a craft that runs on something other than the pilot's effort.

Man, insurance in Ponyville must have caused the entire industry to evolve throughout the nation; possibly the world.

I like Estee's take on the matter: Ponyville is where insurance companies go to die.

Cherry, you are the wind beneath my wings.

Heh. Irony.

Glad you enjoyed this one so much. Thanks for the detailed review of your favorite parts! :twilightsmile:

9541695
But he is a wizard surrounded by gem pones.

9541676
Lingerie and Refrigerators, Ponyville Joke Shop and Military Surplus

9541731
You mean you didn't hear? Ponyville Joke Shop and Military Surplus went out of business. Someone confused an exploding cigar with a stick of dynamite.

9541695

I'm pretty sure Pinkie already has the Spindle somewhere in the Party Cave. Because feathering Ponyville.

Then it will be an especially short adventure.

Or a very, very long one, depends on the mood and if Pinkie is included in the expedition, I guess.

An amusing story from start to finish.

Also I finished reading this and almost immediately started imagining Daring Do heading up something like the equestrian version of The Monuments Men set in the Sombran war timeline. Of course, in a world with magic, relics can have strategic as well as cultural significance.

Comment posted by Zennistrad deleted Apr 7th, 2019

"And then there's what she's done with her so-called school and that weird portal thing! I mean, at least Rarity has some sense of restraint. Twilight brings in yaks and dragons and ideas from whole other universes..." Strawberry sighed. "Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned Ponyville, Shoeshine?"

Considering its proximity to the Everfree, and considering all the monsters that live there, I sorta doubt there was ever a time when Ponyville wasn’t dealing with shenanigans on a regular basis.

By the time Shoeshine reached the doors of the giant crystal-tree-palace, she was angry enough to consider a side trip to Two Things Boulevard.

Took me a moment to get this one.

"Yes. The chronomancy we've been using to let everypony both teach at the School of Friendship and do their day jobs drew the wrong kind of attention. Long story short, we're all swamped until Starlight gets back from her hearing at the Tribunal of Time. Which is in another universe. I only have twenty-four hours per day right now, and speaking from experience, Celestia doesn't appreciate it when you ask her for more.

“Look, I very much understand the temptation to poke at the Big Ball of Timey-Wimey Stuff, but I have enough to worry about within my own multiversal time stream, thank you very much.”

Daring rolled her eyes. "It's called a substitute teacher, Twilight. Celestia knows I made use of them back when I was stuck in a teaching position."

"We tried that once. We had to rebuild several classrooms and resod the entire buckball field afterwards. We went for the highly dangerous chronomancy for a reason."

...Maybe find a way to make sure Discord doesn’t ruin everything again?

Yes, the name on my birth certificate is Aluvial Karst-Yearling

Clever.

"Fair enough," Daring said after her own assessment. "It's fairly straightforward, all things considered. Cherry's here for logistics, since even I'd hesitate to fly as far north as we're going on my own. Plus, if there are any windigos still in the area, best to travel in a group with full tribal representation."

"Shouldn't we have a bat pony for that?" said Cherry.

You know, I don’t think the show’s ever addressed if those actually exist or if it’s just a thing Luna’s guard does for appearance.

Shoeshine started pedaling. Cherry just glared. "You know, Captain Lulamoon, you could take a turn."

Trixie's head burst out of her woolen nest. "Who told you that name?"

I feel like there’s a story here somewhere...

"Uh, girls?" They looked to see Shoeshine standing inside Mimic's room, facing them. She pointed up. "I found them. They're hanging above the doorframe. I guess even Mimic needed a little good luck sometimes."

Pfft. Okay, that was a good twist. :rainbowlaugh:

"Judging by how we're not being swarmed by your 'social media' fans right now, that much is clear." Daring made a point of looking around their relatively isolated table at the coffee shop.

"Come on, you know me." A. K. Yearling smiled, took her teacup in hand, and toasted Daring. "We both do like our privacy."

...what.

No, I’m sorry, what?

