• Member Since 19th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Sunday

Fahrenheit


Breaking: Last Minute may or may not actually be Best Minute

E

There are no new cadets being trained, the big annual Wonderbolts party extravaganza isn't until this weekend, and Spitfire will only be away from the Academy for three days.

Fleetfoot is definitely ready for this responsibility.

Except she's not.

Somepony is totally getting fired.


A just-for-fun exercise in correspondence. Reading on a small screen is not recommended.
Preread by the ever-so-talented Ponky.



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Featured in EFNW's Fanfic Spotlight #34!

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 182 )

:rainbowlaugh: Oh man, this is great! It looks like Rainbow, Pinkie, and Rarity will all be showing up. That should be interesting, to say the least. And what exactly happened when Misty Fly was left in charge? Can't be much worse than how Fleetfoot is doing.

FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Yo Fast Clip,
Apparently Spitfire promoted her star cadettie to Training Instructor. I swear, she could at least pretend to not play favorites.
Anyway, ask Rainbow Dash about her training regimen, have her set a team goal for the week, and then give her full reign over the Reserve and Performance Squadrons

This can only end terribly well.

One of my very favorite examples of extremely unique storytelling. I've always loved that you can take so much creative and artistic liberty in fanfiction, especially on this site. You're on to watch, Fahrenheit! Keep at it! Great ideas and spectacular execution.

Pretty sure Fleetfoot is going to be in mondo trouble when Spitfire gets back.

oh, so many ways Rainbow in charge can go. She can collapse under the pressure at first like with the Best Young Fliers contest, or she can push to hard like with the Water Tornado, or she can let her ideas go crazy like with the pet competition

This is the oddest story I've seen. I like it!

This is going to end in tragedy.

*Grabs popcorn*

Oh, this is going to be bad. Or good, depending on your point of view. But this is definitely going to be something! :rainbowdetermined2:

5929422
That's a NATO alphabet reference, I think; Golf Hotel India Juliet Kilo, that sort of a thing. It's just Reserve "I".

Okay, this promises to be disastrous, in the very best of ways. :pinkiehappy:

I'm enjoying the stationery gimmick, too; it works nicely for this kind of a fic.

And Rarity's little fib comes back at long last...

5929207 Without a doubt. There is absolutely no way this can end poorly.

5929328 Aw, you. Thanks a bunch, your input was really great!

5929435 Hopefully it'll eventually get a laugh out of you, if only on the inside. Glad you're enjoying!

5929749 Ooh, those are some good predictions. So, so many things can go wrong happen.

5929915 Ha, thanks!

5930607 Thank you, the letters were a lot of fun to put together!

5929361 There's a 95% chance you're 100% right.

5930038 I dunno, it could totally end in sunshine and rainbows and cupcakes.

5931101 I was mildly upset that it didn't make a reappearance in the show; they could have done so much with it.

5929422 5930600
Yes, the NATO phonetic alphabet is used to name the squadrons. Despite the fact that India doesn't have a horse pun in it, and likely doesn't exist within the MLP:FiM universe, I kept it to maintain the integrity of the alphabet. In this instance, it's an anachronism.

It's just a bomb waiting to explode.

5932164
It is, and if you REALLY concentrate, you can read it.
>:D

Oh man, my decision to watch you is being rewarded already. :pinkiehappy: Hilarious stuff!

5932164 5932204
For some reason I didn't have much trouble with it, so here's a typed transcript. (It's not in the Transcripts chapter, so I'm putting it in spoilertext.)

The sky looked like Soarin tonight. Great swaths of baby blue and periwinkle stretched across the horizon, with hints of something deeper and more mysterious just barely peeking through the dark green shadows of the trees. My head still hurts from the minor concussion that unicorn gave me, and I can't remember what the filly who saved my life looked like.

I'm still so ashamed that we even needed to be saved. Three Wonderbolts, two of my officers in the R.E.A., and we still needed to be saved, like infants just barely learning that flapping isn't enough to fly.

I remember talking to the filly. her voice was adorably squeaky and rough on the edges, kind of like mine is after calling commands in the atmosphere for hours. But that's it. That's all I remember about her.

Crescent Moon told me she pulled off a Sonic Rainboom?!? AND I DIDN'T SEE IT! I'm more than slightly upset. I'm disappointed.

I don't know who she is, but I am going to find that filly again, and one day she'll be wearing blue, if I have
(ends mid-sentence)

5932325
It honestly feels good that I was able to read the diary, and read it correctly. Even if I did need a transcript of it to confirm it. :twilightblush:

Look, if she can find the badge for whatever rank she just made up, she can promote herself to Ultimate Equestrian Conqueror, for all I care.

th01.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/348/d/2/rainbow_dash__whatsa_problem___by_erikngn-d6xyclg.png

Also: Spitfire doesn't have her stress meds? Uh-oh.

Let's see:
• Training Instructor Wonderbolt (reserve) and fastest pegasus in modern history, Rainbow Dash, to run the reserves ragged? Check.
• Up-and-coming fashion designer and hall decorator, Rarity, given an unlimited budget? Check.
• Dessert chef, sugar addict, and Primo Party Planner Pony, Pinkie Pie, to… be Pinkie Pie? Check.
• Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Friendship, Multiple Time Savior of Equestria, Tirek's Bane, Redeemer & Friend of Princess Luna, Vanquisher & Friend of Discord, Bearer of the Element of Magic (ret.), Personal Protégée of Her Majesty Princess Celestia, Graduate of Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns egregia cum laude, Archmage excelsior, Mother Sister Hatcher & Assistant to the Great & Honorable Spike the Brave & Glorious Champion of the Crystal Empire, and Liberator & Resident Librarian of the Town of Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle, to despell either highly classified ESS information or Spitfire's unenchanted diary? Check.
• Chief caterer and champion rodeo mare, Applejack, to provide even more raw ammunition? In progress.

