• Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
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PatchworkPoltergeist


Some dork on the internet that likes ponies and flower symbolism way too much.


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Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Thrice is a pattern.

Filthy Rich knows this pattern. The delicious smells of freshly baked eggs, cheese and pastry tell him that something has gone terribly wrong, and he can't help the feeling Diamond's note has something to do with it.

Patterns are made to be broken. It's high time for a talk.


A side story in direct continuity with The Silver Standard and What Riches Still Await. Familiarity is highly recommended, but not required.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 43 )
RBDash47
Site Blogger

Yay!

As someone with no familiarity with the other stories in this continuity, it's well worth the read.

Don't these two know that you're supposed to wait half an hour after eating?

Oh well maids, cheesecake down, cleanup on isle pool. :pinkiesick:

MOAR realistic and mature grown-up pone problems wooooooo! :raritywink:

Ah, earth pony psychology. When upset, work. It'll give your body something productive to do while your brain's trying to eat itself.

Not sure if I'm commented on it before, but "Spoils" is such a perfect pet name for Spoiled, especially coming from Filthy.

Not everypony had the privilege of seeing an aurora. Not everypony could stand the cold long enough to see one

Oh wow. That is a metaphor almost as good as Spoiled Rich's quiche.

I'm maybe a thousand words into this and you have already crafted a poignant tragedy out of quiche. One that has me feeling sorry for one of the show's most unsympathetic characters.
The point I'm trying to get across is that you are some manner of wizard.

Heh. I'd actually forgotten about Impossibly Rich. Very nice callback there. (And a good thing Filthy never heard about that incident in Las Pegasus.)

Besides, Spoiled’s eleven was more like Goldie’s five.

And if that doesn't say volumes, I don't know what does.

Hey, nopony doesn’t not like free food.

:derpyderp1: Ow. That caused physical pain as I parsed it. And I'm pretty sure it came out meaning the opposite of what he was going for. Unless that was the joke.

The thing is... Spoiled is not entirely wrong about Silver. The motives are different, but the actions and outcome...

Ah. But that's not the only precious metal involved. And even then, Spoiled manages to misunderstand Diamond's motives.

you know how Diamond loves her little projects

A school election’s just a popularity contest with speeches; it’s the same damn thing as a pageant but without the dresses!

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He’d got his name that way, after all.

Could've been worse. With that philosophy, his father could've named him Sue.

Two very funny jokes in rapid succession. Very good way to ease out of the emotional climax and into the denouement.

“We might benefit from…” Filthy’s hoof waved through the air, searching for the least provocative terminology. “…external consultation in order to better navigate our current paradigm shift.”

You're welcome. :raritywink:

Another fantastic story with a couple so few work with. Especially not in such sympathetic circumstances. There's definite hope here. Hope for resolving long-held resentment and forging a new path. Here's hoping they manage it.

This is likely the most sympathetic version of Spoiled Rich I have ever seen. She isn't perfect in this version as she definitely left out some details of her encounter with Diamond but you do see a parent trying hard in this imagining.

I see you're continuing the valiant fight to make us feel sorry for Spoiled Rich.

I can't tell if it's working yet. Maybe three more of these? :scootangel:

Wow! The thing I really love about your (Diamond Tiara/Silver Spoon) stories is how you weave them through episodes of the show and make so much out of the character's lives; you work with just minutes worth of screen time and turn it into fully developed relationships, business, social, and familial.

Just like in The Silver Standard, you made Spoiled feel both in-character and genuine as well as justified without being a victim, she remained an opposing force without becoming a villain either. It's really amazing how well you handle these characters!

Well, what can I say. Patches strikes again!

Great read, I have nothing to add to all the preceding comments except: It's always a charm to preread for you. c:

Even knowing her motives and seeing first-hand that she doesn't mean to be such an absolute bitch...

Still can't work up any sympathy for her.

C'mon, she berates Diamond when she's already feeling down about losing the election, claims the schools foal have no business getting a playground because of the cost while dropping five digits on an exercise in pure narcissism, refers to the CMC derisively as 'blank-flanks' as if she was pre-teen bully, and despises Silver Spoon purely because of her family.

Not even your masterful work can make me feel a bit sorry for her.

The ever-evolving saga of Rich and his ex-wife, tho. That tugged a few heartstrings.

Is it wrong that I still don't give a fuck about Spoiled Rich, even after reading this? If I were Filthy Rich (the pony) I'd take Diamond and ditch the awful, awful bitch.

I don't care for Spoiled Rich one bit. But I do like this story and its portrayal of not only her, but also Filthy.

Spoiled proves herself once more not totally wrong about the Silvers. Everypony is the hero of their own story, I suppose.