Well, okay, that certainly went places I didn’t expect. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting from the title, but all in all, an enjoyable read.

"I'm an earth pony in aeronautics. I've had to develop a thick skin." Cherry chuckled. "That and I've ferried the Gold Horseshoe Gals to and from Las Pegasus for the past eight years. It takes a lot to be more terrifying than an hours-long balloon ride with four old mares who don't have an ounce of shame between them."

I'm guessing the dotty one and the member of the Flower Trio are related in name only?

Demented fun. You always have a way of making headcanon sound plausible. Congrats on the contest win!

It's the little things that can really make a story, and they helped make this one - I do enjoy how that Red Planet seems to get around, for instance. Fantastic!

(I just got the first three lines, or at least an interpretation I can really enjoy) :)

Dynamic Archaeology-- are you sure you didn't mean Action Archaeology?:raritywink:
This was a real delight.

Yes. The chronomancy we've been using to let everypony both teach at the School of Friendship and do their day jobs drew the wrong kind of attention. Long story short, we're all swamped until Starlight gets back from her hearing at the Tribunal of Time.

Well, this explains a lot and also raises more questions. Standard fare with FoME’s head canons.

Aluvial Karst-Yearling.

I named her Advent Kiosk Yearling… yours is more delightfully complicated though.

chiropteron

No one is ever going to agree what to call those things… Bats? Thestrals? WHAT ARE THEEEEY?

"Red planet?"

I, too, find myself wondering about this red planet.

Daring sighed. "Look, let me have this one, and I'll stick to equatorial regions for the next, oh, three expeditions."
He narrowed his eyes. "S-s-s-six."

Ah, the warm fuzzy feeling of having a true nemesis…

If it was the Bride of Hermes fulfilling her duties

WHAT.

Right, good show, funny ride.

Now, the big question. Are these the Rarities that start the Infinite Carousel, hmm?

-GM, master of carries.

9621050
"Action Archeology" doesn't look nearly as professional to other academics. It does attract more undergrads, though whether that's a positive or a negative is up for debate.

9621530

No one is ever going to agree what to call those things… Bats? Thestrals? WHAT ARE THEEEEY?

To be fair, I've seen maybe three other people use my term for them.

I, too, find myself wondering about this red planet.

Psychic resonance from when Cherry's counterpart from Equis Kerbal got stranded on Earth Watney.

WHAT.

See There Goes the Neighborhood. I'm not saying it's the same Best Pony, but the deed did echo through the multiverse.

Now, the big question. Are these the Rarities that start the Infinite Carousel, hmm?

They're hardly the first case of human-pony inter-Rarity collaboration, but they are some of the few in a society that considers the possibilities of more than just two universes. And when Sunset, Star Swirl, and the Twilights can all collaborate on mirror portals...

Very good odds that this is where the Carousel starts spinning, yes.

9622122
No, Action Archaeology is a reference-- you don't know what Atomic Robo is.

Stop whatever your doing and go read Atomic Robo. It's a Web comic, the main character runs a company that's like a competent version of Aperture and is a robot invented by Tesla and his arch-foe is named Doctor Dinosaur.

it is the best comic ever.

EDIT: This is a great place to start.

I always love stories that play on Ponyville's casual insanity. This was excellently done.

I'm late to the party, but I found this on my too-read list and lamented that I had missed it. Always up for a romp that explores the mythic first generation of equine history; giving a convincing watsonian explanation for Ahuizotl's villain cliches was just a plus.

Also referencing the theories of an anthropologist (hippologist?) named Ritual Purpose nearly killed me there. :rainbowlaugh:

9814284
Glad you enjoyed it! The G1 references and the justification for Ahuizotl's Bond villainy were both quite fun.

And yeah, every generation, the same conversation takes place at least once:

"You never thought of a name?"
"We've both been so busy with the archeology department, we never had time."
"And the foal was frankly a bit of a surprise."
"Look, you have to pick something."
"Well, if we don't know what it's for..."

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!