All we need now is an excuse to force invite Fluttershy to attend, and the bomb will be fully fused and primed to detonate!

5932679

Fluttershy will arrive because Tank was lonely without Rainbow Dash

Great work so far with this fic, can't wait to read more. I am especially interested in stories related through mail, and I really wish there were more of these out there. Definitely worth a thumbs up and a follow!

Unfortunately, I do have one little nit-pick in this chapter:

If this Academy isn't functioning flawlessly by the time I'm back,

To my knowledge, the phrase "by the time" indicates some sort of deadline, which in turn indicates that a change in the status quo needs to happen. In this context, that means the academy is not currently functioning flawlessly. I would recommend changing the phrase to one of the following:

"If this Academy isn't still functioning flawlessly when I get back," //indicating that the status quo should not be changed

or

"If this Academy is functioning less than flawlessly by the time I'm back" //indicating that a decrease of quality is not good

P.S. This is all based on the fact that no self-respecting officer would ever be any less than perfectly eloquent, of course.

Things are either going to go okay or really wrong, and I'm not sure which to root for.

Great work so far, keep it up.

Dead dead dead dead! That's what Fleet is by the end of this.

Hmmm... I wonder if Fleet could bring back Lightning Dust. Just for the heck of it or for more labor.

5932951 Ooh, I see what you mean. Nice catch. Thanks, and I'm glad you're enjoying it!

5932164
Yep yep; it is indeed about the Best Young Flyer's incident.

5932325
Yeah that's pretty much it. I'm impressed; I wrote it, and I still have difficulty making out the words.

5932679

I'm not sure about that first one. One of the core things about MLP FiM that distinguishes it from lesser show's is that character development sticks and the ponies remember their life lessons.

Rainbow already learned that getting too ambitious and not paying enough attention to the needs of her team can cost her big (Hurricane Fluttershy). I suspect that Rainbow's training will be the only part of this that doesn't go wrong.

5932292 You hopped aboard this train wreck at a pretty decent time. :rainbowlaugh: Glad you're enjoying it!

5932400 pbs.twimg.com/media/BnnxOw0IUAAROKm.png:large

5933655
Very slowly. There was squinting involved.

The story is absolutely amazing so far. Can't wait to see the start of the disaster. :trixieshiftleft:

Also, would you mind if I add your story to a Fleetfoot group? :twilightsmile:

5934991 Thanks! And by all means, go right ahead! :twilightsmile:

This is fantastic. Talk about spiralling out of control - Fleetfoot is so screwed. :rainbowlaugh:

Forget Ponyville. All the ponies in Equestria are crazy!

Dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead.

The Dead Song doesn't have any more lyrics. It is pretty much all Fleet needs.

Oh lordy lord. Now THAT'S a trainwreck.

Go Fleetfoot!

Dear goodness, the catastrophe report sheet is spectacular. :rainbowlaugh:

We're gonna need an "everything back to normal and nobody remembers a thing" spell sometime soon.

Wonder what happens when Spitfire does a sonic rainboom... I hope it involves a lot of fire :pinkiehappy:

Credit where it's due. Rainbow got Rainbooms out of them. So she must be doing something, not wrong.

:rainbowkiss:

Okay. When Ponky pointed me to this story amidst raving praise, it was only about half finished, and I frankly didn't get it. Or at least, I didn't get what he loved about it so much. But now that we've gotten to the end (at least I assume this is the end; I haven't actually checked for the "complete" stamp yet), I think I appreciate it a lot more. This was a fun little story. It made me laugh. I don't think it was the funniest thing I've read here, but it's still worth sharing. Thanks, Ponky. And thanks to you, Farhenheit, for doing this. The letter thing was a great idea.

Great job breaking Equestria itself, Fleetfoot.

I love how the last page is stapled on upside-down. :rainbowlaugh: A great little detail to cap off the ginormous trainwreck, and a perfect example of the combination of laziness and ingenuity behind the whole fiasco.

Edited to add:
(from credit doc)

Fun fact: This is actually a shipfic. It ships Fleetfoot with lots of bad decisions.

pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5597_small.jpg

All things considered, Fleetfoot got off pretty light.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that I can never leave anypony else incharge of the Academy. I'm stuck here until I die or retire.

Yours,

Captain Spitfire.

PS

Please send money for throat lozenges. All this yelling is bad for my throat.

5939398

Fun fact: This is actually a shipfic. It ships Fleetfoot with lots of bad decisions.

I believe that's the definition of a sinking ship-fic.

5935689 5936048 Thank you!

5936945 It's a document that's probably used much more frequently than anyone would like.

5939357 No, thank you! :twilightsmile: I'm glad you were able to enjoy it, despite your first impression! And there is an epilogue on the way, just to finish it off.

5939392

Yup dead

That's it, that's the story.

5939398 :twilightsheepish:

5939475 She really did.

5939508 oh my goodness. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.

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