• Member Since 7th Jun, 2021
  • offline last seen Monday

TankFBI


No, this is Patrick

T

All I remember is flying my plane away from a storm... now I'm stuck in a body of a child that doesn't belong to me, surrounded by creatures I once thought were only myths. I want to go home...


Comments and constructive criticism is strongly encouraged so I can make the story better!
If you have any thoughts, please don't hesitate to comment!
Wow, thank you so much for getting me featured for the first time on 06/10/21!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 76 )

This story looks interesting so far. Can't wait to see what happens next!

Read the story, not a bad start with the plane crash idea, I wonder if it actually crashed in a cloud or something or very near the WB's HQ. For the Wonderbolts being in a hospital in flight uniform, this also got to be a PR event for them to publicize their themselves for saving a foal and show support to other patients while their at it; probably going to have a photo op with the guy. I wonder what will get the WB get hitched with that colt in some way, at they supposed to protect him from something. Or could it be that one or more member of the WB's were hopping for a foal of their own. I wonder if Soarin and Rainbow Dash will be part of the cast. And I wonder what they will make of the plane crash, definitely not design for pony anatomy in mind, would Equestria's crown get interested in it? Would have liked to have had more of a backstory for the main character, we can guess he has a pilot license and seems to hold his machine to heart, so he might really like flying even having a career as a pilot, but is no stunt flyer.

Also if you are looking commission for a cover art let me know, I am some experience in that. Here is the link to my DeviantArt Gallery and my Youtube channel.

Good Luck on your story:twilightsmile:

10855520
Thanks for the support, and I would love to commission some cover art, but I'm broke:rainbowlaugh: thanks for the offer though.

10855533
No a problem dude, just keep on writing, best wishes to you.

Cant wait for chapter 2!! :D

“A plane crash? That’s how I went?”

I mean, you are a pilot, you probably shouldn't be surprised :)

Did I miss something? His name is [REDACTED]

10855893
Whoops, pretend you didn't see that...

10855991
Thanks!
10855985
It's probably going to slow a bit in upcoming chapters.

hmmm, i see no drama tag here..
i will follow this story just to make sure how it went later

The Council approves.

We await further delivery of chapters.

Interested in seeing where this goes. Best of luck to ya. ✌

Evan seems a little blasé considering he’s in an alien body and surrounded by mythical creatures. On the other hand, I guess he hasn’t fully processed everything yet. I’ll be waiting for the next chapter.

A good start

As long as there's no future bunch of... Darkness, war, all sorts of stuff...
I'm really afraid of the HIEdramatic change in life

10856690
I don't think the world will go boom
10856673
Honestly, I didn't really expect the story to do this well, so now I'm actually starting to plan and stuff for the first time to try and step up the quality.
10856510
Lol
10856486
Thanks
10856463
Thanks
10856437
The council shall not be disappointed
10856410
I really don't even know what qualifies as drama on fimfiction.

10856757

Honestly, I didn't really expect the story to do this well, so now I'm actually starting to plan and stuff for the first time to try and step up the quality.

Ha, there's the consequence to it all. Once you write well, people expect you to keep writing well.

I find it funny how many HiE stories involve getting turned into kids. It seems to me like that's the majority. Not complaining since for some reason I really like that trope, but I do wonder how that took off.

Anyway, great start, looking forward to seeing how it develops.

10857426
Thanks, and yeah it does seem that becoming a kid again rather than staying an adult is very popular. I think the story oh to be old again made it popular.

Well this is definitely off to an interesting start, I can’t wait for the next chapter!

10857437
Thanks for the support!

Why does Evan jump to “I’m doomed!” when he learns that a princess is going to visit him?

The WBs seem awful blasé about the fact that a Pegasus child was in a burning object that was clearly not only a vehicle, but a vehicle with OBVIOUS wings, tail, and control surfaces for aerial flight and no other logical way for it to be in the woods (it clearly didn’t drive there on those little wheels).

Also, if Dash has been a WB for a while, does that mean that Twilight has already visited the human world a few times? If so, shouldn’t she instantly recognize an airplane when she sees one?

It sounds like the WBs got there soon enough to not only get Evan out, but put out the fire before the plane was a total loss. He may still have some gear or such that could be useful. (Tablet, phone, solar charger, etc).

Also, why is this not showing up in my stories I’m following?

10857969
All of this will be explained in the coming chapters... well it should at least.

I understand the being directed by the new Minecraft update. What do you like about it so far?

I shook my head, still full of thoughts, and just washed my hooves to the best of my ability. I focused solely on washing my hooves and drying them before I made my towards the door.

I think you missed something there.

It’s telling that Pinkie said a “welcome to Equestria party.”

summersaults — somersaults

10875378
Thanks for telling me, it's been fixed
10875487
Thanks for telling me, it's been fixed
10875390
The pink one knows all
10875293
I've drowned myself in axolotls, and copper is pretty cool too

You honestly have me interested even with just two chapters. I do wonder though if you’ll leave him as a pony or somehow have him reclaim his humanity?

When the next chapter will come ?

10947814
It's in the works, just with school starting back up I haven't had much time. Expect the next chapter around the beginning of September.

The fethers falling out doesn't seem good

10962075
Must not have preened himself lately.

Evan seems like an interesting protagonist as does Fleetfoot as a parental figure so I'll be following this to see how their relationship develops once they start living together. I also hope to see this story have an eventual conclusion and not end up as one of the many abandoned/canceled fics that have interesting premises but never get finished for various reasons.

It’s a trap! That whole song and dance about “he’s a runaway from some backwater village “ was MEANT to be overheard by him and lull him into a false self security while they investigate further!

As I slowly laid back down, only one thought ran through my head, “I’m doomed!”

strange... I would of noticed Rainbow Dash from the start. Being the only one I knew the name and face of. Twilight Sparkle meant nothing; I didn't even have a clue of what she looked like before I started watching...

10962402
I may have been a bit unclear, but I would think meeting a princess of any kind would be pretty nerve-racking when you know next to nothing about them.

Interesting start, I'm afraid there's not much here for me to gauge yet. I've read a lot of these and I can never get enough of this trope. However, I do hope you can get it right; plenty of authors tend to forget about making this kind of character feel down to earth or realistic. What I mean by that is making them feel vulnerable. If I was sucked into a new world in a new body that was physically regressed, I think I'd be freaking out a lot more often. :twilightblush:

10962414
While something might of been missed on translation I must disagree on your second point. My vary American family raised me to believe "all are equal under god" which is vary liberal notion despite the conservative leaning family.

Respecting a princess because princess is a foreign -and dare I say backwards- concept. If she is really that great she must prove it by strength of character not title.

Fleetfoot is an orphan herself isn’t she?

absolutely smashing chapter my good sir! looking forward to the next! :moustache:

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