8391759

Ah, earth pony psychology. When upset, work. It'll give your body something productive to do while your brain's trying to eat itself.

Yeah, but like you said, it's more than that. She's not working idly. Spoiled hasn't made a quiche ever since she learned Diamond Tiara doesn't like them, so this is not really her 'work' as such. This is baking her feelings of anger and disappointment and inadequacy and self-loathing into pastries until they're all outside her head and not inside. And of course, since they come of her (and not the film star quiche featured in the magazine) they'll never be perfect, or even good, or even worth anything more than disdain.

I think Filthy Rich is right. This family needs counseling. I'm scared, however, what ammunition Goldie could mine if she ever learns Diamond and Spoiled both had to see a shrink...*

*I doubt she'd be shocked it if was just Filthy. "I knew she'd drive you bonkers sooner rather than later, Filthy!"

i'm starting to think you're hacking. you're doing to well in this series
another like and fav

Great dialog and imagery to go with an insightful story.

One correction:

We can’t crush their precious little dreams just because they want to squeeze forty-thousand-bit project from a school that can barely afford a new bell.”

should be "to squeeze a forty-thousand-bit"

You write the best Riches I've seen. I love these flawed, extremely human (though pony-shaped) lovebirds, and their struggles with Diamond, with Silver Spoon, and the long shadow Goldie is throwing over the whole family.

Now if only you would do something similar with Silver Spoon's parents... :raritystarry:

Hm.

This is as well-written as I've come to expect in this continuity, but I still can't quite get into it. Yes, people (ponies) are different around people (ponies) they love, but I still can't get the square peg of Spoiled Rich in this story into the round hole of her canon personality. This doesn't feel like two sides of the same person - this feels like two similar, but still distinctly different people.

8392851
You got a point there. Also the Silver Standard references weren't... bad but I haven't read that book and they were a tad distracting. Still a really well written adult talk between a functioning couple.

8392851
Put her public mask on her. This is her at home, with her husband whom she trusts. That was her image for the public.

8392978 So the way she is in the show is the way she wants to be seen and remembered by others? Intentionally? I don't really buy that. If that makes any sense, she was too convincing as the self-absorbed jerk for that to be a facade, at least in my eyes.

“I suppose you might call it—”

“Don’t you dare.”

“A quiche market!”

I lost it at that. Dad Joke for the win.

This was absolutely beautiful. Some of the best characterization and all-around writing that I've seen in this fandom.

Man I love this story. After that famous episode, I have been wondering for a long time how Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara would rebuild their relationship. Most of the people who try just assume that Spoiled is evil and just yells at Diamond Tiara until she becomes an adult and they grow estranged. A look at things from Spoiled's perspective is interesting, and I'd love to see how those therapy sessions play out.

Also like how we get Spoiled's perspective on the Silvers. The Silver family is older and more menacing than the Rottens, and probably the Riches, given their age and reputation. And if Spoiled knows what was done to Silver Shill, I can't blame her for thinking them a bunch of reprobates (given that she has non-earth pony siblings). From her point of view, Diamond was fairly popular, then she became friends with Silver, then she stopped hanging out with anyone except Silver, and now Diamond is out and Silver is a really popular pony.

Glad Filthy was still able to skewer some of Spoiled's inconsistencies, like her exaggerating the cost of playground repairs, not seeking outside funding, and wasting $16K on a limestone statue.

if this isn't teh preeminent spoiled rich story that everyone should read, i'm gonna be disappointed.

i don't think i can read another story with her being a cardboard cutout/ cookie cutter b side villain.

huh.
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8392353
I think my favorite part of this is filthy thinking about getting help.
It shows that he values a healthy happy family over pride and image.

8393399

Also like how we get Spoiled's perspective on the Silvers. The Silver family is older and more menacing than the Rottens, and probably the Riches, given their age and reputation. And if Spoiled knows what was done to Silver Shill, I can't blame her for thinking them a bunch of reprobates (given that she has non-earth pony siblings). From her point of view, Diamond was fairly popular, then she became friends with Silver, then she stopped hanging out with anyone except Silver, and now Diamond is out and Silver is a really popular pony.

That's a very good point. She's mostly wrong, except for how Silver managed to turn her own popularity by kicking Diamond after everyone else had been alienated. Though that will likely turn around on Silver Spoon even faster, depending on how much the foals and adults will agree with her holding a grudge.

8393627
It also shows he knows his own faults. Filthy has been operating under a non-involvement policy with much of what's going on; it's not working, and he understands that.

“How do you think that ride felt, Spoiled? You think you’re the only one hurt by this kind of thing?” Filthy set the glass down with a firm clack. Droplets of wine splattered the table. “No, it’s not fun when your kid don’t want nothin’ to do with you. It’s awful. It kills you. But you suck it up, build a bridge, and get over it.” Softer, he added, “It’s not her job to love us. It’s our job to love her.”

