It was said that he had long since left this world. Long has it been since his presence cause untold misery. But, inevitably, history repeats itself. We all thought he was gone forever—

That's where you're wrong, Kiddo!

Hey, everyone! Zodiacspear here with a brand-spanking new review for all your reading pleasures. (You sick puppies) I’ve realized it’s been near a year since I last wrote a review for this group and, after seeing Muggony’s review, I decided it was time to get back in the saddle again.

Try to get that song out of your head now.

Anyway, today, I bring you a review of With Your Shield or On It. by PatchworkPoltergeist. As with my earlier reviews, I will focus on four key aspects of a good story. That being: Plot, Atmosphere, Characters, and Grammar. Without further attempt at being funny, let's get right into it.

The story tags include MLP:FiM, (as if that wasn’t obvious enough, seriously, this tag seems redundant until the site eventually goes to more than MLP), Adventure, and Drama. All three tags fit this story perfectly, and I’m always in the mood to read an adventure story. My niche, if you will.

Character tags include Other, Wonderbolts, and Fleetfoot. As this story mainly focuses on the grudgingly-heroic actions of our favorite lispy Wonderbolt, the Fleetfoot tag is appropriate. The Wonderbolts tag should go without saying, and the Other tag is for a character named Silver Lining. At first, I mistook him as an OC—a pleasant one at that—by turns out he is a minor character of the Wonderbolts team and was once referred to in a WB-centric episode.

Next, we have the description:

Practice laps. That's all Fleetfoot wanted from her week off. A chance to build wing muscle, rack up her speed stats, and feel the wind in her mane. She's a racer. It's what she does.

Fleetfoot didn't ask to be put on search-and-rescue detail, and she definitely didn't ask to get saddled with the slowest Wonderbolt on the team.

She didn't ask for what came next, either.

Fleetfoot is not a monster fighter. She’s not an Element of Harmony. She's not a medic. She's not a hero. Fleetfoot’s just a pony who can fly really fast. But right now, she's all Silver Lining's got.

This description does exactly what it’s meant to do; it gets the reader’s attention. A quick look into the protagonist’s mind, a hint at the conflict to come, and the mystery of ‘what could be’ to further draw the reader’s interest without giving away too much. As far as descriptions go, this is one of the best I’ve seen.

Key Point - Plot: This plot to this quick adventure story is fairly well stated in the description and the story follows true to it. Fleet and Lining go on their rescue mission and encounter more than they bargained for. It’s straightforward and doesn’t deviate all that much from it, however, that isn’t to say that it’s so straightforward as to forget another Key Point.

Key Point - Characters Characterization wasn’t forgone in this story. Usually with adventure stories, the characterization is just as important as the story they go on. Here, we mainly focus upon Fleetfoot and her take on all that transipres throughout the story. From pushing herself to get faster, to work for the best flight time in the Wonderbolts, to her perspective of the rescue mission and the resulting encounter with the big nasty. She’s solid all the way through and enjoyable to read.

Silver Lining we get a lot of info through dialogue and Fleet’s musings. We learn a bit more about him and realize his background isn’t as stellar one would think of a Wonderbolt. However, his more jovial attitude is a welcomed contrast to Fleet’s near stoic attitude throughout. He was also enjoyable to learn about.

My one gripe was that, to me, Spitfire seemed a bit more distant or harsh than what we’ve typically seen of the Captain. However, this can be overlooked as she simply having to be so when the time demands it.

And Soarin’s hopeful expression of escaping the predicament he was in swiftly changing to acceptance of it was hilarious.

Key Point - Atmosphere: Perhaps this story’s one weaker point. While I got drawn into the story with the characters and their interactions, I really didn’t get the feel of the dramatic atmosphere until the end of the rescue mission and the slow appearance of the big bad, which came after half of the story. Though, once it did, it was great to read with a small bit of action. What follows is another complaint I had, once we realize who the big bag is, the remaining scenes are just little cutaways giving us only the big developments of what was going on without real in-depth look at them from the character’s perception, that was, right until the end of the sequence where I applauded Fleetfoot for what she did. No spoilers here.

Key Point - Grammar and Mechanics: As far as grammar issues go, I really didn’t see any, and I applaud the author and his pre-reader/editor for that, bravo.

Mechanically, there are a couple of places where the author tells where a bit of show would’ve been better used. I can understand keeping the pace of the story going, but don’t just blatantly tell us this, show it in at least dialogue. This helps better immerse the reader.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts: This story was a great, shorter, adventure story that excelled in characterization. Don’t let a few minor things the story had keep you from enjoying this little tidbit.

Lining’s teasing of Fleet’s lisp shocked me in realizing that she had a lisp to begin with but I had completely forgotten!

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Recommended, nice!

Of all things, I'm happiest that the description works as well as I thought it did. Summaries have always been my weak spot and I can never quite tell when it works or not.

While I got drawn into the story with the characters and their interactions, I really didn’t get the feel of the dramatic atmosphere until the end of the rescue mission and the slow appearance of the big bad, which came after half of the story.

Fair enough, it's not really supposed to be felt until they get to the forest with a very slow build from there. Fleetfoot herself doesn't feel anything necessarily wrong with the situation aside from the place being kind of eerie, and that can be credited to the cramped space and worry for the lost pony. I'm also infamously fond of slow burns.

once we realize who the big bag is, the remaining scenes are just little cutaways giving us only the big developments of what was going on without real in-depth look at them from the character’s perception

This was mostly the result of wordcount restrictions for the contest. I can also argue that in a time of crisis the mind has a habit of compressing events into tiny little segments of focus... but mostly it was for the sake of wordcount. So, again, fair. c: