• Member Since 11th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 20th, 2022

Justice3442

Horrifically Fun

Justice3442 Joined 11th Sep, 2013 · Offline

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Sonata has a tooth ache. Adagio and Aria don't want to deal with it. Sunset Shimmer gets involved. Applejack is there. It's gonna be one of those days.

Inspired by a conversation with Tired Old Man, naturally.

Cover art by Rileyav.

Rated "Teen" and tagged with "Sex" because of Adagio freakin' Dazzle
Chapters (9)
Complete Published: Feb 29th, 2016 Download
32,383 words
Comments ( 359 )
Soufriere
Soufriere #2 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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Hoo-boy. A new Dazzlings fic from one of my favourite writers of Dazzlings insanity? This is gonna be fun.

Already promising. I love how Sonata is so sweet but has that little air of creepiness that just comes out from time to time.

Tired Old Man
Tired Old Man #3 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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A window on the second story of the house opened and Adagio appeared. “I don’t see what your problem is. You have Applesnack to help you!”

I do appreciate the little things in life. This is definitely one of them.

Snowdrifter
Snowdrifter #4 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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I think someone sabotaged this - I could only up vote it ONCE!:pinkiegasp:
It's Sonata fair... :trollestia:
SO, I give you... Ze moustache!:moustache:
And now... I go! :coolphoto:

StevieBond
StevieBond #5 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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This story reminds me of when I once had my tooth taken out at two thirty...

...I'll show myself out.

CassandraMyOCisBestpony
CassandraMyOCisBestpony #8 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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I suppose it's too much to ask that Sonata isn't terrified of the dentist.

MythrilMoth
MythrilMoth #12 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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“Go hug Adagio or something!”

“No way!” Adagio said as she swung her hands in front of her. “She already crawled into bed with me last night! She spent the whole night cozying up to me and moaning! It was horrible!” Adagio frowned and stared up at her eyelids. “… Never thought I’d say that.”

I never get tired of the way you write the Dazzlings. :rainbowlaugh:

“You can’t shoot me!” Sonata insisted. “I don’t even have rabies! I need to defend Aria against a rabid wolf first! Owwwwwwwwoooooooowwwwwwie!”

“So… what?” Aria said. “Do we need to go to the zoo or something?”

Adagio shook her head. “Zoos don’t keep rabid animals. We’d have to find an animal with rabies, capture it… have it bite a wolf at the zoo then steal said wolf.”

“Uhg...” Grunted Aria. “There goes our weekend…”

Truly stupefying leaps of logic there. :rainbowlaugh:

Adagio looked down at her chest with a frown. “Mortals have to deal with their bodies getting all saggy and wrinkly.”

Adagio doesn't have enough of a chest to worry about it sagging.

“Don’tcha think you’re maybe frettin’ yer pigs are gonna run wild before you even open the pen?”

Sunset shook her head. “The Dazzlings don’t know how to do anything but run wild! You should know that by now!”

“Shoot, they’re just normal teenagers like you and me now!” Applejack said. “Can’t be all that bad…”

They're anything but normal, AJ. They're depraved sociopaths without morals, ethics, or empathy.

Which is what makes them so much fun to watch. :rainbowlaugh:

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Well if that’s what ya think, you seemed awfully eager to get away from mah home.”

“Sorry,” Sunset said earnestly. “But horseback riding is kinda weird for me.”

Applejack frowned. “Huh… Guess that was a tad insensitive of me to suggest.”

Sunset nodded. “Also your horse keeps giving me this look… Like he knows what I am.”

“Guess that’d be a might unsettling.”

Sunset turned and stepped up to the door. “Plus I think he likes me because of that.”

“Shoot, he’s a friendly horse. He likes everybody!”

Sunset turned and gave Applejack a sideways glance. “That’s not the type of like I’m talking about.”

*DIES* Nice Take That at all the "Sunset fucks a horse" fics out there. :rainbowlaugh:

“Hey, I know!” Applejack spoke up. “When is it time to go to the dentist?”

Everyone else turned to stare at Applejack.

Applejack grinned wide. “Tooth-hurty! Heh, heh, heh…”

:facehoof: AJ, it's time you met Mr. Spray Bottle.

Justice3442
Justice3442 #13 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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6985819

Hilariously, I original was hoping to make this "Everyone" but less then 500 words in, I knew that was not to be.

I almost added "Rated Teen because of Adagio freakin' Dazzle" to the description.

Justice3442
Justice3442 #14 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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6986329
"*DIES* Nice Take That at all the "Sunset fucks a horse" fics out there. "

What's great is I wrote this before I even checked the feature box and found out there was yet another of those fics out and about.

chillbook1
chillbook1 #16 · Feb 29th, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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This is probably my favorite iteration of the Dazzlings, ever. Geezy-leezy, this was hilarious!