You say you're tired
How I hate to hear you use that word
Every time it hurts;
You say you're tired
How I hate to hear you use that word:
Everybody hurts.

What really gets me is the core issue here: Spoiled is afraid that Diamond will never love her as much as she does Golden Glitter because Spoiled never actually gave birth to her, even though at this point Spoiled has been much more of a mother than Glitter has.

Man, can you imagine Diamond Tiara getting married someday, and both Spoiled and Glitter wanting to plan the wedding as mother of the bride?

8393762

That's a very good point. She's mostly wrong, except for how Silver managed to turn her own popularity by kicking Diamond after everyone else had been alienated.

It's kind of mix, honestly. Is Diamond Tiara almost entirely to blame for isolating everyone around her with her cruel actions? Of course. However, Silver inadvertently enabled this. In this setting, if Silver had never moved to Ponyville, Diamond Tiara's weird little one-sided war with the CMC would have been opposed by Pinchy, the Dink, and whoever else would be considered Diamond's closest friends. But because Diamond had one really good friend who supported her unconditionally for the longest time, she was able to keep fooling herself that she was popular and her actions were rational. It's the same reason why celebrities do crazy stuff that normal people would never do: they have an entourage that gives them unconditional positive feedback until they do something bad enough that the rest of the world notices.

Though that will likely turn around on Silver Spoon even faster, depending on how much the foals and adults will agree with her holding a grudge.

Not sure. Silver is smarter than Diamond, even if not as cunning, but she doesn't have Diamond's temper, and she's been taught at Wisteria how to nurse a grudge for years and serve revenge cold.

8393939

Not sure. Silver is smarter than Diamond, even if not as cunning, but she doesn't have Diamond's temper, and she's been taught at Wisteria how to nurse a grudge for years and serve revenge cold.

You hit upon another point there. Diamond used to trust Silver Spoon unconditionally. Now they showed each other their respective bad sides. You had horrible abuse from one side and betrayal and backstabbing from the other. They might never rebuild what they had before all this. Even if Silver has been taught the art of nursing a grudge and waiting for the right time, Diamond now knows that can happen at any moment.

Still, regarding the initial comment: We're somewhat agreeing on this, I think. If Silver Spoon plays it long-term, she could get away with it. She can use Diamond Tiara's paranoia from before as a club to beat down any worries popping up... as long as she doesn't do any of it out in the open. And if she does take revenge later, she'll be alienating anyone who came to enjoy the new Diamond Tiara. Worth it? Perhaps. It's not like horrible, petty, bone-headed, contemptuous mistreatment isn't also a family tradition for the Silvers.

As far as I can see, this whole story revolves around the idea: "The greatest evils are those done with good intentions."
I found myself wishing Filthy success in talking-down his angry and delusional wife, so... Well done!

And of all things... Quiche? Scrambled eggs in a pie crust is just a bad idea all around.

8393939

Man, can you imagine Diamond Tiara getting married someday, and both Spoiled and Glitter wanting to plan the wedding as mother of the bride?

Bad Moms II--Mother of the Bride of Frankenstallion

Ahhhh. So Spoiled's "I never sent her to the emergency room" barb doesn't quite stand up to scrutiny; she actually should've gone sooner. But then, no one ever said a heated argument in dire external circumstances was conducive to logical discourse.

"Quiche market". I love it. A quick search pulls up a Guardian article with a recipe for nettle quiche, with both metric and imperial units. I'm now trying to imagine what an earth pony or even a pegasus would have to go through to use nettles in the kitchen.

8391618
Of course, now you'll want to read at least The Silver Standard, but also And Yet, What Riches Still Await. I imagine you would miss a lot just reading this.

8393399
I haven't seen that yet, but I've seen two (I think?) where the Mane Six come in, Spoiled uses her mouth to dig the grave of her continued motherhood -- and possibly married life -- with an efficiency rivaling that of (Campfire Tales spoiler) Rockhoof, and DT is given over to the custody of another mare. (Or at least, that's how one went, and how the other seems to be going.)

8394015 "Remember the good old days, when the scariest thing at a wedding was a bugbear attack or changling invasion?"

8394053

Ahhhh. So Spoiled's "I never sent her to the emergency room" barb doesn't quite stand up to scrutiny; she actually should've gone sooner. But then, no one ever said a heated argument in dire external circumstances was conducive to logical discourse.

Not that it makes it much better. She didn't cause the initial injury directly, she just pushed an injured six-year-old to nearly cripple herself for life.

Oh dear. Now I understand. No wonder Filthy Rich doesn't like looking at the trophy room. He's got some serious emotional trauma from that. His little girl nearly crippled herself trying to please her mother, every time he finds her in there must be a sting to his heart.