GenerousGhibli
GenerousGhibli #18 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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Sunset nodded. “Also your horse keeps giving me this look… Like he knows what I am.”

“Guess that’d be a might unsettling."

Sunset turned and stepped up to the door. “Plus I think he likes me because of that.”

“Shoot, he’s a friendly horse. He likes everybody!”

Sunset turned and gave Applejack a sideways glance. “That’s not the type of like I’m talking about.”

Given that I just came here from Holy's lateset masterpiece, this made me laugh. A lot.

Also, Sonata has... Issues, and I find them amusing.

Dustchu
Dustchu #19 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
Reply

Awwwhawwhaww, I love Sonata, xD she's funny, and in this she's awesome XD
Awesome work on this, faved!

strangephantasm
strangephantasm #20 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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I don't... I don't understand... Y-you're.... You're saying that someone DOESN'T want Sonata to hug them? :pinkiegasp:
I... I... I think my skull just tried to vomit my brain out. I'mma go lie down now.

OmniFox
OmniFox #21 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · 5 · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
Reply

Human Flash & Princess Twilight = NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!! NEVER EVER!!!!!!!

MythrilMoth
MythrilMoth #22 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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“Alright, so this is not at all who I thought you meant when you said you knew of some ‘hot chicks’ who needed a ride, Sunset.”

"I thought you needed me to deliver some Buffalo wings!"

Flash Sentry sat in the driver’s seat of his muscle car, his day having gone from ‘boring’, to ‘intriguing’, to ‘OH GOD! WHAT?!’ in record time.

I've had days like that. They usually end in tears and angry, aggressive jerking off. :applecry:

Sunset turned around in her seat. “Would you three just calm down for like five minutes?! DON’T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND!”

Adagio narrowed her eyes. “You’re not driving.”

“DON’T MAKE FLASH TURN THIS CAR AROUND!”

“Uh, Sunset…? I’m on the highway.”

“DON’T MAKE FLASH TAKE THE NEXT EXIT AND THEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ON THE HIGHWAY GOING THE OTHER DIRECTION SO THE CAR IS EFFECTIVELY TURNED AROUND!”

:rainbowlaugh:

Sunset raised her eyelids slightly at Flash. “Any other questions?”

Flash sighed and shook his head, then paused thoughtfully for a moment. “Yeah, just one… Does Twilight have like… some sort of magic phone number or mailbox she uses to keep in contact with you, and can I have her magical phone number or give you a letter to mail or something?”

:facehoof: Time and place, pathetic crush boy. (Although to be fair, it's a reasonable request considering what she just tricked him into putting up with...)

“Oh the police?! They’re pretty easy to placate! I have a little trick I do when they show up, you see I just…” Adagio went quiet as she rolled the fingers on her right hand into an ‘O’. Similarly, she opened her mouth and pursed her lips into a similarly sized round shape before she began rhythmically moving her hand towards and away from her lips at a diagonal angle while she poked at one of her cheeks with her tongue.

OH DEAR GOD.

Flash broke the silence. “Wait… What if it’s a policewoman? I mean… Won’t you have trouble there?”

Sunset smacked her face with both palms and shook her head.

Adagio leaned forward again. “Oh, not a problem! I just…” Adagio formed a ‘V’ with her right index and middle finger then placed it in front of her mouth. She began licking the space where her fingers met.

I THINK THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION NEEDS A PRIEST.

“Ow! OW!” Adagio exclaimed. “THIS ISN’T VERY FRIENDSHIP OF YOU, SUNSET! OW!”

That's my girl. :moustache:

Flash shook his head. “I don’t… I don’t… Sunset?! In case I don’t make it through this, I need… I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!”

“MYStOmache!MyTEEth!mystomACHE!mytEETH!”

Sunset began to weep openly. “Choke-Sob-Yes, Flash?!”

“I NEED to tell you to TELL Twilight Sparkle that she is just SO, SO hot! LIKE DAMN! There needs to be inter dimensional LAWS about looking that good, or something!”

“… WHAT?!”

:facehoof::ajbemused::rainbowlaugh: Just...

Man.

I just...

Man.

(Not that I disagree, but he has literally the hottest, sexiest girl to ever EXIST sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HIM...)

(Oh, and also the bullshit situation they're in.)

With a resolute expression on her face, Sunset marched over to Flash and laid her back on the asphalt next to Flash’s boots. She stuck her head right behind the front driver side tire of the car, not caring that the various sauces in her hair were now mixing with the dirt in the parking lot. “Alright, Flash. Get back in that car and throw it into reverse!”

“WHAT?! Sunset I’m not—”

“Come on, Flash!” Sunset cried. “Be my mercy angel!”

:pinkiesad2: Hang in there, Shimmy. Hang in there.

Sporktacles
Sporktacles #23 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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You know, I've defended my love of fanfiction by explaining how the writing is every bit as serious, insightful and thought-provoking as original fiction.

And somehow the reason I look up this author more than any other is because I want to read more funny stories about how ridiculously crazy the Dazzlings are.

Also, I feel sorry for Sunset. Her ex is gushing over another girl right in front of her, as if her ego didn't need any more bashing already.

Crepusculo
Crepusculo #24 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · 1 · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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Angel Of Mercy: Well? Should we do something? Put her out of her misery?

Death: Hmmm no she isn't from our world so if she dies here then we have to go through a whole bunch of paperwork and deal with HER world's grim reaper and that guy's a prick. Plus I got to stalk and kill those humans that keep escaping their fate. NO ONE F*CKS UP MY GRAND DESIGN GODDAMNIT! Plus she's someone else that can keep that Sonata girl alive and I don't what to deal with her when she dies.

Raistlin
Raistlin #25 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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I know I should hate Flash for displaying his obsession with Princess Twilight in a very inconvenient moment, yet considering how Sunset is guilty forcing her ex into dealing with the Dazzlings... I really cannot :applejackunsure:

chillbook1
chillbook1 #26 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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I thought this story was the best before, but now it's super-ultra-mega-hyper the best.

EmperorOfDarkness
EmperorOfDarkness #27 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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What Flash should asked was: What if the cop was gay?

But I'm pretty sure Adagio's answer would've been: Not when I'm through with them.

Lupus
Lupus #28 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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Y'know even with super sexy, seductive, screw-anything-that-moves Adagio, super sexy, violent, will-fight-you-at-the-drop-of-a-hat Aria is still my favorite.

BenRG
BenRG #32 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 1: Better Problem Resolution by Getting Someone Else to Do It ·
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Welp! AJ and Aria are trying to kill each other, Sonata is unknowingly trying to kill Adagio and Sunset is going to her happy place. I'd say that things are going swimmingly! ((Needs an excited Silver Spoon emoji))

Stardust_Shade
Stardust_Shade #34 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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Hilarious...more naughty Adagio vs Sunset please xD

Dustchu
Dustchu #35 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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:rainbowlaugh: Hahahaha! OMG man, this.... yes!
Kekekeek, I love it.


NIce work XD

StevieBond
StevieBond #36 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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Instant fave, based on the fact that this chapter killed me. :rainbowlaugh:

Justice3442
Justice3442 #38 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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6989469

This would have been a very safe bet if it weren't for the fact that Sonata is a complete nut bar.

Justice3442
Justice3442 #39 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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6988981
6987100

I went ahead and added one like given the content of the latest chapter.

JediWyrm
JediWyrm #40 · Mar 1st, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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Just imagine how the dentist will handle it all.

dangerbrony
dangerbrony #41 · Mar 2nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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I normally don't upvote a story until it's finished or has been going long enough that I realize I look forward to every chapter. This is an exception. My face hurts from how much I've been laughing. More, please? :fluttershysad:

Highlord Langslock
Highlord Langslock #43 · Mar 2nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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6988499 To be fair, pretty much everyone is crazy in Justice3442's fics.

Albi
Albi #45 · Mar 2nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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I think it's safe to say you write the most hilarious Dazzlings on the site. Actually, your stories in general are hilarious.

Justice3442
Justice3442 #46 · Mar 2nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
Reply

6991380

Awwwwww, shucks! :twilightblush: Thank you! I'm a big fan of your work as well... dear God do I have lots of "Long Road to Friendship" to catch up on! :twilightoops:

Aramadon
Aramadon #47 · Mar 2nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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“Ow! OW!” Adagio exclaimed. “THIS ISN’T VERY FRIENDSHIP OF YOU, SUNSET! OW!”

Oh, I've got to remember that one.

CassandraMyOCisBestpony
CassandraMyOCisBestpony #48 · Mar 2nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 2: We Shall Ride Eternal, Hairy and Dumb! ·
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I thought her tooth hurt, did she drink those tacos through a straw or something?

BenRG
BenRG #49 · Mar 2nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 3: Dentist Who ·
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So, Sunset, what does it feel like to be the only adult, not just in the room, but in the dimension? :pinkiecrazy:

Lupus
Lupus #50 · Mar 2nd, 2016 · · · Chapter 3: Dentist Who ·
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they passed a large fish tank occupied by a thin white-black-yellow fish, a puffer fish, a purple-orange fish, a thin yellow-fish, a black-and-white striped fish, a small cleaner shrimp, and a pink starfish.

vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/pixar/images/d/d3/Chrs_tank.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20110924225251
I knew that sounded familiar...

Aria continued to grin wildly at the woman. “Anytime, anywhere.”

And then she Water Tribe's outta there!

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