8394053 Yeah, like I said, only ones where she comes off as 2-dimensionally evil. The sole exception I can remember is in Ponies and Dragons Just Have Fun, where Spoiled bonds with her daughter over tabletop RPGs.

8393987

Even if Silver has been taught the art of nursing a grudge and waiting for the right time, Diamond now knows that can happen at any moment.

This is true. Pretty iron-clad rule of this setting, Friendship is Power, and now Diamond has more friends. Perhaps Silver would be able to succeed at some act of petty revenge, perhaps not. But either way I think it will be hard for them to trust each other ever again. Silver might just stick with her new student government friends and be part of Twist's... posse?

Always loved stories with great dialogue in the most humdrum of settings, and this one takes the quiche.

Absolutely adored the chemistry between the two. I was especially taken with how smooth yet fickle the mood was throughout their conversation. Even the moments of non-dialogue as we follow Filthy's train of thought embellished every line they exchanged. Seeing as this might be the most sincere portrayal of both Filthy and Spoiled that I've seen so far only further amplifies that fact.

To take a beautiful and poignant line from this story to sum up my thoughts, not everyone here has the privilege of seeing an aurora, but damn me if I say this does not measure up to that. Thanks for sharing this story with us. :twilightsmile:

8394425
Could be, could be. Unless they're told to become friends again by divine fiat (i.e.Twilight Sparkle :trollestia:).

cute but really considering we saw how filthy actualy acted... this doesn't humanize her or make her look sympathetic, it makes her look manipulative.

Filthy took a last glance at the note and folded it in his pocket. Something old and familiar ghosted down his spine. In a blink, shadows of pageant trophies and bloody horseshoes traced through the office.

It was probably nothing… but Filthy Rich knew the pattern of “probably nothings.”

“Typeset, cancel my six-o-clock.”

This right here is the prestige.

This right here is where you took what everyone thinks is an extraordinarily awful character and, having made him ordinary and believable, then made him extraordinarily, unbelievably good--in an ordinary, believable way.

Extraordinary? Unbelievable? Shouldn't a father leave his job to go take care of unspecified emotional trouble at home? Of course he should. But would he? Before you answer, consider:

A guy, a successful professional like Spoiled Rich, is the Boss at work. He's respected, deferred to, obeyed. At home where he's just Dearest or Daddy--not so much.

At work he knows more or less what the rules are, what's expected of him and what success looks like. At home? He's constantly trying to hit a moving target with his kids. I mean, when your teenage daughter decides you're a capitalist pig, what do you do--appeal to the SEC? And he's never really sure how his account stands with his spouse because he's gone most of the day, most days of the week.

At work he can see the results of his decisions in immediate, concrete terms: books show profit or loss, shares rise or fall, bonuses grow or shrink. At home--hell, who really knows how a kid or a marriage will turn out until death do you part?

Of course none of this should matter. An ideal man would put his family first: people work to support a family, not the other way 'round.

An ordinary believable man, though, is more likely to stick to the work he knows, and feels secure in, and is more immediately rewarded for. It's a cowardly choice but all men would be cowards if they durst. Society even offers him the fig leaf of "Breadwinner," so he can claim he's just working all the harder to feed and house the wife and kids. That's how you get workaholics. They're afraid to go home.

But Filthy Rich is not afraid. He has courage. And he doesn't need a fig leaf because he has nothing to be ashamed of. He guts up and does the work even when it's scary, confusing, and uncertain of issue. And if you think one man in ten on earth is like that then you have a touching faith in humanity.

I don't believe in Santa Claus. But I want to believe in Santa Claus. You wrote about a guy who just does the job that's set before him and doesn't think it's such a big deal. Who happens to be Santa Claus.

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You better watch out. You better not cry. This is one hell of an Orthodox guy.

And so for a while I can believe.

TDR

Was this..... Did you just hit us with a shaggy dog story?

Filthy reached under the cabinet’s frame, letting his hoof trail along the bottom until he felt a raised latch. “Well, let’s put it this way: you remember the summer of eighty-three?”

“Of course.”

The liquor cabinet unlocked with a click. “I don’t.” At some point, there had been a club, a train, Golden Glitter, three other ponies, a black eye, and somewhere along the way he’d turned two thousand bits into eight. Somehow. 

Mm. And a color-case-hardened hand-engraved side-lock wedding with custom-fitted Neighapolitan walnut stock not long thereafter?

(Then again, Goldie's folks would seem like the hot-blued gold-chased Beretta automatic type)

Fun fact: I couldn't remember the title of this fic, so I typed "quiche" in the search box. This is the only story that comes up. ^^

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